Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was weird. I was hearing messages from the snarky arrogant Boone clan, something about prosecuting us for having violated copyright laws and Ferrer being incensed about our impersonation of Debbie Boone. And don't I know that it was Kathy Wilson who did the "You Light Up My Life" skit in the talent show? Only because I watched it from the audience. Why would I have to pay for the copyright transgressions of the Wilson family? It's not like they ever tell me anything. I don't know anything about it. I think they should be paying me to compensate for all this harassment, none of which I was prepared to handle.

Which Reminds Me

I have no need of any Southern Baptist spokesman to represent me. For one thing, I have no reason to be negotiating with the Anglican Church in regards to my church membership for purposes of linking through them to the Catholics. It's not like there is anything to discuss with them. I am sure they will be taking very good care of the castle without any help from me. I have no castle claims to speak of. Just because some meddlesome Southern busybodies are trying to get in my face, that does not mean they represent me in any way. Why are they bothering me? I do not wish to be represented by some clueless Southern boys who have gotten too big for their britches, as the saying goes. There is just nothing to discuss. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Jesus is all that matters in terms of eternity.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sometimes they try to make me feel like I am the virus, which makes me rather angry with them, those tormentors, and then I remember that God loves me and that I am who God made me to be and then I don't care so much about what they think, because anyway, it's not about them. They really don't matter in the long run. It's about me and my personal relationship with God. That is what matters in terms of eternity.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward, all these nasty French Catholics pretending to be related to me. Isn't Lisa just the most repulsive thing, the way she pretends to be so spiritual whilst all the while stabbing me in the back every time I turn around? Of course, I can say pretty much the same thing about Max. We are not particularly impressed with the French plan to absorb us into their French monstrosity whilst breeding out the Protestants. Our French uncle was trying to push me into the only mold of single woman that he knows of, that of my dad's cousin Suzanne Baits, who was a certified teacher and also traveled the globe amongst other adventures although never marrying. I, however, do not fit into that mold so this farcical drama is rather inconvenient for me. I am not a certified teacher and have no money for travel, so this whole thing just doesn't work for me. I need to find a nice Protestant husband who can pay my bills and also help us to isolate the against the French Catholic virus.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, my grandmother was a Strickland. Generally speaking, the Stricklands settled in Virginia in colonial times, but before that, in Tudor times, the family was based at a castle located somewhere in Middle England. The Strickland ancestors may have been attached somehow to the French Normans of William the Conqueror, you know, the "veni vidi vinci" crowd, and yet their castle is so far north of London that perhaps it would be hard for France to make any claims to that. The Stricklands of England were Roman Catholic, of the Bloody Mary variety of Catholic who would probably like to slit the throats of their Protestant American cousins, someone has said. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. I only know that my grandmother was a registered member of the local Methodist church. So if the Catholic Stricklands would rather turn over the castle to the UKs National Trust than to solicit the help of their Protestant cousins, well, so be it. I never had any thought of that. Castles require a great deal of maintenance. We just don't have money for that and aren't the UK royalties rolling in dough? There is just no comparison.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that when I was at Evangel, our quadmate Linda Rogers was complaining about having to clean the bathroom more than her fair share. Well, sorry but as there were four of us in that picture I can't take all the blame for that. There might be something about that that I don't remember.

Which Reminds Me

They were talking about splitting England in terms of its conquerors, the French to the south and the Scandinavians to the north, as if everyone else was just nobody important. Who was saying that? It is not so clear to me who said that and why.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, ha ha ha! Since when do we ever think about, much less discuss, the internal affairs of some monarchical pretenders to the French throne? You must have mistaken me for some French Royalist. We here in the U.S. do not have monarchs, but of course we are not going to tell the French or the Spanish or the Italians what to do with their aristocracies. They certainly do love their glossy Royalist magazines full of photos of every detail of the lives of those European aristocrats and celebrities. You have your right to choose to have a king as also we have our right to live where checks and balances do the job of government. I never had much interest in learning more about that. I am so far down the ladder from any monarchical interest I wouldn't even want to have to draw even more attention to my utter lack of royal line worthiness. Europe is supposed to stay in its own Royalist bubble and leave the rest of us in America to our own independent lifestyles, but I digress.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, ha ha ha! Anglo-Saxon Dawn pretending to be a victimized Briton. And all these light or blondish Northumbrian Italians trying to claim the Anglo-Saxon crown of Northumberland. Ummm....not really.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do wonder what part of the word "evil" these snarky wicked Butterdog cousins do not seem to understand. Just because your name sort of sounds like "better," that does not give you an automatic advantage in the marketplace of life. Well, at least in my opinion it should not. In fact, I think that there should be a more level playing field in which the snarky wicked Butterdogs would not be given any advantages whatsoever, and thus they would be utterly crushed. Anyway, I am not sure who originally said that. I am just vomiting their stupid Butterdog garbage because I was given no other choice. I really don't understand what their problem is.

Which Reminds Me

I suddenly remembered something. It was your own Italian Jean Fagnilli whose face appears so deeply embedded in the Towering Inferno costume design showcase at the annual Harvest Festival. The Italian Jean Fag was deeply attached to Warren and Debbie, their building ablaze, engulfed in flames. The photo of them appears in the yearbook.

My middle name is Jean but that is a whole different story. I never spent much time socializing with those off-campus strangers so I really can't say much about that. I don't remember very much about them.

Which Reminds Me

I have no idea where the idea for the Viking sketch came from, certainly not from me. I have often heard people obliquely refer to some unnamed evil blond woman who spews scrambled misinformation all over the place but I have no idea who she might be or what the original story was on that.

Which Reminds Me

I don't see how any college mail could possibly get through when you have that dreary Rose running the mailroom. There was never anything nice to say about Rose, but I dare not elaborate on that point, her family is so powerful. Rose appeared in the talent show wearing a Viking helmet with horns, and holding a long staff, and singing operatically something unintelligible. Lynda said that Rose was singing, "I forgot my words." Oh. If Lynda had not told me that I never could have guessed.

Which Reminds Me

During my second year at SCC the Musicians Guild was created mainly to organize an annual talent show. The first of the talent shows was organized that year and was quite elaborate. Only the upper class music majors and their favorites were allowed to participate in the main acts. The left-over people were herded into a small choir to sing PDQ Bach numbers directed by Sharon. Lynda told me later that there was a lawyer in the audience who, upon hearing so much copyrighted material being performed without benefit of license, charged the college with wrongful doings. He charged that the college should be paying a fee to the copyright agency, ASCII?, to cover the royalties due to the original artists who composed these popular numbers. Lynda was not clear on the nature of the settlement but said that part of the agreement was that I would be blamed for bringing along a lawyer even though I have no idea who this lawyer might be or how he got there. Lynda said that the lawyer was connected to the Cole family. Uh, well, I do know that the Cole family were close friends of my grandparents. Ed Cole at one time worked for my grandfather's plastering contractor business, before he became a traveling minister and evangelist, even before he got saved, but that is a whole different story. Who this other lawyer might be or how he might be connected to the Cole family, I would be at a complete loss to say. I certainly never discussed any such thing with any lawyer, Cole or otherwise. I would not want to be thrust into the position of having to either defend or prosecute a silly college talent show. It just wouldn't be worth it to me. I would rather pick my own battles.

Which Reminds Me

Someone is reminding me that Susie's mother was telling us about how Susie's audition for Revivaltime Singers at CBC was not successful. Susie's mother theorized that it was probably because of her weight problem that she was not able to get a singing position in the Revivaltime choir. So that was their excuse, because, you know, they do prefer the little skinny ones.

Which reminds me that we were told the story of how Judy Thomson's boyfriend rejected her because she was too fat at the time. And then she went on a diet and lost weight and found some other boyfriend who married her. But of course no one ever said that Judy can sing. She doesn't have to now.

Which Reminds Me

I only roomed with Carline for one semester. I do remember that she was dating Russ Herbert and then she I guess dumped him and was saying some negative things about him. So whatever. I don't remember either one of them now. I only remember hearing Russ singing in one of those huge recitals which include every voice student in the college and our voice teacher saying that his voice sounded hollow, as if perhaps he has a hollow leg. I do remember her saying something like that but I really don't remember him. He was just there in college like so many others.

Which Reminds Me

Someone has reminded me that the skit of Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You Babe" was performed by Sharon Whetstone and Ronald Aguilera as part of a talent show during college staged by the Musicians Guild. I don't know very much about that, just watched from the audience, so I really have nothing to add to that. You could always ask the organizers of the show, the upper class music majors who planned that. I was a sophomore that year so I really wouldn't know anything about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was so mean of me to call Loren a Loser. And yet I cannot regret that I expressed my non-interest in him. I just wasn't interested. If I said more about that I would just get myself into even deeper trouble with some meddlesome busybodies whose names are not quite clear to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely recall the existence of Amy, a psych major from Ohio who was the RA on our floor and always snapping at me. I guess I got on her nerves. Well, I am glad to be rid of Amy as I never went back to Evangel. I never liked being the brunt of Amy's anger so I am glad that she has gone somewhere, to Rosemead, to train to be one of those annoying counselors who always want me to bare my soul to them so that they can sell the information on the grapevine. It is not like counselors really care what happens to me. They just like getting paid by the hour. The money is all that Amy cares about, obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how obvious it is that David's hatred of me goes far beyond anything I ever did to deserve that. I do hope that David will be forced to eat all of his own words because it was all in his own head anyway. I never said that about her.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we all know that David devolved into nothing but a boring lawyer so don't get me started with lawyer jokes.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that if you can bear to kiss the face of a creepy weasel named David, then I suppose you are entitled to enjoy your grandchildren. I never did that. I was not that interested in David and don't care if I never hear from him ever again in this lifetime. All this yapping about David, as if I ever cared about what he does. I was expecting to enjoy my own grandchildren someday but not with any David in the picture. David is just the hired help to me, nothing more.

Which Reminds Me

It is fairly obvious that some people upstairs are thinking that my entire life is just one huge joke. So tripping me up every time I turn around may seem so very funny to you, crossing all the wires and so forth, but to me it is all just one big disaster. This explains why I am currently on strike, because the management of you basically stinks, and until someone can fix this problem, it is useless for me to try to do anything. So I am just going to sit here until the authorities make you all pay for this mess of mostly your own creation.

Which Reminds Me

There was one semester of college during which myself and a few other girls, including Lori Way, were attending a church in Dana Point. It was a beautiful, scenic drive along the coast to get there, which is almost the only thing I remember about Dana Point, because the church itself was rather dry and not really that interesting, but as I was getting a easy ride to church, that was good enough for church at the time.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do vaguely recall that Dana Cole was a college sophomore when I was a senior. We might have talked a few times but I don't remember much. Who this other trashy slut Dana might be I really couldn't say. She doesn't look anything like the Dana that I remember from college.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, did I forget that Dolly was the original roommate from hell? And what were Dolly and Cori doing behind my back that no one ever explained to me? Why would I want to go there again? I really don't remember that. Weird how these dreary people later try to pass themselves off as respectable adults, all at my expense, pretending that I were somehow responsible for their misdeeds of which I was not aware in the first place and which they never explained to me. I am only left guessing as to what their real problem might be.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember the self-absorbed Denise, always whining behind my back about how I didn't do enough to help her rocket to stardom. Everyone is supposed to feel so sorry for Denise, about how her husband made her clean motel bathrooms when he owned a small motel and did not want to hire anyone. About how she works so hard as a nurse. About how she is somehow Swedish and yet Native American, too. About how her husband dumped her and then she married someone else, a missionary kid from Africa. But he was Finnish so now she lives has to live in Finland. How he taught her bad words in Finnish without her knowing what the words meant, and then she repeated that to his mother in Finland thinking she was saying something else, and then his mother was horrified, and then how Denise told us she thought that was so funny. That was weird. Actually, it is sort of a relief not to have all those South Dakota whiners buzzing around here. Why should we care about South Dakota? They never have a thought of doing anything to help us. With those obnoxious South Dakota whiners, it's just all about them. My life is complicated enough without all of Denise's problems to worry about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, Dauna K might as well drop out of college now and stop pretending that she ever graduated with us. Plenty of people did not appreciate Dauna's busybody meddling behind the scenes then and time has not been kind to the memory of Dauna and her noxious interference. I for one do not appreciate the harassment. Someone was trying to dump me into the same bucket but it just doesn't stick to me the way it does to her. We did not know at the time that Dauna was so well linked to the Seventh Day Adventists, but now that we know that she wasn't really one of us, we are not surprised. Of what use is a Ph.D. in Bible when you operate with only half a Bible? Your elevator doesn't quite reach the top floor. You are a few bricks short of a full load. I must confess that I never had high regard for this noisome Ms. Oh, Fair-All, but I digress.

Which Reminds Me

I cannot conscientiously vow to count my chickens before they hatch. That would be running averse to all rules of common sense as well as justice. Thus we see that it would be premature for me to promise any amount of money to the various innumerable charities that so nobly provide for the needs of the poor. The list of them is long, almost endless. No one is saying that they are not doing good things, whatever the condition of their personal lives, whether well done or in disarray. Carry on, noble charity organizations, with your fundraising as usual. But stealing from Peter to pay Paul is not an equitable or fair and constructive way to handle the paperwork, which is the snag. Do you I really need to say that mingling charity work with the cause of oil futures is a bit of a mismatch? Are you clueless charity workers qualified to command the nation's strategic oil reserves? How dare you suggest that we should deplete our oil reserves now rather than save our oil futures for a rainy day! Would such meddling not precipitate the inevitable oil war long predicted by analysts? The poor we have with us always, as Jesus himself said. Yes, the demands of the poor must be weighed in the balance of fair play. In order to nobly save our strategic oil reserves for a glorious future generation, we all perhaps must sacrifice any present claim to wealth and happiness. Ah, poor me! But it's not just all about me. It's about you, too. Obviously.

Which Reminds Me

The paperwork requirements of U.S. citizenship do not necessarily require a registration for candidacy to the presidency of the United States. Not everyone wants to be bothered with the requirements of seeking the nation's highest public office, how you have to pander to every special interest while at the same time pretending to support the people's interests at every turn and kiss every baby and shake every hand, etc. etc. I can see why many people would not want to be bothered with such burdensome thoughts. For example, there is my co-worker Brenda Wilks from North Carolina. With such a surname as that, wouldn't everyone be wondering if that was her distant cousin who shot President Lincoln? What a nightmare. But I digress. I never really thought of running for president. If motherhood were dependent on a vow to raise presidential candidates, I would think that you are talking about Barbara, not me. Because certainly you could not have been talking about me.

Which Reminds Me

Once again you are reminding me of a time during college when I was walking across college. Ok, so you have a photo of me walking across the campus but your Kammera is a bit out of focus and also there is no dialogue attached. It is just a silent picture. There is nothing but a person such as myself walking across campus. I did notice Dauna standing there intently watching the doings of Warren who was sitting there talking to an unknown black guy but I did not stop to find out more about that. I just kept going because, really, it was none of my business what they were doing or talking about. I think that if I were to stop and ask questions, that would be interpreted as too intrusive and nosey, so I never stopped to ask what that was about.

Perhaps you have mistaken me for, "Oh, Ms. Fair-All." I really don't know enough about that to say more.

Which Reminds Me

So the next time that Dawn boxes herself into a corner, no one should be thinking that I am going to be there and available to help with that. I have no idea where Dawn went and what she is doing these days so there is no way that I can be expected to comment on events of which I have no knowledge. I only remember that her family belonged to a small sect known as the Plymouth Brethren who are considered somewhat strict and legalistic in the way they interpret the Bible, but not to the point of Greek Orthodox. But to each his own. You could go crazy delineating the many varieties and, anyway, we have encyclopedias to explain these shades of difference. Generally speaking, we spent the first hour of each school day in singing and Christian Bible study so there was never any question about what held our school together at the time. But later in life it is up to each individual to decide what they will do with that. I can't really get inside their heads. They have to make their own decisions in regards to life and religion, obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Oh ha ha ha! Dawn pretending to be Jewish. Dawn is no more Jewish than I am, obviously. I don't see any need to discuss a minor dispute amongst Christians in such Old Testament terms. I don't think that I need to discuss anything with Dawn. I am sorry that I interrupted their little drama but I can't undo what I said and did. All I am ever going to say is that I am sorry that I ever said anything. I just want to erase what I said and not add anything else to that. It was already dumb enough for me to say whatever I said at the time so it is rather troublesome to find that dramatists have so greatly embellished the details of those events to a point of ridiculosity. But if you are going to paying an eye for an eye, well, get ready for a big dose of nothing. There is just nothing else that you are going to get from that.

Which Reminds Me

I noticed online some talk of a possible link between the Calkins and Davenport lines. I don't know what that means. Certainly there was never any mention of that on our side of the family. I don't consider the Davenports my real-life cousins, and even if they were, the title of "cousin" is not so dear to me that I would not drop all my cousins, real or fake, in a flash if I had to choose between their insignificant feelings and opinions and my personal relationship with Christ. Not to sound mean or anything, but I like to follow the example of Christ in this regard, who said that all those who do my father's will are my brothers and sisters and cousins. So I am too busy with important matters to spend any time wrestling in the deep with the trashy dogs of Oh, R You? Matthew 12:46-50: "While He was still speaking to the crowds, behold, His mother and brothers were standing outside, seeking to speak to Him. Someone said to Him, "Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak to You." But Jesus answered the one who was telling Him and said, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother."

Which Reminds Me

Someone upstairs is confused. Just because Baker's Heidi attended the same college that I did, that does not mean that I remember a single thing about her, much less answer questions as to her doings and sayings. I only remember that she was there. Her face appears in the college yearbook, in the street theater group, but I don't remember her in any kind of personal way so I really wouldn't be able to say anything nice about her. So don't call me for references. I don't remember very much about most of those people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I recall that when I was four years old my mother and I came home from shopping and my mother told me not to tell my Dad that we got him some socks for Christmas. So when my Dad got home I said something sort of like, "Guess what! I'm not supposed to tell you that I got you socks for Christmas!" Of course I was only four or five years old at the time. I'm older now and not so prone to reveal my own personal secrets. But if you already knew that, it is probably not a secret anyway.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there never was anything nice to say about Monica, but I digress. Why should these ORU dogs be given such a loudmouth platform when they never had anything intelligent or constructive to say? There is no reason for myself to feel intimidated by this ORU garbage.

Which Reminds Me

Someone was telling me to come out, but I don't understand what that means. I cannot spend that much time outdoors with this complexion of mine living here. I would be sunburned to a crisp, which actually has happened before if I spend too much time under the sun. So obviously I cannot go out to where you are when, anyway, experience has already taught me that you are profoundly retarded and will automatically not understand even one thing that I ever said. Goodbye.

And what a shamefaced liar is this Mr. Warren who sits there in his plush palace supposedly claiming to be paying for this, the curses pronounced against poor little me. What a liar. I have not received one penny, not even any benefit, from this hifalutin back-hacking service that he promotes so highly. Just makes me wonder what they are even talking about. But then again I remember that I don't care. If I never see those cousins again in this lifetime, well, experience has taught me they don't have anything that I want anyway.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, what was that guy's name? I don't even remember his name. I don't know why the name of Greg Londot comes to mind. I don't remember one thing about Greg and do not recall him ever saying hello to me so obviously just making arrangements with someone else behind my back because you were hanging out with those guys is not going to accomplish anything or impress anyone. I feel myself completely indifferent to the existence of Greg, whether or not he is the basketball type, I really don't care, just because he has a Frenchy sounding name. I actually find it rather annoying to find myself targeted by creepy French people, as if I should care. We already have enough French, we don't need more of the same boring Frenchy stuff. After all, Mr. French was only the butler, in case you forgot.

Which Reminds Me

Maybe you could stand in the center of the gymnasium door, posing just so, and give me another chance to say that I think that you are an annoying geeky nerd. Well, I did not use so many words the first time around. I only said that I was not interested. Anyway, I didn't ask for that. You are the one who asked for it. And given that the whole thing was staged in cooperation with Cori, the roommate from hell, there is no telling how that information might have been presented on the other end of the grapevine. She can't be trusted for anything. Just because you are a friend of Cori, that does not mean that anyone else likes you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that it is not my place to say when President Kraiss' dead body is finally buried and gone and we can finally get on with the real business of expelling this vulgar Larry Schmuck. Not that I would know anything about that. You are the ones who were calling me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone is telling me that the pranksters have bound themselves to an oath of secrecy wherein their honor is bound to not talking or saying anything that might betray themselves and their fellow pranksters to the authorities. Somehow they think that they can throw the entire campus into an uproar and yet get away with protective secrecy. I was not invited to participate in the prank, thus it becomes my duty somehow to explain them to the authorities even though they never really told me very much, only something about that particularly offensive motto was Mary's, whatever that meant. So obviously they know more than they are telling me. I don't even remember the mottoes on the windshields, just silly things like "Get it Cheap" or "This one is a Lemon." That type of thing was what I saw, but of course I did not see everything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, the word "like" might be somewhat too strong to describe a politician, even one that I voted for as opposed to the alternative. It is better not to think too much about all that icky stuff these politicians have squirreled away somewhere in their personal lives. If I met them in person I might not "like" him or them at all. It is just an either-or decision, one less candidate being possibly being better or rather less terrible than another, not that any of them would ever be of any benefit to me in any kind of personal way, not that we can ever really know for sure. It was just a fleeting, temporary impression at the time of going to the ballot box, nothing personal. Who did I mention that to? Anyway, since when is my voting record any of your business?

Which Reminds Me

As I said, Beverly's in-laws are not my in-laws. But saying so does not constitute me a clone of Ann Kraiss, who was one of Larry Kraiss' cousins who attended our college for one year. They roomed together, living down the hall on the 7th floor. Beverly and Ann did not return after one year so they only remember one year's worth of stuff, not really anything that came after or what became of everybody later. Beverly and Ann perhaps continue to obsess on events of that year and persons long forgotten. After one year, Beverly and Ann returned to Illinois, the Chicago area perhaps, and did not return. I really don't remember very much about them. As I said, they were gone after one year so there is not much to say about them. Yes, I can sort of imagine that someone might say that Ann sort of resembled a witch with her dyed jet-black hair and penciled black eyebrows. Or maybe not. I really don't remember them anymore. Amazing how a supposedly high-class college president could have such trashy low-class cousins, someone is trying to say. Ummm, no comment. As I said, I really don't remember much about them. And this amazing obsession on the subject of Barbara Kraiss, a rather prickly person who was getting her college degree in the same college of which her husband was president, her son also her college classmate, thus we don't want to run afoul of her accidentally because she can go right to the top to make our lives miserable, even if they don't have their paperwork in order. I never thought of the Kraiss family as personal friends of mine, just VIPs of the college variety.