Which Reminds Me

If I were going to be in control, some Bethany heads will be on the chopping block to be sure, but as I have no control in these matters, I fail to see why I should care about the careless waste of funding that does not belong to me anyway, so whatever.

Which Reminds Me

During the time that I was rooming with Jan Green at Evangel, one day she suddenly said to me that I probably am condemning her because she dyes her hair an auburn color. Actually, the thought had not occurred to me, nor did the significance of the Auburn policy register any trigger in my brain, so I felt myself somewhat indifferent to the matter. The fact that my hair actually is a somewhat auburn color naturally, a very dark shade of auburn, probably makes her jealous of my beauteous aura, but no, that's not exactly what I said. I don't remember very much about that. I just didn't seem very important at the time.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if only all my relatives could be disposed of and kept hidden in the background so that no one in the public arena would notice them and also they would not be allowed to interfere with my brilliant endeavors. How could I possibly succeed with all these country bumpkin cousins making a huge mess of everything? I don't mean to insult anyone but this whole situation is so ridiculous.

Which Reminds Me

When I was in high school applying for college, our friend Sharon Turner from Nebraska recommended that I ask to live on a certain dorm floor, where she had previously lived. So I did that, but I am not so sure, knowing what I know now, that it was a good idea to accept any recommendation from Sharon. That was really not a good way to start college life, getting kicked around by a pack of vicious Green prairie dogs.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I don't know why during college it never occurred to me to ask whether Nancy Nelson, who was Lori Way's roommate, was a cousin or kin to Matt Nelson, another college student. Why would I bother to ask such an insignificant question, assuming the thought had ever crossed my mind, which it had not. And anyway, it is something of a moot point in this day and age. About 200 years ago Admiral Nelson helped Europe subdue to the tyrant Napoleon, but in the present day and age Mr. Nelson is married to Napoleon's ugly stepsister, so he doesn't represent anything of significance in terms of world politics in the global arena, that I should be called upon to say something about that. Anyway, Matt married Sheryl Ganksy, remembered mainly as a waitress at Marie Callender's restaurant, and I see they live in Seattle now. Oh, I didn't know that. And you are also expecting me to make some comparisons to that other Cheryl, who died at age 12? That would be impossible due to dire prohibitions against any communication with the dead. We might see them again in the great blue yonder but until then we are sort of busy with this command to occupy until he comes.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to vaguely remember that someone was accusing me of asking about the money but that is just a complete lie. I don't know even have a starting point clue to give you on that score. Who exactly is making this accusation? What money? Huh? I just have no idea what they are talking about.

Which Reminds Me

I really don't know very much about Bill. You must have mistaken me for someone else. I really can't say very much about him.

Which Reminds Me

When I was living in California at one time I applied for a job with the Ed Cole ministries organization, a job which I later declined to accept, and while there I said hello to Nancy Nelson, who I remembered from college as being Lori Way's roommate. Nancy was working there and she also told me that Debbie Boone's sister worked in the office next door. So that was interesting,

Which Reminds Me

Yes, for what do we need another Bethany College, just to train more tarty farty clones of Miss Murphy, thus perpetuating the follies of the disastrous Murphy's Law, so carelessly funded by the Binner riff-raff? No, I think we are all disgusted to hear more about the insidious activities of your tarty farty NoCal hoes. In my opinion, your hideous Green tarty farty Nanobutt is overdue for a serious flogging, but of course nobody cares what I think about anything. I don't dare say what I think about that.

We are fortunate that God does not give us what we deserve because otherwise we would just all be dead.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, during high school, that was nice of Gail Reese, wife of Baptist missionary Jerry Reese, to invite us, my sister and I, to participate in a group sewing project. We were to sew each of us a pair of Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls. We met a few times at the Reese's home where we cut out the pieces and partly sewed them. Time was growing short at the end of the school year as we were preparing to leave the country. Mrs. Reese dropped off at our house a box of stuffing, crumbly plastic foam, so we stuffed our pieces, doll arms and legs and body and head, until we ran out of stuffing, and had nothing left to send back for them to use. Sorry but we have to leave the country now. They will just have to find more stuffing somewhere else to finish their dolls. For a long time I had those doll pieces stored away somewhere in a box but without the pattern and instructions it would be hard for me to continue that. Raggedy Ann is a fictional character who appears in children's storybooks, some of which I had read at age 10 or 11.

Coincidentally, I can't remember whether Ann Campbell was there at the Reeses' house. Anyway, I don't remember anyone saying anything about Ann, whether or not she was invited or why. It wouldn't be appropriate to ask something about that even if the thought had occurred to me, which it hadn't.

Oh, was there some other meaning to the sewing project that someone forgot to tell me? Ann is so incredibly vain she probably thinks this song is about her. I often am not invited to parties and if I let that bother me I would just cry, but sometimes parties are really not that important.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it was sort of ludicrous and weird to hear Cori Nipper pretending to fire me. I was never an employee of her, I absolutely refuse to take orders from that foul-mouthed District hoe and I also receive no salary or other monetary compensation from her and her family so they have no place to be firing me. It's just so weird that anyone would take seriously the idiotic rantings of Cori. She gets nothing, no prize for behaving so badly. And anyway, I quit, so nothing that Cori said matters in the least.

Which Reminds Me

It does seem strange that due to my time at Evangel, having roomed with Jan Green for about three months before she was expelled for some unknown reason, there continues to be a layer of icky Green slime all over my things. I was rather relieved to be rid of Jan although I wasn't quite sure how that happened. She was just suddenly gone. Her things were gone and the room window and the door wide open with fresh air blowing through which was sort of nice.

Which Reminds Me

During my first year at SCC I went on a date with Carlos Rodriguez, who took me to see the movie "Star Wars." But aren't movies against the college rules? But it was a date so perhaps that makes it OK to say yes? And then I have this completely boring Mexican guy following me around campus and finally I finished giving him the brush off so I probably should have said no to start with. And then later Cori keeps asking me about Carlos and I gave whatever excuse, but anyway Cori is always such whiney nuisance, not to be mean, just one more reason to drop the wicked Evans riff-raff out the window.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely recall that when I was studying journalism I wrote an article which was published in the student newspaper about the problem of the health care system and how it does function properly, but then again there is the problem of the uninsured and how the insurance companies are often called upon to cover the costs of the uninsured who appear in the emergency room in dire condition and it would be a violation of the Hippocratical oath for the doctors and medical professionals not to treat them, to just leave them sitting there to die, so yes the health care system certainly is a problematic thing with no easy answers.

Someone later added some other spin to the health care question but I can't quite understand how that happened or why.

Anyway, Jesus said, "The poor you have with you always."

Which Reminds Me

When I was born, or shortly before, when was my parents were deciding what to name me, the other choice of name, which was rejected, was Nancy. Thus, there is no Nancy in my family. The name of Nancy is just one of those hypotheticals that never actually happened. There was no twin to occupy the name of Nancy. There was just me, Candi. I did enjoy reading the Nancy Drew books but Nancy is actually just a fictional character with no place in reality.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I probably should have issued a stern and strong warning against Lori Kelderman at the time that she told me the story about her affair with Tom, a married man. His wife Cindy had apparently shut him out of her life, or at least that is what Lori said that Tom said about Cindy. And yet am I not already in deep do-do from having reprimanded Loren's trashy hoe Alanna Popineau? Oh, but Loren did not marry her because she had an affair with that other guy, what's-his-name. And then they expect me to minister to these garbage people. Ridiculous. I would rather move across country than to stay and get better acquainted with the Popineau's peasant trash following. The more I learn about them, the more I am inclined to depart. I am in trouble if I say something or if I don't say something, either way. And besides, Lori and Tom are military skunks. Military people apparently have very low moral standards, at least from what I have seen of them, so I declined Lori's attempt to recruit me into the military. Ick!

Which Reminds Me

There is nothing of a personal nature that I would want to discuss with the nasty vicious bimbos of Michigan. However, it is weird how these Michigan riff-raff seem to gravitate nearby even though I have no connection whatever to Michigan. There was Rhonda, Pam, Linda, then Lori Kelderman and so forth. I don't want to be hearing more about your Michigan soap opera. Enough of that. You can find my address in the phone book if you want to send along my well-earned paycheck. Otherwise, I really couldn't care less about Michigan.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to remember that Ireland already has a Queen and her name is Elizabeth. So there is nothing of interest worth saying about the governance of Ireland, in particular the fate of its redhaired housemaids and washerwomen, nor any reason for myself to be represented in the public arena by the horridly nasty filthy rich Kennedy girls of New York. It would be much easier for me to just kill myself than to entangle myself with such horribly nasty rich people, needless to say. Besides which, I am not Irish. But nobody asked me that. They just jump to these ridiculous conclusions and start screaming a pack of ridiculous lies based on nothing. There is just nothing to it.

Which Reminds Me

You obviously have mistaken me for some other person and I cannot quite figure out who that might be because I certainly did not know anything about all this stuff. The easy thing to do would be to just play along for a short while and let you live with your mistake but conscience directs me rather to provide a correction, to make sure that you are brought to a renewed understanding that you are actually not talking to me. You are addressing some other person. You are talking to someone but it is not clear to me who that would be.

Living in Central America, a white person among a sea of browns, it often occurs that these brown people mistakenly imagine that any white person is extremely wealthy and affluent and thus in bargaining in the marketplace they are reluctant to lower the price. The bid is automatically set higher when they see the white person is the buyer. On one occasion we had our brown friend Conchi bargaining on something on our behalf but I really don't think it was worth it just to buy some piece of junk, to save ourselves a few pennies. I would rather just bargain for myself. I wouldn't want to be mistaken for that some Mayan brownie. I wouldn't be able to understand their issues or answer for them so the reverse is likewise true. (But it was an interesting experiment in how differently these primitives behave towards white people.)

Which Reminds Me

That was quite rude of you to come and scream something about voodoo needles and how you are going to torture me in that cruel Caribbean way of yours. All the more the reason for us to dump you in that garbage basket in which we dumped that ridiculous Ann " Campbell's soup can." We are all better off with vicious Ann exiled somewhere up above the Arctic Circle.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, one would think, theoretically, that we should at least befriend the persons on our left and right hands in the high school classroom. However, when it becomes obvious that some conspiracy is afoot to exclude me from society so that they can sit back and laugh at me floundering about trying to fill in the blanks, a very intentional and deliberate plot on their part, I can only pray that I be excused from this onerous and undignified social duty which involves futile attempts to bestow unearned praises upon them. Thank you. Amen.

Which Reminds Me

My parents have many photos of Yucatan, including the ruins of the ancient Mayan civilization. There is a ball court there where the ancient Mayans played ball. It is hard for us to imagine in these modern times how they managed to throw the ball through that small hole and/or loop protruding from the wall on the left side. Yes, but then golf also seems complicated to me. I suppose that with proper training at an early age you might be able to learn how to do that, but I am much too old for that now, not to mention that the ball court is in ruins now. There could be aspects of he Mayan game that we would prefer to forget. Is the loser then killed as a human sacrifice? That wouldn't be appropriate.

Which Reminds Me

We see that the Kolbrin book says that persons who fail to get married are not held in high esteem. Yes, well, even so, I don't care that much about my esteem quotient. There are some things that I would not want to do for neither love nor money. So that doesn't mean very much.

Which Reminds Me

We are constantly amazed at your intimate familiarity with the tawdry affairs of Miss Murphy. She was my fourth grade teacher but at that time she was single and boarded with a family of local primitives. I can't quite remember who they were. I only saw them once when Miss Murphy held a sleepover for the girls of our class. She sent us home afterward with a black kitten which had gotten stranded outside her window somehow in the early morning. We named the cat "Spooky" because it was black. Several years later she returned with her husband, that creepy weird millionaire from
Colorado whom she had stolen from his wife. It is nice of the locals to allow them to live there in exile so that we don't have to listen to their tragic soap opera on a regular basis.

Which Reminds Me

THere seems to be some confusion about high school. Carmen is no friend of mine. That is a fiction invented by Rosanne Murphy. It is a bit awkward that I never get a chance to explain that actually I rather dislike Carmen but it wouldn´t be nice to talk about that. It would be rude to try to find all those unspoken words.

Which Reminds Me

Why all this nonsense about Ulises? Wasn't he Carmen's boyfriend during high school? His last name, Flores, means Flowers. But he died during his first year of college so there is nothing else to say about him.

Which Reminds Me

It is true that there are some photos of the Yucatan Peninsula in our family photo collection. My parents visited there in the early 1960s but that was before they became missionaries to El Salvador. During their few days in the Yucatan, they visited with their friend Harley Veil, who is probably no longer living at this advanced time. He was reportedly a unique person but I don't remember if I ever actually met him so it is hard for us to imagine what it might be like to spend the rest of your life amongst the Mayan peoples of Mexico, having to adapt your message to their Mayan laws and culture in that extremely legalistic way of theirs. We were only tourists passing through, never having really lived in Texas, so we really cannot imagine the backyard motivations behind this odd emphasis on the Mayan legal system. We imagine that our U.S. citizenship overrides any Mayan legal snafus, no need to belabor the point, although I really can't speak for some of my high school classmates who may be illegally pretending to be the law's koalbringers. No, I am no in Texas and I don't work for the Mayans.

Which Reminds Me

One year at college we were maybe at a retreat or some other type of prayer meeting near the beginning of the school year and during some kind of prayer meeting of small groups there were some girls having an emotional time crying and hugging each other and probably praying. It was very crowded there and I overheard Joe Gaffney making some comments about all these dikes, in particular referring to Charlotte and her pack of friends because she was sort of overwrought crying and hugging all her friends. I overheard that because we were all crowded standing on top of each other and I happened to be within earshot of Joe, not because I ever had any conversation with Joe. Later, Dauna K. asked me if I remembered something about that and I said that actually yes I do remember overhearing Joe's commentary. Not that Joe's opinion matters very much. Joe is a sort of geeky redneck whose braggadocious bluster was well known on campus. So? Why are we still talking abut that?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that I saw the movie "Star Wars" during college, and the "force" was presented there in fictional narrative format with multitudinous special effects. Unfortunately, the "force" of science fiction movies is often an vaguely amoral notion of strength or might makes right, not really a matter of good vs. evil. And if the evil has more brute force than the good, and the good is virtuous by means of submission or service, what then? These simplistic scenarios are entertaining on the TV screen yet often fail to hit the mark due to extreme irrelevancy, thus not eliciting any meaningful comment from the unconnected audience member sitting in front of the family room TV set.

Which Reminds Me

When the maravedí first appeared in the 10th century A.D. it was a gold coin and based on an Arabian currency system, but as time went on the amount of gold in the coin was reduced. Later the maravedí was became a silver coin and much later of copper, minted in the New World at Santo Domingo and was finally discontinued in 1847.

Which Reminds Me

One day during high school our Spanish teacher was talking about the voyage of Christopher Columbus, in which the Italian adventurer sailed forth across the Atlantic Ocean in three small boats and discovered the New World, an expedition commissioned by the Spanish monarchs Ferdinand and Isabella, and accounted for in maravedís, a Spanish coin of relatively small unitary value. But great things may be found in small denominations as well as large ones, which is, yes, perhaps as good a point to make as any. Why are we talking about this?

Whch Remnds Me

"Ho ho ho!" Are those the words of jolly Santa Claus?

Or is that a truncated alliteration of a translation of a word that was commonly on the lips of our Spanish male classmates during high school? The Spanish word refers to a woman of ill repute. On first glance it is not apparent whom they are talking about. The word is spoken into the air, not directed at any particular person present. The context seems to be entirely absent. So why are these Spanish men so obsessed with this concept, repeating the word constantly and so reflexively on a regular basis in a variety of circumstances of frustration or anger that would seem irrelevant to the actual meaning of the word.

I heard online that the Whitaker twins were planning make some huge demonstration about that. Well, fine, let's let the Whitaker twins go right ahead and explain what they are wanting to do about that. Because they did not ask my consent to participate in that, and was not properly informed, I will not be available to help them with that.

If I were a true racist I would have to explain about how these brown people are an inferior breed of primitive animal whose lack of internal impulse control makes them poor candidates for advancement. They may prosper well enough in a closed ecosystem of planetary isolation, but some of the finer points of Western Civilization could be lost in Spanish translation.

But that would be such a mean and racist thing to say, and would create a huge backlash problem for myself only if I participated in the Whitaker experiment. So no, I never said any such thing. You are only dreaming if you think that I said something about that. No, I am not your mother. I never claimed responsibility for your ignorant sputterings.

Which Reminds Me

What's next? Well, next we will see Queen Elizabeth making her appearance to explain that actually she herself is a descendant of Catharine via Mary so this whole tempest in a teapot is irrelevant. Why all this much ado about nothing? Resurrecting Sir Thomas More at this late date would be a moot point. Nothing would change because Elizabeth claims a more Germanic than Spanish line of descent, although she has some of that also. Ok, so how dare you question the queen's legal standing? Perhaps you prefer to build a system in which legal standing matters not. You did not take seriously the matter of legal standing so why should we care now that you are all drowning in the tartareous swamp lands? Whatever.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that my grandfather knew something about Sir Thomas More, who is supposedly one of our ancestors although I am not exactly sure how that could be true. I really don't see the connection but who am I to argue with Ancestry.com's old "Famous Relatives" button? It also turned up Geoffrey Chaucer. Anyway, Thomas More was the famous English lawyer who lost his head because he made the effort to develop some elaborate legal arguments designed to prevent Henry VIII from divorcing his first wife Catherine. It was a wasted effort due to that thorny truth that the King's will is the law, at least in some cases, especially such personal issues as marriage and divorce. So who wants the thankless job of reviving Thomas More's arguments on Catherine's behalf, doubtless to the benefit mostly of Spain, a dry place of very hot weather. Yes, why would I ever talk about that?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that there really ought to be some way of apologizing for the bad behavior of these overly bellicose nasty Italian witches who so badly represent our U.S. interests. How can you pretend to promote our American greatness when you are so apologetic of brilliant me and so utterly unable to reflect upon your own flagrant errors of such disastrous consequence throughout the centuries. With you it is just all a ying-yang game of you versus me. Well, guess what, I don't see it that way. But of course I can't really talk about that. It would not be wise for me to talk about that.

Which Reminds Me

I am really not interested in hearing more about Libby's Puerto Rican junk. Not to be mean but I really couldn't care less about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is hard for me to understand the mysterious events of WWII surrounding the death of Baptist missionary John Birch in China, much less why there is still an organization existing to represent something about that, but this is a free country and people are free to organize various groups and associations to advocate stuff about China, whatever that meant.

Which Reminds Me

I really must say that I had no idea that Libby was so fascinated and preoccupied with thoughts of Javier. I wasn't thinking about Javier at all. But of course Libby lives in a parallel universe so it is hard for us to understand what Libby is talking about. We just never go there.

Which Reminds Me

I vaguely remember that someone was trying to involve me in a medical conflict, something about aspirin brands, do I prefer the Bayer or the Johnson & Johnson brand of aspirin? Truth be told I feel entirely neutral on the subject of aspirin. I am not opposed to the use of the occasional aspirin in case of mild headache. However, to me the generic brand will do the job. I see no need for myself to be investigating the finer points of aspirin branding.

Which Reminds Me

Something about my grandmother's name? What a rude way you have of insulting my grandmother! I find your intimate familiarity with the Bible of Witchcraft astonishing but even so a title to the barren weedy wastelands is a useless tool.

Which Reminds Me

Truth be told, I never had any personal conversation with the Whitakers. It would be very difficult for someone of my appearance to communicate with such blondies whose entire worldview is based mainly on the fiction of "Alice in Wonderland." There is always the danger of finding myself portrayed as that cardboard character, the Queen of Hearts, an inconvenient fiction of no benefit to me. So it is better and more judicious to carefully work around and avoid the Pat and Michelle blondies whenever possible, which is always possible, because they are completely clueless about me and live in some alternate reality to which I have no likewise have no clues. I live in Christ, not in Pat or Michelle or Libby.

Which Reminds Me

It is very strange, this selective amnesia of yours. Wasn't that you screaming in my face, claiming yourself to be the Medusa who would be coming at me in a hundred faces to drive me crazy? And do I dare to chop off all your heads? And now you are pretending that you never said that. Hmm... Who was that? The names all blur together in my mind. I can't quite remember who said that.

Which Reminds Me

In retrospect, there is really nothing of a personal nature that I would want to discuss with some clueless co-worker and/or classmate. Why do these people imagine that I am going to give "back" to them, and then they are going to smash my face by divulging all my secrets to the outer world? Actually, that is not exactly how things are going to happen. Actually, I am not so blind to their snarky plotting as to be inspired to trust them all that much. Actually, I am not giving them anything important, just whatever unimportant trivia may be necessary to get along in the classroom or workplace, so their snarky little scheme has not really so much fuel as to propel them to such elevated heights of backstabbing traitorhood as they seem to imagine. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is so sad how Superman always has to worry and be concerned about encountering that hazardous material known as Kryptonite, reportedly of a greenish hue and/or color, which, if he comes into contact with that, would strip away his super powers and render him a regular defenseless mortal such as the rest of us. Of course, to us mortals Kryptonite is a neutral thing. It doesn't seem to do anything to us so we might not have noticed that. It is apparently only Superman who has to work around the Kryptonite problem.

Which Reminds Me

When our cousin David came to visit us in Southern California his suitcase was half full of comic books, so we enjoyed reading about the adventures of Superman, Supergirl, etc. Thus, in our minds, the story of David tends to reinforce in our minds lessons about the dangers of Kryptonite.

Which Reminds Me

One of the few things that I do remember about David is that he was fond of watching on TV shows such as "The Dark Side" or "Dark Shadows" or that type of occult thing. Which was perhaps sadly an omen of not good things to come, because obsessing on horror is not really very healthy. You really need a lot of prayer to get all that icky stuff out of your head.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, are you a friend of my late cousin David? Then I probably, most assuredly am not of aware of your existence. I never knew very much about his life. I was his cousin, not the girl next door. Needless to say.