Which Reminds Me

And if I wanted a Prairie Home Companion I could always go to a bookstore and by something written by that former disciple of the Plymouth Brethren, which is coincidentally the same sect to which a missionary family belonged in El Salvador, whose children also attended our school. But beyond school there is nothing else that I can say about them. I almost never listen to public radio and am not very fond of those frozen states of mind produced by Minnesota.

Which Reminds Me

Which begs the question, how can I confess to something that never happened?

The only final outcome would be the spectacle of Joan of Arc burning at the stake.

And even so, my name is not Joan nor do I have much idea of what that was all about.

But for the sake of having some body to burn at the stake, perhaps you could, I don't know, maybe pour gasoline to a lighted match.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that my aunt once had a carpet cleaning service which she called "Rub-A-Dub-Dub," which is somehow reminiscent of three men in a tub.

Also, in 10th grade I once did an oral report on Jonathan Swift's 'Gulliver's Travels.'

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I never drank Tab. Tasted it once and did not like it.

Also, what documents are you looking for? I don't have any documents worth mentioning.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I did notice that in Chapter 5 Mr. Jeronimo receives the calling card of his new neighbors across the street, which is brought to him by a servant. There he reads there the names of Rosita and Victor. Yes, how quaint to hear a mention of the ancient custom of calling cards of which we often see references in books and movies of ancient times. Nowadays the calling card has fallen out of use for private use, perhaps because of the invention of the telegraph and telephone and now email. I don't know whether some people in some rarefied strata of high society still do that, but we here in middle- to low-class America never were much convinced that we need calling cards. The only relic of that is the business card which is often supplied by employers, and lists your name, company and job position so that persons receiving it will understand with what authority you are calling upon us and have an idea of what you might be able to do for us. If you are self-employed you could have your own business cards printed at various places, if you want to do that, and give yourself any job title that you may think appropriate. However, I have not felt a need to do that as of yet given the cost of printing not seeming worth the effort of calling on you in such a formal way just to shoot the breeze. If you have something to say, there are telephones and emails for that purpose. Or if you come to the house, we might think that you belong to a cult and not want to let you inside, or else maybe you are one of those tree trimming and lawn service companies or real estate agents that are always dropping off their cards at the front door.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, but my brain is not for sale. You will pay me for not saying more about that but that does not mean that I would tolerate them poking around in my personal life. Thus I will need to evacuate the planet. Do whatever you want. I really don't care what they do. I don't want them to be bothering me. I am leaving. Just you remember that you can't take it with you. A worthless hole in the ground is just not that important compared to the things of eternity. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

All of which begs the question of how stupid can I get that you would finally would put some real money in my bank account to make sure that I keep my mouth shut and never have to say anything more about that so that you don't have to listen to what you don't to hear? But I cannot play that game and win it. I am really too smart to stoop that low to beg for my supper. Even so, that said, I really could use some money to pay for my life. I cannot just go and live in a convent. I don't feel that spiritual, and also I am not Catholic, so that wouldn't make any sense for me to go there. I still have to get a job and pay for my life. 

Or else I could just kill myself. But that would be so messy and wrong.

So where is my paycheck?

Someone is angling to get some commentary about Bill's bimbos but I don't know one thing about that. You would have to get that from somewhere else. I never had any personal connection to Bill's bimbos, but you could always ask Sue Izzo. She probably knows more about that than I do.

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So are you aturrullado or are you atolondrado? Either way, it does seem a bit odd for you to be that angry about the use of a verbal descriptions of beautiful mountain landscape scenery that you would resort to such an extreme legal remedy. These verbal redundancies can be a bit annoying to be sure, but the courthouse is really not a place to resolve such an insignificant matter of elevator talk.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am certain that Jim Lori did not ask me out. He was saying some weird things hinting about something, which confused my judgment momentarily, so I reported this to Michelle, who at the time was supposed to be his girlfriend and should know that he is being too flirty with me. But Michelle twisted that into some other thing which just goes to show how annoying are these lowly peasants. Another reason to be rid of them all.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we cannot all help but wonder why the vicious nasties of Panama get a special deal in which they get a special license to run around screaming and yelling and saying all kinds of mean and nasty things and behaving like 3-year-olds. If I behaved that way I would be in so much trouble, and nothing ever happens to them. They did have some big guns in Panama, even tough a much smaller work there, but it is hard for us to remember now why we ever thought they were friends of ours. I really cannot remember who they were.

Which Reminds Me

One day at college in California, Terry called me his heifer. I was a bit annoyed with that because I am actually NOT a cow. Cows are good for eating, but not me. I am not a cow to be led to the slaughterhouse for the amusement of Terry. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Sometimes my imagination gets too carried away with me. I almost thought that I hard Dave Godwin sneering disdainfully at me. But I was probably just imagining something.

Which Reminds Me

Speaking of Jim, I wonder whatever happened to that blithering idiot Jim Lori from the old church. I heard that he got married and moved to New York. That is the sum total of everything that I know about Jim, who was formerly a co-worker or something of Michelle. There is no reason to care now or to be reminded of the idiotic rantings of Jim.

Which Reminds Me

Which makes me wonder who originally said that. Because you are always rejiggering things trying to make those words come out of my mouth. And yet I do not recall saying that originally. Which makes me wonder who originally said that stuff. Because I only know it wasn't me. And who is this perfect person who has never said anything that they did not regret later? Even so, amazing how protective you are of your little beasties that you preventitatively berate us for something that we had not thought of saying. And yet if you are so expectant of someone saying that, perhaps someone actually did say that. Which leaves only the question of who did say that, although I only know that it was not me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how well I remember during 10th grade, how Joan, who sat directly in front of me in the alphabetical order of things, was talking to Miss Marken about her plan to become an FBI agent. I never really heard whether she actually tried to do that or whether it was just something that she was talking about in 10th grade. I really have nothing to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Personally, I would not want to have my personal happiness dependent on the shifting winds of politicians and their politically constituentated opinions. One can never tell when one's own personal interests might somehow cross paths, unpleasantly, with the political agenda of some unknown person whom we never met, and politicians only care about whatever their own constituents want, which may or may not concur with what you want.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does blur the picture to have all of these KGB agents poking around behind my back. How can I keep them from making a mess of everything when everyone completely accepts them and prefers them over me and everyone is always pretending that they are something important without ever explaining what they really are. I did  not know that they were really at the time that they were really from the KGB. They protest so loudly about nothing much.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely noticed that you are trying to throw me to these Italian mafia trash con artist dogs for some inexplicable reason. Whatever. It is not actually possible for me to communicate with persons who are playing various angles behind my back at every step of the way. Why should I care about what they do in their spare time? I have learned by experience that I cannot believe one thing that they say, I cannot trust one thing that they do, and thus, I really must evacuate this planet eventually in search of another time and another place where things are not so incredibly twisted beyond all recognition that I cannot even answer that because I have no idea what you are talking about. I am insulted.

Which Reminds Me

I never had any access to secret information so I have a hard time understanding why some people would ever accuse me of leaking something. These books are all available free to the public at any library, to anyone who would want to go there, if such a thought would ever happen to cross your mind. Yes, I did hear the story about the guy who learned how to assemble a nuclear bomb that way but, yes, who would ever think of such a thing, much less want to do that? 

Which Reminds Me

I cannot imagine there being anything that I would need to discuss with Professor De Paul. He really won't need me for anything. So why all of this De-emphasis?

Which Reminds Me

I think, therefore I am, as the famous philosopher has said. Whether or not I ever get to disburden myself on television is not so important as this simple yet meaningful point: I think, therefore I am. Whether or not you are really "Guilty" as charged or just like to torment yourself with these weirdly obsessive paranoid thoughts imagining that everyone is accusing you of something, is really not my problem. Oh, did you think that everything was just all about you? What if we actually were not thinking about you at all? Huh?

Which Reminds Me

I had never heard of this "Roca-Celis" book until a couple of weeks ago, so it is hard for me to understand why I am supposed to feel sorry for this pack of con artists who somehow derive some claims of attachment to it. All of the events described in the book happened in the 19th century and thus none of the people involved could possibly be alive today to explain to us what really happened. There is nothing but documents and hearsay to explain that, and even so, that has nothing to do with my personal life. The courts of every nation are full of strange and weird cases and truth is often stranger than fiction. But these are distractions that take our focus away from what really matters in terms of life and service. We must pick our battles wisely and not allow ourselves to be distracted by every little thing that the con artists might want to throw at us.

Which Reminds Me

Why Tom, you F-bomb idiot, why so intent on kissing Uncle Sam? You weren't seriously expecting me to kiss Sister Jane? Ick! They will round off your pointy edges. You don't get points by killing me to promote your own sister. Needless to say. 

Which Reminds Me

I did not mean to hurt your feelings by getting stuck in traffic. Also, maybe the photographer was confused, not realizing that I had scheduled his session separately, although I cannot remember that clearly now, whether or not that was true. But I never get a chance to explain anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember when I was in high school in El Salvador, we sometimes visited the house of the Bueno family, and whenever we were there, we two girls, my sister and I, were sometimes waylaid by their two maids, Rosita and Chavelita, who liked to chatter and ask us how we were doing and other items of chit-chat. One day Rosita asked me to go into her room to look at that and so I did that and I saw their simple room with a simple bed and almost nothing else because they are at work. They keep their personal lives elsewhere. Yes, I suppose that I could say something similar. I also live elsewhere than with Rosita and the Bueno family.

Rosita later married a white man and moved to the U.S. and I imagine that she probably lives to this day somewhere in California although I cannot remember her last name or anything else about her personal life.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not mind an occasional game of binary code ping pong, but we already know very well that you cannot return my special spin balls that my father taught me how to do, even if mine are only halfway spun, you can lunge and throw your body across the table and still not be able to return the ball, while your slams are mostly out of bounds and I find myself spending a lot of time retrieving the balls that you launched into some far corner of the room. Thus, you are not by me a chosen opponent for ping pong games. And just taking an axe to the ping pong table does not solve this problem. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Many years ago during school I was working for three months at a telemarketing company. I was laid off or fired at three months because I could not meet the sales quota. But while I was there a man approached me and was trying to sell me a crystal. But actually his sales pitch was that the crystal was to be considered an energy source, a power source, with a calming effect. Ok, sorry if I was too dismissive in my refusal to purchase but even if it had been a matter of jewelry or decorative paperweight, still I could not afford too buy that at the time.

More recently I have seen a documentary on the 12 crystal quartz skulls, so exquisitely and precisely fashioned as if impossible to be made by human hand, and the theory that someday a computer interface might be able to extract data from the quartz crystals. Yes, how very interesting. Even so, I do not have access to the technology to extract the data from that, if data there be.

How odd that so many people know about this. I heard even Ed online disparaging me for that, although he was not my telemarketing supervisor, and then I heard that he is now a New Age guru living in Virginia Beach.

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Yes, now I remember, it was Linda Seas who was seen at the fair with Kathy SanGio's boyfriend. Kathy was talking about that in the girls' bathroom, surrounded by her friends. I happened to be in the bathroom at the time and overheard something about that. As I walked out of the bathroom, lo and behold there was Kathy's boyfriend standing right outside the door. Yes, I suppose that does make you wonder what he overheard. Even so, I don't know why you would expect me to comment further. Just because we attended the same high school, that does not mean that I have any personal connection to those people, that I should be required to repeat this same boring story so many millions of times. There is really nothing else for me to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing that you covenanted with the Baptists and you traded me for Linda Cease, whoever she was, so don't act so surprised now when you discover see that the miracles cease. You did that to yourself. Linda Cease is all you get.

Which Reminds Me

Not needful of explanation is the children's game of "Tag" in which, when one person is tagged as "It," everyone runs away from him or her, and the "It" person must run around trying to tag someone as the next "It." Hide and Go Seek is a variant of this game. Which begs the question, who is "It"? I am an adult now so I do not participate in these childish games of "It." You will need to figure out your own "It" identities without me. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how well I remember the high school assembly where the Whitaker girls played their guitars and sang "Teach Your Children," a song by Seals and Crofts, also known for that song, "We May Never Pass This Way Again." They performed very well on stage although in other respects there is nothing nice that we can think of to say about them. Oh, did you mistake me for one of them? Perhaps you are a clone of Patty Allwood. All white people look the same to Patty Allwood. You are so utterly clueless you probably think that all white people know how to play the guitar.

Which Reminds Me

You have a lot of nerve, who are you to lecture me on the Pentecostal distinctives, I, the daughter of an AG minister, one who was healed myself as a baby although I was too young to remember that, it was mainly the faith of my parents but I doubt not the story as told, I who was dedicated to the Christian faith in an AG church, graduated from an AG college, have a theology degree from an AG college, how dare you lecture me on Pentecostal matters, you, who have seemingly forgotten your own father's name, you who have covenanted deceitfully behind my back with those pathetic Baptist dogs and Whittling witches. You are nobody to be telling me what's what. And your name was?

Which Reminds Me

I have never been a huge fan of the Boston Red Sox, but I do agree that they deserve their fair shot at winning just like everybody else.

Coincidentally, I heard that Rachel Balius now lives in Boston area. She probably makes good money as a high-level nurse in medical research, having graduated from the Cox nursing school. Even so, I am not envious of persons who have to work in the tediously boring medical profession. I am so bored of this medical overkill. It was bad enough hearing my sister, who is a nurse, and other nurse friends telling their unspeakable and unrepeatable medical jokes and case stories. Need I say more?

Which Reminds Me

I bought my first pair of Birkenstocks during college, at the South Coast Plaza shopping mall in Costa Mesa, Calif. I went shopping there with some girls from college although I can't quite remember who.

Which Reminds Me

Terry Benner attended the same high school that I did, but at a later time, not while I was there. Terry said something about being ostracized by them but I did not get all of the details of that. I really do not understand what Terry's problem is.

Which Reminds Me

You weren't seriously expecting me to write a book about the miseries of high school, thus to celebrate those vicious people who snubbed me throughout high school. No, you couldn't be seriously expecting to do that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was a brief discussion how the definition of the word 'slut' which may be found in most any English dictionary, a word that has a double meaning, a double-edge sword if you will. And if that bothers you, if that is a game that you cannot win, then fall on your own sword, you—well, I am not going to say it, if the shoe fits ....

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I thought I heard online that Patricia has some Banana Republic items that she wants to transfer to a United States market, whatever that was about. Of course, you cannot always believe what you hear online. And why would the United States people want to do that to themselves? Well, truth is stranger than fiction.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why all of this chatter about Carol Long? I worked for Carol for a couple of years and then I left and that was that. A few years later I heard that I was replaced by two gopher people to do all of Carol's copious amount of paper handling: memo typing and filing, dictation, photocopying, etc. I also heard that Carol had been fired by Bob. Why? All that I heard was that she had a plan for the publishing company which involved prominently a promotion for herself to a higher executive level. Bob or Rob do not want to hear any more about these ideas of Carol so they fired her. After that she got a great job working for the telephone company, which entailed a move to up north somewhere. That is the last that anyone here has ever heard of Carol. So? I really do not fit into this Long box. There is no place for me there.

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Yes, it is hard for us to understand why you are so fascinated with the dull and boring broomstick Kraiss family. Now that their father/uncle is out of the presidency, it is all a downhill slope for those really not-so-high-class bores. Personally, I would prefer not to be reminded over and over again, ad nauseam, of the events and persons of the first year that I attended SCC, which was the only year that Larry's two cousins, Beverly Kraiss and Ann Kraiss, from Chicago, were there at the college and lived down the hall from me on the seventh floor. While that is pretty much the only thing that they can remember about SCC, I have other memories of other things that they really would not be able to understand.