Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward, this Richard Declined pretending to be related to us. He is already so loaded with bookoo bucks from Beverly Hills, and now he wants to steal my portion, too, as if I somehow do not deserve what I am getting. And if you go down that road, disinheriting people for this or that mistake, there will be no one to defend you when the Marxists and the Muslims come for your stuff, too. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, my grandfather was a McClellan, and there is even a book about the family. I believe that mention is made somewhere, in the book or elsewhere, of the possibility of some distant family connection to the Civil War general, George McClellan. However, he really does not figure in our family book. It is thought that if you could trace everyone back to Scotland perhaps you could find some vague connection there, some evidence of a distant cousin of very high degree. However, it is nearly impossible for us to trace ourselves back beyond the two brothers, John and Henry, who came to America from Scotland in the mid-1700s. They were children when they came here and no explanatory trail was found of their parentage by those eminent persons who wrote the family book, and even traveled to Scotland to search in church records there for some clue, so I doubt that I could do any better without some serious money and lots of luck. And even so, so what? It just isn't worth it to regular people like me. That is a job best left to the historians.

Bacon Bits

In the original wording, Bacon says that the stranger "bad us not to scant ourselves" but of course these misspellings were common in the early days of the printing press. The context is obvious that he meant to say "bade us not to scant ourselves."

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I always was a staunch defender of the United States. I cannot imagine why anyone would think otherwise.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why was that white trash Gretchen Graham screeching at me? Only later did I figure out that she married that college classmate Tom Anderson, a boring person of no interest to me. I sort of remember him being there at college but I could not tell you one thing about him.

Which Reminds Us

Yes, it is a bit awkward for me, all these creepy Thraci people trying to attach me to their repulsive brood, an attempt to erase me, as if I would know where that came from. If you were imagining me the Persian connection you would be quite wrong on that point. The Wilsons ought to know more about that as their own cousin James might be a branch off that tree, not that I would know anything about that. I never did extensive research on my high school classmates because, really, it is none of my business.

Bacon Bits

Sometimes you make me feel like an alien child. Yes, I suppose that these illegal aliens have a big chip on their shoulder and want to stick it to us legal natives who make any mistake. Well, I did not write the documentation defining paperless border fugitives in the subhuman category of "aliens" so just working will not be enough to compensate for a lack of paperwork. The immigration people will discuss your paperwork issues with you so don't bother me about that. It is just the system. That is just the way it is so I don't know why everyone is saying that I have to pay for them when actually I cannot even afford to cover my own tracks at the moment. God is merciful and patient but man is a terror.

Which reminds me that Bacon, in his "New Atlantis," quotes the islanders as giving at least "that which belongs to mercy." In high school one of our maids was named Mercedes, which in Spanish means mercy. Mercy only worked for us for about seven months and then she was gone. Mercy quit. But we were glad to be rid of her, to tell the truth. Mercy was sort of like an annoying spy always happening to be sweeping the floor just around the corner from wherever we were and wanting to get chummy when I needed to be doing my homework. So it was just as well that Mercy left us because I don't have time for this. I would rather commend my soul to God than to Mercy.