Tennessee

Did I ever mention that I could not care less about Tennessee? Yes, it's true. And who was that guy I once had a crush on who was named Paul? Maybe he was from Tennessee but that is about the only thing I remember about him. Otherwise I could not care less about Paul and whoever his family turned out to be. I could not care less about Paul and I could not repeat this thought enough times to emphasize that I could not care less. If he is not going to be a friend to me, then I am definitely going to reciprocate that sentiment exactly. I really was not planning to continue hostilities but if war is what Tennessee wants, then we should remind Tennessee that there are fifty other states out there who will kick Tennessee's butt if they try to rebel against the Union. The Sons of the Confederacy were losers in case you forgot. We have found the text of the debate in which you defended slavery, you psycho! The Emancipation Proclamation did not your way and yet you expect us all to feel sorry for you. But you are really not all that important in the whole scheme of things. You call yourself Jewish because your great-grandfather was Jewish but I also may have some Jewish blood in me somewhere and I could also convert if I wanted to but my ancestors found something better in Christ and his church and so that is where my treasure is. Anyway, as far as I am concerned you are just one state out of fifty states all waiting for their turn at the microphone so keep it short and simple because what you have to say is only a tiny piece of the puzzle. In fact, you are not worth even five seconds of my time and attention at this stage. You have already used up more than your share of attention, much more than you ever deserved in the first place, and it is time to give other people a chance. You eat up all the space and then everyone gets the impression that it is all about you when it really is not about you. Got it? Good.

Funny

Well, isn't that funny! I do not remember being all that aware of the existence of Terry Meeuwsen so why is she so bent out of shape over what I said? If she wants to own the title of "Dutch-Whore" then she is welcome to take possession and claim it if she so desires but really I wasn't talking about her.

Family?

Oh, did I say that I was part of the missionary family that time when I was interviewed that time? Ha ha ha! What a joke! I must have been out of my mind. No way would I want claim kinship to those riff-raff losers of the distribution department. Ha ha ha! No way would I ever claim kinship Harold Mintle who always dictates the stupidest business letters that make no sense at all. The job sounds important but, well, it was mostly a title with nothing much to do, actually.

And what about crazy Don Triplett always trying to build castles in the sky. What does one expect from those silly Nicas anyway? Why is he always trying to sell us an uninhabitable pile of rocks? It has no roof so the rain and snow would keep us wet and freezing to death. How stupid does he think we are anyway? If he wants to buy Sizergh Castle he will have to negotiate himself with the British National Trust to whom the building was donated in 1950. We have no chairs in Parliament so we have no leverage there. The people own the castle now. It is very expensive to maintain such a large building. You have to have lots of money in the bank to pay all the gardeners and cleaning people. One person cannot be expected to keep track of all those priceless historic treasures that do not belong to our family anyway. We are not that closely related. They may belong to humanity in a general sense but not to us.

No, obviously I was only saying what I was supposed to say, not what I really thought about it.

Not Available

What part of "I am not available" does evil Wicked Witch Lee not understand? We girls all thought that was an interesting leopard skin coat worn at missionary retreat but otherwise I am simply not available to be abused by that horrid, hideous woman and there is nothing else to be said about that. Sure, if I had $1 million tucked away somewhere I could fill a whole vault with tapes of myself singing, fill my wardrobe with more fashionable clothing, and maybe even write a book about something and then whine and complain about every little thing until no one wants to see me ever again but, what would be the point? Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, but of course only they are allowed the luxury of being vain. They deserve the vanity labeling, I do agree on that point.

I spent my entire childhood being abused and mistreated by the wicked Bueno-Stewart clan so I see no value in living here in South Florida in close proximity to the treacherously wicked, not to mention mentally retarded Hoskins "boys" and Lee's clueless bimbo daughter. We just have no use for such back-stabbers in our lives.

Stuart

Yes, I do remember that in sixth grade at the missionary kid school in El Salvador there was a guy named John Stuart, an eighth grader. I don't think he was there more than a year or two and I don't remember anything about him other than he was there. Who asked me about this? Anyway, he was not related to the Stewarts who also attended the school but it was very interesting to them to have someone in the same school of the other spelling. The Stewarts are always so proud of their name, always acting as if they are born to rule over us. It gets sort of annoying, actually, for a non-Stewart like me to feel like what I say or do just doesn't count. Everything they say is taken at face value and I am never consulted so, basically, Susie rules even when she is wrong or doesn't even know what she is talking about or even, dare I say, when she is twisting the facts to suit herself. Yes, we all have to feel so sorry because Susie's Dad died when she was 12 years old but, still, there is a limit to how far these sob stories will go. We grow weary of feeling sorry for Susie after she has trampled us underfoot for too long. Susie so loves her own name that she prayed that her husband would also be a Stewart and God answered her prayer with a Buzz Stewart. So that's nice for her, but I am not so particular as that. There is not really a last name requirement for me but, anyway, it would have to be someone who understands me and treats me like someone who counts for something, especially as I am not really that bad, not really any worse than some other people I can think of and perhaps even better than others. In fact, it it kind of depends on what you mean by bad. If I am only a copycat, what about the original sinner? I am not supposed to care about that, and yet it is already assumed that I am asking the question. So I could try to wriggle off the hook by explaining this but nobody would care. Yes, we are all supposed to feel sorry for the Bueno brats because their last name marks them as Hispanic but, well, c'est la vie. A large chunk of the population does very well with Hispanic names attached so I do not see any reason to feel sorry for them. In fact, sometimes they are the ones who treat us like garbage and not the other way around, so it boggles the mind that anyone could think otherwise. They expect us to tell them all about us but they never mention that their family tree is full of Scottish and English names: Stewart, McFarlane, Drake, Moore, McWhiner, etc. So the surname does not necessarily represent very much, only one aspect of one's heritage, not the whole picture.

Castles

Speaking of castles, my grandfather McClellan was very Scottish, his father having been a circuit-riding minister for Cumberland Presbyterian Church on the Texas frontier back in the late 1800s. My grandmother, on the other hand, might be considered British if you trace her by the Strickland name, as well as being a Methodist. Back in the old times you didn't have much choice. You lived on a little farm out in the Texas countryside and you attended the local church whenever the preacher of whatever denomination arrived to hold church, usually Sundays of course. Whether or not we can trace our lineage back to the Stricklands, the Catholic Lords of Sizergh Castle in northern England, is not clear. My guesswork says yes but I am not sure. You would have to go back many many generations and there were other Stricklands, too, even back in the days of the Tudors so we cannot be sure. It is sort of mildly entertaining to think that my great-grandfather Henry Strickland, the Texas farmer who served in the Texas Rangers and herded cattle along the famed Chisholm trail, might have descended from the ancient Stricklands who were at one time back in the 1500s and 1600s very well connected to the aristocracy and even the royal family of England. Katherine Parr, the last wife of Henry VIII, was a close friend who spent some time living at Sizergh Castle with the Stricklands. They also could claim some connection to Mary Queen of Scots by marriage. I read somewhere that the Stricklands, who were Catholics, accompanied the King James II into exile at Saint-Germaine in France where Lady Strickland served as governess to the young Stuart prince. The Stricklands were able to arrange to get their castle back when they later returned to England. The Stricklands also took up arms in battle against the Scots on occasion, so I suppose you could say that my grandparents were also at war with each other, but, no, that wouldn't be true. We in America remember but dimly the wars of religion. In our family we were all just Protestants so we do not see any need to break down the wall. There is a wall and it is very hard to cross over when it is a matter of salvation. It is all about the joy of salvation and you could of lose it over there on that side because you can never be sure where you stand. At least I have the joy of my salvation even if nothing else. Did not Patrick Henry say give me liberty or give me death? Sometimes it is just one or the other and not both.

Speaking of Dresses

Yes, I remember hearing the story of the girl who went out and bought her wedding dress even though she had no fiancee, not even a boyfriend, and just prayed for God to fill the need. Isn't that sort of presumptuous to ask God to redeem our own foolishness? How very scary for her. What if God never did bring a husband into her life? What would she do with the dress anyway? I am glad that I never did that.