Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not claiming to be a prophet, and yet I can see that your future success as a screenwriter is probably not going to happen if you persist in this reckless attempt to character assassinate me as the Crazy Hatchet Lady, as if I would ever think of going over to your house and taking an axe to your hidden stash of booze bottles. That never happened, at least not in my case, so it is somewhat mystifying to ponder based on what are these charges of looting? Not that I would want to seem as if angling to know more about what somebody else did, but even so, you cannot just blithely go around accusing us of imaginary crimes. That would stand legally.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am starting to wonder if you are reminding me of the receptionist whose other job was at the local black newspaper and was close friends with Andy, or whether you are connected to Debra Chronowitsch, who was for a short time my editor and loved to talk about her dear friend Oprah. These are persons who I barely remember their existence now after all these years. Why is this Trivial Pursuit game so obsessed with me? Why can't you find somebody else to pick apart? I have enough problems already.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that after I was transferred to the Fort Lauderdale office, a co-worker of mine there, very talkative, was telling me that he is also a private detective on the side. I hope that you weren't wasting all your money hiring him to spy on me, the thought was in the back of my mind at times, when I am the most uninteresting person that I can think of, and also I do not know anything that would be worth so much time and effort to dig around for. However, if there happened to be some report about me, that would be something interesting to read, to see how this person would interpret things in ways not necessarily helpful, and also would be a time capsule of things that I was talking about 25 years ago which I probably have completely forgotten by now.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I forget that they often mistake me for that trashy Africa bimbo who is mostly remembered for cavorting with those guys who were playing midnight basketball in their birthday suits. What was her name? I never really heard more about that, although I had not thought of characterizing her that way, but they did send her away immediately for some reason, I have no idea what happened, of course our advisors would immediately about dangers actual or potential, real or imagined, and then they are expecting me to vomit forth this garbage that they said themselves in the first place somewhere in the background. Even so, why should I be bothered with having to be forced to comment about matters of no concern to me, diplomatically speaking, by those nasty people? So thanks for nothing, creepy wicked rich people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember the time, while attending Evangel College, that I fell while ice skating hand in hand with Rob Schmidt. I never liked him after that, Kathy's later effort to get me to ask him out for Sadie Hawkins day just fell flat, sorry about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not happy about your having abandoned me to these vultures and buzzards, always fantasizing about an "it" that does not exist. I have nothing for them, there is no "it" to give. Where is my parachute? I need to find some place to get off of this crazy insane asylum.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, really, where are the social workers who are supposed to be helping those poor Araucan or Mapuche people who are being tossed around by the social upheavals of South America? Also one would think that there would be some missions or charitable groups there to minister to the needs of those people somehow, one would think, instead of all this nonsensical ranting about mountain geography.