Which Reminds Me

Yes, how interesting, the way you decorate your nightly talk show with such.a wide variety of assorted characters and/or animals, and how many times have you been bleeped for the things that you said in front of God and everyone else. Everyone can hear that although by that time some of us have already had enough of your mouth and are not tuning in to really know more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how nice for some people, to spend millions of dollars to move to Europe, but anyway, it is not like I asked for them to attach me to their blob of paperwork of which I was not previously aware. Myself having already agreed to evacuate the planet at a future time as yet to be determined, why should the prospect of enjoying what's left of my life here be so rudely interrupted by the politicking of some person of whom I may or may not be dimly aware. I always did think their obsession with the Mediterranean to be somewhat odd, given that, anyway, I do not resemble the local populace so who cares and also too much exposure may cause sunburn and blisters and sun poisoning, so it is really not necessary for me to spend that much time exposed to someone else's ying-yanging political widgets that to me seem quite meaningless. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is always distressing to see persons who drop out of society and completely self-destruct, as for example the sad case of Don Hott or whatever his name was. We have occasionally heard reports of him flitting about South Florida in his weird way, a waste product of Colombia. It is a very sad story but why focus on the dregs of society?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that I would be futile to claim any credit for my amazing success in the field of brain surgery, but anyway, there is the benefit of having done the brain surgery even when nobody cares.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I too was surprised to learn that I started something, but, oh, I forgot, I was four years old at the time, so maybe I was hoping that would not count for anything serious later.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whatever happened to Melanie? She was one of my mother's projects from work. My mother always feels sorry for these people and is always trying to help people through their hard times, but something went weird after the Melanie project ended. Why am I still getting mail from her ex-husband Jason, who was said to have run away to become a homeless bum, leaving Melanie with a little baby, so my mom was trying to be helpful, so why should I care about so much about that?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of costume, I vaguely remember that day when I was wearing a headband on my head with antennas protruding from it, bouncing on springs a la Martian style, so hopefully a humorous note, and yet I get nothing but insults from Tim Triplett, who is sort of annoying in other ways also, so not really surprising, I really should not be expecting much from those belligerently obnoxious guys. 

Often at youth service, Tim would confront me by saying, "Has the cat got your tongue?" And what would be the answer expected to this absurd question? Silence is what he deserves from me, basically.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I hope that you were not expecting me to waste my breath trying to retell the story of Ms. Christina, that I only heard from the viewpoint of Michelle, so I was not sure what to believe in terms of actual facts, because it was sort of vaguely told, something about how she went on a business trip with her boss, and apparently they opened the connecting door of the hotel rooms. Oh? Now, that would be completely stupid, but I never really heard any further explanation elaborated beyond that it maybe happened. I would not be a primary source of information on this topic, you would have to ask Michelle. I did not want to investigate that myself due to flea infestation issues. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during my second year at SCC, our friend Lynda arranged for us to serve as ushers for a season of concerts at the Crystal Cathedral. One of those concerts included a lovely performance of the light opera "Amahl and the Night Visitor," which features that memorable song about a box, "This is my box, this is my box, I never travel without my box." Without my box, I could only have problems, so I  will not travel that way again.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I specifically remember having the chicken pox, a miserably disappointing week when I was not able to attend my own birthday party at school because I was ill, but I do not remember having the measles. I might have been vaccinated against that, so measles was prevented.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, wouldn't that be nice, if I were to have enough money on hand to pay off those annoying Arab people and ship them home to Lebanon where they belong. Maybe they would feel more comfortable there, with bombs falling all around, because certainly they don't seem to interact well with U.S. citizens such as myself, because anyway, just because they own the land, we only get mineral rights, that does not constitute a marriage contract. So they bought the land and later learned that the mineral rights were severed from the land, and they are intent on taking the mineral rights for themselves by hook or crook. So this is a problem, how to get rid of them. If only they would stay on their side of the fence and mind their own business, that would be one thing. But no, they are a colossal nuisance, always punching holes in the walls.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not suppose that my little bank book from first grade, starting with maybe $1, could possibly be worth all that much, and what other money could I possibly have? 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, my Mom told me that my grandfather was a card-carrying Masonic, although perhaps not known to be particularly advanced or active in that. He preferred to pay his dues and maintain membership in case he ever needed to avail himself of that old folks' home they maintain over there in Texas.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, maybe you do resemble Ann slightly, but I really would not know, what would be the point of meeting her cousin from Ohio? I barely remember some of those people. Some of their names can be found in the yearbook, but whatever happened to them later is not clear.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember one day when I was walking around campus, Tim was walking the other direction passing nearby, and at that moment he said something about the hickey on my neck, which was the most ridiculous, patently false lie, there was no Hickey on my neck, where did he get that crackpot idea, maybe the skin on my neck sometimes gets sort of blotched while brushing my hair that morning, but certainly there was never any Hickey on my neck. With an idiot, and that could hurt my reputation if people actually believed that nonsensical stuff that he sometimes says, he is not really that funny. But whatever.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is easy for me to imagine that whatever I might do could easily incur some infraction of one or another rule that I was not aware of, so I will be excused from actually having to do anything in future, you understand. Thank you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, in fact, almost the only things that I keep hearing about her, are exactly what Jill and Linda were saying about her. I never had anything to add to whatever Jill and Linda said. They are much more accomplished at the arts of gossip than myself.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am aware of the problem of defamation, and how certain persons were trying to plant certain words in my mouth, as if I were even thinking about them at all, much less to make unwarranted swipes at her reputation, so it is very aggravating to see her poking and lurking around the corner, as if waiting for me to say something, as if I should care about whatever happened to her, when everything is being orchestrated to make me say something that maybe never happened, how would I know? And then I would end up completely stupid if I say anything, so there seems to be no way to end this constant aggravation short of an explostion, because as long as I simply ignore her, she never gets a clue that actually she is not even on my radar screen.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how clever of them to orchestrate such a useless mess of dystopian dissonance. Next I would like to see Mr. Clever spit me out a complete refund for all of my valuable time wasted on their self-aggrandizing braggadocious claptrap. A refund would give me an actual reason to believe that God cares about me too, not only them. But maybe there are other factors to consider. I don't know everything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am surprised that you have not yet served Karen Klein's empty head on a platter, because I could not quite see what she was talking about, as if I should flail around for doggie treats while she boasts of having married Larry, the son of the college president, and blah blah blah, whatever that meant.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it gets very confusing, when you remember that Beverly was my mother's cousin, and Beverly was married to Richard Klein, a person who I really do not remember, and Beverly's mother's maiden name was Tackett And when Beverly lived in California, she lived mainly in Tehachapi, one of those little towns out in the desert. Weird how all these Kleins, presumably Beverly's in-laws, are always swarming about nearby. I am really not related to them, how to politely explain that to me they are only Beverly's in-laws?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who would have thunk it, to use Ex-Lax as an ingredient when baking a batch of brownies that she dropped off at Terry's house for those guys to "enjoy." We were the witnesses, next day, to a dramatic confrontation that was the result of that. Oh, thanks Karen. Already he is a raving lunatic prone to rambling speeches in which he sometimes says the most nonsensical things, if I had known there was going to be a test later I would have taken better notes, and that elevates him to the level of undisputed martyr, completely unbearable.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interestingly, I seem to remember overhearing Karen the harpist saying that she will not comply. Comply with what? I was not sure what she meant by that, she was not talking to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not remembering who taught us that little dity, "Beans, beans the musical fruit; the more you eat the more you toot; so eat your beans at every meal." Actually, I think that the idea is to not eat the beans so that I will not have to toot a bunch of stuff that I really do not understand.  I like beans line, but maybe not right now. This is not a convenient time to be tooting my own horn.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, ha ha ha, who is this pathetically low-life Poster Child of Iniquity, who dares to lecture me on these matters of morality. Ha ha ha. Given that we never discussed politics on our one and only date, how is it that you are not recognizing your dearest Russian confidante Dauna, who you had asked out previous to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I tend to think of Indiana as yet another Midwestern state up there in the middle of nowhere. My cousin lived in Indiana for some years, but it was difficult for us to understand why he would want to live there in the middle of nowhere, a place where it gets cold and shows in winter, given that there is really nothing of interest there otherwise. He is dead now, so there is no other reason for us to think about Indiana. Oh, I forgot. Coincidentally, Craig Bowling Ball was from Indiana. Even so, he was nothing, he only gets Pam, all he can get is Pam, nothing more.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, Thanksgiving was the key word in my Spelling Bee victory of second grade. Later there was an informal spelling bee that I did not win, but no matter, the trophy is already mine. 

And then later there was a school assembly, students only, in which my assigned role was to run up on stage and yell "Happy Thanksgiving" and then run off again. I was wearing a pink hat with pink rabbit ears. There was a drama being performed by some students at the time and I am not remembering how that coordinated with my assigned role, or whether the dramatist had added the rabbit merely to acknowledge  my Spelling Bee triumph, thank you very much. Either way, anyone with half a brain would have been at the Spelling Bee and would have gotten the chuckle, one can easily imagine, so there is nothing further that I would need to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have noticed recently that there is not much impetus for going to Puerto Rico, one can easily imagine because some of the overly vocal persons on this topic are gone now, passed away, so there is really no one that I know who cares very much about going there. We tend to th8ink that we should leave the Puerto Ricans to self-determine their own futures, but also we sort of conquered them and made them our territory, and absorbed much of their population into the main;and, so I really have no ideas for what they should do about that next. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, the only thing that I would know about the alleged mischief of Bonnie and Becky, would be what I heard from my mother, and that only a few years after I had left college, after I already had noticed them trying to attach themselves to me by the back door. I actually have no need of them, I will be just fine without them anyway, but whatever. I cannot quite get a handle on what they were expecting me to do for them after they made an even bigger mess of things, only they have husbands to protect them from their messes, while single me does not, so that leaves at the mercy of whatever hostile snipers.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, once again I seem to find it necessary to remind all that I won the spelling bee. I was in second grade, and I am the person who remembered to put the 's' in the middle of Thanksgiving,  in contrast to that third grade boy who could not spell 'Thanksgiving' correctly. Last time I checked, there is still an 's' in the middle of Thanksgiving. Last time I checked the trophy is still sitting on my shelf with my name engraved upon it, permanently if I may say so myself. Some people were not happy about that, and were making a lot of noise, but anyway, just stealing my spelling bee trophy would not solve this problem.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I can only guess that you are looking for an airplane story, but I really do not know anything specific about their airplane story, I only hear things leaking online about that, myself not being a primary source of information on that topic. But anyway, I really think that I have no need of your silly Fong Phone. For what do I need al those nasty garbage Chinese people screaming in my ear. Their heads are full of Watchman Nee garbage books. I did buy one of those Watchman Nee books once and got about halfway through, and that was about as far as I got in terms of Watchman Nee's theology. I was turned off by his gratuitous sniping against "missionaries," whatever that term meant to him is not clear. He does not specify exactly what missionaries is he talking about, in what socio-cultural-historical context, as if all believers were not "missionaries" in another sense of the term, nor give specific examples of what he meant for further analysis, so it is hard to get a handle on what to say about that, given the diplomatic context. But he unfortunately died a martyr's death in prison, so that only compounds the problem of the hostile snipers, as if all believers were not "missionaries" in their own way, and what to do about that. But it was never my job to ride herd on these idiots cousins of mine, they have their own boring agenda that is of no interest to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am happy to see that someone finally spelled that out in so many words, which is that they do not want anything from me and it is all their money. Ok, fine. I do not know why some people cannot eeem to hear that. So anyway why am I wasting my breath talking to a pack of people who hate my guts? Life is too short to be bothered about that. Why should I care about that? 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not remembering why we were not in our usual locker room that day, for some reason we were all jammed together in the girls' bathroom, and changing quick to get to class on time. So that was weird, but whatever, not much could be expected of those two little Dummies who talk too much. Oh, and were you expecting me to respect your privacy?  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that in the office, Rick Hayden was often bragging on his favorite protegé of the moment, Ms. Orozco, a Latina who seemed to have a knack for writing snappy lead paragraph. Ok, so, that's nice. But whatever. White girl does not want to expend too much energy on fending off these Latina snipera who hate gringa white girl. There is no way to guard against these hostile Latina snipers.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit confusing when you refer to Tom, are you referring to the Wagner, of whom actually nothing is known beyond that he exists, or Thomas Hills, who may be seen posing as a coffee picker when actually he is peddling paint, so that this problem of having to watch paint dry gets sort of boring after a while.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who was that cynical person who was saying they believe that everyone has a price, that everyone can be bought for a price. I am not remembering, How did you phrase that? And of course there is that game show, The Price Is Right. Of course some things are not for sale. But it is annoying to still be hearing that conversation, as if that were something to take seriously. Of course not.