Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that Grandpa Calkins expressed his disapproval of Bob Hope, the movie star whose jokes are sometimes falling over the edge of being too bad for little Christian ears. Even so, I suppose that some people will continue to use Bob Hope's humorous stuff in pop culture, realistically speaking, even though we would prefer a more scientific and historical approach to matters of serious concern for the human race.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if I ever did meet Pete, who was one of Linda Crawley's many former boyfriends many years ago, at a time when I was not living in Florida, I really do not remember him. I heard him talked about but I never really knew him.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, while others may boast of names starting with "C", I myself, without any effort or labor of my own, was somehow born with a double "C" of a name, both first and last names starting with "C," (not to be confused with the stenographic CC: copies to), an inheritance that suits me just fine. The surname of Calkins seems to equip me to notice certain things, such as that I am being targeted by psychotically and dangerously confused Italian or French or something mercenary terrorists, and also that I am really not the only Calkins on the planet who perhaps may be thinking that I have no need of taking upon myself and claiming responsibility for all of the crime and punishment due actually to Wilson and his Italian golddigger/hooker. Not wanting to comment on such an unrelated topic, I leave Wilson to the wheels of law enforcement, myself not knowing enough about that to stick in your eye, although I have learned quite a bit more recently. Thus we see that an alternative "C" name, such as, for example, Campbell, would be a step down in my view. The "help" of Campbell was not requested and not necessary. Already life is complicated enough without Campbell kicking up a lot of dust that sticks in your eyes and then nobody can see anything. And what Narcissus does not imagine himself the "good" who deserves to win the day? Just because your name is McWin? What I could have done.... but time and chance happen to all, the rain falls upon the righteous and well as the unrighteous. And even death is not the end of the story, because there is another life beyond this one, an eternity, where rewards and punishments are dispensed in some mysteriously unknown way. Could it be that to "win" in this life is to "lose" in a subsequent sequence of events? Only God is in control and knows what the future holds.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there are some games that I lost and that I am happy to have lost. Who cares? Whatever.
I am happy NOT to be from the horrible and worthless state of Louisiana.
I am happy NOT to have the horrible job of cleaning up your stupid mess.
I am happy NOT to have to knee-jerk respond to every irrelevant and insignificant little factoid that thought you overheard somewhere, although not really.
I am happy NOT to be your mother and thus not responsible for reorganizing the haphazard contents of your empty head.
I am happy NOT to be from the state of Georgia. Frankly my dear....

Which Reminds Me

During high school, living in Central America, some friends of my sister's invited us to a party at their house, I don't know why I thought it was a Christmas party. They lived over in that neighborhood called "Mejicanos." They were telling us about some political turmoil at the university. Also there was some discussion of the slang term "vos" for you, not to be confused with the word "voz" for voice. "Vos" was an abbreviated version of the plural of "you," more like a "ye," which in English is antiquated and no longer use , but anyway in Spanish they often use the plural of "you," although mostly on formal occasions. However, at the time, the vogue or fad or sort of casual usage or if you want to call it street language, (it did not seem that crude at the time, just a "y'all") at least among some people that we met at church was to call people "vos." I no longer hear that ever so I never use that now, but at the time it was one of those things, y'all. But then again at the party they were talking about it as if it were a code for French terrorists or something special sub-group or clique, which I really had not heard previously. So I really do not know what else to think about that. Did you have some reason for mercifully pounding on this insignificant point, Mr. Tyrannical Despot. You know that I was never a French terrorists camping in tents in the countryside the better to wage war against cities and towns. So ridiculous.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am remembering that there was some chatter about the opera singer Maria Callas and her odd sort of link to the Kennedys. Yes, you really seem to enjoy chattering about every trivial detail in the  universe, but you do not seem to understand who you are talking to politically speaking. My family, we are Republicans. It is well known by now that Grandpa Calkins lamented the loss of the gold standard but what are you going to do? Time is relentless. We must adapt to our changing circumstances, the shifting sands of time.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember during high school in El Salvador, one Sunday at church, at the Evangelistic Center as we called it, I was approached by a man who seemed to be Italian, or else Spanish, but I tend to think that he was Italian, although I cannot remember his name, and he was very friendly and chatted for a few minutes and offered to give me voice lessons, which I cannot say was not an interesting thought, and that I was not flattered, but I declined the offer, being nervous about talking to an unknown person of whom I had no other introductions or recommendations that I should have any idea what he meant by that, never having seen him at church before or after that moment. I cannot say that I might not have benefited from that training in some way to a certain extent, but then again also I would have had to discuss that with mother and she would have to pay and also, I would only be interested in doing more Christian music, because opera does not really work for me, opera seems to be accompanied with a pack of vicious Italian divas screaming in my face, and, yes, I don't really need the extra headache of that, although certainly one might benefit from improved skills by voice lessons to a certain point, although if you have no talent anyway you might not want to be bothered. It might not be worth it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if only I could remember who said that outrageous thing about Kathy and her brother Raymond, thus to better unload that. These things blur together in my memories sometimes. And also, when you think about how Raymond has almost no vocabulary beyond words that start with F, I could see that there was a certain type of sick logic to what they were saying, even if I never would have thought of that myself. If you are going to stand on street corners proclaiming your philosophy of Roman conquest, do not be too surprised when these Goths and Vandals put another spin on that sort of pillage.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, does this have something to do with the idiotic rantings of Bevy 8-Ball, whose entire claim to U.S. citizenship is based on the sponsorship of our high school classmate Tom, and not much else. They never tell me anything and then suddenly I hear pile of nonsense emanating from there. So obviously they are deliberately and intentionally leaving me out of their inner circle of dull and boring persons, which means that I am not missing anything important. They have their places. What about my place? They keep trying to push me out of my chair. I think that if they are going to kill me anyway, they should not also at the same time enjoy the benefits of my brilliant mind. It is one thing or the other.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it was sad to hear that Bethany College, which was previously affiliated with our church denomination, has been closed for eight years, and their beautiful campus sold to some sort of New Age Whacko and peddler of yoga and self-awareness programs and Eastern religions, none of which holds any interest for us. I never attended Bethany, although acquainted with a few of their graduates, and do not know very much about how that happened. The Moroccan desert was never a point of interest for me, so I am not sure where those people are now. But whatever. Actually, we suspect that Bethany was disconnected long before the campus buildings went on the market.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, thank you very much. That was so nice of you to invite me to go along on your extracurricular recreational outing somewhere in the Napa valley area of California. I do not know why my memory of that is so vague. I only remember that I think there was a boat. Beyond that, I really cannot say much about that. After I was told that you work for the wine industry, I was shocked. I had previously thought that you were a church person, but then again what does "Vineyard" really mean? Come to think of it, the name of "Vineyard" seems to bring some persons who are not so easily distinguished from the general milieu, while we in the AG, at least of previous generations, still believed that God really meant something when he told us to remain apart and separate from the general milieu of whiners, and also not to be confused with clueless cave dwellers named Steve.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I am gone now. There is nothing further that I would need to discuss with Java Boy. Java Boy is not invited to my house. Java Boy (or should I say Jug of Booze Boy) is not invited to my personal life. Go back to the office and stay there, Java Boy. Is there something that I would need to discuss about working conditions on the job, that would be one thing. But just to pander to the Jug of Booze crowd, I really do not find the Napa thing so cool, all those insipidly boring rows upon rows of vineyards, too many already, to care more about that. I am gone now.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I had never heard of this person, Ted, when suddenly I thought I hard his wife Gwynne screaming a bunch of stuff in my face. I vaguely remember the existence of Patti Cruise, a high school classmate who was not my favorite person actually and I really do not care to be reminded of that. The less that I say about them the better, needless to say. Perhaps you have mistaken me for Patti's best friend, Kathy. Now those two were joined at the hip almost throughout high school. I cannot begin to imagine all of the contents of their intimate chatterings over there in the corner of study hall while I was studiously doing my homework. There is really nothing that I need to discuss with them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, here we go around the world again, and it takes so much time to unfold all of Wilson or somebody's lousy and not very funny points before we can get to the point of getting paid off the hook, so as not to be confused with Wilson's trashy Italian hooker, and meanwhile I need my money now so that I can get myself off the hook, not to be confused with Wilson's trashy Italian hooker. Why can't you just put the check in the mail in the plain English meaning of the word, not to be confused with Wilson's trashy Italian hooker? But no, all you want to do is indulge little Italian Cutesy-Puke's horribly flat and meaningless points. Not funny Mr. Fleabag! Not funny! NOT funny!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing that little song that I remember was often sung in church in El Salvador or somewhere, "Yo soy alegre porque soy de Cristo." It has a catchy little tune that sticks in your mind and seems to promote the message that is preached there generally speaking (from back in the days when the concept of melody yet existed). So what are you saying? That you have to translate into English using some other optional way that takes the message out of context and makes no sense whatsoever? Some words have more than one meaning, needless to say. Such as the word for happiness: "alegria." But if you only want to say that you are happy at the moment you could just use the word "feliz." And if you are going to be a malicious translator we cannot have you running the slide show. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember once going on a blind date arranged by my third cousin Chris Gallup. My date was a Mexican guy from San Diego whose name I cannot remember. We went to a concert might at an amusement park, maybe Knott berry farm,although I cannot remember that very clearly. I tried to be nice although he was full and boring. I heard later something about him. It seems that he supplements who i am even though there was no future for us tigether. I will not be available to work on future appreciation projects, needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, Richard claimed an actual cash value of about $25,000 of the items taken, yet was asking about $42,000 as total losses based on perhaps future appreciation, not to mention sentimental value. But whether he ever collected anything on that I have no idea. No one ever mentioned that to us before now.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have recently perused the MetLife insurance claim paperwork that was filled out and possibly filed by cousin Richard in 2003 claiming about $42,000 in losses due to the robbery, breaking and entering Richard's house and taking of the jewelry of his late departed mother, some gold dust, and some guns. The list of guns taken is appended to the paperwork for your reference if perchance you can read that from where you are, or maybe not. Whatever. Now, if you were to find some gold dust floating downstream on Sutter's creek, probably everyone would be congratulating you on your good luck. Finders keepers may be one of the survival laws of the jungle. But as it happens, I do not remember whether Richard ever mentioned to us whether he was ever able to collect on the claim. Where is the police report of the burglary and the gun registration paperwork? I do not know anything about this and anyway there is nothing that I
would need to discuss with the clerk at the insurance company or whoever you are. It was not my stuff. It belonged to them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is eerie and annoying to hear someone always threatening to steal my guns. Truth be told, I do not own any gun nor did I ever make any such claim, so there is no gun to steal. Besides which, nobody was talking to you about guns. So there is just nothing worth saying about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that although I voted for George multiple times, I have yet to find any benefit personally for myself in this agenda of Black Irish folderol. Sometimes there are no reasonable choices at the voting booth, only a citizen's duty to make the binary choice. One is the winner so the other must of necessity be the loser. And even the winner often shows no interest in working to implement my agenda, only that of hostile and enemy players, because that is how politicians are by nature, easily turned aside by various pressure groups and power players and money and political contributions, thus being overly dependent upon whichever way the wind is blowing at the moment, which is why it is wise to understand that their political job is not necessarily going to be of any interest or assistance to me. Thus I really do not care very much about politicians in general, never mind the idiotic rantings of some vacuous political consultants whose continued employments is amazing to behold, given that they have nothing intelligent to say when only fishing for confidential information that is actually none of their business.

Which Reminds Me

Nobody is paying me the big bucks to worry about your client's electoral prospects. That is your job, not mine.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have somehow heard of a theory that the Rockefellers might know something about this, although I have not seen or heard any actual proof of that. Perhaps it is only a theory that the private libraries of such wealthy people might contain some interesting verbiage options not available to the general public, although I don't really know anything about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I see that you also have noticed how my three cousins were not very understanding or forgiving about anything even though we tried to explain. But anyway, they are all dead now and gone to heaven while we are still down here trying to mop up the huge mess they left behind. We need a break.

Which Reminds Me

So over there you got your birdwatching mixed up with your phrenology, and who says that lampooners and satirists may not use animal analogies to make their points of a political or socio-cultural or historical nature? The device of animal stories worked well enough for Aesop's fables. However, taken out of context, the South American bird pictures almost seem disjointed, the meaningless product of virulent hatred of a mindless nature. I mean, what are you anyway, a reptilian lizard? Don't all South American people look pretty much the same? So who cares which bird wins, not withstanding the painting of the cockfight prominently displayed in the Bueno dining room or living room? Kingdoms rise and fall. People groups come and go. Life is short and then you die. So?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember going through that book by Paul Bettex, "Wholly for God," and I remember that, although he was from Germany or Switzerland and had attended a school in the United States, he talked about traveling on foot through Argentina and Chile, camping in the mountains of Chile and eating meals that miraculously appeared while he was sleeping, supplied perhaps by angels, and then later he went to the United States, and served for a while as a teacher at some college in the Midwest, and he also went to California and Azusa Street and became an early Pentecostal missionary to China, where he married a British missionary with a fortune, and then later he was martyred, killed by an angry mob for no apparent reason, and his body was found thrown into a shallow grave, and is buried somewhere in China last I heard.

Bettex in his book never exactly mentions doing any birdwatching in South America. Anyway, I do not have any other "special" extra information about the Bettex angle on these points.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what thick arms I have, the better to leave you in the garbage dumpster.