Which Reminds Me

Yes, I recently noticed that some persons seem to be getting all of their wrong information from blithering idiot Buzz. I won't care what race he might be when I eventually file my charges of slander and defamation against him, although I don't know when that would happen, I am not one of those sue-happy people. Needless to say. Obviously. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I think that if you are so familiar with the details of the Webber crimes, that we should all just step aside and let you do all of the possible prison time, because anyway, I do not know anything firsthand about that. It was only later that a little information came trickling out during and after the lawsuit that was filed by the boys, who were paid a settlement. Even so, how would I know what that was all about? I know nothing about that. Maybe if I had gone to the courthouse to read the legal documents, I would have more clues, but I did not do that,. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not recall myself ever having the slightest connection to Arkansas, cannot imagine what I would need to discuss with those wicked child molesters.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting how you people are such high school socialists, to a ridiculous degree, as if my entire life were defined by the casual acquaintances of happenstance during lunch hour. Actually, we never talked that much and I don't remember anything much about them. I have my tuna sandwich, my piece of cake and a banana and I have the piece of mind not to have to thrust myself upon the unwilling snobs over at another table.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I forget, I cannot even remember who was telling us that they had attended Hillcrest High School in Springfield. I just have no idea what sort of experience that might have been. You only live once, you only get one life and that is all there is.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, isn't that interesting, sounds like all of those Feral Cats have your name on them, so that will be your problem, not my problem. And I had not even noticed that detail until recently, so you Fast Times cats are way out there ahead of me, I am not even anywhere near to recognizing your Feral Cat problem. So I will leave it to Animal Control to figure out what to do with those critters. Obviously. Needless to say. Those Feral Cats certainly do take care of each other.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we cannot help but wonder, why don't you start at the beginning and explain for us the origins of this obscure, actually sort of lousy "million dollars" joke, that is often seen floating around in various permutations and variations, because actually that is ndddot the real Parable of the Talents, in which it is explained that it really does not matter how many talents you start with, be it 1, 5, 10 or whatever, only to do what you can with what you got, although some of us are not allowed to do anything with what we got so we are perhaps excused, but at least we tried.

Which Reminds Me

 Yes, I vaguely remember, having already told this story before but who's counting, that there was a time when there was an entire colony of feral cats living behind Grandma and Grandpa Calkins' house. They were sort of like calico cats, sort of cute, tri-colored with white, brown and black patches, sometimes you would catch a glimpse of the kittens crawling in and out of the hedges, and it is possible that my grandparents fed them for a while, because they did not go away very quickly, and eventually they had to call animal control to come and take the feral cats away, because they were multiplying rapidly and not getting a clue about going away to find some other place to live. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember how he used to tease me, asking whether the cat had gotten my tongue. Actually not, but this is not something to share on some clueless Trip.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, at least I have learned one thing through all of this, that some people are so desperate to be found "up," they will say anything silly thing, any clueless stab in the dark about the airport, thus proving themselves completely out of touch with my reality. I said No; did you forget that I said No?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember, Lynda and I were sitting there in our chairs waiting for class to start, and three people were standing over there talking to the teacher, Mrs. Lawrence, and they were talking about something that had happened recently when they were all visiting at Warren's house back home, and they were saying that Warren had bumped into Rose, somehow, and she was standing somewhere, someone had come out of a door, and was standing maybe on or near the stairs, and he had hit her in the — (something unpronounceable, he pauses and does not complete the sentence) — and she was wearing what? It wasn't clear who was standing where. And was that inadvertent or intentional? 

And Mrs. Lawrence, sensing that something embarrassing had happened, and wanting to seem sympathetic, started talking about some crazy Hollywood party she had been at in her youth, and seeing many crazy things happening there, and having drunk too much of something, went outside and vomited. So yes, she understands about these crazy embarrassing things that sometimes happen. 

Yes, how nice of Mrs. Lawrence to want to seem sympathetic, but I am not sure whether everyone would necessarily appreciate her analogy, because anyway, this is supposed to be a Christian college. Crazy things that happen at Hollywood parties are not supposed to happen here. We don't have such crazy parties here. Or do we? Hmmmmm..... Anyway, it was not clear what happened. There might be other parts to that story that I did not hear. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there you go again, riffing on some movie that I never saw and had no plans to ever see. Only because of a few snippets on Youtube do we have any half a clue as to what you are talking about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that someone was fearful of a rebooking, which actually is not happening. I am certainly not the bookkeeper in this family. I am only tracing the barely discerniable paths already left by the bookhounds who came before me. 

Having said that, even so, I yet think that, having this review thrust upon me, of the vast forest of world literature, I think that it would only be fair if I could somehow figure out how to monetize this activity, given that it occupies so much of my time and eats up almost all the computer space in my brain cells. It only makes sense that I should somehow find some useful thing to do with all of this literary information. I am just saying. Needless to say. Obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I see that someone may need to say something about the rotten attitude of some egotistical boys, but not me. I probably should just keep my mouth shut and not say anything about the amazing stupidity of some who were inexplicably thought of as genius level, in a previous lifetime perhaps, but not now, although I never said anything about that. Why make waves about that? I have enough problems alreay without that idiot screaming in my ear.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who was that horrid little brat who was threatening all sorts of Maltese Torture? As if I were ever acquainted with her brother John, much less whatever she said. Just forget about it. Ridiculous. People exhibiting such serious attitude problems are likely to self-destruct without me needing to say something about that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is very hard for me to remember, what is this anti-Semitic thing that I forgot to say? You never mentioned being Jewish, so I do not quite understand, what are you saying? Whatever happened to your Christian testimony? All these brown people look the same to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there are some days when my head just feels like a ping pong ball. I enjoy playing ping pong generally speaking, but if my head is requested to serve as the ping pong ball, getting hit from various sides and angles, I must respectfully withdraw from the ping pong match, because I am not even sure what hit me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am getting a bit exhausted hearing the internal politics of Sicily-Malta, as if I should care about that. That is your vacation house in Malta, not mine, so throwing me to a pack of garrulous quarrelsome Sicilians proves nothing. Just being a U.S citizen does not automatically correspond to Sicilian, needless to say. Obviously. 

You are the Maltese Falcon so to speak, not me, so do not expect me to pay your Maltese rent or dues. It took me so many years to find the not really a connection. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember the story of when I was 3 or 4 years old, and I am told that I tried to topple my cousin from her seat on the rocking horse, even though I forget this, but they often say that I did that as proof of my being a bully. 

That said, you might actually get more information about family history out of them, because they might remember other things that I actually do not remember if I ever knew anything about that.

Even so, I fail so to see why this should be of any concern to some Italian sports bully in high school who, as far as I can tell, is not acquainted, or at least should not be acquainted with my cousins or aunts or uncles, who are nothing toyou. Why should this dreary sports dog be all riled up against me starting from the first day of high school? Now that I am home in the U.S., why cannot I drop them off in some Italian garbage dumpster? I will not need them for anything. I am not related to them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that I was only sympathizing with some people who were complaining about the antics of our teacher, but I forget the details of that. It sounds terrible out of the original context now, but at the time it had a different idea, although the pun really does not work, strictly thought about, not worthy of appearing in eternal print certainly. I was not planning to do anything with sports anyway, so why all of this nonsense later? What's the matter, did you think that I was some obsessive sports freak? Sports is not my thing, needless to say. Why waste my time on sports? 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you really are only dreaming if you think that you are going to attach me permanently to those acquaintances of Brazil. There is almost nothing for me to say about Brazil. Let them tell their own story. I do not think that I can help with that. I would only make a mess of everything if I ever tried to go there.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that for about a year I was rooming with three people in an apartment run by Donna, a special education teacher who thinks that everyone is mentally retarded, forgetting that I am not one of her students, and anyway I found a better place for myself than there, so I am long gone from there and never going to return, so they should just get used to not hearing back from me.

Which Remind Me

You pathetic dagwood juvenile delinquent, how dare you speak to brilliant me that way. You probably owe everything you know to Wilson's Italian garbage dumpster.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember when I had a dog, and you have to be so careful about not leaving them at home alone unrestrained, never knowing when you might come hom to find them chewing on the furniture or something not constructive or helpful.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot quite see why you are complaining so much. You asked for a translator who can go back and forth fairly well in either language. So what else can I translate? That is all I do. I only translate. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, some may be wondering why is there no Deviled Farmer on the menu? Why not throw Deviled Farmer out the window? Spare me their nonsense.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Mitzi was our dog, a silver poodle, when we lived in Cooper City, but that was back in the 1980s.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, this obsession of yours with the hostages in Iran seems to me very Carteresque, so Carteresque in fact that it is almost as if a Carter's peanut farm crashed into a chocolate bar factory, and now it is raining Reece's Peanut Butter Cups. But I digress. Don't try to get that from me.

Which Reminds Med

Yes, I vaguely remember reading in the newspaper something about hostages being held in the Middle East. That is all there is, just some news reports telling about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, oh, perhaps I did tell someone about the story of the Jewish man who converted to Christianity, and his own mother appeared at church to spit on him and disown him, which is a sad story to be sure, but that is some amazing faith to be able to stand firm in your faith even when the circumstances may not be working out the way you might want them to. You have to be strong about your Christian faith, not one of those namby-pamby half-baked people who are feeling sorry for themselves.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do think that if I had known that she was going to be the devil personified, I could have spared myself some grief and not shared or mentioned some observations of mine which, while true enough from my point of view, were not so important as to be broadcast on the nightly news, because anyway the world is full of errors,  to which I have become more desensitized than I was in my youth, and to put too fine a point on that exaggerates the matter beyond recognition or beyond what it deserves. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have noticed the gun pointed at my head, but what more can I say to this question about why was Rose Wilson laid to rest. How would I know? Did she not do that to herself without any help from me? We were sitting there listening to her make the announcement, and what are all these imaginary contracts with Lynda Bee? So I get that you will not need me for anything, that much I get. You may find Rose to be a veritable fount of doggie dyke and/or fairy lore, so why are you bothering me? You can always ask Rose to explain what she meant by that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have noticed that some persons are traveling aboard the ship S.S. Gripsholm, but that was a WWII story. So, good luck with your upcoming Gripsholm book or movie project, whatever that may be. I might like to see that, too, might be an interesting story of heartbreak and broken persons rescued from the Japanese prison camps at the height of WWII. Also, yes, that might even work as part of Sarah Kuglar Sheets' amazing story, if I remember rightly, which I am not sure what I think about. But it seems that it might be a long time yet before the finished book or movie becomes available, if you are only now checking the passenger manifests to see who was on that ship or not. Next you will need to research the Gripsholm and tell their stories.

Of course, that is not our story. Not our ship. There are other ships in the sea and other stories to tell, but do not let me distract from your personal Gripsholm story.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not think that there are any Communists in my family tree, so I am not feeling any compelling need to discuss the redistribution of wealth with some unknownn strangers in some unnecessary public forum. I am sure that the laws and events of life and politics and fortune will combine in some as yet unknown way to produce the "whatever happens" result without my needing to discuss that with you. 

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen, so it is very important in this matter for me to live by faith and not by sight. No interference with my faith will be entertained. No performance of "what not to do" is warranted.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember those guys from CFI, they certainly do talk a blue streak, do not know when I would ever get a word in edgewise, and why bother now? I have other sources of info, do not need them for anything. I have YouTube. I have books, the internet, etc. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I may have noticed some interesting cracks in the sidewalk in regards to that, but anyway, there are some things that you might not be able to notice about that, because you are too young and free and unfettered by that, so try not to get too caught up in thorn patches that are really not that important. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is clear that someone is playing chess over my head, so that it really will not matter whether I am absent and slip out the back door quietly unobserved. Surely the gamesters will carry on their role-playing and not even notice that I am gone.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is always so insulting to be required to comment on some imaginary conversation of which I am not and never was a primary witness, so cannot say much about that. What is this imaginary conversation that may or may not have taken place between two people of whom I am barely aware, perhaps too busy trying to get my homework done during study hall if that is where it happened, although I do not remember being there at the time to hear that. 

Which is not to say that it never happened, only that if a tree falls in the forest, truly I believe that the sound waves are duly produced in accordance with known scientific principles, even if my eardrums were unfortunately not available to attempt a reproduction of whatever that was about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I think that you might have more luck interviewing Kathy's best friend, Patty Cruz, who is often seen reading from Kahlil Gibran at study hall. Maybe they could get together with Patty's Uncle Ted and figure out something about that.

Which Reminds Medd

Yes, I do not quite see why I would need to commit suicide to cover for Kathy's high-level Persian connections. I did not know anything about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, at least I was willing to take a swing at vicious horrid Chatty Kathy, unlike some other cowards lurking in the background. I am not going to apologize for that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, strange that you should be talking about land, as if I had ever owned anything to sell.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and where is the point of the story where I get to wash my hands of the back-stabbing traitorous Jenkins Terd family? That might be an interesting plot point to see. But I have to behave as a mature adult and not act out these dreary fantasies in some deterministic way. I have to overcome that. I have to overcome this Jenkins monster. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot even imagine when the time would come for me to think of kicking that dreary Has-Been Witch all the way home to David's worthless Dogpatch Hole. Who would have ever thunk such a ridiculous thing? Why would I ever say that?

Was she Arab or Jewish? I had not even thought of that, so obviously it was a purely literary matter limited to the use of Literary Club and nothing more.

But you insisted on getting all of your wrong information from those trashy Hollywood Hoes, those of the Farah Faucet Majors persuasion, under cover of Charlie's Angels TV stardom, who are sworn, no matter what, to defend that creepy little pickpocket/hotel cook Longwell of Iowa from his own two-faced traitorous back-stabbing duplicities, of the Mason Jarred variety. 

And when will they ever turn off the Faucet and/or Spicket, cut off the flow or trickle-down of your high-flown Dogpatch doggerel, the Dogpatch ditties of Debbie perhaps, so that we can get on with our lives? But one can only wonder what happened. when no useful facts are available. 

 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, God forbid that I should criticize the flattened storybook characters developed in your stab at fiction, or, oh, was that non-fiction? It was not yet clear to me at that time what a waste of time it is to join literary clubs. I think that after that I switched to girls' choir.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot quite remember what I said during ninth grade literary club, by this time I only remember that high school was such a completely miserable experience, always harassed by those vicious nasty horrid rich girls.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that there are some people who think that they are so clever in shoving some words into my mouth that had never crossed my mind. Who would have thunk such a thing? But even so, cleverness does not qualify them to be my legal representative. If I needed a lawyer, I would hire someone with the proven legal chops to represent my interests, not necessarily theirs.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really cannot quite see why you have chosen to be so heavily invested in that roach-infested condo, but whatever. It is your money, so do whatever you want with that. Only don't bother me with that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I always enjoyed watching those wartime Looney Tunes cartoons, wherein it is always so funny how they hammer the Nazis continually. Those cartoonists were amazingly good at doing their jobs.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting that you would want to claim the Shanghai point, but whatever. I would imagine that has nothing to do with me. Or perhaps we should be asking why your Shanghai message is not being heard. Huh? Perhaps your Shanghai messenger got Socked-In, or should we say Sobocked-In? That message does not resonate with us, lacking any factual context on which to hang that. I suppose there may be an interesting footnote there to the historical record, but it does not rise to the level of something that I would need to do something about. Besides which, I do not speak Chinese. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have agreed to evacuate the planet, no need to remind me of that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whatever happened to those back-stabbing so-called "friends." Just because their surname was Moore, that does not mean that those Lebanese cockroaches were ever in any way related to my great-great-grandmother, Amanda Fitzallen Moore (1827-1882) of Texas, who can be tracked back to Ireland and Scotland, unlike them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing the threats and mutterings of Bob, who wants to kill his shorthand secretary because of some who knows what crazy thing she might have said while babysitting his three children, although they never really explain what that was. I doubt that I could help with that.