Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was sort of interesting, I remember when I was 12 years old and my father was speaking at a church somewhere in California, I am thinking maybe the area of Fresco, and we were staying at some people's house who lived on a farm and they served us at dinner, among other things, pickled herring. So that sort of tasted interesting, you are serving raw fish and expecting us to like it, so we have to say the polite thing and thank you very much, although I have yet to have a second serving of that. That was my only experience of eating raw fish that i can remember.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am NOT aware of myself being under any financial obligation to Willard's erstwhile Italian garbage people. Just because my name is Calkins, that does not make me a slave to this Italian mafia riff-raff glued to Willard's legacy, given that I am NOT a direct descendant of Willard and could not care less, actually, about his outstanding obligations. I have enough problems of my own without Willard's colossal burdens thrown upon me also. According to the Ancestry site, Willard was my sixth cousin thrice removed, a point of almost no interest to me given that various thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of people on this planet, perhaps enjoy a similar distinction without giving cause for any particular notice.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have sometimes wonder when are you going to stop running your motormouth machine long enough for me to get a word in edgewise, but that never seems to happen.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Mr. and Mrs. Harris were my grandparents' next-door neighbors in California. They had a daughter named Sally and also a son whose name I don't remember. As small children we once had breakfast at the Harris' house, cereal and milk, but other than that I really do not remember much about the Harris family. Those were other times when neighbors know who each other were, unlike today's transient culture, where various persons going by the name of Harris are completely unrecognizable to us. Whatever happens, I don't think I will have any need of their worthless golf money.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember that Linda Harrington from our college was telling us about a certain person who, with her husband, was providing room and board to a guy whose name was David who had AIDS, and how careful she has to be to clean the toilet and everything so meticulously so as to avoid herself and other persons in the house contracting the disease. Yes, what a martyr! And yet somehow I have no envy or desire to do what she does. If it is your legally contracted job, that is what you have to do, but that is not my job. I consider myself fortunate in that regard NOT to have contracted all of these diseases.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was sad about my grandmother's raspy voice, which she explained as the result of a prolonged case of bronchitis during which she did not rest her vocal cords and the damage resulting was typical of what happens when you abused your vocal cords and lost your  voice, but I digress. Yes, interesting that you would remember that, given that you were not the next-door neighbor.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, isn't that interesting, now after all these years, to be hearing about Heidi Baker, who was at my college although we never talked, now talking to me as if there was now something to discuss, and also hearing from Heidi Nelson's husband, although I wouldn't really know whether or not that cruise missile is related to my sister's Nelson in-laws, because anyway we are not the 7th Day people, that there would be any reason to discuss something with them anyway, given that there are so many reasons for me not to be aware of their existence.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am a bit surprised to find myself cast as the villainess to those completely worthless and useless party riff-raff, who I keep at arm's length because, primarily, they are so stupid, but on the other hand this gives me a reprieve from having to socialize with those idiots and also an interesting opportunity to explore some points that I never would have thought of if I had not read the book.    

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was nice, maybe I do vaguely remember being complimented by Don Haught, who as it turns out, we learned later, is a completely worthless idiot, so obviously if that is my only fan my career is not going anywhere, needless to say. So just having been complimented once or twice does not mean very much, obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that could be interesting, when are you going to finish telling us the story about what happened in the bar in Wisconsin. We have heard various hints of that here and there, but never a coherent story, as if I should care about that, when, anyway, there are drunks in bars everywhere. So what about that?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, maybe there really is something sourish about that Crabapple tree, although I actually do not remember who it was who said that. Perhaps it was just something that they were always throwing at other outside people who do not fit their particular mold, in order to exalt themselves as the untouchable exalted ones, which perhaps only a few people would be able to get that. Certainly I consider myself indifferent to this point, given that I never had much connection to San Jose. A little bird said that some of my Dad's cousins live there on the Foursquare side of it, but I don't know them. We never met.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do apologize for busting your $20 tea kettle. You were asking why I had not thought to offer to pay for a replacement and I was speechless. Yes, why didn't I think of that? I forgot to take the tea kettle off the burner before the water boiled away and the bottom of the kettle was burned away, so obviously I cannot be counted on to remember much of anything, that's what a good cook I am. Sorry about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that I could think of it as somewhat deeply insulting that my high school much teacher would cast me as the villain while casting her own idiot son Tony as the hero, but anyway there is nothing that I would really be able to say to make that any better, diplomatically speaking. So I just, shrug, whatever, because ultimately nothing good can really result from this mess.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember going to the fair, with my sister and her two friends, Antonio and Conchi, although it was not my idea to go there. That was their idea. And we rode on some ferris wheel and other rides and ate cotton candy, of which I am not very fond, too sticky, and also churros, which are a delicious fried thing. And that is all that I can remember about that. Fairs are pretty much the same everywhere, didn't we have a fair on school grounds in the fifth grade also, but that would be another different story.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I never did have much of an acting career. When your high school teacher assigns you the role of villain, that is not really a good sign than an acting career would end well, so somehow the absence of acting roles does not seem to matter so much. What those actresses would have to do, for me, maybe I did not need the headache anyway. Don't we all have better things to do than listen to these mentally retarded Venezuelan people screeching in our ears.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, during economics class, Stephanie and Jaime were having an emotional dialogue indicating perhaps, but I would only be guessing to say more, the intimate nature of their party encounters. But as I have said, I was not present at the party and have no idea why I should care about their private off-campus trysts. I am sitting there nearby feeling as if a bug on the wall or a pattern on the wallpaper, although there was no wallpaper in the classroom, and wondering what that all has to do with me? Actually nothing. That was not my problem. Enough said about that. 

Yes, I tend to congratulate myself on having avoided further personal entanglements with those Dummies class idiots, but I digress. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was some bizarre classroom drama going on during economics class for some reason unknown to me, I cannot remember very much about that, only that the always so rude Stephanie was playing the starring role in the strange retelling of her secret party tryst with her Spanish boyfriend, that what's-his-name guy, Alvarado or something, all of which was a matter of entire indifference to me. If you cannot keep a tighter leash on your little monster, I hope you were not expecting me to "do" something about that, especially as I really could not care less and was not present at the party in question and thus have no idea what happened there, nor would I want to be bothered with trying to guess. Did you imagine that I was one of those carnival magicians who can just put an unopened envelope on my head and recite the contents of it without benefit of having seen what it contained? No, that would not be me. That would not be a test worthy of taking. Stop bothering me with your stupid tests. Read it yourself if you can.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting how these people, after immigrating to the U.S., are suddenly transformed into completely different people who are almost unrecognizable from what they previously were down there. I really don't know how they do that, I claim no responsibility for their immigration paperwork. They did not get that from me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I know, she came to our house and it was Christmas time, and there was a Christmas tree there in the living room with the lovely baubles that had been given us by the WM people and the strings of lights that twinkle and it was always such a nice thing to see, and so she was sitting there in the living room waiting for something, I forget what her errand was, and then later I never hear the end of how she is outraged about how we missionaries have a Christmas tree. So, Ok, so some people don't like my Christmas tree. Well, La De Da! Am I supposed to commit suicide because someone doesn't like my Christmas tree?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to remember that a variety of vaccines are required for travel. So that is something to remember, that if you refuse to take your shots you may find it difficult to travel later, lacking the proper documentation to show that you have been vaccinated for the smallpox, polio, measles, etc. etc. But if you are living in another country, you could not have gottten through the border without the proper shots, so obviously your medical records will simply assumed to be in good order.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I got the idea that Libby was trying to throw something at me, but I could not quite see what that was. Oh! I didn't know that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, your rules are not for me. Thus, I can see and know that I can be fully confident and have no fear of leaving the elected leadership of the NAACP to your capable hands, along with your noble and worthy teacher colleges that contribute so well to American society.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there really ought to be a nice way to tell these drunken party frat boys where to get off. Such an amazing facility with that speakeasy slop you dish out and yet you inspire no fond regard for that  underground slave network of bootlegger riff-raff.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is unfortunate for me to be held hostage by a pack of horrible men who are throwing things around willy nilly, their prime concern being to make my life completely miserable. This situation is a complete disaster as far as I am concerned.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, needless to say, not meaning to crow or boast, but my vaccination record is full of the legally required shots, I cannot speak for these other people when the privacy of medical records is a touchy subject to bring up for discussion. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have noticed that you are rowing in the opposite direction so obviously I am not going to waste my breath addressing that. If only I could afford to file for a legal bankruptcy and other legal communications, then perhaps I could get away with more of whatever I want, but obviously money makes the world go round and without money there is nothing else to do about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone was reminding us of the ancient story in which Haman was hanged on the gallows that he had built for Mordecai. Esther later had Haman's family executed and also assumed leadership over Haman's house, of which nothing more is said or known. In today's world we have no idea who are the families of Haman and Esther, but it is at least good to see that we can defend ourselves from these unwarranted onslaughts to some degree, when claiming the promises of the Bible. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was puzzling, how did I find myself suddenly thrown to or attacked by some George person unknown to me? I really have no personal connection at all there, so have no idea how that happened.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that really was very nice of Steve Brown to nominate me for a position of class officer. However, I at that time immediately spoke up and asked them to please erase my name from the list of nominees then on the blackboard because, anyway, it would seem impossible for a white person such as myself to be elected to anything in such an environment, and also, why bother, I don't really need the additional headache of elected office.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that I was talking to someone during high school about a certain girl, what's-her-name, I don't remember her name now, didn't know what she might have been going through, and I remarked that she always looks angry, her face scrunched into a permanent expression of Grouchy Cat, and I suppose, having said that, that I will never hear the end of that being thrown back in my face, because that is one of the few sticks that you have to use against me, always hammering on the same few points, and as much as you might like to have fresh ammunition to use against me, I really have been much too obliging already. Enough of you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have found it somewhat annoying and disturbing when people have asked me what is my Zodiac sign, as if that would make any difference. If I refuse to answer, I am made to feel unsociable, unfriendly. And if I answer the question, they might try to put me in a box that doesn't really fit. I would prefer not to think about horoscopes, and yet, anyway, horoscopes exist for whatever reason.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I think that perhaps I could be represented by someone other than myself if the occasion should require myself hiring an advocate or lawyer to speak on my behalf, in case of legal questions that I really do not understand. That often happens in courthouses, where for example I might have appeared to discuss a traffic ticket, and if there are going to be complications, certainly the lawyer will be able to speak to the judge in terms that make sense to the judge, whereas I just want to avoid going there whenever possible because I don't really see what there is to talk about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that the Stewart family had some special "Vanity Fair" deal, of which I have nothing particular to say. If they would prefer to look at their own face in the mirror, I too would feel the same way about that, actually, and do not like the idea of someone else staring back at me. Thus you would need to ask them about their Becky Thatcher points because I really do not understand. That wasn't my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, To bee a B or not to bee a B, To Bee an A or not to bee an A. The As like to congratulate themselves on not having said things, whereas the chatterbox Bs talk too much. Which is better? Myself, an an AB, am a personification of both of these extremes. Sometimes I wish I had not said that, sometimes I should have said something but did not. So either way, I cannot win this game with all of these hackers working behind my back to ruin everything.. Thus, I am resigning my existence and would prefer not to be reminded of the miseries of high school. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to vaguely remember that my birthday in May places me under the Zodiac sign of Gemini, which is symbolized by twins, and coincidentally I have met some few pairs of twins during my life, however I actually do not put much faith in these horoscope predictions that one finds in a certain section of newspapers. The Zodiacal signs denote our birthdays, it's a calendar, obviously. Beyond that, I am not sure what else that could possibly mean.  It is not given to us to know what may happen in the future.   

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to remember vaguely that you were trying to make some very strange point about a Turnbull in a China shop, even though I really don't see your point. What crazy thing did Shari do over there in Panama, as if I would know? As if I should care about North Central. What did snowbound North Central ever do for me? But I am not interested in continuing that pointless conversation.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is another connection that you could explore, what is the relationship of the Hills brothers to the Cederblom brothers? I don't really understand, but I get the idea that they all know each other somehow/

Which Reminds Me

Yes, once again I am reminded that there was a divorce, Beverly and Richard are divorced, which I would imagine leaves the Klein riff-raff in the garbage dumpster, needless to say. But I am certainly such a nice and polite person who would never say that in so many words.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is somewhat mystifying to ponder all of these bizarre rants about how I should be giving up my weapons to some persons who I personally do not like anyway, if push comes to shove, as if I ever had any weapons to be speak of, and as if I would know why they think that I have all these weapons when I actually do not know anything about it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I see that you are wondering why I always studiously avoid any and all mention of Share, a person whose exist4ence I would prefer to ignore and forget, given that there never was nothing of consequence to say about her anyway. The imagination could go bonkers trying to imagine a deeper meaning to all of these classroom dramas, but even so there were no solid facts to attach that to, whether imaginary or not. Thus, I really would prefer to avoid having to insert myself into Share's horrible drama of no interest to me. Whatever. If you really want to know, ask her yourself. I really don't what to hear about it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, actually, it was a certain Spanish word that was used, that I certainly would not recommend, but I do not want to make myself the issue. Sometimes one hears these guys spewing a string of words, and parroting that mindlessly would be not a good thing. If you look that up in the dictionary, then you see that you have avoided saying something that could be construed as sort of disgusting.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do think that I overheard that word, with which Fred hailed that other guy in the hallways of high school, and which I looked up in the dictionary and was shocked to learn the meaning of that, which I shortly afterward explained to Sharon Turner, which was probably a mistake because Turner only makes a mess of everything in very bad way. However, I cannot now remember what word that was, only what the dictionary said about that, which brings with it occasion to be reminded of the Biblical admonition to "Be ye separate."

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that while I was studying journalism, I had a floppy disk that was to contain a variety of class assignments and articles handed in for the paper, so I was to put my name on it when turning it in, so I wrote on the label: Candi's Stuff, meaning in my mind "stuff" as being whatever miscellaneous things happen to be required, but which on further reflection seems perhaps too informal for a potential work situation. I should just put my name on there plain and simple, without this casual word "stuff," especially now knowing that some people undoubtedly would be placing other connotations and meanings to this word "stuff," and adding the superfluous "nonsense" of some other context although that was not my thought at the time,  and which I had not foreseen in advance of this event, but which now seems might have been entirely predictable, especially given that other people's minds are outside of my control anyway, so it would seem that almost anything that I might say could potentially construed to mean something else anyway, so, yes, why am I doing this to myself?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem odd that I would be getting all of these emails from cultic whacko Rhonda, a mere acquaintance wherein I would not be able to recognize any depth of knowledge on these matters. You were perhaps expecting me to burst forth singing that song, "Help Me, Rhonda," but then I imagine that I would have to vomit they lyrics somehow, and that would not work for me anyway, that would be so unpleasant, besides which it would seem so rude for me to unnecessarily offer unwarranted commentary on someone else's divorce nightmare when anyway that wasn't my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember, that was so nice of Aunt Mert to send us, while we were living in Central America, packages containing many pills. Especially I remember the golden yellow gel capsules, those were Vitamin E, said to be a great thing for overall health. And there were other vitamin pills, A, B, C, D and whatever else. And after we had received the packages of pills, how could we not take the pills that were said to be so good for our overall health and well-being, even when we get plenty of vitamins naturally from our balanced diet? Anyway, I never heard of anyone taking too many vitamins, even I never was hugely fond of medicating. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, my first semester at SCC I had an unpleasant roommate situation. I was assigned to room with Dolly (MK-Pacific Islands), who was a very troubled person in need of serious counseling. At Thanksgiving break she was in a terrible car accident and her foot had to be surgically reattached to her body and soon her college time was cut short. Later Heather was asking me about her, as if I were close friends with Dolly, when actually not really, I had never met her before college and never heard from her afterwards. If someone did drive her to the pharmacy during college to get a refill on her pills, I had not remembered that and cannot say anything about who that was. She seemed to have some health condition requiring that she take pills every day, although she did not mention, how would she know, that my mother's thyroid condition requires her also to take pills daily to regulate her metabolism, but anyway, I don't really see what that has to do with Dolly's health condition and Dolly's pills. Her explanation was rather odd.   

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I know, that is so clever the way you combine all of those points in such a clever way as to completely wipe me off the map. And yet, somehow I really don't care too much. When I think about how different my life might have been but for a fluke of blood chemistry, it does not feel as if there was anything more that I could have done anyway,

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was quite a mouthful from what's-her-name Blondie, whether Dolly or Martha, whatever, and now I see she expects me to waste five years arguing some obscure point about "Wild Life in the Pacific Islands." Always so ridiculous!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was very clever of the Indians to swap for a piece of land in Coconut Creek, not far from where I live, upon which they built, what else, a casino and also a huge parking garage to accommodate all of the gamblers desirous of playing bingo or whatever it is they do over there. So how can they still be considered so pitifully poor when their games are so popular? Yes, I am sure the Indians would probably be living high on the hog by now with all of those profits to pay their own way.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember back in the early days of the establishment of the welfare program, that some people were vociferously against the idea of giving free money and food stamps to welfare mothers, but whatever, We have all become accustomed to the systemic benefits of being on the dole, and whatever. I really don't think about very often, it is the system, but you already knew that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, this word fearless is one that is often used in hyperbolic praise of heroic deeds, even if not exactly accurate. The overcoming of fear, not so much a lack of fear, is the idea in mind. A certain healthy dose of fear is a good thing to have. I fear touching a hot stove, which I did as a small child and the result was blistering, so I learned the hard way not to do that. I fear this notion of standing in front of an onslaught of incoming traffic, knowing that the certain result would be myself as roadkill. There is really nothing wrong with having a healthy dose of fear, as I would  say.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, these continuous challenges from these vicious nasty shrill Italian witches are really getting on my nerves, as if I owe something to them, when I actually I do not remember myself ever benefiting in any way from the imaginary fortunes of the unfortunate Willard, who anyway was not directly related to me. I do not consider myself in any way connected to these pathetic mafia riffraff, apart some minor incidents there were ultimately of no consequence that I should care to be reminded of their wino conventions.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I hope that you were not expecting me to pay for the crimes of the Italian riff-raff. One day during journalism class, working on the school paper, Kathy, my co-assistant editor, hit me on the abdomen and declared that I seemed to be pregnant, because, ok fine, my belly is not completely flat. I was never anorectic. And so I just shrugged that off as the most ridiculous thing, because anyway these Italians are so incredibly stupid, as if anyone is going to believe that. Ha ha ha!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember many years ago, when we were living in El Salvador, when we went to the downtown marketplace where you have to haggle about the prices, because nothing is labeled with a price, we often suspected that the price told us would be somewhat higher than that told to a native buyer, and we even had our native friend haggle for us one time to discuss the point, because there is a prejudice about white people, they assuming that all white people are rich and can afford to pay a higher price for whatever, when actually some white people are not that wealthy, but anyway, this is an automatic thing, because they have a variety of prejudices against white people, but why are we discussing this matter of finances with people who just aren't going to understand?  

Which Reminsd Me

Yes, I do remember reading somewhere that Willard Calkins ran away to the Philippines. That would have been about a hundred years ago, so no wonder that I had never heard of him. And who in their right mind would ever think of the Philippines as the place to be? Not me. Looking back on these events, I thank my lucky stars that I have no connection whatever to the Philippines.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember there is a song about how Wendy has stormy eyes that flash at the sound of lies. However, I don't think I know any Wendy whose opinion would be deserving of such an outburst of song. I am more wondering about whatever happened to Mindy Anderson, a co-worker who might remember more about George and what happened to him than I would seem to recall at  the moment. It is all very fuzzy in my mind.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I hope you were not expecting me to explain something about the affairs of Sandra and Joan. I simply have no idea of the nature of such matters. Did I say something? No, of course I never said anything. That is a narrative that comes from somewhere outside of my head.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am suddenly reminded of the time in maybe sixth grade, when I was hearing a lot of thumping and various noises of something crawling around above the ceiling of my bedroom. It turned out to be a huge iguana. During the day it would go outside and was seen sunning itself on top of the walls. They hired trappers to come and take it away. There is a picture somewhere of that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, perhaps you would be surprised to learn, after hearing all of this fanfare about the magnanimity of these mega-wealthy persons, to learn that they have never contributed anything to my finances, nor would I want to be dependent on those people anyway. I would not want to find those people crawling around in the attic of my house. I don't think that I need them for anything. I will be fine. I will figure this out eventually, without their help, because anyway obviously they are not going to do anything to help me. Needless to say.