Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is not exactly what I heard, but whatever happened, I am not going to stick my neck in that trap. Shoot yourself!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during high school I did enjoy reading that novel by Catherine Marshall, "Christy," which although not a history lesson, does give a general idea of how those Appalachian people are in the backwoods of maybe West Virginia, generically speaking, maybe a hundred or more years ago. Yes, I suppose that it could have been interesting to learn more about that later, but as it happens I never did go to Appalachia, nor do I have much interest now in remembering some fictional character that I never met, or else the ghosts of who they really were, at least not under these conditions. Sometimes there are forks in the road that we cannot return to later even if we had wanted to or even thought of doing that. I read some of her other books also, including "Something More," although perhaps the story of "more" would be wasted on you. Perhaps you would not understand. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that my family lived in San Bernardino, California, for about four years, when I was ages 4-7. During that time, while we were living in that house that belonged to the church, I was outside one day playing in the side yard and there was this black girl walking down the street carrying a big stick. I can't remember. Did I say something to her first or was she the first to yell at me? There was some sort of verbal exchange but it is all very fuzzy in my mind now.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot even imagine why I would need to discuss my personal life with your irrelevant Dixie of no interest to me. What did you do, kill the children? I don't understand what happened there, I never really heard that story told in any logical way that would make any sense to me that I would thereafter be able to comment intelligently on the topic, because at the moment I know absolutely nothing about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that pagans are often very much attached to their clutter of bric-a-brac. Far be it from me to interfere with such personal attachments, whatever the context might have been. I really have no idea what happened.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does boggle the mind to ponder how, when you are following me around so closely while juggling all of those knives and guns, how do you avoid once in a while tripping and shooting yourself using that. Because the people you are afraid I might kill, I probably am not even thinking about them at all. They just don't register very highly on the horizon from where I am.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am reminded that one of the striking differences between our Protestant churches and those of the Catholics, is the lack of statuary in the former, and the overabundance of this type of decor in the latter. Our friends from church, Conchi and Toño, shortly before we left the country, took us for a drive one Saturday and it turned out that they wanted to show us some of these Catholic shrines, so certainly I can say that I saw that with my own eyes. I am really on interested in repeating this conversation. Enough said about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that you had a roundabout way of telling me that you fought with the Fascist army of Mussolini against the United States during World War II. Does that make you something special? And then you have the nerve to make some ridiculous digs about my U.S. citizenship, as if I should have to compete somehow with your military record of whatever nature. I don't quite see what your point might be in that regards. My parents were to young to fight in WWII.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, even so, I cannot imagine there being anything of a personal nature that I would need to discuss with Carmen Calabria. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is mystifying to ponder why you think that I should care about the irrelevant ponderations of Carmen Calabria. I wasn't paying that much attention to those arrogant haughty snobs that I should be bothered letter to try to vomit whatever that meant. High school is long since over now and they are not invited to my life after high school. Goodbye!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember something that happened when I was four years old, but it didn't mean that much to me. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Mr. Long was my accountant for three years, until I decided it was way too expensive to pay for what I could do myself anyway when I am not making as much profit as I had originally expected. Strange that you would know about Mr. Long. That's not something that I would ever mention to you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I was recently reminded vaguely of the fictional story of the long-time feud between the Montagus and the Capulets, which served very well as a plot device for the dramatic effects of William Shakespeare, in the play 'Romeo and Juliet,' which we studied in high school, although beyond that it is actually a matter of complete indifference to persons of 21st century America. Nowadays nobody really imagines that those people ever really existed except in the most generic terms useful to fiction writers who sit around inventing crazy stuff, because no one really wants to be bothered with carrying out these vendettas to such ridiculous extremes of stupidity in real life, as if I should carry which tribe of dreary Italians "won." We leave these stupid vendettas to fiction writers who make up stories warning us about what NOT to do and what attitude problems will probably need serious adjustments in the future. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember years ago when I was working in Boca, there was a candidate named Al Kauffman who came to the office to be interviewed about his campaign, and while there he asked me about someone named Calkins, and I said "No relation." Apparently he was worried that I might be related to one of his clients, but it was not so. There always seem to be a handful of Calkins listed in the phone book to whom I am actually not related that I know of, really nothing so unusual about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is good to know that God forgives me for my stupid mistakes even if some other persons probably never will. There is really nothing that I can do about that, would be useless to even try at this point, why add insult to injury, better to disappear into oblivion.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem strange that you are so threateningly twisting my arm and blackmailing me and practicing bizarre techniques of extortion upon me when, after all, the only thing that you want to do is plant and grow table grapes. What is wrong with table grapes? I really fail to understand the mental contortions of these growers of table grapes. If I wanted table grapes, the grocery store is full of that anyway, overflowing to be sure. So there was really no need for you to get so emotionally distraught about the cultivation of food products. Where is your problem? Who cares?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really would not mind paying my own bills immediately, if only I could remember where to get the money, my mind is getting sort of patchy with all of these tricks going on behind-the-scenes that I cannot quite remember what happened.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I heard something about that theory of them being actually more Apaches or A-Patchy than Spanish, but I have nothing yet to pin that to.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not claiming to be a prophet, and yet I can see that your future success as a screenwriter is probably not going to happen if you persist in this reckless attempt to character assassinate me as the Crazy Hatchet Lady, as if I would ever think of going over to your house and taking an axe to your hidden stash of booze bottles. That never happened, at least not in my case, so it is somewhat mystifying to ponder based on what are these charges of looting? Not that I would want to seem as if angling to know more about what somebody else did, but even so, you cannot just blithely go around accusing us of imaginary crimes. That would stand legally.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am starting to wonder if you are reminding me of the receptionist whose other job was at the local black newspaper and was close friends with Andy, or whether you are connected to Debra Chronowitsch, who was for a short time my editor and loved to talk about her dear friend Oprah. These are persons who I barely remember their existence now after all these years. Why is this Trivial Pursuit game so obsessed with me? Why can't you find somebody else to pick apart? I have enough problems already.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that after I was transferred to the Fort Lauderdale office, a co-worker of mine there, very talkative, was telling me that he is also a private detective on the side. I hope that you weren't wasting all your money hiring him to spy on me, the thought was in the back of my mind at times, when I am the most uninteresting person that I can think of, and also I do not know anything that would be worth so much time and effort to dig around for. However, if there happened to be some report about me, that would be something interesting to read, to see how this person would interpret things in ways not necessarily helpful, and also would be a time capsule of things that I was talking about 25 years ago which I probably have completely forgotten by now.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I forget that they often mistake me for that trashy Africa bimbo who is mostly remembered for cavorting with those guys who were playing midnight basketball in their birthday suits. What was her name? I never really heard more about that, although I had not thought of characterizing her that way, but they did send her away immediately for some reason, I have no idea what happened, of course our advisors would immediately about dangers actual or potential, real or imagined, and then they are expecting me to vomit forth this garbage that they said themselves in the first place somewhere in the background. Even so, why should I be bothered with having to be forced to comment about matters of no concern to me, diplomatically speaking, by those nasty people? So thanks for nothing, creepy wicked rich people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember the time, while attending Evangel College, that I fell while ice skating hand in hand with Rob Schmidt. I never liked him after that, Kathy's later effort to get me to ask him out for Sadie Hawkins day just fell flat, sorry about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not happy about your having abandoned me to these vultures and buzzards, always fantasizing about an "it" that does not exist. I have nothing for them, there is no "it" to give. Where is my parachute? I need to find some place to get off of this crazy insane asylum.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, really, where are the social workers who are supposed to be helping those poor Araucan or Mapuche people who are being tossed around by the social upheavals of South America? Also one would think that there would be some missions or charitable groups there to minister to the needs of those people somehow, one would think, instead of all this nonsensical ranting about mountain geography.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that I am studiously avoiding these little Bee-traps they have set for me in various places. And if I start asking questions they will have caught me in their little Bee-trap, so probably that would never change, because obviously their only motivation is to "catch" me. If they had something to actually say they could always find their own channel to project whatever they think they have to say, although I cannot imagine what else that might be. I am not finding very much Araucan vocabulary of interest, beyond this one word: Yu is the Araucan word for the beak of a bird (pico de ave). And even so, so what?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is hard for me to understand why you don't just simply ask Heather what in the world was she thinking, what was her agenda, because personally I really do not plan to have myself kicked around throughout life by those nasty Italian Cats, needless to say. I simply have no idea what their problem is.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, always so easy for you in the Panama Canal Zone to boast of your patriotic prodigies. You even live  in your own separately designated U.S. neighborhoods under U.S. law, almost as if the distance from Panama to the U.S. were negligible. It was not so easy for those of us living in other countries where things were not so clearly marked out, and not working at the embassy we had no access to the embassy and its commissary shopping and all of those perks and privileges that we don't get, needless to say. No, all I got was, at school, I got stuck in this bubble of dreary Italians whom I plan to be rid of ASAP, as soon as I get back to the U.S.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember the time after Desert Biology science class and returning to my dorm room, and Cori and one of the Brooks twins, probably Marilyn, were there and Cori was telling me that they had studied together and she got a 98 and Marilyn got a 95 on the final exam, so they got As and I probably got a B. And I said that I had studied alone and that I got a 92 which actually is not a B, probably an A-minus. And when I said that they were so angry, especially Cori. She might have stormed out of the room, I don't remember. So childish those people are. But I always did prefer to study alone so that way at least I know what I know because I certainly cannot trust them for anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we recently noticed in our reading the brick that you are using to prop up your chair. Where the brick came from we have no idea so why should that matter, since you toppled your chair of your own accord and told us all about it without our even asking or wanting to know anything more about that

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember the time that Michael made that tacky joke and Martha was infuriated, and later someone was trying to make that into something more than it was, because I have no other conversation with these people that I should be drawn into their internal conflicts of which I understand very little, only that most superficial observation and nothing more.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is somewhat mystifying to ponder why would I need to have any conversation at all with anyone in New York, always so stupidly chattering about nothing of importance or consequence to me. There is nothing that I need to say about New York and its idiotic milieu of nothingness. I will not share my glory with New York. I will not share my glory with Atlanta. It's just only me. I win. The rest of you are just wrong.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it so happens that I am a culture of One, which means that I will not share my glory with another, especially not you, not to be mean about that, but there is only me, and if that means that only I win and that Blondie or whoever is thus kicked to the curb, so be it. I will not share my glory with you. You will have to find your own way of salvation.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, blondie is sometimes the most clueless yappy nuisance, not yet seeming to realize that she cannot be in control of this. Some days I feel like Data in the "Birthright" episode of Star Trek: Next Generation, when Captain Picard tells Data that he is a "culture of one" and there is nothing wrong with that. There are times when there is only me in here, not you, and so much the better for everyone.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that while I was working in Boca Raton, at a newspaper company, that I was invited to participate in a forum and explain basically what was my job title and what I do. This forum was organized by Mr. Kauffman, who at that time I don't remember, probably that was before the later political controversies and his becoming a candidate, I don't remember exactly the chronological order. And then quite a bit later someone was asking me something about Ben Kauffman and whether I knew that Mr. Al Kauffman was related to Ben, and I can only say that I am completely surprised to learn of the existence of Ben Kauffman, whose existence was completely unknown to me at the time, although more recently browsing around I learn that Ben is married to Sherry Turnbull, oh, so that is awkward, and I haven't seen Sherry since college, before she was expelled, so I really am not in touch with those people and have no idea what to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I continue to blieve that one of these days the time will be right for my avenging angel might actually appear and finish cutting off Martha's empty head, because actually there is no brain activity going on in Martha's empty head, a little parrot sometimes appears there jabbering nonsense, but there is no real thought process there. But of course we have to learn to be more careful about what we say in front of these persons who have that Chilean mental problem. They don't seem to know whether they are coming or going.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that does make you wonder what were they thinking forty years ago, and even so, so what, because all I can do is ship all of this junk back to the John Bueno family, because he started that, it was his mental problem, not mine. More recently we learned that the Elmer Bueno family also has that mental problem. Who would have thunk it? Of course you were not seriously expecting me to take the fall for those greedy takey-takers. That would be wrong. I cannot invent other facts that never existed. Sorry about that. They will just have to choke on their foul stew. But it is certainly high time they really learned how to use a dictionary and how to speak real Spanish, not only that Chilean street lingo that nobody else understands, so all things work together for good eventually to those who are called according to his purpose.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was awkward, someone was trying to cast me as the villaniness , which wasn't fair to me because actually I really don't know anything about that. I really am sort of busy living my own life and don't appreciate being deliberately tripped that way and thrown to who knows where, so that it takes me forty years to learn what that meant, and even so, so what? Life is complicated. And anyway, there are so many other things I don't know yet about that. Hopefully I will be able to evacuate the planet peacefully without further ado because I really am not in a good position to comment without knowing what I am talking about. Yet another reason to evacuate the planet, because there is nothing there for me. I would just be wandering in a wilderness wasteland of irrationality and illogic.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is sort of sad to see that Canadian Anne 'Gonzo' shot herself in the head or foot, I am not sure how that could ever happen when I know that I certainly never said anything to her about that, but that may be what happens when you get all of your wrong information from some amorphous blob sort of named Rinah of Colorado. You just have nothing. All your threats of blackmailing me — blah blah blah blah blah, you said — are so much useless garbage. I wash my hands of your worthless Rinah puke.