Which Reminds Me

Yes, I will not follow your cricket laws. Maybe I could be induced to play badminton, but definitely not crickets. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember someone telling me that Kelly Elliott was saying nasty things about me, as if were ever acquainted during high school. I do not even remember her, so I really do not appreciate her kicking up a storm of stupid stuff. I thought she was nothing, actually, just another snob probably. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not quite remembering, did I ever once check the box by which some agree to contribute a dollar to presidential elections? If I ever did accidentally tick the yes box, I really do not remember, because that never made sense to me. It is sort of confusing, where would that money really go? By doing that, would I be helping the wrong candidate? And what did the Communist party ever do for me anyway? The picture seems too confusing and blurry for me to understand. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I would never ever recommend that anyone ever sneak into his office only to flip a calendar or pull some silly prank. How did he think of doing that? And then to tell so many people means that everyone would be well informed by now of that. And we already know well that the man is such a wicked evil unforgiving person who spits poison whenever possible, so we are all bending over backwards to avoid him at all costs and to leave him completely uninformed of our whereabouts and doings, and you are completely not helping us with that. 

But my sister always was a proficient prankster in her wayward youth so it makes sense that she would have passed that along. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is always terrifying when those guys throw thunderbolts at us, as if we were their obligatory peon-slaves upon which they intend to build a monument to their own wondrefulness at our expense. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and there is the qu4stion of who is calling who a stalker. I never liked them that much to start with, but who can pick and choose who is a fellow citizen? There I was going about my business, trying to involve myself in church life, starting to meet some people and have a good time, and suddenly these people start poking me in the back, and also this guy who is barely an acquaintance, did I see him at some meeting that I had forgotten because it was not that important, and he  thinks everything is all about him, and makes it so that I have to leave just to throw him off my tracks.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember, back in the 1990s, that I was working at a newspaper in Boca Raton, and my editor Steve Ricci has some insider link to the Armenian people who owned the Pink Plaza there downtown. I only got that indirectly, wasn't sure of all his specific contacts who filled his ear with various things. And they also had a deal with the publisher. Of course, later the company was sold, the publisher died, Steve was fired, and also I left and no longer work there, so whatever their insider deal was, I have no idea. You would have to ask them, as if that were possible. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what was all that hullabaloo emanating from that smarmy lowlife Bakker idiot and his worthless Minnesota money that nobody asked for to start with? But it would not be very politically smart for me to say anything whatsoever about those power players, even if I often do congratulate myself on having zero connection to that worthless pile of dog food, even if strictly, technically speaking I am not supposed to be complacently flattering myself by comparing myself to those less fortunate wretched slobs than myself, as for example Jessica. Needless to say. I can just ignore them and pretend that I never really heard that, besides which you are obviously the allies of Sherry, whose career as a comedian is a complete failure. Sherry attended North Central, not me. Since when do I care about North Central? Not funny. NOT FUNNY. How did those people get my name and address? How do I have those scammers blocked from addressing me directly? They are not recognized here. Does not compute. Danger danger!  

Whicih Reminds Me

Yes, I really don't understand some things about there, I only know that I am really not so much Irish as some people seem to imagine judging from superficial outward appearances. Maybe 10-15% Irish, I am not sure exactly. Someone was telling me that Scotland actually has more redheads than Ireland, but who is counting on that? And living costs would be high, as compared to living in Zimbabwe or Borneo. And anyway, I do not like this idea of informing all my enemies in advance of what I am going to do or where I am going to go. Am I really that stupid?    

But life is short. Do I really have so much time left to learn another alphabet and wade through all those dreary die-a-criticals? Better to EN-joy what is left of however long I might live later, or not. Nobody can say how long they will live. 

Besides which, I do not have the same ethnic problems of those nasty Ukrainian dogs. They seem stupid to me, but maybe I just never learned to read Ukrainian so I will just never understand them.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not see how you would expect me to go anywhere with all this sand in my shoes. Heavy. 

Besides which, so insulting that you would try to attach me to Stephanie. Yuk! So insulting. Leave me out of that.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is unfortunate that I wrote those things down, only because you asked for that, not because I am thinking that all of the time, it was only an artistic license temporarily that I was given. And you can say all sorts of nasty and hateful things audibly and even silently and get away with murder and nobody cares about that. It is only the printed words that matter to you, apparently. So something is wrong with this picture.    

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I only wish I were even half as smart as you seem to imagine, judging from all of this circumstantial evidence. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a. it puzzling to ponder, why is it so difficult for me to have a private conversation with my mother, and then suddenly in the corner of my eye I notice the little Bell brat hovering nearby, eavesdropping no doubt, because anyway I was not talking to her, and she was my sister's guest so why is she not with my sister istead of she wondering around the house eavesdropping on everybody else? And anyway, wasn't she always a willing participant n all of those pranks organized against me by little sister, so not really someone to pity that much? I never get a brea, it is just always a one-way street with them. 

And why all of this pressure on mom, as if she were the dictionary? No, I should probably just look in a dictionary and not ask again. Enough about that. As if it were only a question of dictionaries.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, makes me wonder, are you one of those Mormon scammers? Don't waste my time with that. I am over that now. And can the legal authorities do something to force the Mormon scammers to return my money to me intact and without you attached? Just wondering. With interest compounded even better. 

They called me from Arizona about that, but there was really nothing they could do except advise that maybe I should not answer scammer phone calls. Where would I go to file my withdrawal request?  

But there is always my Paypal account. You could send it to my Paypal account at candijcalkins@gmail.com, also candicalkins@mac.com

But when do scammers ever repent? Who knows when that would ever happen.    

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you were asking me what political things did I hear, and what I remembered was that there was a big controversy about whether the AG were going to set themselves up for dictatorship in a world domination play, or whether they were going to somewhat deregulate and let the various countries do their own thing to a certain degree. The latter plan won the vote. My Dad always said that the missionary's job was to build up the local church to the point where the missionary would be out of a job because the local people can do their own thing now. We are no longer needed there so it is time to find something else to do. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is sort of puzzling how they would put this much energy into proving the opposite of what I said about that. But whatever. So do you ever have a thought about anything, or is just automatically the opposite of whatever I said? 

Because anyway, they (General Council) already voted on that, and the matter was already settled anyway so there was nothing more that I would need to say about that. But I already told you that.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I know they wanted me to say something about that, the problem of so many dead people and so forth, but anyway, as someone was saying, there are so many human errors anyway, and they would just cut my head off if I tried to tell them what to do, and anyway, so, yes, I am not sure when they would get a clue about that, maybe eventually. I don't know when they would get a clue about that because they just want to do what they want to do. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during our first term living in El Salvador, we were on a six-month tourist visa, so that every six months we had to drive the four hours or so to Guatemala for a short vacation and then reenter the country and get another six-month tourist visa, and so on for the three years of our first term. During our second term we were on a residence permit, I forget why that was so, and we no longer had to make the obligatory trek to Guatemala every six months, so that was nice.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, they really are having too much "fun" at the Ritz-Carlton hotel, yet another reason to never go there. But it is not my place to say. Their authorities for doing that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how could I forget my little bank book from first grade. And how much would $3 or so be worth now? Probably not that much. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that you could always slit my throat and seize the rights by eminent domain or something of that nature. Anything could happen. Who knows what could happen? All I know is that it just did mot matter that much. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that those Lebanese people were making quite a bit of noise online way back when, as if I should do something about that. They were saying that they are refusing to negotiate with a woman, so that I should not expect anything from them, and that I should not approach them except through a husband or father. So that was news to me, that I would need to negotiate about something. And also, who knows when I would ever have a husband to negotiate on my behalf, possibly never. So I suppose that those Lebanese people will just be waiting for a very long time for nothing to happen. That is all I can think about that. Only God can solve their problem, certainly not me. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I was remiss in not sending thank you cards to various gift-givers who were so kind in making an effort to do that for me. I do not know why I did not do that, but you know that I was grateful at heart, even if sometimes I do not quite know what to say about that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, when did I ever get a chance to explain that I was not interested in performing a role in the stage play, 'Revenge of the Wild Catholic Girls'? Really, I could not care less, especially when I see, anyway, that they are all utterly boring self-absorbed greedy Italians. You have your stupid Amy twit for that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really cannot imagine what I could do to help, especially since I do not know much of anything about that, only third-hand gossip. I never had a chance later to ask his daughter about that. I just have no idea. Not to mention the logistical details of finance, etc.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember during the one year that I was at Evangel College, that there was a dean there whose surname was Dean Best. So he was Dean Best. And he had a slogan, "Be the Best!" which was printed on various promotional materials. And his daughter was there in college also, a friend of mine. And toward the end of the school year he was fired due to, from what I heard, some indiscretion with some woman on his staff, I forget who she was. Who knows whether I heard that rightly. Facts tend to drift toward fiction on the gossip line, so I would not want to claim to know anything more about that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who can forget that shocking thing, it was sort of shocking in the way that she said that, Suzette describing Angie's appearance at the District Council, hanging onto Bob's arm. She seemed to think that was sort of weird, and I cannot say anything about that one way or another given that I was not there and have no other source of information on this topic. Who even keeps track of these orphanage slaves? I was not keeping track of them. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do think that the Baptists do some things right, at least they stick faithfully to the basics. And what did the Foursquares ever do for me, beyond producing this vicious nasty Charlene? And anyway, the Oneness people can't be counted on for details, everything is just one big blob of stuff to them. And if I were to go to Lee, I might get stuck in someone else's high school clique that I never wanted anyway. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember being aware, during high school, that Carmen has a rule of never watching television. Except maybe the Smurfs, she might be induced to watch some cute cartoon. But mostly she disdains people who watch television. 

And then there is the point of all that stuff that I watched on TV that maybe I shouldn't have. But anyway, I never did care to live by Carmen's rules. TV has certainly earned its place, whether good or bad is a separate point. I am really not interested in arguing this point extensively. Life is short. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember during the first year of college, at Evangel, that I lived in the dorms, in Spence 3rd North, and on the opposite end of the same hall lived Jan Chance. Jan had brought some board games to college, and once or twice three or more of us wer there in her room playing board games. I remember that I made my move on the board, and then I was accused of cheating, and so I had to pull out the rules book and show where in the rules I can do that, and so that is what I did, and then she would calm down for a while. And I think that happened more than once, and it became a bit it became somewhat tiersome to have to yet again explain the rules of the game. How can you not know the rules of the game by now? A broken record sort of thing.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whose crazy idea was it to sell the land to those horrible people. But they are not my problem now. I could not care less about that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing that there was an insurrection, but that happened after I had already left  maybe some months or years later, and the rumor I heard was that they were told to wait and be pacified because even though they don't like the idea of my getting the money, they will be the staffers in control of the money, so it really would not matter if I had the money or not, it would just all be their money and I would have nothing to say about that anyway. They might as well just write out the check directly to them and not bother me with that imaginary nightmare. 

And also, they are such fakers. Who is to say they were every going to give me any money? Maybe it was jsut a ploy of some sort, and don't they talk out of both sides of their mouth anyway? Whose money would that be anyway? Where would that come from? What unwanted strings would be attached to that? And I never even asked them for money. And why can't they really explain what they actually said instead of sending out all of this cloud of wrong information, and they think they can get away with saying any old thing, whatever, and nobody is going to double-check anything they say. Yes, so, what is truth?      

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I would like to reserve the right to remain silent and withdraw from the planet without further ado, given that, anyway, I am only a caricatured figment of their fevered imag8inations.  

I really do not like looking back all the time and seeing those sucky things nattering away. This picture is not quite right. Don't they have any good ideas in their own minds that they have to suck on me?  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we sort of noticed that you sort of ate the Butlers, and what about that? And all you are is a pile of worthless Tinker junk, and still you sit there yapping in that misleading way of yours, as if people were going to fall naively and credulously into your cash crop joke. Ha ha ha! 

And if you are so clever, think on about how to resolve this financial crisis that you have thrown upon me.   

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I have noticed now and then how you are trying to insert that phrase "red-headed stepchild" somewhere in this narrative. So ridiculous. And I never had the slightest connection whatsover to your horrible trailer trash ex-wife from Georgia. Huh? Absurd. Yuk!  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Lori Way was a college classmate, who married another college classmate, Al Moore, but nobody cares about that now, at this late date. Just because these Lebanese assume the name of Moore, that does not make them related to the English Moores. Just because we are the descendants of Amanda FitzAllen Moore, that does not mean that those other Lebanese Moores have any valid claim to tell me something about nothing much. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I did notice, maybe I forgot to mention that I noticed that you wold your soul to the Devil. There is a point of no return, where I can no longer try or attempt to extract you from the dangerously downward path that you are treading. Who knows whether we will ever meet again in this lifetime. I just have no idea. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not remember myself expressing much of any opinion at the time, having heard of an event that was much too shocking to process in only a moment. The consequences later could be very long lasting. Needless to say. But perhaps Ann would have other thoughts on this matter, I have no idea. But of course Ann is Canadian so maybe you would want to try to strain Ann's comments through a U.S. citizen, given your particular notions of who can say what.  So what did they say? Maybe you could start by telling me what they said.  

What? Did you think that my name was Daniel? No, obviously not.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, she was telling me about some people in our high school who call themselves the Spartans. And also she was telling me that she had witnessed two guys fighting, maybe it was near the entrance outside the school, or else on the sports field, I forget what she said about that. She did not mention the names of the two guys so I really would not have anything useful for a courtroom scenario. And also Anne Campbell had walked over and was saying something about the family jewels. Two guys in a right — the family jewels — oh! Still, you would have to ask them for the details. It was not my job to interrogate them for legal purposes. But they were very chatty. It was hard to detach myself from the chatterboxes. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who would ever imagine that evil hissy snake Carmen, always sneering at me throughout high school, as if I were some sort of Appalachian white trash, so ridiculous considering who is saying that,  was actually a special project of Miss Murphy and the Benner family. They certainly do throw a lot of money around for some mysteriously unknown reasoe, and that puts me in a bind because anyway wasn't Miss Murphy my fourth grade teacher and there were some other church relationships tied up in that so it is hard for me to find a place to say something about that. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing that some of those people consider themselves the "Spartans," preferring to identify themselves with those Greek people who were famous for their warrior feats. I do not know much else about them, only that they are fond of calling themselves the Spartans. Was that a social clique or some private club. I just have no idea. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember when we were living in El Salvador, that some people were telling us some Molina jokes that were sort of bad, you feel guilty laughing at the punch line, thanks for that pile of nonsense. But in the interests of diplomacy, sometimes one has to take people as they are, not as how you might wish they would be latter after they become more mature in their Christian faith. And also it is necessary to remember that their sense of humor is different than ours. And also there are other lower levels of humor that, anyway, it is just not worth the effort of trying to remember the jokes with such irrelevant specificity. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot imagine there being anything that I would need to discuss with the rageaholic whackos of NYC. But I digress. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during our 1976 fall retreat, our main speaker was named Jim Hall. His parents were well-known missionaries in Africa. 

And to jump from that to a Fawn Hall story would be a bridge way too far for us to cross. Never. I would never have any idea what that was about. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whatever happened to Card Shark Crawley? Oh, but she changed her name when she married Mr. Notman, plus she has loads of money so that she can broadcast some annoying stuff online, while easily evading the authorities  who might otherwise be interested to learn more about her witchcraft connections. I do not know anything about that. I only heard some odd things online. Why so defensive about hiding that name? Why is Notman's head not the one displayed on a platter? That would be interesting to see.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really would rather not waste my breath talking about her, even though everyone may be bored stiff by now of her constant caterwauling, always the same thing, blah blah blah. I might still have a tennis raciket stored away in my closet, but I do not know when I would ever play tennis again at me age. Anyway, it just did not matter that much. It was only a tennis racket. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that was your idea for me to move to Appalachia to fix those ornery stubborn mountain people. But of course that never happened. What lousy ideas you had for me. When are you going to get a clue and stop bothering me with your lousy ideas? 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that he said, referring to the photograph on his student ID card, that his face looks like such a dark ink blot there, with almost no distinguishing features that may be discerned in that. But I would only be repeating what I heard he himself saying while presenting his ID card to the cashier at the college bookstore, myself being among those persons standing in line behind him. It was sort of funny the way he said that himself at the time, ID photos are all usually not that great anyway, but I would not want to have to say that for him.