Which Reminds Me

Yes, one can easily imagine that the finer points of a fairy tale would fly right over the head of such an illiterate peasant bimbo as yourself, who spends most of her time addicted to shows portraying Survival in Borneo. You may yet achieve your Borneo culture, if you continue with these slash and burn tactics, yet what is survival in that context?

Which Reminds ME

Yes, I vaguely remember that you were berating me for having read fairy tales in my youth. Well, yes, I cannot say that I had gone through that phase of reading fairy tale books that were in our library, although I cannot quite remember which ones. After a while they all start sounding the same, all those stories about witches and wizards and fairies and magic. But to seethe with hatred at the very thought of reading fairy tales seems a bit overmuch. What are you going to do when a flying saucer lands on your head? But I digress? 

But the fad for collecting mythology and folk tales, so raging in the 19th century, has somewhat passed. Libraries are chock full of books of folk takes and fairy stories. Probably yours are nothing new so nobody is clamoring to interview you about that. Probably we can find your folk tales or similar already recorded in the library anyway. 

Besides, who can approach the fairy stories of Knatchbull, a sort of distant cousin to the Montagus of England. 

And anyway, didn't William Shakespeare already record, beautifully, in Romeo and Juliet, which we studied in high school, the saga of the dueling Montagus and Capulets, thus showing how those people fight each other like cats and dogs, so what more can we foreigners expect to get from that? 

Shakespeare was kind to Juliet, whereas it is said that alternate histories are not so kind to Juliet. But who is keeping track of that? 

If the fairy tales of Knatchbull really bother you, does that make you a Capulet? And what have we to do with either side of that ancient feud of no interest to us. We have other things on our minds.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing some brat screaming about how they are going to Helter Skelter the books, and something about Sharon Tate their victim. Which books? Since when do I learn all of these booking secrets that nobody really told me about? How many times do I have to tell them I don't know anything about that? Last time I checked, the library books are probably still sitting there on shelves, with their alphabetically composed pages yet intact, in some other library, yet to be used by other people. So just putting on a show of destroying books does not necessarily solve the problem of human nature. Obviously. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who can forget the enduring popularity of Mrs. Nixon in the annual survey of most popular woman in America, as presented in Good Housekeeping magazine, to which my mother was a loyal subscriber for  so many years. One would think that these people would thank us for exporting such good housekeeping tips and recipes and recommendations, a hallmark of American life and culture, to these other countries that do not enjoy the benefits that we have enjoyed, but whatever.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Irene was the repository of some very alarming scuttlebutt about the company and its organization, but that was before she was fired. I became every nervous about this comfortable well-paying job at a company with all of these possible issues, although maybe not, perhaps it depends on who you are talking to at the moment, but Irene made it sound like everybody was against them, but then again they survived somehow anyway so maybe Irene doesn't know everything, and mabye neither do I. Maybe I shouldn't say anything about them, let God do what He wants to do to work things out without my unwanted interference. Maybe that is how I should carefully remove myself from that  situation without making everything worse., because anyway there are many things that I don't know about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I sure am glad that Lori Logan told me that sad story on herself about her lost job. Now I have at least half a clue about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, suddenly I am reminded to ask whatever happened to Lori Logan, whose family at one time lived near here. Several years ago the Logans moved away to Atlanta and there is really nothing all that interesting to say about them. While working at the bank Lori tried to take the money home with her, but that was not the right idea. The money has to stay in the bank, not at the Logan house.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I noticed that Jimmy's sister is married to the Hills family, so you are just stuck with the boring dreary boxed-in Hills  box, they are always yammering online as if Russian spies fishing for more. However, that would not be my problem. Needless to say. Don't ask me any questions. This is not the time and place to be discussing family business.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that some little brat was trying to throw me to whatever Jimmy, whether Baker or Swaggert seemed to matter not, but anyway it was only some little brat making some useless points about nothing much. Why do I have to bother to explain that I never had the slightest connection to the Baker operations of Charlotte? I never went there whether before or after and don't know much about that, not planning to go there any time soon.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it was necessary for me to cook a sort of hamburger patty for the first time, and, oh, you have to flip it  over and cook the other side also or the one side remains too raw to be edible. So that was awkward.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that later, it was somehow arranged that I babysit the two girls one afternoon, perhaps it was their maid's day off, and so I did that, awkwardly perhaps, because I don't know how to cook and I was to make lunch, and later I heard back that the girls did not like me and that in future they would prefer the maid's cooking, which I can't cook anyway so, OK, fine. They are already paying a full-time maid to take care of themselves anyway, so it did not make much sense for them to be involving me in their private drama. Eventually I will learn how to cook, when I have to eat myself, but maybe not soon enough for their convenience.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that did seem a bit weird the way she was talking about that in front of several people, not only me, not necessarily talking directly to me, but we all heard that. But when you stop to consider that she was, what, 4 years old, 7 years old, I don't remember exactly, but it is sort of awkward to know what to say about other people's children. They don't necessarily take kindly to their children being run down by other families so we have to be careful what we say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am quite amenable, perhaps you will be surprised to know how amenable I may be, to the notion of myself stepping aside, and allowing the Italian witches to choose their own preferred Grand Witch Helen to "make" them, because obviously I am not going to be able to compete with that. I must find my own chair in the audience to watch how that works for them, because obviously that is not my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am vaguely reminded of the one time when, with Susie, we visited the Miramar house of the Thomson family, and there is not much to say about that. Susie knows everybody so you can probably get much more information about Miramar from Susie. I was only brought along for the ride. I really don't much about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Grandma Calkins seemed to be having a rather intense conversation with that lady, was she a Samoan, who lived down the street from them in Oceanside. However, I cannot remember anything specific about that. Grandma Calkins was sometimes a very intense person in her own way.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, so you didn't get the memo. Your plan was to swap me for hasty Italian Barbara Coachella from Dummies class, so that is the only thing that you can get, because you are speaking through the trash phone.

Which Reminds Md

Yes, I certainly cannot imagine myself having any business at the courts, that I would need to go there, especially given that Christian don't really sue each other anyway. Sometimes when you are wronged you just have to swallow that or grin and bear it or something. Suing is a business for some other people of the lower levels, or the groveling lower echelons who don't much, or else the actual victims who would have lawyers to represent them, and would know what they are talking about, which would not be me. So don't be saying that so pointedly, as if to lay upon me some weird Dakota curse, when actually that is not me. I can't speak for my distant relatives, don't know much about it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember how Tim Trippy would always greet me, after hello or how are you, with the comment and/or question: "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" To which question there is no answer. Ultimately, these cats are destined to be set apart in a room full of rocking chairs, where they will never know what hit them, but these matters are for a future time, not this moment, so for now we must struggle on through this earthly lfie.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that while I was attending Evangel College, during the second semester, I completely forget why I was called in to a sort of courthouse situation in the hall of the dorm, and was made to sit in front of everybody, and I was told that they had not voted for me, and so, Ok, fine, I had nor realized that I was running for  some type of election, I had thought that I was merely attending college like everybody else. But, Ok, fine, I can leave rather than sit there forever listening to the idiotic rantings of evil wicked witch Dakota dog Pam. I can leave and then those crazy people will all be fired from running my life into the ground.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that when I was attending Evangel College, one of the girls on my floor was Sue Waliganda, who was said to be Ukrainian, and she was a nice person, I don't really remember having any problem with Sue. I don't really know what private conversation she might be having with Marge Couch from Oklahoma. I was not privvy to their private conversations at the time so I really don't quite see what that has to do with the price of tea in China.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot quite understand why you imagine that I don't get something about that. My losses being preordained by the fateful facts of my birth, where I was born and various flukes of DNA blood chemistry and complexion, by a pack of Swedish-Venezuelan road hogs who have a Nobel reading list that I mostly can't read, etc. etc., I see no reason to uselessly flail against the inevitable successes of vicious Blondie Broomstick, myself not necessarily seeing any reason to dispute the probably dubious and unwanted prize thus secured by her.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sad to see that you are in cahoots with that silly nitwit Dogpatch Dolly. As for myself, I often congratulate myself on NOT being some pathetic Dogpatch idiot, but to each his own. Oh, did I make some misleading comment that confused you on this point? But you should not be relying on the Funny Papers for all of your higher learning. There really is no substitute for systematic learning, Dogpatch is not a place worth mentioning.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that when I published my fictional short story in the high school newspaper, in the last issue of the year, shortly before high school graduation, there was some sort of hullabaloo, the result of which was a private meeting of myself with an actual authority figure, Miss Marken, my English literature teacher, who advised that in future any fiction written by myself should, whenever published, be clearly labeled as fiction, so that if I should happen to write a novel, that should be clearly labeled as NOVEL, and so forth, so that people will not be confused about whether that would ever happen.

Yes, I suppose that if I had nothing etter to do while waiting around for something to happen, I could go to the shopping mall and watch the various people walking in the halls and occasionally stepping aside to avoid colliding in the hallways of the shopping mall. But to impose upon these people various thoughts and motivations drawn from my own imagination would be a step too far. That would be something to label as fiction, And if I were to publish whatever fiction might occur to me, I would immediately have a pack of annoying critics nipping at my heels. And that would be ridiculous to hear my literary merits criticized by dumpy dog Judy Hills, who spent her entire high school career glued to the side of worthless Tom, so what brain cells would she have in her empty head?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do vaguely remember David's fascination with the Al Capp and his Dogpatch characters. David has some family connections in New York who are related to Al Capp somehow, I never really understood the details of that, someone who does funny radio broadcast programs, they explained that at the time but I forget. I have no other information about the Dogpatch drama. Thus, all information about Dogpatch must be sought directly from David, because I really have no idea.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is somewhat mystifying to ponder the question of why is someone's stupid horrible grandmother always screaming at me, as if I were ever a teacher at their grandchildren's school. Absolutely NOT. You could not pay me enough to work for that whacko idiot who lives in some ficttionalized La-La Land.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, weird how you say that as if I were in cahoots with Ann from Canada. She was in our school but, anyway,, I never "bought" that stuff from anyone, don't quite see where that is coming from. It was an unfortunate yet inadvertent accidental collision.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, ha ha ha! what a joke, Wicked Witch Debbie masquerading as the Queen of the Universe. She will be disappointed to learn that her rules don't apply to me, her shade of lip gloss will not work with my complexion, so obviously perhaps she did not get the memo, she was not hired by us.