Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am vaguely aware that graham crackers have an important in the historical food museum. However, I believe that we have nothing of that in our pantry at this time.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whatever happened to that horrid Mexican dog Becky Gonzalez and her sister. I do not care to be reminded of their existence.

Oh, the things that girls will do to prove that they are not such Dutch dogs. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

I do not recall myself being under any obligation to accept the charges of your collect call to nowhere. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

The only Elena that I can think of was attending CLC church, where she once sang a solo, "God Will Make a Way," before she moved away to Texas, maybe Houston or Dallas, where she was planning to attend T.D. Jakes' church, The Potter's House. Ok, so that's nice. Good song but Texas is so far away. I cannot imagine I would ever have occasion to go there any time soon.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem unfortunate that I might someday talk about something, and even if I was not the one who was talking about that particular thing, you will still find some way of tacking to me whatever that was. So, whatever. I don't need you either.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing Lori Way having a huge argument with her mother about how everybody goes dancing, why can't she go dancing, as if that were somehow a critically important issue worth dying for. Actually, not. I really don't care that much about reconnecting to that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, in some ways I suppose it seems fair to you that I might have to pay the price for whatever my grandparents did 70 years ago, it is not clear how they overcame that. So likewise whatever your grandparents did will come back to haunt you later. Ok, fine. I don't feel like I deserve anything anyway so fine, kill me. I don't need that anyway. It was a gift from my grandparents but if a gift has to be earned then maybe I don't deserve anything anyway.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was a little gumbo cartoon on TV about "Kill Bill" but I can't quite remember the details of that, only something about a time to Kill Bill. I will not really need Bill for anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was some talk about the issue of machismo in Latin culture. Of course, it is not only the men. There is also the problem of the type of women who enable that type of extremist behavior. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely recall that Rick Snell was there in El Salvador masquerading as a VIP. We never asked the Snells to give us money, so there is no reason for that dirty skunk Rick to always go around screaming about how he is not going to pay me. I never liked Rick anyway. There might be a biblical time to kill Rick, but that would not be my problem. I couldn't care less about Rick's worthless money.

Which Reminds Me

All of this noise gives a very confused impression of what actually happened, which was not really anything like that. Needless to say. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember the time that Rosanne accused me of giving her the evil eye. Huh?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, nobody can live for long in a house with a roof that is leaking. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

More than 35 years ago, back in ancient times of Oakland Park, there was a party at the Emory’s house and some of us who went there were after a time were told that we have to leave now because we are not invited to the session that Jennie is hosting for Italian girls only. So I left and probably just went home is all. Yes, it does seem a bit odd this tedious show of NOT inviting me to their private party. And yet perhaps you are surprised to learn that I really did not care about that, I feel that I did not miss anything important, I don’t need that, will be fine without that. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

You know good and well that I never took any stapler home from work, you ignorant nincompoop. What would you know about persons who accidentally stapled their own finger? Why are you asking me about matters that are none of your concern? Were you there in high school when I was hearing the cries of pain? Outside in the barnyard? There is nothing more to say about matters that have already been corrected. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, when we were living in El Salvador, Central America, during high school, we lived near the major cross streets of Calle Gabriela Mistral and Boulevard de los Heroes.

Incidentally, someone sent me a huge online message about how they are going to throw me into Gabriela Mistral, the Chilean poetess who won the Nobel Prize but also had a lot of personal problems. No, actually I have never studied her works, lived near a street of that name is all. Don't know anything about her. So you won't be very successful in that attempt. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Ok, so you are saying that American cities are in agreement now that Christmas displays should be relegated to private property, because nobody wants to get entangled in your private Jacobs family squabbles. Ok, fine. Nobody wants to invite threatening letters from the ACLU and get entangled in endless lawsuits that cost too much money and make people have to delve strenuously into religions matters that are better left to personal discretion. That makes sense to me. I was not planning to continue this argument outside of workday hours. Needless to say .

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is weird, why am I getting all of these weird online messages from some person unknown to me purporting to by the name of Wendy? We never met. I am not aware of your existence. It would not seem proper for me to be communicating online with some person so removed from my existence. I am not such a fan of the Hoosiers as you seem to imagine. Hope that you know how to knit your own stockings because I will not be available to help with that. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem that someone forgot to tell the boring Riffle-Raffle deadbeats where is the exit door. You stiffed us once, shame on you. Stiff me twice, shame on me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, whatever happened to that Jewish reporter who worked for the rival newspaper while I was at my first writing job for the Haines City Herald. Our paper was the underdog, a sentimental favorite of the locals who knew its history, whereas her paper was the big city Lakeland paper owned by the NYT company. Years later, I heard her online complaining that I was too competitive, that I should actually not do my job and sit back and let her have all the news scoops. Which, Ok, is fine with me, in fact, why should I bother to work at a job in which I get no credit for whatever I get right and they got wrong. Incidentally, her last name was Jacobs.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Ed was the vice president of Vida Publishers and married Patty Robertson, who was his secretary, and then they were traveling around the country working and working for a Christian company, and then suddenly something happened and then suddenly we heard that they were divorced and Patty went home to San Jose and Ed went to Virginia Beach and became a New Age guru, which is hard to imagine a more bizarre out come to their story.

Coincidentally, Edgar Cayce's headquarters is located in Virginia Beach. Edgar Cayce was that occultist who in the 1930s had some sort of strange dream about the sphinx and about some library or hall of records located underneath the sphinx. Well, now we have heard that there actually was something under the sphinx, although perhaps somewhat indirectly, maybe the facts were not exactly the way he imagined it in his dream, but there really was something there. Interesting.

But who can we believe? With all of these lying spirits out there driving everybody crazy, what is there to believe about that?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who were those evil witches who were saying online that they are so ashamed of how they got their money, that they are going to give it all to me? But of course they love their money more than me, so that could never happen. Needless to say. Why insult my intelligence with all of these ridiculous promises of money?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember hearing a male voice online complaining about Dawn sending out seductive signals, and something about the material of her dress being too thin, almost gauzy transparent. Oh, I really had not noticed that previously, and even if so, I would not want to be caught dead parroting that. I would not know what to say about that. Dawn was not so much my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Ok, so maybe Sammy did not like the straw bag that I was carrying when I made my departure at the airport. Well, it seemed convenient at the time for toting my stuff, although I do not think that I still have that. I probably gave that away at one time or another. Sorry to disappoint.

And maybe Sammy could refresh our memories on all of those Vanity Fair references. I really was not so advanced in witchcraft that I would be able to keep track of all their junk.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember having said that my own mother is the most wonderful mother in the world. Your mother might be a very nice person as well but I always will think that my mother is the best. But of course I would never say that just to pick a silly needless argument. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how odd! Why is my mailbox cluttering up with all of this junk mail from Dawn and Craig? We were in school together years ago but I have not seen Dawn since 10th grade. That was a very long time ago. One might logically assume that they have long since returned to their roots in Vancouver, Canada, but then again I never really had that much communication with them. Only through the Stewarts do we seem to remain in touch with those people. Susie sometimes tells us news of Mrs. Richardson having gone to Africa and that Dawn now lives in Washington state, where she is married and has five or six children. Susie knows all about them, so why don't you just ask Susie?

Also, on another occasion I heard that the Sawords have received "special" protection from Sharon in Seattle because they feel themselves persecuted by someone. Personally speaking, I cannot imagine why they would need "special" protection. What happened? What did they do? Whatever it was, I only know that I don't really care that much about what they do. But anyway I don't know everything. Who are their enemies? Do they know who their enemies are? Not me. I only know that their enemy is not me. I really don't care that much about keeping track of them that I should take the bait and go running around screaming like a chicken with my head cut off.

Which Reminds Me

Had I tried I could not have planned that, and anyway the thought had not crossed my mind. And then you thought you could use that against me? Why, you filthy dirty mutts. No one asked you to self-destruct, but obviously too many episodes of "Mission Impossible" and other television horrors rerunning inside of your empty head, 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is that theory that our great-grandfather, Henry Strickland, was part Cherokee Indian, although what percentage of that I really don't know. My cousin Karen knew something about that but I cannot quite remember what she said. The details of that are not clear to me. Even so, so what? I don't look like an Indian. I don't feel like an Indian. Chalk it up to the American melting pot. Just another American mix of the non-descript variety.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is unfortunate that I have to expand all of my energies to fend off these bizarre attacks of mentally retarded screaming idiots such as Judy Umstead who probably lives in Pennsylvania, although I really wouldn't know. I have no connection to Pennsylvania that I would be able to comment intelligently on the irrational screaming fits of Judy.