Which Reminds Me

Yes, actually I think that I might have glimpsed or at least heard of the photos of John in Central Park. Even so, I do not see what that has to do with the price of tea in China.

Which Reminds Me

Yes I heard, you want me to go to New York so that you can yank me around on a Libby chain. Libby gets PR, so I can only get Cuba or DR, but no PR. With Libby's invisible rules in force, I will suddenly find myself yanked around on a Libby chain. So obviously I will not be thinking of going to New York. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

I cannot be expected to know what my former roommate might have discussed with someone when they were out somewhere doing something. I just don't care about reconstructing Blondie's private conversation with Mr. Wrong. I don't know anything. How can I reconstruct what I never heard or saw?

Which Reminds Me

I am extremely reluctant to even take another glance at, much less post, my 12th grade high school term paper on the topic of overpopulation, an assigned topic that surely was so boring to rack my brain trying to think of something to say about it, besides which I doubt that my brain was fully developed at the time, who knows what crazy thing I might have said at the time just to stretch it out to the required 20 pages, and also I was not writing that with Mr. Scissorhands in mind as my reader. I will have to rethink this idea of writing in future, given your penchant for mangling whatever I might say about anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, "With Six You Get Eggrolls" might work as the premise for your fictional movie and/or novel which features that blond lady. Even so, that said, we already know that you always go to that other Chinese restaurant, not really the place where we can get the good stuff. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

When Ed came to work at Life Publishers, a Christian publishing house, he had previously worked at some cosmetics company, maybe Revlon, and he jokingly made some comment about where is our girl of the month or year because at Revlon every year they have their new model or cover girl hired for the year to come in to their board meeting and make a show about the products they are selling or their advertising campaign or something about that. Which I suppose begs the question of whether Ed was acquainted with Mr. Wroth, also a former Revlon man who is now the president of Intra-Publix, not that we would even think to ask about that sort

Which Reminds Me

Who are you to lecture me on matter of party politics, you who sold out to the Republican Party because you cannot run for president without a party that does not want you anyway? I am not so devoted to party politics as you seem to imagine. Perhaps this explains a growing independence of party, so as not to be mowed over by the shifting tides of political machines that have nothing to do with me anyway.

Which Reminds Me

You have pushed to our awareness the existence of Earnest Elmo Calkins, coincidentally of the same last name as us, and yet we have no idea who this person was. Only from Wikipedia do we learn that, oh, he was an advertising executive from Illinois, but I have no idea how he connects back to Hugh who arrived in 1640. That is a long time ago to figure out why we are getting all of these weird phone calls from Intra-Publix Advertisers of New York, who apparently imagine that they swallowed the brand of Calkins and Holding into their megalomaniacal infrastructure, as if we even knew anything about that. We never applied to be an artistic role model for them, that we should be bothered to reply to that. Publix is a place to buy groceries, not a place for sewing classes.

If I am not descended from Earnest, does that require me to always be flip and/or flippant? I think not.

I cannot seriously be expecting to bother to go up to New York to kick around some arrogant add-on butts to knock off your annoying blocks. I cannot afford that. Stop harassing poor little me. Where is my paycheck?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you really were not seriously expecting me to embrace the role of governess to your noxious little mockingbird, coincidentally named ____. What was her name? That would just be too much of a job without a salary, without insurance, without a backup if anything goes wrong. Needless to say. If you are so smart alecky as you say, then you will have no need of me to figure it out for yourself. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Strange how back in the old days of Oakland Park, only the members of the five clique never seemed to get that everyone is getting very bored of their cliquey rotten attitudes. Nobody really cares what they do in their private excursions and anyway they talk too much without really knowing anything. We are not going to have those dreary bores running our lives, needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Only by some Internet sleuthing did I figure out that Heather's husband was a Czech. Even so, I really could not care less about getting a Czech. I only care about checks, especially paychecks.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what was all that nonsense about Jane Why-man or was it Jane Fondue? Something about the ex-wives of rich men. Even so, I really have no Hollywood insider connection at all so I really would not know what to say about that. I cannot say that I never watched television at one time or another, might be aware of some other Janes, but where did that come from?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what is this wickedness plotted by Joan-Kathy against Heather? I really could not care less. Let us all sit back and watch how these Italian girls slit each other's throats. It is not like I have any reason to care about their private party.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I know, it is embarrassing to find in the documents of the ancestors a very strange and low poem trashing one's co-worker, presumably Italian, although I am not sure what that means. I really have no idea what that was about. I would rather not think about what that might have meant. It is just there taking up space and, knowing that it has already been widely circulated anyway, to throw it away would mean that the generations to come could be blindsided by these vengeful hateful nasty Italians who already despise us no matter what we did or did not do. Better to evacuate the planet and let the remaining chips fall where they may, because it isn't fair to expect me to pay for the crimes of them. If I had done that, but I didn't do that, so, goodbye.

Which Reminds Me

In 1976 I spent one entire week in Colorado with my family on summer vacation. We were with another family and we rented a vacation house there in Estes Park, in the Rocky Mountains. We attended some great concerts there and also did some sightseeing in the Rockies. There is not much else to say about that now.

But you probably already knew that. You sound like you get all of your information from Susie, which makes you just another little parrot of Susie. You probably think that Susie is the definition of everything: Yak yak yak. Blah blah blah. Chatter chatter chatter. But we have other things going on that you really would not understand. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what was the name of that girl who was the girlfriend of Becky's brother? I only saw her that one time at that party at their house and that was the only time that I ever saw those people. Becky or her sister made some derogatory comment about her. Thanks for the party but I cannot remember one more thing about them. If some other fanatical person should happen to go after them, I really cannot say anything that would "help" to protect them from their own problematical existence. To even try would only make matters worse, so obviously I am not going to try to do that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am always less than impressed with the idiotic rantings of Dana from San Diego. Get off my back, you annoying piece of trash. I owe you NOTHING.

Which Reminds Me

That mountain I am told is rightfully called the Picacho and does not deserve to be categorized as a peak and/or pico because it is not of sufficiently large and massive size to warrant such a description. A picacho is a smaller sort of rocky crag, a pile of boulders. whereas a pico is a massive mountain of higher altitude. That was how I understood the meaning of that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during college at SCC, during a desert biology field trip class held during the January term, which I attended for the science credits, one of our outings was in Arizona, climbing the Picacho Peak which is located just off Interstate 10 west of Tucson.

Yes, that was all I really needed. The proper name of the mountain was picacho, not really pico. Ok, fine. I stand corrected. At the summit of Picacho Peak we signed our names to a book that was there in a metal box for mountain climbers who want to leave a record of their accomplishments, although I cannot recall whether I signed that. Thank you, California and Arizona, for that coordinated setting straight of the record. Nothing more needs to be said in regards to that.

Thus, it really only adds to the confusion, this attempt of Colorado to tack Pike's Peak onto the record. That really means nothing. Colorado has never contributed a dime to pay for my lavish tours of Europe, swanky hotels and expensive restaurant dining, generous tips and airfare, not to mention the literary obscurities of foreign languages. No, we get nothing from Colorado. On the contrary, Colorado's demand for an Order of the Kitchen Sink while legalizing weed only strains and drains our limited resources on a continual basis. Where was I supposed to find that? I don't need that for anything. There are only so many hours in the day, only so much time.

Something similar could be said about the useless efforts of some other states. We are just not going to do some of that. If you are so rich as you claim to be, then you can buy your own kitchen sink at your local Home Depot. We are not wanting to seem to condone that type of kitchen sink lifestyle. We have to understand our own limitations and where to draw the lines and be allowed to cut things off these people when they are going too far. I really don't feel like I need your approval because I am not your slave.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we already know about the unspeakable things that India does to its single women. Needless to say, we are not going to be taking our cues from that.

Which Reminds Me

So you blew your wad at that cheapskate dime store Montgomery's Wards. Well, La de dah! We are less than impressed with your lack of taste and style in that regard. Blah blah blah! All the more reason not to take the fall for you. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why should I have to pay for the unknown crimes of persons unknown to me? I have no idea what you are talking about. What, am I the police authority in the room, that I should have to feel myself required to say something about what I know nothing of? Just shocking me into some whatever response with your bizarre commentaries is not enough to implant here the facts of the case. You have to explain yourself or else just leave me out of the equation because your math is wrong.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and I am really NOT the person who actually said that about Jennie. Which makes us wonder who did, and also to marvel on the clever way you have of shoving your own wording out through someone else's mouth, as if you were not the person who originally said that.

Which Reminds Me

Correction: Yes, I agree that it would probably not be appropriate to categorize Jennie in the canine category of animal.

That said, I am feeling SO insulted that you are obliquely trying to drag me into her worthless-to-me pile of garbage without really explaining what happened or why I should care about that. Yes, I should probably find a kinder way of explaining what I mean.

I resent being provoked to comment on matters of no concern to me, simply because she happened to attend the same college many years ago, as if I would even remember anything to say about her other than that she was a noisy cheerleader. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sometimes I think that I hear another question in the background: How does a clueless bimbo Italian chatterbox cheerleader with a Ph.D. in underwater basket weaving find a career path that matters? Well, you were not seriously expecting me to defend the dogs of Kerus? I was really not paying that much attention to what they do. Let them speak for themselves, if they can.

Which Reminds Me

Coincidentally, Columbus Day is also my mother's birthday.

Which Reminds Me

Tell her that I may have found her one-way ticket home to Argentina where she may finally see clear to get her dirty moneyed butt out of my face. For what do I need these nasty Conehead whiners, money or not?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, the thing about True Confessions is that they really have to be true or they are just a manifestation of your own sick mind. No reason to revisit the True Confessions shelf when we already know that you are a complete liar with not a grain of truth to show for it. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I think that we are all curious to know why they think that they are going to take my children? I do not have any children so I won that game already, needless to say. So why continue repeating that same old mantra? You sound like a broken record.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing something about how my great-grandfather might have felt sort of bad about not being able to serve in the U.S. military, but after all he was a 42-year-old minister with seven children in 1917, during WWI, when all males ages 18-59 had to fill out a draft card whether or not they would actually be selected to fight in the war. That duty was more for the younger men with fewer complications, one might easily imagine.
 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we all love typing away on our Apple Macs, even though we never had any personal connection to the late Steve Jobs. I have no idea of anything else to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

More recently, upon reading great-grandmother's diaries, the few times that she makes a note of what she is watching on television, it is a wildlife program. One might assume that would be something sponsored by the Mutual of Omaha people, but also there is a possibility of a National Geographic special, always popular, so cute, all the little lemmings suicidally throwing themselves off a cliff into the sea.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I sometimes imagine that I hear in the background Kelly Mac and her cousin Molly: Blah blah blah! Yak yak yak! She seemed like a nice person in college but one never really knows about these people. We never really talked about anything that I should need to reconnect later outside of a context of official alumni activities, assuming that she graduated two years later. Anyway, I never really heard of her career rocketing away that I would need to feel intimidated about nothing much. Some people by their much noise distract attention from the point of their own career stagnation. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, more recently I remember reading in great-grandmother's diaries, where she describes visiting South Carolina to visit the family of her son Ben, who lived there in the 1960s. She only mentions family there. Later, they returned to Northern California, and South Carolina is never mentioned again  in connection with anything. Nothing is known of South Carolina to explain why these people imagine that we would remember them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it might seem easy to you to say that we should unlock the story of Rose now that the emotions of the moment have dissipated. Easy for you to say when part of that is locked up inside Lynda's empty head, and also Warren and Debbie, who all committed suicide to cover for the wicked butt of Sharon Whatsting, who married that worthless skunk Ronald. So good luck trying to figure out what your own problem is. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not averse to continuing. More texts are being processed even now that are not yet ready for posting. And yet, I labor under the curse of the Fee Bee. I must have money to pay the rent, to fulfill my obligations to family, to church, to society at large, to the necessities of this physical existence, not yet having arrived at the death's doorstep. I am an individual of dignity and worth that you have no ability to comprehend. And yet you continue to exact this labor from me for free, as if I were some disembodied spirit. I could just NOT do this without a paycheck in hand. I really could not care less about your toilet paper supply chain.  And yet, if not me, who? You would certainly NOT get anything worthwhile out of any of my idiot cousins. Long enough have we sat here listening to your stupid little turd Amy pooping all over the carpet. You who think you are so clever as to be selling refrigerators to the Eskimos, what is that to me? An overabundance of money does not compensate for your lack of any intelligent thought processes, needless to say. You really should put a lid on your stupid bloviating palaver, needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that we should all feel sorry for the pathetic people of Charlotte. Even so, I really could not care less about going there and further discussing that. How did my name get tacked on to that pile of garbage? I really don't want to be reminded of that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing obliquely that someone threw me to the politics of President Wood. I am not sure what that meant, not knowing much about how that works. Was it a matter of how the people hate me so much or have you been watching too many TV episodes of "The Streets of San Francisco"? The meaning is not clear to me, that I should be bothered to figure out who is my enemy and why I should care about what some political partisans think about some episode of ancient history.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sometimes I hear my sister's dog Jessica in the background: Arf! Arf! Arf!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that you are expecting me to dialogue with some clueless Dutch pastry cook, a peddlar of food stuffs best known for having bestowed an enormous fortune on some undeserving hideous dog named Jessica. As if I should care about that. Actually I don't care to hear more about that. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Of course, you were not seriously expecting me to defend the idiotic rantings of June Guildwitch. Needless to say. June and Pam were roommates at Evangel, so I cannot be expected to comment on their private and/or public conversations. Leave me out of that, please.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, years ago while living in California, I vaguely remember attending a Michael W. Smith concert with some people whose names I cannot quite recall. There was that guy from Bolivia and his blond girlfriend, and also some other people mostly unknown to me. It was a good concert and Amy Grant made a guest appearance to sing the duet, "Friends are friends forever if the Lord is the Lord of them." And what else is there to say about that? Nothing more is needed from them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do like to eat the cakes that I bake, perhaps too much so. A weakness of the flesh it is to have a cake sitting around the house. I am too tempted to eat more of it so I don't bake all that often, especially if I want to lose any weight.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that I like to bake cakes at home. I like to bake from scratch the way I learned in high school from my mom, using the old cookbook, to make the chocolate cake, orange cake, etc. and the frosting, such as the cakes that I baked for a high school bake sale. Yes, you can also bake a cake from a box, toss in a couple of eggs and some water and some vegetable oil, and such a cake from a box of powdery mix does not taste bad. And yet it lacks something in flavor of the cake made from scratch, in my opinion. So in that sense you could call me a baker, but I never claimed to be a baker of the double K variety. We have no place here to put these double K bakers always clamoring for more attention. I might like to eat Special K cereal for breakfast, except that I would rather eat oatmeal, so we rarely ever think of stocking Special K cereal on our kitchen pantry shelf.