which Reminds Me

Yes, that was odd that she was suggesting that I was discriminating against her as an Italian, even though I had not thought of it that way. But, OK fine, whatever, if that is the script that she is serving, who am I to argue with these scripts delivered directly form the embassy itself.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that the windshield wipers that I had purchased at NAPA Auto Parts fell apart within a short time and had to be replaced, not even a year later, only a few months, so I have not been back there since then.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Rosalee was telling us herself that Pastor had washed his hands of her, by the time she was on her maybe third husband, and who is she living with now I really would not know anything about that. Who knew that she was going to be that stupidly?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember while living on the 7th floor of the college dorms, there were some girls two or three doors down the hall who were a sort of clique or gang, but I do not remember them now. I am not the type of person who is going to go out of my way to suck up to Bolton and some other people who were not all that friendly anyway.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I obviously have no desire to be an elected politician. I could not care less about running for elected office. I liked being a writer and reporter, and would have liked to advance in that direction but it is very competitive and fewer papers than ever, so no great job prospects there in the future can be expected. Elected politicians have to feel obliged to do whatever the people want, which is not necessarily what I care about. I would rather have a real job with a real paycheck and not have to be dependent on the fickle finger of political money and I just don't do that. Don't waste your breath trying to train me in the field of politics.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and I could say some other things about various people but I should probably save that for another time.

Which Reminds Me

 Yes, I am somehow reminded of something that happened during college, when I was living on the seventh floor of the girls' dorm, and C.J. had enlisted my support in her conflict with some people a couple of doors down from myself, and I seem to remember that she did confront them fiercely, even though I was not sure what were the actual facts of that situation, but anyway C.J. was the RA so that was her job, one assumes that she had some good reasons to say whatever she said, albeit emotionally a bit overwrought, but anyway that is how she is, her personality, because that is what RAs do, they keep tabs on people, make sure that everybody is following the rules.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am somehow reminded that we did eat the pickled herring (raw rish) that was presented to us, when we were guests at the farmhouse, so you cannot always believe what you read in the papers.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and another funny thing about Mr. Kauffman was that either on the phone or else when he came to the office to be interviewed for his candidacy story, he asked me wasn't this a conflict of interest for me to write about him, isn't he the attorney for the Calkins, and I was shocked because for what do I need an attorney, perhaps he has confused me with some other Calkins. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was nice of Mr. Kauffman, a local attorney, to invite me to participate in the forum in which the various reporters, including myself, were to speak a few words representing the various newspapers for which they work, and afterwards some woman complimented me on that, even though I forget now what I said. It was a sort of letting the press introduce themselves type of thing. I think that it was some time later that Mr. Kauffman interestingly was running for a city council seat or mayor, although he did not win. 

Only much later do I learn about some other Kauffman who I had never heard of, who is a North Central person and married Shari. Oh, I did not know that. 

But we already went over these points.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do feel bad about putting that "on the record" instead of off. Here these people are only being nice to me and I throw them to the four winds to be torn to pieces by the political vultures. Sorry about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot possibly imagine what I would need to discuss with the horrible people of upstate New York, such as Albany. I could elaborate more fully on this point but I really should not try to express every stray thought that passes through my mind.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is mystifying to ponder why I would ever want to hang on the Gallows with that creepy repulsive foul-mouthed despicable fleabag. I only want my paycheck. I won't need that stupid fleabag for anything. I can take care of myself without those political idiots.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if you were looking for Little Miss Quick-on-the-Draw, you should not be expecting me to apply for that job. People say all of these mystifying things to me and are expecting me to automatically know what they are talking about, but if I don't know my facts and don't have all my thoughts all lined up and ready to go, I would rather not be asked to embarrass myself without the requisite preparation aforesaid, thanks anyway. Communication is not so easy as it may seem to onlookers who only see the end result, should we answer the fool according to his folly or not, besides which I never did take that class in communication theory, which I had thought of doing, but then I changed schools and never got back to that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember getting the impression that perhaps there is a heavy price that Heather has to pay for practicing witchcraft so blatantly and openly spreading lies, but who am I to say how that works. Why should I tempt fate by mingling with that level of social snobbery?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sometimes I can't help but wonder who is that stupid rage-a-holic idiot I hear screeching n the background. Are you the Montgomery rapist?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Cori had asked me about what rich people there were in my high school, and I might have mentioned that Heather seemed to be extremely rich, even though I did not know her personally, nor did I ever claim to know much about her. My job involves doing my homework, not sucking up to rich people. I can't even imagine why someone would ask me about that. Needless to say. There never was anything nice to say about vicious nasty rich people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is sort of mystifying to ponder why you idiots think that you are going to get away with trying to PUT on me the sting of the Mata Hari hooker. I really don't see the connection. Our family has no connection whatever to those trashy hoe spies from World War I. We don't know anything about that. And yet there you are wrecking my economy, leaving me with no financial options other than to dangle on this stupid hook that you have fashioned for me. And how could I be so stupid as to walk into that trap, see what happens when I let those blithering idiot cousins run my life, I would have no escape route. I would have no option but to prosecute those Dutch.dogs, because anyway, I don't belong to you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that once during high school, I think it was at lunch hour, I was giving a sort of popcorn testimony to someone, and she totally cut me off and never spoke to me again, so obviously I am not going to try to do that again, because, anyway, why should I waste my breath on such a rude and horrible person, whatever her name was, I forget who she was.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is always a bit awkward being somehow inexplicably confused for my horrible cousin, whatever her name was. We never met.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, one can only hope that your bushy thing would be publicly listed on the stock exchange, up there alongside of Dalton's s0-called "pork bellies," so that all can gaze upon that with horror, because it was not for me alone that these special seminars are held to explain to us what not to do, using yourself as a wretched example of that. Needless to say. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that's nothing new, I already heard that long ago, about how they are going to shut me down, because they were irritated when I was tooting on their harmonica, although I couldn't really play it, I was just making noise, and Susie came and said that the adults heard that and were discussin me, and Susie said that I should stop and hand that thing over to Chris, who is said to actually know how to play the harmonica. Yes, I suppose that I could apologize for not immediately jumping to attention, even though Susie outranks me in the military game, because I continued to toot a little bit longer, although I never did take to the harmonica again, don't have one now, not interested in continuing this conversation.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that I should say I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt, if I seemed to be ridiculing your Ouija Board. What a lousy excuse for a game, not clear what rules, you are expecting me to believe that widget will just move around and spell out words independent of the bran cells and hands attached to it? And if I use that thingamajigger to spell out the word "Hello," is that me saying hello or is that Caspar the Friendly Ghost looking over my shoulder?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, wasn't that their own Ouija board that they brought to the party so that they could explain to everyone how that works? So how am I supposed to apologize for them? Let them speak for themselves if they can

Which Reminds Me

Yes, once again I am reminded of the family photos that were left behind by my great-grandparents, who spent some time in China in the 1910s and 1920s. Amongst the photos, there is one picture of a sort of Oriental guy with a name on the back, only "Lee," only that. I forget if he gave some note of thanks to them for their time of ministry there. They were working with the Andersons there mostly in Kowloon, which after WWII turned Communist, so no clear path to return there, not to mention the chaos wreaked later by the Mormons. But of course one often meets various people coming and going at the airport or trading port.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone has reminded me of the story about my second grade teacher, Mrs. Gallagher. She was such a nice lady, and it was so sad when we heard the story of her husband's death. He was cleaning his gun and it accidentally went off and that is how he happened to accidentally shoot himself and died. Some people are online saying that it probably was not so accidental as the way it was portrayed to us, the little second grade children in Mrs. Gallagher's class, that how could anyone accidentally shoot themselves so fatally technically speaking. Well, fine, I really can't say more about that one way or another at this point. I only know that I often shoot myself in the foot, not so fatally as Mr. Gallagher perhaps, I am merely admitting that I am not perfect and that I have made a mistake, usually of the clutzy variety, but of course this is not something to discuss with little Miss Turd.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that those little brats might be surprised how rarely the thought of them ever crosses my mind, which probably would be so bothersome to persons who consider themselves the center of the universe, when actually they were only a tiny side show, not intending to belittle or demean their contribution to western civilization (a college class that I aced, by the way), but anyway, we all must remember our places and not to think too highly of ourselves, as the Good Book says, and also not too low, which some have forgotten. There should be a middle ground where we are in just the right place.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, personally I do not quite see why you would be feeling so adverse to the notion of cattle ranching. There is always a place for a good steak dinner, ground round and sirloin and T-bones, etc. After all, didn't our great-grandfather Strickland ride the Chisholm trail during his youth, maybe? That's the way I heard it. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit mystifying to ponder why a dry county such as mine would have any need for a liquor lobby populated mostly by drunken Smith winos. The Ag. Department will tell you what crops you may or may not grow on the land, whether wheat, barley, rye, etc. There is nothing that I would need to discuss with you about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is probably true that I laughed too much at those Pollack jokes you were telling me, something about screwing in a light bulb, now deprecated, and although I got the memo some time back, perhaps not everyone has had the opportunity of perusing the memo and court documents.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember saying to someone, maybe Cori, about how you do not want to do something wrong, because after that things will never be the same sgain, and there is no remedy for that, you just have to cut bait, minimize your losses and make the best of what is left of your life and not think so much about how things might have been if not for whatever you did wrong in the first place.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, beck in those old college days, who knew that Dauna K. was there on a sort-of-Kopechne scholarship. She reports every little thing backstage to who knows what operatives, and if she asks me about Ted and his presidential prospects, such a shocked reaction if I should happen to pronounce that word, Chappa....,  who knew that she was a repository of such derogatory and negative information about her Russian cousin, Mary Jo? But of course we can easily imagine that the money helped to persuade them to take Ted's side in every way and always blame the victim. Ok, so whatever, fine, am I the police, but anyway, enough of that. I am not very interested in hearing more about that insidious matter. I won't be needing their liquor money for anything. Can't you just tell those stupid Kopechne sell-outs to go away and stop harassing me?   

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really would rather commit suicide than suck up to the snooty vicious nasty Cuccio monsters. I don't think that I would need them and their garbage for anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during my second year at SCC, my sister was also there, and one day her roommate came to my room to ask my advice as if a big sister, and so I listened to her story about how she was interested in accepting to date some sports guy who was interested in her, and what did I think about that. And what could I say that would matter? It is true that I could have pointed out that he was one of those creepy disgusting sports guys who are there on bastketball scholarship, having no affinity with the religious purposes of our college, and spend their off-hours somewhere off-campus carousing and drinking and smoking and who knows what else. But I didn't say that. I could have pointed out that he was a Brazilian whose culture might be a problem or source of conflict in any future relationship. But I didn't say that. She was so dazzled by the idea of dating a sports celebrity and seemed only to want a confirmation of whatever she wants, so, ok, fine, so do whatever you want. Interestingly, within a short time they were married and she was living off-campus somewhere. So whatever. Who am I to interfere with whatever they want. And if I had said some warning things, surely due to the laws of ying-yang, she would have done anyway the opposite of whatever I might say. So, fine, whatever. Why am I still hearing about that/

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember, wasn't that funny how legalistic people used to be about girls wearing dresses. However, the 1970s changed all that.and I often wore pants in high school.. I don't know why I got so radical on that point, but it was easier to blend in with the crow that way, not that I didn't wear dresses to church and on other occasions.Some other cults such as those Plymouth Brethren people might have slower to adapt, but by now probably most people have adapted in that regard.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I can easily imagine that Dawn might have been sandwiched somewhere between Share and Saravia in the alphabetical order of things, over there amongst the Dummies class people. Maybe. However, I really don't see why I should care about that. I wasn't particularly interested in hearing more about them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember there was a story about my grandmother's distant relative or friend who had been at one time an employee of the Lady Bird Johnson. Ok, so that's nice for them. So now you are asking whether my grandparents voted for Nixon because they liked him, or was it because they were so annoyed at the impertinent and unwarranted personal intrusions emanating from the obnoxious Johnson family. And I can only say that my grandparents voted for Nixon regardless of whatever the Johnson might be saying about anything, and I can sort sympathize with my grandparents more than with some other cousin of my mother's who perhaps imagines that selling her soul down river to some Bay Area whiners is going to mean something to anyone else in the family.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, once again you remind me of the story about my grandmother's distant relative or friend who was an employee at some time in the past, probably the 1960s, of Lady Bird Johnson, so that's nice for her. That doesn't do anything for me. The johnsons don't pay me diddly squat so do not feel myself under any duty or obligation to work for them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that, while working in Central Florida, one day in the office my boss, Max, was wearing a huge ring on his finger, sort of a trophy class ring, and he was showing it off and saying that it was given to him by Rockefeller at a time when he was previously an editor or manager for several years at a Gannett newspaper in West Virginia. So that was interesting. Hmmm....

Which Reminds Me

Yes, so just because I may or may not stand to receive royalties of the gas and oil variety in the future, that does not mean that I live in a country that has a monarchy. I don't quite find that amusing, your gas and oil joke about royalties. Mineral rights are a legal thing, not a matter of blood type. Thus your royalties logic does not compute. Surely a wise and merciful monarch and/or elected ruler would not be interfering with my personal pocketbook issue in regards to royalties. One would think.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, here we are in a free and independent country, home of the free and the brave, and all you want to do is exalt those Swedish royalties, as if there were no other royalties in Europe: English, Spanish, Dutch, Norwegian, etc. You ought to know the rules of America by now. I should not have to explain that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember being assigned by my boss to write a story about a business, I forget which business, there was a sort of hint that this might be an advertising deal, but anyway, it was an assignment. Interesting how it was assigned to me after Stacie refused to do it, because she did not consider it worthy of her journalistic skills to dabble in such quasi-advertising things and she was not embarrassed to say that and to be somewhat dismissive of me for going ahead and doing that anyway, but she is a Nicaraguan Latina so she can get away with saying all these negative and denigrating things about me, and if I said that about her I would get in so much trouble. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember one time when my boss Rick gave me a phone number to call some economist in Gainesville for a story that I was writing at the time, and it turned out that this person had attended my high school also, and I seem to remember, although I am not sure, that he might have been that guy who was performing a scene from Shakespeare, with Francisco Flores, they were very impressive as actors but apparently theater it turned out was not their main thing, but even so, that is almost the only thing that I can remember about them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that at one time or another we were talking about how egotistical guys are, and how if you are accidentally too friendly, they will take it the wrong way. I might be saying hello, meaning casual friends, and they interpret that as I am throwing myself at him. Because guys are so unbelievably egotistical sometimes, so I have learned about the importance of sticking to business and keeping things professional, especially at the office when I have a job to do and where there is no control over what whacko persons might be wandering about nearby with strange ink blot pictures posted to the walls of their cubicles.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that someone at my church was asking me about one of the Boca Raton City Council members, Abrams, because she had at one time worked at his office or something of that sort, what was her name, I forget what she said about that, and although she was a Latina although that is probably not the reason why she seemed so stupid, but what she said was so stupid, I can't even begin to explain where her head was at.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember that there were some days during school, when my lunch prepared by my mom would contain a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and other days there might be a baloney sandwich. But this is really not an interesting personal topic of conversation to be discussing with Calamity Jane. We are not that close.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I did happen to notice that cultic whacko high school classmate Libby was throwing beer bottle garbage at me. And you are expecting me to say "thanks" for helping with that? Are you sick or what? Anyway, that's the way it sort of looks from this vantage point. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that means that my name is still on your list of gullible scam victims. Maybe that explains the "SPAM RISK" message that often appears whenever my phone rings. Probably that would be you scammers on the other end of the line.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, wouldn't that be nice if I could get a full refund on that overpriced, overhyped "Thrive" online training program that I had paid for years ago, and I cannot say that I did not learn some useful things from that, although on top of that they wanted to charge me $30 a month for their website builder, which might have worked well enough, but then I learned even more things, and figured out that I could get the same thing for much less money elsewhere independent of them. And I remember talking to that fraud alert lady who had called me from Arizona, and they are going to do something about that she said, and that was years ago and still no word of any result or refund. Hmmm.....

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing that the identical twins in our high school class are angry about being mistaken one for another, although I co not remember now anything specific about that, only that i remember thinking that it would probably be best for me to avoid them entirely, because for one thing I don't know anything about it, and also any little thing that I might say or do about that, may inadvertently set them off into some inexplicable temper tantrum, so, yeah, whatever.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that one time while I was working as a newspaper reporter, I was sent to a certain place to interview some people and get a story out of that, and I went there, and nobody was there, so I went back to the office to wait a while, and my boss was there and was furious because I had not come back with a story. I have to come back with a story, he said. Where is the story? I tried to explain but it was no use. So I immediately went back to that place and this time there were some people there for me to talk to  then I was able to go back to the office with a story. Of course I could have just stayed at the place and waited a long time for people to appear and spared myself a headache, but either way. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of Olympic contenders, Joshua Whiskey was a guy at our college who was a bit older and had previously competed in Olympic-level athletic competitions, I forget which sport, maybe race running although I am not sure. He was telling us about his experience working as some type of forest ranger an/or police officers high in the Sierras, and he had at one time while working as such, during a time when streaking was a fad, had been called upon to arrest a naked lady who was running down the street. So apparently that was quite a difficult situation for those guys to handle. She wasn't very cooperative.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember mentioning that there is no "U" in my name, my last name being Calkins, whereas the Olympic medalist swimmer Tracy Caulkins does have a "U" in her name. It seems unbelievable that I would have to argue about spelling my name with or without a "U," when you are nothing important, only an overblown sports medalist with a spoiled rotten attitude.

Which Reminds me

Yes, I am starting to wonder whether you were expecting me to have to explain that I am not even slightly related to that Lee family, and I am not related to them, but it seems unnecessary for me to have to explain such an obvious and irrelevant fact and thus having to expend so much energy and resources on a very insignificant and unimportant point. I pick my battles, not you.   

which Reminds Me

had  Yes, aren't you just the most clever back-stabbing whiners ever. I vaguely remember that Gale Lee arrived at the camping trip separately, escorted by Joshua Whiskey, thus to show herself straight even though I don't think that stuck for long, he was probably another one of those liquor people that Cori had dredged out of somewhere. Yes, why am I hanging out with all of these people who hate my guts and are obviously trying to trap me into some impossible situation? Am I losing my mind? No, obviously the solution is for me to get rid of you all first, so that I can see what are all these tricks, because anyway, I don't like you that much. You just weren't that important to me, so I am making it easy for you to dispose of me. I am making it so easy for you to get rid of me, so that I don't have to be bothered with you. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I don't understand what you expect me to say about that deaf/mute Gale Lee. I don't care. I never liked her anyway, a mere acquaintance not worthy of being recalled to mind.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is interesting to hear you speak the truth for a change, must be difficult for someone so accustomed to dissimulating and fakey phoniness.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing something about how those poeple seem to be all up and gone to Rocky Top, a place that I have never been and who knows when I would ever get there when, anyway, they are so far away and life is short, and, anyway, who needs those wishy-washy political flim-flam people when anyway there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was quite a leap of imagination for you to suggest that I had ever read any of Alcott's books during my childhood. Actually not. I might have seen a movie on TV of "Little Women," but I was not interested in reading the actual book. I don't remember why, much less any of her other books. Do you always invent these things to try to attach poeple to?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was a time when I had thought of going outside to play games with those people, maybe Kenton and some other guests, but my mother would not give me permission to go outside to play games with them. Sorry about that, I was so depressed about that, but anyway my mom says that when I grow up I will be able to look back at the distant past and laugh at some of the crazy things that I did as a child, now that I am an adult. I was only eight years old at the time, but I still had to be punished for being so stupid as to not first asking my parents' permission.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why did the Sawords adopt that horrid little monster Jackie? It wouldn't matter so much if those Canadian people weren't making so much noise, but Jackie is almost completely unhinged from any reality that has anything to do with me. There is almost no connection here to Jackie.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you stupid people have only yourselves to blame for stupidly mistaking me for some nasty rich girl. I have a hard time feeling guilty for your own stupid nonsense. Where is all this imaginary phony money? Did I ask to be born who I am? Get stupid your stupid Canadian butt off my back. I don't look anything like her? What, are you blind?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, It is always a bit awkward being mistaken for our high school classmate who is a Jehovan's Witness. For religious reasons she cannot stand for patriotic displays such as national anthems nor be sworn in as a witness in court. Whether she later converted to some other box, I have not heard much. I only remember the box that she occupied during high school, at least the way I heard it originally.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to get the idea that you are probably bound to defend the curses and false accusations that were spread around by Jeanie, who has some huge chip on her shoulder, as I heard online. I am not fond of your village politics. Being aware of "The Lottery," a short story by Shirley Jackson that puts a negative spin on the idea of "winning," I don't need to win. I can live just fine without "winning" her type of game.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing that David was planning to cast me in the role of Miss Haversham of "Great Expectations," the jilted woman and elderly spinster who sits there eternally contemplating her mouldering wedding cake. Hmmm.... Thanks (sarcastically0! But how can I protest against some errant man who I never  liked that much anyway, to be really honest about that. I don't feel so much jilted as accidentally stuck in someone else's melodramatic soap opera. I have probably done that to other people myself on occasion, so I can't say too much about it. But after all, isn't my head full of those Bronté novels that I read during high school? Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights, the crazy ex-wife meets Heathcliff. Charlotte Brontë was certainly a genius writer, even if the so-called reality she stitched together was somewhat depressing and nonsensical. Makes you glad to be born after the 19th century, so that all of that stuff is just ancient history to be studied analytically for its lack of common sense. And whoever heard of Jane Austen? Actually I had never read any Jane Austen, but now that I have, I see that she speaks wittily of the financial constraints of maintaining a role in genteel society. And now that I know that is just all about blood type, a fluke of blood chemistry, I can be aware that I don't have to take the disappointment so personally. It's just the system.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember when I first came home to the United States after graduating from high school, and we were at my aunt's house in the Bay Area and talking to my cousin Richard, and he had some records and a record player, and I was welcome to play one of them, or he played something for us, I don't remember in what order that happened, but we were listening to a song that was saying something about "Bye bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry, and good old boys were drinkin whiskey and rye and saying this will be the day that I die" etc. etc. So that was a rock song that I was hearing played on the record player, but don't know much else about it. There used to be a theory about not really being able to decipher the lyrics, but then again sometimes I do remember some of the words, even if they don't make any sense.