Which Reminds Me

Yes, why is this blithering idiot Gordon always screaming at me? I was not aware of his existence at the time that I was there. I wasn't paying attention to the goings on at that mansion across the fence. Cheryl seemed to know all about them, but I did not stick around long enough to learn much about that. How ridiculous to assume that I had some weird plan with him in mind. A total fiction concocted no doubt by that ridiculously stupid bimbo Terry, a vapid beauty queen of "Zero" academic distinction. Absurd!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and speaking of the military cousins, I have a very hard time understanding why I would be required to feel sorry for those vicious nasty little Butterskunk piggies. I so much don't care if I never see them again this lifetime, especially not after this nationally authorized pity party they have been throwing for themselves, as if the entire world should revolve around only them and their selfish greedy agenda, and anyway there never was something nice to say about those horrid little monsters, and I say that after you sent those nasty horrid Italian CIA agents to viciously hiss and screech at me throughout high school, as if I even know what they were talking about. So was I supposed to thank everybody for nothing much? I try to be nice but then again nobody seems to be have a brain, so why waste my time and energies on this pile of nonsense?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am vaguely aware that some of my cousins belong to the U.S. military. So that was their choice. However, I don't understand why you seem to imagine that we were ever a military family. There was no law requiring enlistment, although there benefits to that certainly if that is what they want to do. Even so, I see that you already have the token military members contributed by our family in the person of those cousins, so what more is there to discuss? I really don't see your points.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is somewhat distracting, this wondering how I am supposed to pay off all these bills all the while doing all of this unprofitable homework that you are constantly demanding for free, never a thought about my financial needs and how am I suppose to function in this broken scenario.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely recall the existence of Mr. Wright, who is an acquaintance of ours, he and his family, nice people perhaps but no relation of mine. The huge W tacked on to his surname reveals him to be "Mr. Wrong" as far as I am concerned. And I am always right, never wrong, on this point. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was a strangely insulting plan that you had concocted for me, in which I am to be dropped off at the amusement park where all my time will be consumed in being thrown and tossed about by the carnival machines, and in the meantime you will have gone home to have a normal life doing important things that matter. Um, thanks. Oh, was there some reason to be mindful of that? Amusement parks have their places, and I have had my share of that, certainly, but who says that my life doesn't matter? Why can't I get my grip to slam the ball back at you annoying whiner swine?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem somewhat strange to find these unknown persons in the background chattering about my life and what I am going to do with my property, when I don't yet know much about that, nor do I necessarily care about their wild imaginations. My mother might have various pans cooking on the stove, but I was not in any great hurry to do something about that, especially given the lack of actual practical value (will they keep that in reserve for another hundred years? and who can say whether there will ever be any profits?)  and the huge hassle that might be entailed to even figure out what's what and where is the starting point.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember hearing my parents mentioning on some occasions that they at one time were working at a church in Redwood City, California. My Dad was working as an assistant pastor under Pastor Scratch. However, I only remember some things I heard them saying about that, because at that time I was not born yet. I was not born until after they left there, so obviously I cannot remember anything firsthand about Redwood City. When I think about Redwood City, my mind just goes blank.  A few years ago I do remember hearing some online commotion from Heidi, who attended my college, and I do remember seeing her face around campus, although we were not personally acquainted. I wasn't paying that much attention at the time so that I really cannot comment. What did you say? Somebody there still remembers that I existed? Well, fancy that! And you wanted to trade places with me? I don't recommend borrowing somebody else's life. Life is already complicated enough without adding all of your problems to the mix.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is perhaps that I lied when I said that I hated you. I really don't hate you, but these Mata Hari jokes are really getting on my nerves. Which one of you is Mata Hari's granddaughter? I don't have time for these irrelevant questions that are of no concern to me. It just doesn't matter now, does it?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I can imagine that some people in our high school probably think that all roads lead to Atlanta, because the Baptist missionary from Georgia seems to have been very busy behind the scenes making all sorts of interesting and mysterious deals and arrangements of which we were never informed because we were, in a sense, friendly competitors, even though attending the same schools. I personally do not feel any great need or desire to check in with Atlanta on every little point, they have their places, but there are some unhinged people who are seemingly addicted to that form of communication and seem to be stuck on some points of a trivial pursuit nature, so that perhaps only to clarify a couple of things we have necessarily condescended to use that format for a short time, even though I don't really feel any great need to continue communicating with those irrelevant people forever. There comes a time when we must set aside these trivial, insignificant and irrelevant hobbies and go out and get a real job that pays the rent. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and here I am, not seeing how the trashy green hoe has anything to be telling me. I will tell you what, not the other way around, but first you have to ask the right question. Wong question: No comment. But of course, these rich people are such selfish greedy pigs who think that everything is all about them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, all of which gives the mistaken and wrong impression that I would want to profit from my grandmother's big mistake. No no no. We cannot have any licorice profits in this picture. Take your stupid whine money and go wherever it is you have to go, but don't be expecting me to care about that, because actually I don't. I don't care about that. We know about your vinegary bitterness and we don't care to emulate that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, did I inadvertently disqualify myself from that New York job that I never applied and never wanted? I hope that you learned your lesson to never recommend me for anything so ridiculously non-applicable behind my back without me having thought of that. True, there are always all those many people who applied and lost, only to serve as contrast for the one winner who rises above the pack. But obviously it has already been predetermined that the winner will not be me. Didn't you get the memo? How many failed job applications can one person handle before giving up in utter despair?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do enjoy listening to and/or reading interesting stories about people. Sometimes people have inspiring stories to tell or interesting pieces of information. Once in high school I vaguely remember hearing an interesting story about the house of David. I once tried to repeat that and then realized I really did not understand what I had overheard, so that it would really be much too dangerous for me to make the attempt. If you really are interested in hearing more about David's house, I would recommend that you get that directly from Marion. She might not be a U.S. citizen, but even so she might have some interesting information about that, if you can find her phone number somewhere. I can't quite remember what I heard about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, having seen the movie, "The Wizard of Oz," it does make you now wonder whether there really was such a person as depicted in the movie and also book, who may have inadvertently stepped through some loophole behind the old house, and suddenly found herself in another land inhabited by another people, although whether her name was Dorothy is questionable, given that Baum named his fictional heroine after an infant girl who died at five months of age.

Just because my Dad's uncle, Sam, coincidentally had a daughter named Dorothy, that is not any sort of Oz connection worth mentioning. Those whiners will do whatever they want, and we will all just be sitting around for a long time afterward wondering what happened and how the one thing that I said morphed into that, because they just do whatever they want. Besides, the military probably already has all of this archival matter stored away somewhere, and there is no reason to doubt they will be doing their job with view toward national security given that the government pays them well to keep track of these important matters. There is no reason for us to get all bent out of shape trying to second guess that.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, did I inadvertently drop your Italian Whiner shop butts off at the corner drugstore? Oh, sorry about that, but anyway, I basically loathe wine culture.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does make you wonder, why are the stupid repugnant roadhogs of Iowa always screaming at me about nothing much. And here I am, not giving a hoot about the idiotic rantings of Iowa. I really could not care less about your bombing exploits. You had your chance and you bombed already and now it is mainly a matter of clearing up the wreckage you left behind.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there you go again with that confused notion about Hazel, who was their grandmother, NOT mine. I only met Hazel from Alabama once, but from everything that I have heard, it is possible that she was suffering from a mental illness that would be difficult to describe apart from polite company. But anyway, Hazel is YOUR problem, NOT mine. I never did hear whether her mental illness was contagious, but either way I was not planning to go to Alabama to learn more about that. I cannot be expected to keep track of all these people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit puzzling to hear these people accusing me of "hating" them. The word "hate" seems much too strong for describing any sort of feeling toward persons of whose existence I am barely aware, and for which reason my feeling is better described as indifference. Yes, it was a bit thoughtless of me to call you David "Goat Legs," in part because of those odd short pants that you were wearing to school, nobody else wears that in the classroom, only you guys from Down Under, and I have no expectation of ever being forgiven by such an angry person, and for that reason I will have no time for further pointless argumentations.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing about the Melting Pot restaurant, said to be a place of delicious fondue, according to what Susie said. The Melting Pot has a special meaning for Susie, I do remember her talking about that in her mysterious way, in which she often denotes information as something that I am not entitled to hear more about. But that is how they always are. They have all of these mysterious secrets and I only heard a half-baked version of that, enough to hint that there is more to that story than I know about, but unfortunately I wasn't invited to the original dinner party so there is not much more that I can say or do about the Melting Pot. It is what it is, a place for delicious fondue if you like that sort of thing.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am looking forward to returning to the U.S., where it will be easier to throw this worthless Johnson slop overboard. When I get to heaven I will have no need of this Johnson debris. Oh, is that pestiferous Carol Garlic I hear screeching in the background?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we are finally now seeing some improvements in the genre of "reality show." We are not asking you to reenact Robinson Crusoe's island adventures with a vomit-inducing X-rated twist. We only want to not have our intelligence insulted by these ridiculous hacks. We prefer not to be insulted by this suggestion that I were in any way connected to the annoying Johnson brothers. I do remember hearing them boast of their vast inherited wealth, even if they were never the elected. For that they are wholly dependent on Kennedy. I do not understand why the dreary Johnsons are still hovering about and angling to throw darts at me. I really could not care less if I never see them again in this lifetime. Yes, I vaguely remember hearing that my grandmother's friend or distant relative was at one time an employee of Lady Bird, but I do not know one more thing about that. What was her name? I just have no idea. Besides which my grandmother was a Republican. So you're just barking up the wrong tree. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was nice of the people in the advertising department to invite me to their little Christmas party, even though I really don't belong there. There was that photo posted on the wall of everybody at that little restaurant or something down the street from work where it was held, and I stopped in for a few minutes after work before going home. We have to be appreciative of the hard work of the advertising people who bring in the money that pays for the space to write all of the articles. Without the writers, the paper would only be a shopper. But without the advertising, there would be no paper. So if the paper is going to shrink that much, everybody can just go home now and find some other line of work.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sorry, I did skip over the Donna medals, didn't need that for this picture. And anyway, since when do we in the U.S. give medals and laureates to ethnically Russian persons who might be suspected of working as KGB agents on the side, after having stabbed me in the back in that clever way? For that type of prize you might have more luck going home to Russia, or Europe, because we don't care so much about that here. Or else maybe you could apply for the mob job of "Union Maid" so oddly promoted by the CIA, because I certainly don't need that. Labor Unions do have their benefits for those blue collar workers, and the mob bosses who run their lives from cradle to grave, but all of my jobs have been of the non-Union variety, so far at least. Sorry if that disappoints some the crowing mob activists, but the world is not just one big "Utopia." Life is more complicated than that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, well, if we never stopped to chat then, much less is there going to be time for that later, given the entire lack of any law or regulation requiring me to check in with New York hub to "prove" something at every step of the way, or to have my itinerary reviewed by annoying Blondies who never did have my real phone number. I would rather kill myself than talk to those people. Not on those terms.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, well, perhaps the term "fight" would be too strong, perhaps the term minor "altercation" would be more appropriate to described some type of conflict that I did not actually see, only heard about because in a classroom Margot was chattering loudly about that to everyone within earshot, so I cannot really say more than what I heard, because, I don't why, there seemed to be more antipathy there expressed by Margot at the time than merely an inadvertent classroom mishap, but anyway I really do not know anything about that. I was not aware of any rule requiring me to take sides in the matter of Cruz vs. De La Guardia, no one ever said anything about that until now, suddenly someone is trying to make that into something more of an issue, perhaps because the best friend and pal/companion of Cruz was Kathy from the CIA, so obviously, having monopolized the ear of the CIA, some arrangements would probably have been made by them on their behalf, although I do not see how that has anything to do with me. That is their private personal conflict and it would much too presumptuous of me to involve myself in such a personal matter of no concern to me.

Which Reminds Me

And there I was in high school, all the time thinking that in 9th grade, that I had heard something about the classroom fight between two girls, Cruz and de la Guardia, but anyway, yes, there were probably many other complications that I cannot quite understand about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am admittedly now fatter than I used to be, even though only now am I starting to notice some of the things that those massively obese and enormously fat Jacobite Stewarts have been working on for years, and here all this time I was ignoring their silly stuff thinking they always did live in their own private La-la Land. And now suddenly we are starting to see some hints of them. And even so, well, La di dah!

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does make you wonder, why this overwrought display of stupid attitude problem from the gabby witch? I cannot quite put all of those pieces together in any coherent way.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, this is certainly not what I was planning to do with my life, but on the other hand I cannot see how I could accomplish anything else, much less do ministry, with those horrid people holding a gun to my head. I was hoping they weren't so serious about killing me, but given that they have already predetermined to kill me, it doesn't make much sense for me to "do" something about that, thus to "help" the worthless enemy. I just don't matter. So, la di dah.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember in my researches learning there was a Calkins in the Midwest who had invented and patented something that has to do with the components of guns. Even so, however that may be, we are not the gun family. Just having the name of Calkins is not enough to justify all of this harassment and shooting spree of Calkins in regards to gun revenues, when obviously we have no gun revenues. You are simply wrong wrong wrong. Enough said about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing the name of Myrna Wilkins who was a single woman missionary living in maybe Venezuela, but I am way beyond caring about the details of her arrest. She was caught shaving her legs, which is a big no-no there in Venezuela. That is the sum total of everything that I heard about that. What else is there to say about that? So what?