Which Reminds Me

Yes, doesn't everyone know that Stephanie was the type of dreary Brit who goes around shooting at Yankees and giving Merry Old England a bad name? I certainly would not be interested in playing the role of Patty's fairy godmother. I will defer that role to Stephanie because I see how these Mexicans play dumb and stroke British egos by looking "up" to them as fairy godmothers when actually they are just politicking, obviously. It does the flatter the ego to be sought for advice and that ploy might work for a while but it is not like these brownies will always need a British fairy godmother around to pick up after them. I am just saying that my personal identity should not be based on what these yappy little Mexican dogs are demanding at the moment, because really their ideas of white people are sometimes so incredibly weird. I never claimed to be an extraterrestrial, angel, or giantess. How ridiculous. Not to be mean or anything but I have my own life to live.

Which Reminds Me

I do not recall myself signing any deal allowing that dingbat librarian Karen Robinson to speak for me. She was so exaggerated when talking about that professor. Did I feel this way about it as others she was representing did? Well, maybe in a way I can sympathize with them, but only in a figurative sense, and don't put my name on that Karen. My experience was nothing like hers, obviously. I never signed on the dotted line. I was only trying to be sympathetic to those victimized people Karen was talking, although I really don't understand. Some people are just weird and obsessive and so sometimes you have to just avoid them so as to not let them drive you nuts.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, no matter what I do, these people will always accuse me of being just an imitator of someone else. Nothing I do matters to them. In their minds I will just always be an imitator of someone else and they are always trying to figure who I am imitating, as if no original thought could possibly cross my mind, as if they themselves were not slavish imitators of someone else also. It is so insulting to be accused that way, as if my very existence were somehow a mistake. Like I said before, it's like I don't exist. I have no idea who they are talking to but they are probably not even talking to me so, anyway, I probably should just give myself a break and not be so paranoid. After all, high school always was only a miserable place on the way to somewhere else, not a place to stay.

Which Reminds Me

I wonder why stupid Patricia Cruz is calling me? What an idiot she is. Does Patty really think that it was she who listened to Stephanie's sad story in Economics class? Patty was never even in that class so she wouldn't really know anything about it. The idiots of Louisiana ought to be ashamed of themselves for gumming up the works so stupidly and holding me hostage all this long time for no reason whatever. I never claimed to know anything about any of that, nor did I ever advertise myself an authority on the subject of Stephanie. All I can do is point you to better witnesses than myself and/or stupid Patty.

Which Reminds Me

I do remember that Edmundo was there in the church youth group but I really don't know very much about him. I do remember him muttering some bitter insurrectionist sentiments but that was not unusual for quite a few of those church people at the time. A lot of people at church were involved in some extracurricular activities that I really did not understand. Why they would need some special amnesty deal I have no idea. What did they think they were doing? I really would not want to know. I prefer to let the local authorities deal with these local matters which are of no concern to me. God forgives everybody.

Which Reminds Me

One day during high school, I think it was a Saturday, we went to a youth function at our church where they were serving atol, a not-so-delicious drink made from rice, and other local food and drink, and someone there said that earlier some guys from my high school, the Escuela Americana, had been there and were already gone by the time that we arrived. Apparently my named had somehow been mentioned by them. That made feel sort of uneasy because their names were not mentioned to me. It was not exactly clear to me who they were referring to as having visited our church from my high school. Just because some guys were my high school classmates, that did not mean that they were friends of mine or that I would approve of myself socializing with them outside of school given various factors.

Which Reminds Me

Stop wasting my time with your bad checks, you whiny losers.

Truth be told, you would be better off asking Patricia Savarria what she remembers about Stephanie's situation. I remember that Stephanie was talking to her at the table while studiously ignoring me. I am just a stupid white person after all. What would I know about the U.K. story? I see that Patty is on the move now so it will take some work to catch up with her but you can't expect me, just one person, to cough up the whole story. You have to ask around, do your homework, just like everybody else.

Which Reminds Me

One day in the ninth grade I was sitting there minding my own business in, maybe it was study hall, and I did notice that Marion and Ronit were deeply engrossed in some heavy conversation, although I could not really hear that details of that, or else I really don't remember. I only remember that Marion at some point said to Ronit that she really likes to get Ronit's advice. Marion thinks that Ronit gives very good advice. So I suppose that's nice, although I really would not be able to explain what they were talking about. I suppose that Marion remembers seeing me sitting there in the next row or two over and wonders what I overheard, if I were to remember having overheard something, and perhaps that explains how I got somehow targeted by someone, but I really don't remember anything. We never discussed that. I really wouldn't be able to explain about Marion's problems so please leave me out of it. I have no idea.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, in a million years I would never have gone partying with those guys that Stephanie was hanging around with in high school. She must be really stupid to be seen talking to them at school, much less privately at some party at somebody's house, as everybody knows that they are bad news. "Earth to Stephanie!" Those guys are sitting there spewing obscenities and Stephanie does not even seem to be bothered by that. Maybe she does not understand what those words actually mean. Fortunately I figured out early what those words mean so I already knew to ignore them, block their commentaries from my conscious mind, because I really don't care what they might say. I already somehow know that they have some mental problem or else they would not be saying such things. I could say something similar about Thomas and Raymond, who seem to be working for the U.K. Secret Service, not for the U.S., or they wouldn't be so offensive to U.S. citizens such as myself, as if I should care about the annoying Stephanie. Stephanie must be really stupid to be hanging around with that guy.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not a trained counselor so I would have no idea what to say about Stephanie's mental problem and also her hogging of the airwaves. Stephanie just was not that important to me. Was she there on graduation day? I really don't remember. I freely admit that I was not thinking about Stephanie at all. I have my own life to live independent of the U.K., so while I don't mean to be mean or anything, I really don't know why I should be held hostage by that. I don't even know anything about it.

Which Reminds Me

Our table was near the front of the room, near the teacher's desk. I imagine that Dr. DePaul also overheard much of Stephanie's yapping, as she was a very loud yapper, and he was probably also sitting there at his desk the whole time waiting for things to quiet down so that class can get started. Maybe he knows more about what was going on than I do. I really don't know very much. The problem with this monologuing yappers is that they never took the time to listen to anyone else's thoughts on these matters so they really have no idea what anyone thinks and really don't care. They just project their own thoughts onto quiet people who are just sitting there

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot imagine why I should be in trouble because of something that Stephanie did of which I am not even aware and really don't care. It wasn't me. And also, possibly everyone in the classroom, up to 20 or so people maybe, were alarmed to hear Stephanie talking loudly about something that she did wrong. It wasn't just me that heard this. I don't know what exactly her problem was, and I am not particularly inclined to say anything out of feeling sorry for her, but certainly when you go around talking where almost an entire classroom full of people can hear you, there is no guarantee that one or another of those imaginative people will not be carrying Stephanie's story all over campus and who knows where else and possibly twisting everything around in flippant ways of which I cannot be held responsible as I am not even sure who said what or why I should care. Stephanie had a lot of personal problems as we all were made abundantly aware without even having to ask any questions. She just talks unprompted and everyone just sits there listening to her continuous monologue about being from Scotland and so forth. I don't mean to sound cold or indifferent but I did not get involved because, anyway, her head is somewhere in Scotland, or else making secret deals with the local natives to which white Americans such as myself are not party, so I really don't understand all this yapping about nothing. Why should I stick my neck out to have it chopped off by these double-dealing U.K.ers? I just don't care that much. I seem to recall that Raymond was in that class and, well, there is no telling what weird angle he might have taken on that. I really wouldn't know. I don't recall discussing that with anyone.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward, this selfish Stephanie pretending to be a nice person. She was always so rude, always putting on such imperious airs and studiously ignoring of me, probably because I am just a poor stupid American white person, whereas she is from the U.K., her job being to win the affections of the natives for herself alone, which is just how those people are, like everyone owes them a living but don't expect them to do us any favors. Anyway, I would only be guessing. I was never invited to those wild parties so I really would not understand why she would be so loudly expressing her regrets of something that happened there. I really don't know the specifics of that. It would seem sort of intrusive for me to ask about that when she will not even acknowledge my existence to even say hello while sitting at the same table. Maybe some other people in that class would remember and could volunteer the details. I don't mean to be rude but all this poking around behind my back gets very insulting, especially as it becomes so obvious that Stephanie has no idea who I actually am and remembers absolutely nothing about me. Just because you did something wrong, that does not make it my job to fix your problem. And also your acting wild at parties does not qualify as social "work," whereas if I do something stupid do I have to be "used" to pay for your stupider mistake? Life just isn't fair.

Which Reminds Me

Since when does my first job as a cashier at a Publix supermarket one summer matter at all in the long run? So I bagged groceries and made change and punched myself in and out at the time clock just like everybody else. At the end of the summer one of the managers said that I could come back later if I wanted to, but I never wanted to go back there. I don't even remember those people's names, much less anything about them. Perhaps sick Rachel would remember their names, but whatever. I certainly don't. Where is it written in the law that I must pay off the Bail-R-Us supermarket family before I can get on with my life? I didn't do anything wrong. Goodbye.

Which Reminds Me

Yuma was the town in which lived Geraldine Knox who was our sixth grade teacher and also our piano teacher. I once visited her for one week but I doubt that I will ever get out that way again any time soon. I imagine that she is possibly dead by now as nothing has been heard from her all these many long years. I just have no idea of whatever happened to those people. I really have no connection to Arizona. As a matter of fact, I am happy and contented to be on the "Don't call me from Arizona" list.

Which Reminds Me

It is a bit awkward for us, this unknown Wendy person suddenly appearing on the scene pretending to be related to us. We had never heard of this person Wendy, had no idea of any close family members living in Virginia, our great-great-grandfather having left there some time in the early 19th century, and ourselves not having any personal acquaintance with any of these people pretending to be somehow related to us. These Irish, especially Black Irish people always have been a long-term problem for us with their strange fictional tales, always trying to trip us up and get us in trouble with the authorities. As if I would even remember what that was all about. Don't I know that my own grandmother was not Irish at all, nor was she Scottish. My grandmother was more English but she married a McClellan, the McClellans being a Scottish clan who never did have much regard for the English, so they are saying that there was a tension between them, the Scottish and the English, not that I would know very much about that. And since when does anyone care what Wendy McClellan thinks about anything anyway? Didn't those people sell their souls to the Vikings or the Devil or something? And weren't there some other factors involved as well? So I really don't care what they think. You can't go home anymore, which is why it is nice that there is a heaven to look forward to. You can't go back.

Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to explain that I was never drunk nor did I ever have many friends to speak of. My bottle of Welch's grape juice does not even compare to what those tipsy witches downstairs smuggled into the dorms of another college, not that I had thought of saying anything. Those whiners of North Central certainly do make a loud and clamorous noise even if their facts are a bit garbled. Since when does blizzard-stricken North Central run the universe I'd like to know?

Which Reminds Me

I vaguely remember the existence of a high school classmate named Alfredo. I vaguely remember that Maria, who was our maid when I was in 10th grade, mentioned having worked for Alfredo's family previously to working for us. They were demanding or something, I don't remember the details of what she said about that, nor do I much care to be reminded. I never really cared what Alfredo thinks of me or anyone else, so whatever. My name is not Ronit, who was the red-headed Jewish girl in our high school class, so I probably would not know what Alfredo is talking about. I noticed that he went on to become a Mexican scientist so that's nice but I do not work in the field of science or scientific research so, anyway, I probably would not understand what he is talking about. Nor do I have any Mexican connections so I would need to refer the Mexicans to the Tinker family who are descended from some famous Mexican general, as we recently learned. Yes, I probably would not understand about how that is connected.

Which Reminds Me

My aunt once told me a story about she and her husband being on the East Coast visiting at the home of another couple and that woman made a pass at her husband and my aunt may have berated her and broke off the friendship because she does not associate with that type of swinger people. I do not recall whether any names were mentioned so all I know about that is what my aunt said. The only thing I know for certain is it that it wasn't me. I wasn't even there so obviously it would be hard for me to imagine what silly New York bimbo that might have been. Where does one go to turn off this stupid New York bimbo machine? I would really like to know how to turn that off.

Which Reminds Me

I suddenly am remembering that you are the ones who sent someone to me yapping about store mannequins, as if I would care about your private jokes. I was never in the department store business so I really don't care, obviously. I just wish that all of you annoying shopkeepers would go away and leave me alone so I can get on with my real life.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true, I must confess that I waded all the way through Tolstoy's humongous dreary novel, "Anna Karenina," a literary masterpiece describing a false and hollow woman who breaks her marriage vows and runs away for a passionate love affair with a dapper silly soldier boy, so handsome in his uniform yet so devoid of character and any other redeeming quality, or so the author portrays those two silly lovers who then flit around Russia with no place to hide. Passion was to the author but a mere frosting on the cake, other factors being of more weighty consideration than the whims and artifices of silly Anna. And yet, nevertheless, here we have a ponderous literary masterpiece explaining, in a manner of speaking, what not to do. Imagine that. Actually, it is not unusual to find bookstores and libraries full of such dire warnings, mistakes, and telltale narrations if you only you could learn how to read. Literacy is important.

And how many times do I have to explain that I never got very far in "Vanity Fair"? Just because the household spy saw this volume sitting on my bookshelf for years, that does not mean that I actually read very much past the first chapter. I had good intentions but Thackeray's coldly sardonic tone and Becky Thatcher's empty brain, portrayed as entirely devoid of any sense of reality, grated on my nerves. Underwater basket weaving was never really on my class schedule.

Yes, this theme of a woman following her passion could have an empty, meaningless ring to it without some framework of reality to which her story can be properly and correctly attached. Otherwise, there is a great danger of taking everything out of its proper context. Even I can figure that out with half a brain. Enough said.

Which Reminds Me

I am suddenly reminded that Craig was from Indiana. And also Craig is German. Oh.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I do vaguely recall the existence of Victor from South Carolina but I always thought that Victor and I were mutually not interested in each other and that there never would be any reason to think that Victor and I would ever be in any sort of deeper relationship ever in this lifetime. Thus, when I hear Pam yapping about Victor and telling me that I should not get any ideas about him and that he would not make a good husband for me, I simply think that Pam is somewhat overwrought on this point as I already know that I am not interested in getting better acquainted with Victor from South Carolina. I already know that Victor really likes those Italian girls such as Rosanne and also Suzette, but they are both married now to others while Victor, who knows? is just some boring banker with no personality left in him to speak of, just stashing money in the bank that a bachelor may spend however he please. Anyway, I really don't care what Victor does. Like I said, I always knew that Victor and I were never going to get together so there would be no point to any further discussion of Victor. Victor was Craig's friend, not mine.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how rude of Pam to twist everything around as if Pam's boring ponderations on life were the only thoughts that ever crossed anyone's mind, and as if Craig were ever really a friend of mine that I should bother to introduce to anyone. Craig had dated Michelle, not me. When she said on the phone that she had lied about something I did not understand what she meant by that and even now I still don't understand. This has not much to do with the price of tea in China. I just don't want to hear another word from those annoying people. Good riddance to the Bowling Ball nuisance. I never see or hear another hint of them ever again.

Which Reminds Me

I recently remember that Maria, who was our maid when I was in the 10th grade, mentioned that she had previously worked for a Jewish family in another part of town and was not happy because they were very demanding. I don't remember any details of that, just that she said something about being glad to be out of there.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone is asking but really it is not my place, not my job to yank Peggy Swineheart off the platform whence she placed herself without even being on the schedule. And you ask me why there is no band? We were permanently disbanded. If Bill wants to get himself some other band he can leave me out of it. I have already been warned that anywhere I go to get involved there will always be this obnoxious pair of whiners, Peggy and Lisa, constantly whining and complaining about why I am not doing enough to get them more singing parts, as if I were somehow responsible for their mediocrity problem, as if I ever could tell Bill what to do, as if it were my job to give them more attention than they deserve. You can just go around killing people and then expect them to care later about your boring life.