Which Reminds Me

Perhaps Libby should get herself to a tattoo shop and have her entire body done over in a darkish walnut brown/black color. That way perhaps her true colors would really shine through for all to see, thus eliminating all doubt about that, not that we had any doubts about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is sad, in a way, that so much money and power should be invested in the mediocre talents of Tom. I always thought basically that Tom was extremely boring, his vocabulary limited to mostly F-bombs. I really don't remember anything else about Tom, and thus I am not missing anything important that I can recall.

Which Reminds Me

Whence comes this idea that it was my idea to go around screaming some crazy stuff and holding all these people from high school as my hostages? I wasn't going to write a book about them. That was Helen's problem but she died in the 1960s. There was no reason to imagine that I was going to do what Helen did. Quite the contrary.

Which Reminds Me

Why am I getting all these weird messages from those Cuban bores? I never had the slightest connection to Cuba. Oh, are you telling me that Debbie is Cuban? Well, I couldn't care less. Debbie was never my problem. Cuba was never my problem. Cuba is a place of no interest to me, a remote island full of desperately poor people. I was not planning to try to get something from them in regards to that. It is awkward to have those Dwaning and Dwindling whiners pretended to be related to me when actually they are only a sort of sideways in-law problem that I didn't ask for in the first place, and if I say anything about that my dear nephews will be so confused and angry with me. And if you hadn't asked that way, your voices out there twisting in the wind, then we wouldn't have to tell you what we really think about that. Which is that we are not so impressed with a system that is designed to kill you in the end, not so much me. I would have preferred not to do this. But I digress.

Which Reminds Me

Ok, so my logic was not so flawless. Even so, as it turns out I will not be going Dutch after all. So in future you are just out there all by yourself with nobody to blame but yourself for having to tow that Harpy Karen on a tight leash. That was not my problem. Enough said about that.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to remember that during high school Libby was a Jehovah's Witnesses, which is a cult that is not really considered to be Christian. So if Libby can't believe even the basics of the Christian faith, I fail to see why I should be required to taste of the devilishly horrible fate that awaits her. Maybe that is why she is so stressed out and puffing smoke. You can't live with one foot in the Bible and the other foot some other place else and expect me to figure out what you meant by that. You are not going to get much sympathy from me. It just doesn't work that way. I can rest assured that Libby will get her comeuppance without any help from me, my help having been disdained from the start, so I really don't need to say something about that. Even so, sometimes my logic malfunctions in awkward situations. When push comes to shove, I really can't give Libby what she is not getting. She has to figure that out for herself.

Which Reminds Me

The maid was paid well for the work that she did and now the maid is dismissed. The maid's services are no longer needed so you will really have nothing to say about my financial conditions in future. You have your paycheck in hand. We are leaving the country and will not feel ourselves under any obligation in future to have obnoxious persons such as yourself and your Porto Rican expectant dog entourage intruding upon our personal business. The old deal is off now and Patsy Cruise's attempt to bark orders at me will not be tolerated here in this country. I was never Patsy's maid anyway. You are only the hired help here so you must remember your place. Oh, is that what you were afraid might happen? In the old country you were the glorious leaders who condescended to allow the Protestant missionaries to get visas and do a small work on the margins of your Catholic society, but here in America you must remember that crowing about the glories of Spain will not be appreciated. Here in America you have to go and get a job and work work work. There is nothing else in this life but work work work. You must never forget that you now must do the works of Him who sent you to work in the harvest fields of the Lord, not just to do whatever personal whims might satisfy your personal cravings for uppity-up-ness.

Which Reminds me

Yes, there was a time in the past when I had acquired some degree of facility with Quark Xpress computer software but I know nothing of these other black hole expressions. You won't be getting that from me. You really should go to the source, whoever that might be. I really have no idea. I never claimed to have any special knowledge of astronomy or astrology.

Which Reminds Me

Correction: I am thinking that maybe there were maybe about 50 elected representatives. There were 100+ in our graduating class so maybe I got my numbers mixed up. Wouldn't be the first time.

Which Reminds Me

On another occasion, during a high school field trip we visited the National Assembly which is the place where the government's elected representatives were in session. There were 100 of them. So that was interesting. We were only there for a short time.

Which Reminds Me

Whose idea was it for us, during high school, to have a field trip at a local brewery? I don't remember why we were all herded into a bus and sent on a field trip. We toured a textile factory and saw huge swaths of material as they are woven. We toured a soda pop bottling factory and saw glass bottles rattling down the assembly line. Also we toured a beer factory and saw a huge vat wherein the various botanical elements of beer are mixed together and cooked and simmered and whatever they do until it is fermented. Then they sent us to a room and sat us down at tables and put a glass of beer in front of each one of us. I followed my mother's example and only touched my tongue to the foam of it and that was enough to convince me that I don't like beer. What a disgusting mess! Joan, on the other hand, drank her glass of beer as did many others. So? It is not my place to go around telling people what to drink or not. The prohibition era ended in 1933 so we cannot legally do that anymore. All your spells and incantations cannot summon the ghosts of the Anti-Saloon League and Temperance Union. You liquor people only wish you had some temperance characters to scorn, but you will not find us next time around. We just aren't going to be there. Next time, you can just sit there all alone and drink yourself to death without any help from us. Because you should be learning to think for yourself and making your own grown-up decisions.

Which Reminds Me

My mother tells me the story of her cousin or uncle or some such relation who was an alcoholic and often appeared at the back doorstep with beer can in hand. My mother says that she once touched her tongue to the can and experienced the bitter, horrible taste of beer, which further established her resolve not to drink alcohol in the future. So that is why we don't drink alcohol, because you are a drunk with a buzz and alcoholic system, not really a rational person with anything intelligent to say.

Which Remember Me

The way I see it, those country singers are actually highly paid shills promoting the liquor industry, not really persons with anything new to say. Thus we see hundreds, maybe thousands of country songs crowing about beer and whiskey and wine and that sort of thing. Well, it is a free country and you can drink whatever you want. But if I don't like what you're selling, why do I have to sit through 10 million free commercial messages broadcast from your bully pulpit? Actually I don't have to do that when I am not buying that. If I already know that what you're selling tastes bad and produces worse results long term, maybe I can just tune out your message from the get-go. Perhaps someone forgot to tell them that they are not paying our salaries. Well, you had better not forget that.

Which Remember Me

What, am I to apologize because Oscar could not control his leery looky glance overs when I opened the front door. Where was his wife Barbara at the time? I cannot remember. We were selling some of our furniture to them and they were came to our house to get something in relation to that. There was nothing so wild about what I was wearing. These brown people are always so shocked at the sight of white people, as if. Sometimes Oscar is so stupid, but we are leaving the country now and we need to get our furniture sold.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who was that nice lady who complimented my singing after the choir's high school musical? I don't remember who she was so such clues will not work on me. I just have no idea.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember hearing someone say that they are throwing me to the red-haired giants of Peru, as if I even know what that was supposed to mean. I have never been south of Nicaragua, much less in Peru. Besides that, I do not wish to claim any family relation to the clueless Walkers. What is this nonsense written by the Walkers, obviously some chips off the old clueless Walker block.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot say that I am not shocked at the rotten attitude on display by Jeff, Sergio and other persons caught, whether knowingly or not, in the Southern Conehead language trap. I had not previously realized how pathetically stupid those people were, or maybe not. The picture is not clear to me how deliberative and malicious that was or not. But the wall is a few levels beneath me at this point and I can now look down from this lofty vantage point at their idiotic rantings and wonder what were they thinking, but perhaps they could not do that so we have to give them some room to recant their idiotic positions, unless they would rather not. Anyway, as far as I am concerned they are not worthy to be dignified with further comment. It just wasn't that important.

Which Reminds Me

To echo something that I heard someone saying, and with which I can entirely sympathize, sometimes after a day of high school I come home feeling like the Getty kidnapping victim. You know, there is something that I am not getting but I can't quite get what that might be. What, you cut off an ear? You shameless barbarians, is that how you treat your friends? But perhaps you shrill Italian hags are actually the Getty abductors, not really his friends. This picture is not so clear. Well, if Peter can be forgiven for cutting off an ear, then we will not prosecute you on that point. Even so, I was expecting something more from life than just a pile of meaningless filthy dirty skulky dry bones crud. I think that I won't really need that for anything that matters.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit difficult for us to understand why the CIA establishment would be so fond of these dreary Italian con artist scammers. They go to such great lengths to make some minor penny's worth of points but they never do anything helpful to U.S. citizens such as myself. In fact, they make everything ridiculously hard because they design to obfuscate, being themselves heretical scam artists. And besides, Malta and Italy are not anywhere on my radar screen. So basically, they only care about themselves. Enough said about that.

Which Reminds Me

And where is this provision of the law written in fine print requiring that, for a passing grade, we all must kiss Tony's ugly face? Ick! Yuk! I don't even like Tony. Tony was Lori's stupid problem, not mine.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember when I was in high school reading Christian literature that focused on the emotional conflict between church and science, telling stories of persons who confronted their science teachers on such topics as evolution which seemed to contradict the idea of creation. I never actually did that in real life, just read stories and thought about it and maybe talked about something similar although I don't remember who, but that was a long time ago. I really don't feel that way now that my understanding has grown beyond that stage of maturity or rather immaturity. I think that there is probably a way to integrate science and faith when all is said and done but perhaps there is yet more to be said about that. Who can say what new and future discoveries will yet again change and reorient the way we think about the facts of life and the universe? I know I certainly cannot claim such a comprehensive knowledge of all things. I only see a tiny piece of the picture from my own point of view.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to remember that Porto Rican statehood is an issue that has been simmering on the backburner for quite a while now. However, the fate of these Porto Rican whiners is not an issue that concerns me, much less inspires me to write a book about their dreary boring lives in the Caribbean shadows, separated from power and authority granted only to the continentals, never mind about the idiotic yappings of some people in the background. I really couldn't care less about that. It is hard for me to care about the futures of such whiney scam artists when I cannot understand what your titular problem actually is. Don't you have a job and money in the bank and your own life? There is nothing more that you can get from me. I never owed any personal obligation to the obnoxious whiners of Porto Rico so, really, I think that I should leave such matters to persons who know what they are talking about because I really don't.

Which Reminds Me

Why this strange obsession with the name of Francis, or else Francesca? Frances Marken was our high school English teacher, Francis Schaeffer was our biology teacher and Italian Francesca was one of our classmates who some said faintly resembled the movie actress although I don't know about that, maybe she wouldn't appreciate such comparisons. But what about this private deal that Miss Marken had struck with the natives? I have no idea what that was about. No one ever really explained that to me so I guess it won't be my problem. There is no need for me to get all stressed out about something that is not my problem, never mind about the idiotic rantings of that fat ugly hog Libby Loser.

Which Reminds Me

Maybe someone is asking me about how Carmen got elected class president during our senior year of high school. I don't know why I don't remember anything about that. I don't remember myself voting for Carmen. Maybe I was not invited to participate in that election. Who were the nominees and any other details of that cannot be provided by me. I just have no idea what that was about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, in a way it is sad to leave these stupid Faulkner-Cox idiots rotting in their own private Koppeck hell, but anyway, just spouting a lot of Southern stereotypes does not a history book make. And anyway, who gave those stupid people a microphone? It just wasn't that important. It was just a "none of your business" type of thing.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I see all these puzzle pieces but I am not quite sure how these things all fit together. Nothing makes sense to me. I was not planning to defend some fat ugly slob who is on his way down and out, although I am not sure exactly what happened. If you are not going to do be doing your job as prescribed, well I can't say you are not going to get sick and die eventually.

Which Reminds Me

That was so annoying to be hearing these messages from Jeannie Duval, as if I would want to steal her stupid husband, Dan. Don't I have something better to do than socialize with these stupid married people? Are you so stupid that you don't you know who your wife is? Another reason to move somewhere else. What a hassle, and if I try to get a jump on killing you first, well, you won't like that either.

Which Reminds Me

I vaguely remember in high school someone mentioning the nun who worked part-time at our high school teaching maybe statistics, I am not sure what, and someone was saying something about her, although I cannot remember what, but anyway I am a Protestant and we don't have nuns in our church. If you are a single woman and Mr. Right never appeared, well then you just have to go and get a job and take care of yourself. You may get by with a little help from your friends and family and there is nothing else that needs to be said about that. So?

Which Reminds Me

So that is an interesting fictionalized piece that you people wrote without any help from me. Maybe you were expecting me to do something about that, but I am already gone and there is no way that I can pull out of this swamp all by myself. Without some divine intervention, there is just nothing that I can do about that.

Which Reminds Me

One day during high school in El Salvador, when all the missionaries were at our house were dinner, my mother was talking about the castles in her family and laughing about how if we were to go there to get inside the front door we would lucky to be the hired help, but of course they have plenty of help without us around to make a mess of things, ourselves being very far removed from the aristocracy, a few branches removed from royalty or nobility. Castles make interesting pictures in history books but maybe not a realistic goal for the average lower middle class worker to obsess about on a regular basis.

Which Reminds Me

I can't say that it wasn't a relief to me personally that Greg the sportswriter was fired given that he had stolen my computer password and broke into my account to read my files, not that there was anything very interesting there, but I had not said anything about that, just changed my password, because I am really not the type of person who goes around trying to get people fired. I am not sure where that idea comes from.

Which Reminds Me

Come to think of it, there is only one L in my last name, which maybe explains why I can't seem to find my calling.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do vaguely remember as a child hearing a story about the little boy down the street who got his mouth washed out with soap. Hmmm. I don't remember the specific words of the story, just that apparently he said something of which his parents did not approve. So yes, we got the idea so we really don't need to say anything more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that my Dad at one time had a book that discussed the Roman Catholic religion and explained how various aspects of their practices are somehow derived from earlier pagan religions that were syncretistically blended in the early centuries of Christianity. You asked me if I had read it and I said that yes I did read at least part if not all of it. Although I cannot recall the name of the author or the title of the book, I do seem to remember that it was illustrated with various drawings that always add interest for the reader. So? Nowadays, an infinitely kaleidoscopic variety of factoids can be explored online, easily rearranged into any configuration that may suit yourself and your own interests, by anyone with anyone with half a brain and an inclination to follow your nose. So anyway, just killing me, one reader of one book, burning a book or two here and there, is not going to solve your problem. I am just saying. If the paradigm shifts may someday leave you a stalemated pathetically boring sports writer, no longer able to access the building because of your being fired so that you really don't remember anything else after that point in time, having created a huge scene throwing your business cards all over the place on your way out the door, that is no concern of mine. I will not be doing your reading for you when obviously you will not be paying my salary to do that.

Perhaps we are fortunate that we can all leave these humongously megalithic swamp drainage projects to the highly salaried professionals who have access to Lexis-Nexis and other more advanced computer tools.

Which Reminds Me

Someone was telling me that the Dolly is somehow related to Ophelia and her family, a cousin or something of Ophelia, so Max is saying that he must defend Dolly against me, promote Dolly at my expense, which is sad because personally I would not want to be in a position of having to defend such a horrible person as that. I would not want to put my own reputation at risk to sympathize with such a worthless piece of garbage as Dolly. I already have to kill some of my own cousins rather than pretend to approve of their bad behavior, so this means that I also will need to kill Max and Ophelia among others. Which is an exhausting job and no one is going to thank me for doing it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, how well I recall Mrs. Richardson telling some people to just ignore those pastors over at the institute praying so loudly that she thought they were on the devil's side. I can see how the Baptist Bells and Reeses might take that stuff seriously but we Pentecostals know better than to make a public scene about that because we already know that the Baptists just don't get it. Come to think of it, I don't see Steve doing anything helpful. Sad about having to leave Steve wilting on the vine because that would be missing the point.

Which Reminds Me

Perhaps someone was asking me to explain why the bratty Wilson whiners were excluded from the Will. They only have one 'L' in their name. Oh. And yet their name recurs so often in the background record you would think that they were the sole representatives of Uncle Sam's interests. As if we even know what that was supposed to mean.

Which Reminds Me

And you never said one word about the problem of white slavery, about how they just want to use our bodies for their own experimentally genetic cross purposes, not because they care about who we are or what we might be thinking or not thinking about something that never happened. Who says that the white people will not someday become the minority victimized by the domineering Dark Side? Who will help us then? We must learn to help ourselves because nobody else is going to do it.

Which Reminds Me

I remember in 10th grade hearing Joan talk about having taken some of the diet pills of her older sister visiting from the U.S., and not only was she not hungry, she also could not sleep for two or three days and nights. Oh, so they were more than diet pills, they were "speed." Yes, I suppose that you could self-medicate at the risk of reckless self-endangerment, but anyway those were the only pills I heard tell of in high school.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why am I being targeted by these stupid Bay Area people? The Bangers, the Guildwtiches, the Wiccans, etc. etc. And I don't even know who these people are and they come at me with all of these weird stagings, as if that meant something, even though it meant nothing to me, just proves that there would seem to be something very malicious and wicked about their underhanded dealings behind my back that nobody told me about, and I am so glad that I did not have to attend four years of boarding school with those horrible people. That was the other option that was discussed but, really, high school is a misery however that may be, although I suppose that things could always get worse. Don't we all have something better to do than review that point yet again?

Which Reminds Me

Why would our very own college hire this stupid trashy woman, Florence Blakeley, to be our Dean of Women, and who moderated a conference with the stupid title of, "Sex and the Single Woman," which I conspicuously did not attend, because, why are you even thinking about that, you stupid Dolly Tart? Don't we all have something better to do than discuss the contents of Dolly's Farty Tarty head?

Which Reminds Me

During the two months that I roomed with Dolly, she showed me some pills that she was taking that she said were prescribed by her doctor due to cyclical irregularities, not the other reasons that one would normally assume. Later, Heather came in our room and saw the pills and gave a very different interpretation of the presence of the medications, and asked why didn't I create a fuss about that? Ummm. Yes, maybe I am too naively gullible to be commenting on such a thing. I had previously believed whatever Dolly said at face value. But then again, perhaps I should not believe whatever Dolly said about that. And also whatever did she mean about the doggie position? But then again, maybe I don't know everything. It was not my job to defend Dolly against herself. If you are your own worst enemy, who can help you? Not me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I don't see how you expect me to comment intelligently with this Dolly Ashtarte throwing interference. I just don't want to be bothered by them. Basically, that's all there is to say about that.

Which Reminds Me

How can there be justice in a world where I am expected to confess to the misdeeds of other people, whether known to me or not? What I did wrong I may have confessed, but the rest of that I cannot begin to explain, much less confess to.