Which Reminds Me

Yes, amazing the convolutions of those Hispanic idiots, but do not ask me to say that. I have no interest in going to Hispanic Hell with those nasty brats. I am only a translator.

Which Reminds Me

 Yes, that is awkward being mistaken for some magazine witch, something that I never was. Perhaps you have mistaken me for that wicked cousin, I forget who they were. That was not me. That was only you throwing them at me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and I could not care less about Jeff and his violently wicked Asores Portuguese rabble. Where is the police when one needs to make these nasty rich people submit to the rule of law?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, of course, I will need to refer all questions about Chilean street lingo to the Bueno brats, because I have no idea about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone was talking about the nun who was said to be teaching a class at our high school, but I never saw her so I have no idea who is saying what about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and I do not know any nuns personally.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you were saying something about Mark, although I do not remember any Mark. Mark who? There were several Marks. He was just wasn't that important to me. I forgot about Mark.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not remember inviting this stupid novelist Julie Flagstaff to my birthday party. I would never socialize with such trashy Hollywood lowlife.

Which Reminds me

Yes, I do not see how you expect me to control something, when the reins have been seized by the wicked evil murderous Warren family of Maine-Texas, who have purposed to make my life completely miserable. So, like, should I just commit suicide or what? What is all this nonsense that they have arranged behind my back? Their mediocrities are never ending.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, certainly, I think that your privately held Chilean street lingo is no concern of mine. Why should I trouble myself about the endless varieties of slang and street lingo around the world in every language? The only part that bothers me is your trying to shove that down my throat. Stay out of my head. You do not have a clue about what I think.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I noticed that Stephanie was masquerading as a U.S. citizen, even though everyone already knows that she is from the U.K. I don't see how people make all these arrangements and then expect everyone to pretend something that never happened.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I noticed that someone was wishing they could deport me to the Portuguese, but that could never happen. To me, sonnets are one thing, the Portuguese another thing entirely, a pigeon Spanish of obscure significance. I try to be nice, but I am not that fond of your vices, that I would care to roll over and play dead merely for the sake of your selfish gains.

Which Reminds Me

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was that party at Rusty's apartment across the street from the campus, and the living room was packed with people, and we all sat around watching that Star Wars parody movie, which I remembered having seen four years earlier during the first week of college, when everyone had been invited to watch that movie in the lobby of the dorms, when the lobby was packed with people milling around.

And then walking back to campus after the party at Rusty's house, who was that I was talking to, who was telling me about that Star Wars parody movie, and apparently there is a whole other story about that of which clueless me had not been informed. Didn't I remember that subliminal part that ruins the whole thing? Actually, I had not remembered that, whether because it was four year earlier or because there were many people milling around in the lobby and perhaps I had not been focused on the movie at that particular second, because I was sitting off to one side.

And also she was telling me that probably, I forget what she said exactly, who knows the details of what they did to that guy who had rented the movie and brought it to college for everyone to see during the first week of college.

And also there had been some widgets devised in regards to the principal persons who had been sitting in the couches at the center of the lobby, in cahoots with the guy who rented the movie in the first place. 

Yes, well, who knew all that stuff. I only remembered the funny parts, about the role of R2D2 performed by a vacuum cleaner and a kitchen whisk or clothes iron serving for a space ship on that low-budget parody of Star Wars. But, yes, it is unfortunate, that one thing makes it hard to care more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there are some people, it would be really hard for me to think of anything nice to say about them, but to say more about that would only give them more reason to kill me first. I already have enough problems.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I too think that the laws of science are immutable. The law of gravity is what it is. You drop things out a window and they might not bounce back the way you may expect. They might just go elsewhere on the planet to find a more habitable environment.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that a teacher of mine was saying that I did not seem to be paying very much attention to the details. And I thought that had something to do with my technique. But anyway, these broken records are always out there going around and around and around ad nauseum. I find it hard to pay my bills when you care choking off my income at every opportunity. How can I pay my bills without any income, no money coming in, or at least not enough? Why don't you answer that question? Huh?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember having noticed online some sort of notice that you were starring in a movie about "SIN." Oh! Who knew? And who was your co-star? Certainly not me. Needless to say. Obviously. 

Maybe you could ask Dauna to repeat what she told me, that the Italian girl told her about you, because I really do not remember exactly how that could happen. I did not understand. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, as I was saying to Cori, something about how sometimes if you do something wrong, that's the end of the story, and things will never be the same again. So, yes, that is how it is. You are just wasting your time waiting for me to retract that point, because that is never going to happen. Needless to say. Obviously. So next time find someone else to do your dirty Japan work, because I am NOT available.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is quite recently that I learned that my great-grandmother's mother's maiden name was Smith. Even so, I do see how I could possibly be related to that pile of Japan garbage. I already learned from my experience in college that those Japan MKs are the most back-stabbing traitors ever, so why would I want to trade gossip with them later? They don' t make any sense.

Yes, it is unfortunate that I am forced to spend forty years learning all this code language that I didn't know existed. Oh! And even so, so what?  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if truth be told, I am only half a B, being myself an AB, but someone had thought to substitute me for a B for this particular job, because, anyway, at least I have half an A, enough A to know when to shut up and leave well enough alone, whereas the BB type is compelled to talk nonstop without any time set aside for reading and research before opening the mouth. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot only sit here puzzled and wondering who came up with that stupid "Hoe-House" theory? I did not get that from my family history book, although it does seem nice that my great-great-grandfather helped to found a school to help reeducate these poor, pathetic women of a low level socially speaking. That is the only thing that I can get from reading my family history book.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I sort of got that Jill and Linda were vomiting all over me, even though I really do not quite understand why I should care to respond to that. Everybody knows how they are.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and next, I suppose you are expecting me to issue some commentary on how actually nobody is asking for your icky money. You are just a closet full of old shoes that nobody wants and you cannot even give that away.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was weird how Fonda appeared out of nowhere pretending to be associated with us. We have no idea what that was about. 

Also,

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really should admit that I am one of those clueless persons who cannot see much difference between Ukraine or Russia or all of those other places east of Europe, so don't be asking me about U.S. policy on these matters. I must defer to the U.S. State Department for official dictums on such matters. Needless to say. Obviously. Besides which, it is only quite recently that I learn that I might be less than 5 percent Chechnyan. Woo hoo! Who knew? 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable, standing there listening to Ms. Wilson disclosing to us —myself, Jill and Linda — the contents of her private medical records. I really did not want to hear more about that. What am I going to do with all of this personal information belonging to somebody else that I did not ask for, it being a mere coincidence that I happened to be standing there next to them? Maybe if I do not say anything about that, nothing will happen. But what if they are going to do something to prevent my doing something with their personal information, as if I cared that much about something of no interest to me?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that you could always file a citizens' FOIA to try to get any documents that you can get, if there be any, and there is no guarantee that you would get anything worthwhile in return, probably just some shredded and blacked out stuff that does not tell you anything helpful. So, anyway, whoever said life was fair?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot help but wonder why people are saying all of these absurd and puzzling things about banks. I used to know some people who worked for banks — Jim, Vic, Michelle — perhaps there was a time when they all worked together at the same bank, although I am not sure about that. I wasn't paying that much attention to their banking stories that I would be able to explain something about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does seem somewhat overwrought, this idea of yours to prosecute John Steinbeck for being a consummate liar and con artist, merely for committing the crime of writing a lurid and tawdry novel, inexplicably honored by that Swedish panel of ignoramuses. Whatever. Why can't we just dump Steinbeck in the "Fiction" box and forget about his nonsense? He just was not that special to us in the universal scheme of things.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember someone was telling me that the Jolly Roger was a good restaurant across the street from Fort Lauderdale beach, although it was closed at the time, and I don't think it ever reopened. It might not be there anymore. They might have redone that hotel and it is something else now, too expensive.

Which Reminds me

 Yes, I suppose that you could always ask Joan what she had going on with Kike because, anyway, I really would not know more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of high school, perhaps you are referring to that creepy weirdo Kike who had somehow developed some sort of infatuated obsession with me, and was following me around the campus pretending to be my "Latin lover" and spewing a line of verbiage that I cannot remember now, I was trying to ignore that and get on with my life, because anyway, after a while it wasn't funny anymore, and anyway, sometimes walking down the street there, going to the store, also some anonymous unknown guy will walk past and say, "I love you, baby," because anyway, those might be the only English words he actually knows, and he is only trying to practice what little bit of English he knows, with whatever white person happens to be there, so obviously that did not mean anything. 

Our high school class was taken on a field trip to see the movie, "Man of La Mancha," and afterwards, back at school, this Kike person would serenade me with "Man of La Mancha," even though I do not think that I look anything like Sophia Loren. It was only that my name sort of sounds like candy, which translated into Spanish means dulce, not really Dulcinea.

 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I can see that you are the face value of your worthless paperwork. That is so obviously plain to see: Blah! blah! Blah! Well, good luck trying to puff up your own little piece of nothing much all by yourself, because I am not even thinking about that. I am long gone by now.

Yes, I would sue some people for not having brain cells in their empty heads, but anyway, that is not necessarily their fault how they have been directed off into some other road to nowhere, and anyway suing would not necessarily accomplish any useful purpose. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember going for dinner at Doug and Brenda's hosue and after dinner we sat around watching a move of their choice, and it was a movie about a poor family, two sisters and a mother, and the one sister is very ambitious and the other sister is playing hookey an not adjusting socially, so the good sister appeals to social services and turns in her mother an sister to the authorities, and ultimately the mother and other sister escape on a boxcar train to anywhere else. So that was not exactly the most inspiring move, quite depressing actually. Who wants to be herded onto a boxcar and told you cannot take care of yourself? So that was a depressing movie. Obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am not saying that I have not overextended myself researching all of these trivial points that are of no interest to me personally and don't matter in the greater scheme of things. Truly, I ought to be able to work for my own rewards eventually, not only yours.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, another interesting thing I noticed about the Buenos was, on his mother's side, the existence of Ellen "Nellie" Stewart, who was born in London in 1845, so they too can boast of their Stewart ancestry, and they also have a Nellie. Oh, I didn't know that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of New Mexico,a few years ago I did some digging around in Ancestry.com and learned that the Bueno roots are actually in New Mexico, where Bueno was a Catholic priest ministering to those poor Pueblo dwellers. Oh, I did not know that. Surprising, because they had never mentioned that to us. As for us, we have no personal connection whatsoever to New Mexico, only driven through on my way to somewhere else, so don't know anything more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that the Spanish translators were exiled Cubans, who were really very nice people. I hope that is not going to be a political problem for Puerto Ricans. I don't have a very deep understanding of that issue.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I really cannot imagine what library book is missing or who might have taken it. Certainly not me, so shut up and stop harrassing me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not remember ever inviting that mentally retarded blithering idiot Byron to be part of my life, so where do those people get off pretending to be friends of mine

Which Reminds Me

Yes, well, I find it very difficult to feel guilty about something that I was not aware of. I cannot keep track of all these people when, anyway, nobody tells me anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, well, anyway, I do not consider it my job to worry about all of these assorted immigrants who are milling around doing whatever they want.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am somewhat annoyed yet with those people who are continuously staging all these little shows and tests, so that I would have to jump though a whole series of hoops to get to be friends with them and gain their trust, and yet I do not trust them for anything and, if truth be told, I intensely dislike them, especially after that, and I would just be lying if I pretended to care about their obnoxious attitudes, so take your test and shove it in your own face. Get lost.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot imagine why my Dad's silly nitwit Aunt Julia married that cranky old colonel who was from Wisconsin, as we learned more recently. As of now, there is no place in my life for a cranky old colonel from Wisconsin, so hope you are enjoying the comfort of your cemetery installation, because you have nowhere to go beyond that, or at least there is no more place for the colonel here. There is no more to say about the will of the dead. After the colonel died, there was a third husband for Julia, but we never saw him.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, why on earth did my Dad's Aunt Julia marry that cranky old colonel. I often forget about them. They just were not that important to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we learned later that his son has a poster of Messy, the famous soccer player, on his wall. Oh! That is not how the original seemed to read, but what would we English-speaking people know about the intricacies of Argentine politics? So what else could be garbled in this manuscript shuffle? Maybe that is why the English translation did not appear in public.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that magazine seller that you sent to target me was really very good at his job of selling magazines. I almost bought the magazines. But then again maybe I really cannot afford that. So it was I had to be firm about not buying and to get rid of him. The second magazine seller, at another place, was dispatched much more quickly.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am noticing that my chances of being the victim of a violent crime in the town where I live are 1 in 657, vs. 1 in 255 for the entire state of Florida. So obviously bad things can happen everywhere at any time. There are no guarantees in life. And given that I am not paid to function as your personal security guard, I cannot be expected to know about all of these bad things that happened to you in particular, even assuming that you were not juxtaposing time and place of bad things that happened to various persons. I just have no idea what you are talking about, much less hat I should say about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of Mr. O'Farrell, I am once again reminded that there was a time when an entire colony of feral cats living behind my grandparents' house. There were tall hedges then, and the cats would disappear into the greenery and scavenge in garbage pails, and finally the animal control took them away and disposed of them somehow, we dare not ask how. They were such cute cats and also there were little kittens, such cute little three-colored sort of like calico cats, but they would not stand still long enough to interact with human beings, if you fed them something they would grab it and run, gone in a flash. Wild cats seem to have no interest in responding to or interacting with human beings, so there was no use thinking too much about the feral cats.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, as children we were marching down the road that is between the Bible institute and the mission house, and singing the Salvation Army, and some witch tried to flip us to the driveway of another house down the street, which is the home of a Jewish family. I do not remember ever going to that house, but they were friends of the Stewart family and they gave the Stewarts a tour of their ice cream factory, where they produce the Polar Star ice cream bars. Or was it the chocolate bar factory? You would have to ask them to verify the factory details, because I do not remember anything about that. I only remember something that Susie told me about them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that as children we were taught the Salvation Army song and I can't quite see which witch is having a problem with that, and if that is a problem to you, then maybe we are not ready to talk about that, or at least you are not ready to listen. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember someone remarking to me something about the way they are obsessed with documents, and something about what they do with the wording of them, but I completely forget who was telling me that and I do not remember any specific example. Was I overhearing something? People often say crazy things and, so what? I am not very interested in learning more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I too am curious about these documents, what documents, who did what to the documents, etc. 

If I had the documents I certainly would not have any problem turning them over to the government, and revealing probably more than enough information, needless to say, but as it is I do not have anything to say about that. I am no longer on speaking terms with those people.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that at some time during or before math class, one of the Whitaker twins was reprimanding me for some reason, I forget why, excuse me for existing, perhaps she was feeling a need to establish her authority as the teacher's aide, so, Ok, whatever, fine. I am not in math class at the moment, so I do not need to worry about accidentally clashing with them, better to avoid them entirely because they only seem to hate me automatically, and I really don't care them either. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, one can easily imagine that such persons as Patty Allwood probably have some connections in the U.S., given the assumption that her father at least is American. But since I never had any class with her or much of an opportunity to compare notes on these matters, There are now 333 million people inhabiting the United States of America so I cannot be expected to keep track of all these people. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember at the office, when I was an editor and trying to coach brand new writers, I was glad that one time Brady and I met with our new writer, who was really very good at writing, but, his writing was full of these off-color cliches and pop media references that were not appropriate, and Brady explained that very well. I don't think that I need to repeat that after he said that so well, but these new people are sometimes do not listen very well.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if you were to ask I would tell you that my sister also was born in May, so we are both of the Gemini sign. Even so, that does not make us twins. I am not my sister's ingrown toenail, obviously. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, isn't that a funny and meaningless coincidence, that I was born in May, under the Zodiac sign of the Gemini, and coincidentally there are two sets of twins in my high school class. But of course that means nothing. I never consult horoscopes. I don't waste my time reading my horoscope daily in the newspaper. I won't need that for anything. Useless.

which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that in our high school yearbook, there was a photograph of the four or five people in our class who had attained the honor of being chosen for the National Honor Society. I was not in that photo and neither were you, needless to say. Now there is a nice honor if you can get that. And I would only be speculating based on appearance, but if some of those persons were not United States citizens, whose national honor are they being called on to defend? And even so, it might not seem fair to exclude them based on citizenship, when they have the GPAs to qualify, not to mention being the representative math and science geeks. And if I am not a member of the National Honor Society, does that make me a citizen of some other country? So I suppose that I could logically make some points, although it may seem unnecessary, about how I will be just fine without your pokeys on the National Honor Society membership, thanks anyway.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, isn't that interesting how the Bells may be finding advantage to their name in that little Longfellow widget about Christmas carols, having heard the Bells on Christmas Day. When will I get to see the movie? Alternatively "The Bells of Lynn." How convenient for them to find a free ticket to rule the Universe. Oh, I had not noticed that before. This is the first time that I finally see that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember how to play Monopoly. So you own Boardwalk and Park Place, and I am always going to be happy when I am able to skip past your overcrowded properrties and not have to land there, only to be killed by your money-taking machine gun. Needless to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember reading in the family history book something about my great-great-grandfather in the 19th century visiting his cousin who lived somewhere in Louisiana, maybe on a plantation, where is that book to double check, I don't quite remember everything, but anyway, that was then, back before we forgot who those people were. Probably we do have some distant cousins living in Louisiana, who wrote the history book, but they are gone now so probably there will not be another edition of that book, given that what else could there be to say about that when there is nobody left alive with any brain cells to explain anything more? So our common ancestor was William Brownlow Mclellan, whose wife was Amanda Melvina FitzAllen Moore, which some persons were disdaining our branch, something about the Moore connections, I don't see where the More part comes from, but anyway, I can't speak for the crazy people of Louisiana, of which, Oh I forgot that Denham is also from Louisiana, because anyway, we represent the other part of the family in that we are smart enough not togo there and and not to get involved in their crazy stuff. How could you not know that? Oh, did I forget to mention the people we are studiously avoiding?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that during the time I was in California at college, that once Grandma Calkins took me shopping and we went to a department store and she had me try on a pink dress, which looked terrible on me, and the dress was not bought. The thought of drinking Pepto-Bismol makes me feel a little bit nauseated, so why would I ever be caught dead wearing a pink dress?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, the one time that I was talking to Tinker, I remember that she was complaining about being stuck in Dummies class, and also she made some cryptic comments about the elections for the Yearbook staff, alluding to some confusion over there, which, anyway, I was never on the Yearbook staff so I really would not know what their issues would have been.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that Tinker was complaining that she was placed in high school Dummies class, not in Honors class. She was protesting loudly that it wasn't fair, but whatever. I cannot explain why they sometimes put those garrulous quarrelsome Bees over there in Dummies class. Why should I complain about never having been in any class with her, so how would I know what they do over there?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting how anyone would take seriously the idiotic rantings of tinkers who are declaring themselves to be my ancestral enemies, something about the family coat of arms and a dimly understood story from the 1500s. People who automatically hate me based on such flimsy evidence well deserve to be ignored and disdained as unworthy of further consideration.

W'hich Reminds Me

Yes, one sort of gets the impression that Robbie and Kim are stuck in a box with Denham. What was that outrageous thing that Denham said to them? It was a private to them so we cannot help you with that when we have yet to hear what is your problem. Is there a problem?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I am noticing that you are not sounding very grateful for the services of the Good Samaritan off-duty paramedic who stopped to help. He was holding or massaging your neck, after you had been walking around seemingly unhurt before that, but then the paramedic started asking you questions, and finally the ambulance came to carry you away. At that time people did not have cell phones, but anyway all you have to do is ask for the police report to confirm the paramedic was there, but of course the Good Samaritan laws perhaps do not allow for revealing his name, and I do not have that. Sorry, can't help you with that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I never claimed to be any good at judging distances: 10 feet, 50 feet, 100 feet, whatever. That did not matter so much, even if the light was green, which I still think it was, when the traffic in front of you is not moving, so you just have to stop, red or green matters not so much as stopping sooner than later, which I was a bit late stopping, and is it not true that in such cases, the fault always belongs to me, the back-ender? So, yes, whatever the insurance company says. I thank State Farm for being there to take care of you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I can only hope that you were not expecting me to fashion some commentary or opinion article on the mediocrities of a certain little pottery shop, of whose existence I was not aware until quite recently, so obviously I have never been there and have no idea what that is. I forget which art student, was that at my first college, who was talking about their experience at the kiln and showing off their resulting vases or jugs. Ok, so that's nice. But I have no expertise in the area of pottery so I cannot help with your art show. Iconoclasm is not a fad at the moment, lucky for you. If you want to clutter your life with bric-a-brac, go right ahead, nobody is trying to stop you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is hard to imagine in these modern times, a stadium full of people clamoring loudly for Diana of the Ephesians. Only football gets that sort of acclaim in Amierca. Of course, Diana continues to be a very popular name for girls. However, the link between idolatry and the craftsman's art not being what it used to be in people's minds, the lines having been redrawn somewhat, nowadays persons with artistic talent have plenty of legitimate ways to exercise their craft and be financially independent, without running afoul of some medieval throwback cousin. I suppose that is one of the points for the Spencerites of South America to remember.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, easy for you to crow about move here, move there. Nobody broke your economy so you can do whatever you want. Easy for you to sit there like a billion dollar cash cow, oh, just another coned Blondie on her broomstick crowing about her money. But that does not really make anything happen over here. I think that I have done enough already to disqualify myself from having to work for stupid Blondie on her broomstick. Hopefully that leaves me OFF the hook. Did you not get the message? Do I really have to go through all of that stupid farce all over again to prove once again that I am disqualified?