Yes, now that you mention the name of Mayme Doxtater, I cannot help but wonder why I have never heard of this person. Mayme who? Mayme nee Johnson? I really could not care less, at this point, about the existence of the Colonel's trail of pathetic divorcees and who knows what other broken hearts. The official records clearly show that my Dad's crazy dingbat Aunt Julia did marry that cranky old fart in 1962, but I had not looked much farther into that. I really could not care less about the useless detritus left behind in Wisconsin. It is somewhat mystifying to me to learn that my aunts and uncles and cousins had made all of these secret deals with the military, of which I was not informed, and suddenly by osmosis I am supposed to automatically know what they are talking about, and here I am only finding the clues they left behind because they were attending to the wrong party. How is that my fault?
Why all of this silly chatter about Auntie Mame? I might have seen that 1958 movie on television once or twice, and it was well done and the star, Rosalind Russell, won best actress awards for her portrayal.
Coincidentally I was born in 1958.
Coincidentally, one of my only memories of the colonel was that one time that we were all gathered at that house where Aunt Julia and the Colonel lived, to watch the presentation of slides from my Dad's Cousin Suzanne's yearlong trip around the world. There was one particular slide of a temple in India, at which point Cousin Suzanne said that she could not fully explain due to the presence of children in the room. That wasn't the first time that she had said that. Finally I spoke up said something about how that didn't seem fair to us children. Well, it was true that I should not have said that, it wasn't that important, and certainly Cousin Suzanne was right about that and had good reason to say that, knowing as I do now more than enough about the horrible and disgusting way that India treats women in their pagan culture. And it is also true that Suzanne did not say that again throughout her presentation.
And the result of that is that I am permanently stigmatized for life because of some stupid thing that I said when I was 12 years old, thank you very much Mr. Colonel Misfit.
