which Reminds Me

Yes, I had paid off my first student loan, and years afterward I was still hearing about that from various sources, as if that were still current information. Perhaps I should make their wishes come true and commit financial suicide, because nobody seems to want me to win something. Would that make you feel better and solve that problem?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot quite remember how it came about that, while moving from California to Virginia, I forgot to put in a forwarding order to have my mail forwarded to me. Even so, I cannot quite understand how it happens that the post office delivers my mail directly to the office of the private detective on whom you spent thousands of dollars to follow me around and dig up dirt on me, the result being that I owe you $60. Or else you are my landlords. Ok, fine, where is the bill. If you are so clever, why can't you find my forwarding address and send that along to me forthwith? I am just saying, interesting where all these people are getting their information from.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, digging deeper into the Dwight research, we find that Mr. Henry Otis Dwight apparently had a daughter named Helen, with his second wife, who married a Mr. Harold Henry Fisher, and they had a son named Anthony, who married Laura Wilson, and they had three children, but probably I would guess their children do not include my past co-worker Bonnie Fisher, who left to work for a charitable organization, Food for the Poor, who work mostly in the Caribbean. Anyway, I am not going to be working for them. I am not wealthy enough to be a donor, already have enough obligations on my list, and not poor enough to need their food, so obviously I am not expecting to be hearing from them any time soon.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, truly, I cannot think of communicating in your private Turkish language that you are using at home to educate your children in the Turkish way. However, you really should not imagine that, merely because I speak the publicly used English language, that I do not have my own private life inaccessible to you, myself not being a public receptacle used for venting all of your frustrations of motherhood. I have better things to do than sit there in a public classroom and be privately thrashed and whipped by every private language that comes along. Yes, maybe the career of school teachers is not for me. Let Miss Pill explain herself if she can, because I do not quite understand what all of this hubbub is about.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is somewhat of a mystery how this tt'Backy trash Dwight came to attend our college. I could not really say whether there be any brain cells in his empty head. The fact of his belonging to the Tobacco Chewers Quad should have been a clue, but anyway, those girls did not want to let such matters get in the way of their reproductive rights, so whatever. Nobody is going to say anything about that anyway beyond the fact of college admissions standards not being what they used to be. So now their butts are glued permanently to a pile of worthless Dwight garbage that nobody wants. So, La-di-dah! So how is that my problem? I had no connection whatever to this worthless Dwight garbage.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, my mom had said that she had an uncle who died in WWI, but now reviewing the family history book that is apparently not exactly true. I was confused. It was my mother's cousin who died in WWII, Uncle Rennick's son Robert. He was MIA so one tends to assume that he probably died.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, so you did not like the way the world was divvied up in the treaties made after World War I, Mr. Harrison Dwight having served as a translator at the Peace Conference in Paris in about 1918. Well, La di dah. That's the way mop flops sometimes. Who am I to say how the translation of one word or another might affect the balance of power, and left one or another parties feeling slighted? That's just the way it is.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, well, moving along, digging deeper into the Dwight hole, we find that Henry Dwight, although born in Turkey, after a long missionary career, retired later to New Jersey. He had a large family, having had three wives, two of whom presumably died in Turkey, and several daughters, but only one son who survived to adulthood, Harison (Harri-On?) Griswold, not to be confused with his grandfather Harrison Gray. 

The son Harrison also wrote various books about Constantinople. Ok, fine, whatever. Myself not having been aware of the existence of these persons until quite recently, I can only say that I have never spoken a word in the Turkish language and so cannot claim to be that illusrious translator. 

So there is an interesting configuration of Byzantine mysteries, upon which I have no reason co comment, so cannot understand why I should care about the idiotic commentaries of Mr. Hard Knocks, a person completely unknown and of no interest to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot quite remember who it was that was talking about the Seder dinner they had attended, invited by their Jewish friends. That might have been a first term thing, was that Alexandra or was that the Wilson girls or someone else? My memory is somewhat blurry on this point. And I am assuming that was a very interesting evening for you, but it is OK if you do not invite me to go along. I might feel uncomfortable with that, actually, not knowing really who your Jewish friend was or any other details of that. I don't feel bad if I am not invited to everything going on in the universe, I cannot be expected keep track of all these people. 

I do not remember myself ever claiming to be Jewish, and if I choose not to drink the wine, would that make me a Muslim? And also, if I were not an Italian, would that make me Jewish? There is some type of bug in your binary code but I cannot quite spell it out with such ncomplete information.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, wouldn't that be so rude of me to say, it would never be my place to say anything in any way predictive of whenever or whether people might eventually begin to get a bit bored of this Giffypuke dog food you are always serving up. I really don't talk about such things, only dump the dog food uneaten into the garbage basket because, anyway, even though dog food might have been quite a fad in its day. I have other things on my mind than dog food brands.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember hearing that Johnny Rents was muttering threats about his plan to make my life completely miserable. Well, La di dah! Rents was a bit of a Florida cracker who is best left undescribed by me, especially as I heard he and his family have long ago moved to Louisiana and thus will never again be part of my daily life anyway, so no reason that I should be worrying about that. And I often eat crackers for lunch. He does not really have much to go on. He only wishes he had more.  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do think that much equipment is required for serving the Fondaeu, none of which is available at this location. I should not have to be explaining this over and over again. How many times do I have to explain that the only Jane of which I am aware is now married to the Stewarts, so obviously not the Jane that you are talking about. Jane who? I don't know anything about that. Who knew back then that Turner was a spy for that hostile Jane? Only looking back now do I see some interesting points in regards to that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot help but ask the question, about what if I should happen to randomly select a book on the shelf, not knowing its contents in advance, and should randomly open the book to some random page, and should happen to glance upon some interesting tidbit, something that you might construe as a gun in some other context unknown to me, thus presenting itself before my unsuspecting eyes. How then am I guilty of stealing guns? You people are so stupid. Should I thus allow you to intimidate my reading habits only for the sake of your selfish greedy interests, as if the universe revolved only around your actually dull and uninteresting life?  

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that someone was asking why we had allowed the Sanchez family admission into our small school for missionary kids when actually they are not missionary kids, their father being a doctor. Could it have been because their mother was a white person? Because really there was nothing special about those little street urchins. The last thing I would need later would be to hear the obscenities of trashy Canadian hoe Rhina screeching in my ears, but anyway, they have more problems than I could possibly begin to explain. And do they ever thank us for extending Christian charity to their mother in her sadly pathetic situation? No, never, not at all. All they do is complain complain complain.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, certainly I would never be caught dead sucking face with those horrid little brats Bobby and David. I don't understand how that got all flipped around backwards. It will be nice to get back to my own country where I can leave those nasty little brats behind in the dumpster, but of course I would never really say that, I am a Christian, I have to be nice and loving and at least pretend to care. I have to professional when I am at work. I cannot allow this rabble to degenerate into a crazy mob scene.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember the time when I was fired from a telemarketing job. I could not pass the three-month probation time, due to my rather low ratio of sales over the telephone. Oh well, time to move on to the next thing. However, one cannot help but wonder whether the result might have been different if I had purchased that crystal that you were peddling to me during break time, purportedly as a valuable source of energy. Did my refusal seem to you a snarky brush-off? Oh well, perhaps it is just as well that I did not get stuck there in a box with Ed. Sometimes getting fired is not the end of the world. Besides which, there is such a thing as too much clutter of bric-a-brac.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, lawyers are such sharks, and you know very well that it was not I who went after that old lady, and also you know that if she does not like what I say about her she will call the publisher and complain about me and seek to have me fired, Several people said that to me, even though I am only dong my job and am not their official propagandist, although they do not seem to understand that. They think that I will be just like the previous reporter, who seems to have been a fawning propagandist of their cause. For what do I need this worthless job. There are no perks and no privileges, only obnoxious activists filling my ear with their worthless rants.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I much prefer to pay my own bills and be responsible for my own obligations due. However, the next time that you assign to me this ambitious project to be performed in the role of wealthy heiress, I think that it is only fair that I be provided with the corresponding fortune in terms of millions of collars required to satisfy all of these frivolous demands upon my attentions, and also the requisite position of authority to make my orders stick, because anyway without the money mostly nothing is going to happen no matter what you are saying over there, no matter what fanfare you may muster in the ozone layer, because anyway this is not a time for lowest common denominator politics. Needless to say. Obviously. Why should I waste my scarce time and energies on those little weasels

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot say anything about those Episcopal people, I do not understand why they are calling on the phone or what do they want. Perhaps they are mocking us because we do not interpret the Bible in the same way that they do, but generally speaking we are all Christians at least in a nominal sort of way. What? Am I God that I would decide who gets to heaven or not? Perhaps you will be surprised on the other side to find people you were not expecting to find there. I don't know. We are not supposed to make rash statements on these points. It is a personal thing. It is a personal relationship, but what would you know about that? I have no relationship with you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, myself having never gone snow skiing in my entire life, certainly it is fair to say that these various snow skiing resorts such as Aspen do not register any blip on my radar screen. Given the right circumstances, certainly I think that I could learn how to snow ski eventually, but anyway that does not appear or at least is not a high priority on my list of things to learn how to do before I die. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who know pre-Facebook that Michelle Whittaker was married to a Mr. Lilly? Who know pre-Facebook that her twin sister Pat was living somewhere in Atlanta area? Even so, I was not actually on speaking terms with those people during high school, so as to not accept delivery of any more of Pat Whitaker's little problem packages. All they want to do is give me problems problems problems. I have enough problems already without starting another thing. Perhaps someone forgot to smash that broken records.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was somewhat alarming, being not really asked, but almost compelled over my head, to make a show of my lunchtime at high school, mainly because Janie Walker has a lunch program, because her late child Charlie was such a special little boy who would often give away his lunch to the poor children nearby his school, although he died at a young age, and does that mean that I am compelled to give away much lunch and discuss with them my lunch situation? I would really rather not discuss my personal life with those people, whoever they were.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting how they always assume that I will be lying, even when I had not through of trying to do that. But of course anything I might say or do can easily be construed or misconstrued one way or another to produce whatever result they want.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do not think that I am not in any strong position to be putting on a show of my high school years and the miseries thereof. So it is somewhat bewildering to hear that they want me to do such a thing. Who cares about the nasty snobs of high school? I might as well not exist if life is all about high school. Won't I just look ridiculous in comparison to the probably dazzling high school career of Janey back home in the United States, unhindered by these controversial issues of international diplomacy? And then after I put on a show they will come back behind the scenes and steal all of my friends away from me, so why bother? I don't need their money for anything anyway. Rich people might be surprised to learn how rarely we think of them. So what if they are now running the World Development Banks? That would not be my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that someone at work gave me some sort of catalogue from which, Ok, I bought one of those books which, after glancing through it, I am thinking that it was one of those books in a box to be sent to the Goodwill years ago because I could not understand what they were talking about. 

Even so, we do have the family history book here, we were not the persons who gave it away.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, speaking of the scripting department, I suppose that I could possibly say something about how inappropriate it was for them to leave me with that responsibility. I do think that Dolly Bang-Bang would be a completely inappropriate choice of guidance counselor for young girls at the start of their vocational careers, but fortunately I did not have to say or do anything about that. There was a car accident in which her foot was severed and later reattached at the hospital, which seemed to discourage her college ambitions, having to go to class on crutches with a cast on her leg. I heard later that she was saying some nasty things about her time at our college and about us, whoever she remembers how she remembers thigns, but she always was such a horribly unpleasant person to be around at that time. Hopefully she would get saved later, but at that time she was a horrible person.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is interesting to see yet another flood of ESL speakers sweeping across the borders, people whose English language skills will mean a skyrocketing demand for more ESL teachers and classrooms to accommodate their transition to living in a country where English is as yet the dominant language. Perhaps we will need to learn a new version of pablum English to accommodate them, to avoid confusing similes and metaphors and figures of speech that may get lost in translation and whose meaning may be misunderstood easily. We cannot realistically expect them to appreciate the vibrancy of the ancient English as spoken by my grandparents, much less that of ancient times of yore in merry old England, which makes us sad, but anyway time goes on.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to remember that the family history book says something about how my ancestor founded  some sort of vocational school for women. That would have been probably somewhere near LaGrange, Texas,  in the 19th century, and I do think that that was in connection to the church denomination that he helped to found, the Cumberland Presbyterian to which I personally am not associated, but certainly not a bad idea to have some educational option available for those poor women who otherwise might have been abused and trafficked for nefarious purposes. So I really do not see what problem there might be with that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I personally do not own a gun, but I cannot speak for some relatives who may own guns, although I really don't knokw much about that. I could own a gun if I wanted to buy one, but I don't really want that responsibility of having that deadly thing in my house.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I was invited to go on a hiking trip with some people from that organization that was founded by Bill Bright, what was the name of that, and it was quite a steep climb for four hours, but I was glad to have done that anyway. and there was a service held at the summit with some singing and a sermon. In contrast to David,  I never did have a photographic memory, so some of the details have faded in my mind. And I later forgot who invited me to do that. 

Incidentally, it once happened that I was sitting at a table in the library wtih some other people who were talking about their cabin on top of the volcano. Who was saying that? I forget. Maybe Sandra although I could be mistaken.

And separately from that, I remember hearing some information about the history of El Salvador, probably from Mr. Ph.D. in history Everett Wilson, who wrote various treatises on the topic of El Salvador. It is said that in anicent times there were a dozen or so families who ruled that country as a sort of oligarchy, but who they were I really could not say. I wasn't paying that much attention to these details of history during high school. I was only trying to get my homework done. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was weird how during maybe tenth grade someone invited me to go hiking on the volcano, and overall I was glad that I had done that, even though there were some unpleasant aspets of that. And then later, or else earlier?, at school someone was talking about their cabin at the top of the volcano, and somehow these two different events have merged in my brain and I cannot quite remember who it was who was talking about their cabin and who it was who invited me to go on the hiking trip with the people from the CA organization. I completely forget who that was, and then the completely forgotten person who invited me to go on the hiking trip never returned to our high school after 10th grade so there was no reason for me to rehash these points. I really don't see why I should care to hear more about that. The cabin wasn't my problem. I wish you would ask me qu4stions before throwing junk around.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, having read the family history book, I already know that those Southern Rebels hate our guts, but anyway, the Civil War has been over for more than 120 years now. Who cares about digging up old grudges harbored by some slave driving vicious nasty Colonel Lee? What does that mean now? The alphabet is spelled out in the family history book and I am not going to apologize now for my ancestor having sabotaged your Confederate cause.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, interesting how all of these gamesters have all of their moves all plotted and planned without ever consulting me or informing me as to what are these rules, beyond that they always have to win. Thus, I think it only fair that I withdraw my existence and not exist, given that the game will go on just fine without my existence there to interfere with whatever is happening on the game board.

Which Reminuds Me

Yes, I suppose that if my Dad is 9 percent Chechen ethnicity, that makes me less than 5 percent of that, which is almost nothing, at least not very much to be concerned about. And what is Chechen anyway? I do not identify myself in any Russian sort of way, given that I am predominantly English and Scottish, probably closer to 80 percent. So what if there is a Chechen ancestor somewhere back there in the distant past? David had in his ancestry that Moabite woman Ruth, and yet he rose to become the King of Israel, so the anointing of Samuel and his personal charisma probably overcame any of these other obstacles to reaching the top. Yes, so I can say that there is a point to hammer on and throw around, now that my parents have done their DNA tests. Not that I would be aspiring to royalty. That would be merely a point of encouraging self-confidence and not to be discouraged, not to worry.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, every time you say that I am reminded of that horrible photograph in the family album of me when I was 13 years old, so awkward, sitting their with braces and such an unladylike posture. What was I thinking? I look horrible in that photo, not something that I would want to define the rest of my life. But anyway, there matters are really none of your business. What would you know about that? You would not be able to appreciate me anyway, so why would I ever discuss that with you?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, we do have moments, upon hearing all of this chatter, of wondering what are they teaching those whacky sociology majors over there in that department. I never did have any desire or interest in transferring to the Sociology departments, so that would not be my problem. I cannot speak for those sociology majors, obviously, but interesting how they constitute some of the most annoying loudmouths out there online, at least at this present time. Even so, I really don't care that much about hearing what they are saying over there in the sociology classroom. My most recent degree was in theological studies, not sociology. Needless to say. Obviously.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was nice of them to host a party for the music students at the home of the wife of the college president, the late Barbara, who was one of the music students at that time, and that was an interesting event featuring famous singer/songwriter Kelly Willard, who sang some of her songs and played the piano, and also other events also were held at their hosue, so some months later Karen, president of the Musicians' Guild, was saying something about an event that was being planned, and I said something about maybe you could ask Barbara about having it their house, and Karen thought that was a ridiculous idea, I do not know whether because I said that or else some other reason. So, I do not remember subsequent events being held at their house, I did not really care where they hold their future events, I did not care that much anyway. I was surprised later to hear some idiotic commentaries emanating from Larry and Karen, I had not realized how stupid those Chicago people really are. I have no room for those Utah riff-raff in my life. Their services will not be needed. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I cannot help but wonder whether worthless broomtstick Jessica Robbin-Tiwst is somehow related to that worthless broomstick from college, Janice Hoppin-Twist or whatever her name was, one of those boring types of girls who I mostly ignore, who must be seen dating a guy no matter what guy. The whole point for them is to be seen dating a guy, no matter how that works out later. The whole point for them is only to be seen dating a male figurehead and posing for pictures in the Homecoming Queen's court. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, gone are the old days when we could freely laugh at those crazy Clinton jokes you were telling us, at a time when who knew. Now that we are independent of these party politics, we have to be more circumspect about how we address these politicians of either side, given that you never know which way the wind is blowing and which side might have been more advantageous to vote for one way or another. Why put ourselves in a party box when the issues are larger than that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, wouldn't that be nice if the wicked evil scammers of Utah would issue a refund of the money they scammed. But that is what scammers do, they take your money and give almost nothing for it, things that can be found elsewhere for almost free.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to think that I would be too old by now to think of joining the military. The last time I thought to look at the rules, it seemed to me that that there was an age limit, and by now I certainly would be way too old to think of going that route, so the military option does not really seem to exist for me in real life, and it never seemed appealing anyway given various factors. My military cousins never cared what happened to me anyway.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do think that it would give me great pleasure to kick your despicable bushy butt all the way to the curb, but anyway that would not be my job. I must leave it to the U.S. military to decide how best to dispose of this boring worthless Jessica Robin-Twist masquerading as something of interest to us. Obviously there is really no King in clueless Dana Ducky's name, she would only be the hired help, obviously. But not knowing who these people are or why I should care about either side of that. Can't you find someone else's life to steal, because I might have other things on my mind than puffing your stupid wino agenda. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone was talking about Roberts having taken away all of the dollars, leaving us with these few crumbs. What is not so readily apparent is that your Roberts is really not a Roberts, only a Johnny-come-lately Robin Twist. So when you really start to look at the roots of that, you really have to wonder why no one is prosecuting those Robin Twist impostors for something, although I would not know what for.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, here we are again, back to the point where I am explaining that there is no "u" in my name. You were confused and I was explaining that no, I am not related to the Olympic swimmer Tracy, don't know anything about that. But I already told you that more than once.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and the funny thing is that I do not think that i said anything about Jimmy, and yet you obviously are only wishing that you could have caught me saying something that I had not thought of saying, which only makes me wonder whether someone said something, although I would only know it wasn't me, which is not exactly who said what. But not much can be expected form those party poopers, and yet we understand that they have their mandatory scripting that they are trying to fit in somewhere, something about stealing my potential man, "Not you," whoever he might have been. After all, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, when I ponder the fact that when I am weak He is strong, then I am not quite sure what you are getting at with this constant drumbeat about being strong. We see that President Wilson appointed Mr. Strong as the second governor of Alaska Territory, even though he was a Canadian bigamist who did not seem to have bothered to apply for naturalization as a U.S. citizen, so that is said to be the reason why he could not be appointed to a second term. So,hmmm, who is to say what is Strong? What is weak? So, whatever. 

Which Reminds Me

 Yes, I seem to remember that you were asking me about my Dad's ordination as a minister, and I was saying that I had seen a photograph in the family collection, so obviously my Dad was ordained. Who were these people in the photo, I really could not say. I did not extend an invitation for you to come to my house to be nosing around in other people's business.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that I was not the first choice of persons assigned for the Egypt mission. Judy VIk was their first person and she was asked first before me, but she was too afraid so she turned it down. She did not want to leave her comfort zone. Which, come to think of it, makes me wonder whether Vik might be able to shed some additional light on these other matters, because I really don't know that much about it.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I seem to vaguely remember having studied Plato's book during college, in Dr. Baldwin's philosophy class. Plato's book is said to be a foundation of western civilization and philosophy, although clearly the man was a mysogynist, a hater of women. Clearly centuries of improvements would be necessary, but at least Plato was a starting point for the brainiac philosophers.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I vaguely remember that when my friend left I was very lonely, because I had no fun person to play games with, Yahtzee and Clue and Authors, etc. so I wrote a poem about that, but my sister found the poem and put a completely different twist on that not originally intended by me, which is another reason why I stopped trying to write poetry, one less thing for you to use against me.