Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to remind you that there is no Helen at this address? They often refer to Helen D. Calkins who lived in India as a child, the daughter of Methodist missionaries, but we are not related to them and never met them and don't know one thing about them. Those people are all dead and gone now so we have no idea where these imposters came from. We here disavow any connection to the Creepy Crawleys of Michigan. I did have a Creepy Crawley toy set as a child but that was a whole different story.