Which Reminds Me

When I was living in California, I received a telephone call from Alana Haze, who called to confess to me her sins, which, of course you know that Jesus forgives you but you really should have known better than to do that, I may pity you but no I can't quite pretend to understand what were you thinking, and also she called to ask me about Loren and don't I like him? No, not really. He really annoys me, the way he prattles on so about the wonders of Jimmy. These simple-minded peasants such as Alana will take that stuff way too seriously if you promote that from the pulpit. These TV people may rise or fall based on their own merits, but we really should not be basing our Christian faith on just the escapades of Jimmy, not that we knew the half of it at that time. I was just sounding a note of caution because I remembered years earlier having seen him on TV foaming at the mouth, huffing and puffing in a strange trance. My mother, seeing that, remarked that he has a problem. Not that she knew what exactly that problem was. It wasn't even what he said specifically, something about mothers tell your daughters not to wear shorts, which may or may not be good advice depending, so much as the way he was saying it. So I was just sounding a note of caution about how Alana and these other simple-minded peasants should not be basing all their faith on just whatever Jimmy says. Or Johnny for that matter. These days I can't quite remember who Johnny was anymore.