Which Reminds Me

If there is no forgiveness for me, only condemnation forever and ever, then why do you pretend to preach forgiveness of sins? Is Christianity only a matter of making yourselves feel better than others for not having yourself sinned quite as badly as another? You have expected the worst from me, even worse then I could have imagined myself, and cursed me so harshly, and so at times I have despaired of anything better and succumbed to the temptation to accommodate your ill-will expressed towards me in the temptations that you pushed under my nose. Do you not want me to succeed? Do you really want me to fail so miserably? You really don't care what happens to me, do you? I am a private person so my forgiveness from Jesus is unconditional. But of society's approval I have no pretensions to aspire, nor did I ever have much. People are generally mean and nasty and selfish. An unruly mob is easily turned of its opinion to one direction or another. There is no virtue in being loved by the masses who will just as easily hate you the next for no offense whatsoever. Society is corrupt. Max is just as much a lying thief as anyone for to have one's reputation stolen is to be robbed of something valuable. So there is no remedy for me. I will just die without accomplishing much in this life because, anyway, my failure was highly anticipated.