Forgiveness, Powerlessness

Yes, it is not like I have not forgiven these people who have utterly and completely destroyed my life and any hope of my future happiness. Even though I do forgive their rotten, hateful attitude towards me, I am powerless to do anything about it. I am completely trampled underfoot by all of these horrid people and there is absolutely nothing, not a single thing, nada, that I can do about it. Whoever is in charge up there at the top has unleashed all of these horrible people to mistreat and abuse me behind my back of course, not that I do not know what they are up to sort of, I can take a hint, and I am completely powerless to defend myself in any way. Eventually they are coming to take me away, ha ha, they are coming to take me away, ha ha ha ha... So anyway, I can take a hint, they want to put me away for good in a sanatorium or looney bin and, if nothing else, a nunnery, because basically they don't like me. I always knew it and recorded this fact in my diary more than once so it is no secret that God cannot do anything for me. God must hate me so much, that is all that I can figure, because there is no love. Love is like dew on lilacs at dawn, the sun appears and the dew fades away. Wow! I am getting so negative I almost sound like dreary Robin, may she disappear into the mists of time never to be heard from again. I feel sorry for Robin and I forgive her for being so dreary but it is too depressing to have people like this in my life. They make me so depressed that I just want to die.