Which Reminds Me

I wonder why all these rumors saying that my mother is going to make me rich and give me all kinds of money? How ridiculous. Whichever cousins are spouting that kind of misinformation are apparently not related to me or they would know better than that. My mother is not that wealthy. Helen D. Calkins' mother was quite wealthy in a German kind of way so Helen, being an only child, probably had enough to live comfortably though single and was doing well enough financially to travel and cruise to England and meet C.S. Lewis with whom she corresponded about her never-published book. Just because I once or twice mentioned the thought of writing a book, that did not mean that India would have anything to say about it. Anyway, our family is not in that kind of league. Not even close. It really hurts to have people, these quasi-relatives, imagining me as wealthy and sticking me with all kinds of bills that I am not prepared to pay, all kinds of imaginary scenarios from novels that I never bothered to read it would seem, when actually I am being dissed by these filthy rich people and so I am getting hit from both sides. How utterly rude and inconsiderate, not to mention selfish and greedy, these people are. I am not rich so there is no reason for them to imagine that I would ever be set up for anything but further embarrassment and humiliation. Also, I am neither minister nor minister's wife so I am not required to concern myself with people's pathetically stupid imaginations. Susie is a person who knows everybody by name and knows everybody's business but I really am not Susie and I really don't care that much about everybody, especially not now. Somebody stole my life and now I think somebody should pay for all this nonsense because it really has nothing to do with me. I did not apply for all this Masonic stupidity so I should not have to pay for that.