Which Reminds Me

Someone is harping on the point that my great-grandparents' early paperwork designates them as "Christian workers," not really "missionaries." Ok, so I suppose that some smart alecky person is perhaps arguing that missionaries are not really Christian workers, or something like that. That is a matter of semantics, but not an important point to spend so much energy arguing about when obviously all Christians are under command of the Great Commission even if many choose to ignore it at their own risk.

Which Reminds Me

Speaking of the airport, oh, I forgot. Yes, I do have vegetable and mineral substances in my carry-on bag, but nothing illegal in that. Obviously you are not going to arrest me for carrying the equivalent of tea bags and also a pretty rock. So you were just scaring me for a minute, singling me out to search my bags, unnecessarily so. So?

And then on the connecting flight home there suddenly appeared that dreary Swedish lady who is always so mean to me and treats me like garbage.

Daniel and David get a special deal because their mother is Swedish but I am not included in that Swedish deal making Pentecostalism their exclusive domain, but maybe these Swedish cooks didn't get the memo.

Which Reminds Me

There is a question of when my great-grandparents were in China. They were commissioned as Christian workers in 1910 but when did they actually go to China? What was the travel timeline? The death of their infant son Philip Barth is recorded as 1911 and his grave's location in Los Angeles seems to suggest that they did not actually travel to China until later. Was the recorded departure of 1914 their first voyage to China? So these are some questions whose answers were not clear.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, you are expecting me to say something explaining how Kelly Misaka never gets any respect from us because she is really not a Christian. Kelly Misaka is an idolatrous ancestor-worshipping pagan Japanese who thinks that building her Japanese cultural site on the grounds of Azusa Street somehow provides her with a magical amulet that gives her magical powers over other people groups and countries and especially over Christians. Of course we all know that is totally bogus and that Kelly is a fraud and a sham. Shame on Japan for trying to pull off such a wicked stunt. Did Kelly not learn anything from WWII? What does anyone remember of Kelly from college beyond the antics of a clueless bimbo cheerleader? Yes, nothing comes to mind. I always just thought cheerleaders were sort of dumb. Why else would they want to do that? Ok, so here is the commentary you were asking for. Of course, nobody is going to actually say this because we are Christians and we just don't go ordinarily go around trashing people for no reason in that Japanese way of Kelly's, but if Kelly wants to reenact WWII, well, whatever. I don't want to do that but somebody probably should at least shut Kelly's stupid mouth.

As if I even know anything about Kelly or ever said anything about her behind her back. I actually have no idea of Kelly being a Christian or not. But someone is expecting me to say this even though I had not given much thought to Kelly's existence. I really couldn't care less about the existence of Kelly. Lots of people who attend Christian colleges don't really know what it means to be a Christian, even though that book, "Know Why You Believe," was required reading for most of us. I am just saying. Kelly who?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, not to be mean or anything, but we are really not connected to COGIC. Our great-grandparents left Azusa behind after 1908 and by 1910 they had gone over to the Upper Room Mission from which they were sent to China as Christian workers and missionaries. I was not born at the time so obviously I cannot explain why it is that they left Azusa Street and went over with the Upper Room people. I only know what is read in the history books. Notwithstanding the misinformation of Daniel, there is paperwork showing that this is how it went. Not to detract from the crucial place in history of Azusa Street but anyway we are pilgrims and travelers in this life. Azusa was one stopping place but then they left there and went to the Upper Room Mission and from there to China and so on. We can't really pretend that we stayed at Azusa Street forever. The Azusa Street Mission was torn down and a Japanese cultural center built on the site, so obviously there is not much reason to go there now, especially as we are not interested in Japanese culture. Japan is only one of how many countries in the world? And the Great Commission tells us to go to all the world, not excepting Japan but also not exclusively Japan. Anyway, nothing of the original Azusa Street Mission remains but a wall with some graffiti painted to commemorate the ancient revival of faded memory.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, not to be mean or anything, but we are really not connected to COGIC. Our great-grandparents left Azusa behind after 1908 and by 1910 they had gone over to the Upper Room Mission from which they were sent to China as Christian workers and missionaries. I was not born at the time so obviously I cannot explain why it is that they left Azusa Street and went over with the Upper Room people. I only know what is read in the history books. Notwithstanding the misinformation of Daniel, there is paperwork showing that this is how it went. Not to detract from the crucial place in history of Azusa Street but anyway we are pilgrims and travelers in this life. Azusa was one stopping place but then they left there and went to the Upper Room Mission and from there to China and so on. We can't really pretend that we stayed at Azusa Street forever. The Azusa Street Mission was torn down and a Japanese cultural center built on the site, so obviously there is not much reason to go there now, especially as we are not interested in Japanese culture. Nothing of the original mission remains but a wall with some graffiti painted to commemorate the ancient revival of dimming memory.

Which Reminds Me

Some topics are just not safe for public discussion. Such as, for example, who was the original leaker of the diaries? All I can say for sure is that it wasn't me. I only got access to them quite recently. Before passing them on to the next person I transcribed everything but I did not always have this storehouse of information at my fingertips. You could trace backwards from Chris to see who else had access to them but what he might have done with them before me I really have no idea. I could point fingers at many other third and fourth cousins whom I may suspect of colluding with the enemy but I really can't prove anything. I just know that it wasn't me.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to vaguely remember hearing that Daniel, my third cousin twice removed, sold himself a slave to the COGIC of Los Angeles. Ok, so that's nice, but the rest of us are really not included in that bargain. It is hard for us to even remember anything about them. We did hear their names mentioned occasionally but why these people are so impressed with the pronouncements of Daniel is hard for us to understand. It is not like he was ever really my friend, just one of those people I am related to. I do remember seeing him a handful of times at family funerals. Beyond that I really don't know much about him or remember anything specific to tell you about them. For more information I can only refer you to great-grandmother's diaries, where copious notes are provided of her many visits to Daniel's family home. There are many references there to his mother and father and his brothers and sisters and all of their families. Great-grandmother obviously enjoyed her visits with them, which occurred quite frequently. I really have nothing to add to that.

Which Reminds Me

Yeah, why do I have to be the enemy, the one to beat, the one to mock and spit at so that they can improve their self-esteem by comparing themselves to me? It sort of makes my life not worth living as nobody even cares what happens to me anyway.

Which Reminds Me

When I was at Evangel I remember some people were making fun of the peculiar way that the TV evangelist Ernest Angeley speaks. However, I don't remember the name of the guy who was doing that. Of course if I were to imitate that I would just get myself into big trouble. Odd how other people go around mocking and laughing at religious things while I would just be in trouble if I did the same. During that Monty Python movie I don't remember much but I do remember that Cori laughed hysterically when a nearly naked man was depicted running near the scene of the crucifixion. It didn't seem funny to me but then I closed my eyes and covered my ears after that so I don't remember part of the movie.

Which Reminds Me

Why is it that other people make colossal mistakes all the time and nobody says anything, while if I make any mistake it's always like a national disaster? Does make you wonder. I mean, didn't my college roommate drag me to see that horrible Monty Python movie about the life of Christ that I never would have thought of if she hadn't wanted to go see it? Wasn't it Cori who brought a television set to college so that she would not have to miss watching those horribly crude and vulgar television shows, Saturday Night Live, the Benny Hill Show and Monty Python. I never would have thought of that stuff if it weren't for her. And was that funny? I really don't remember that stuff being funny, what little I saw of it. I don't need to be watching her garbage television comedies. So I said to Cori that I would not be hanging out with her wicked evil friends any longer. Cori and her pack of wicked friends were such an evil influence on me. You would think that the Nippers would apologize to me for inflicting on me their trashy wicked daughter who was being such an evil influence on me. Makes it hard to witness to such a wicked evil person as Cori when her own parents are the district officials who sort of higher level than my own parents. It's more like I end up getting influenced for evil by them rather than the other way around because I don't have the political pull of wicked Cori. So if you point is to be careful about the company I keep, yes, that is so true. I should have known better than to room with horrid Cori.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there really ought to be a nice and polite way to tell the Hammonds that we really don't remember them. Their names appear frequently in great-grandmother's diary but almost all of those people are gone now. We wish them well in their future endeavors. However, we really don't have much to contribute to their "Voice of China" program other than maybe some old photographs of their grandparents. We really don't know much about that. We are not saying that we would not contribute to their ministry someday if we had some nickels and dimes to spare, which we don't at this time, but beyond that we really have not much interest in connecting to Oklahoma, which is where they relocated to. Ok, so that's nice. Fine.

Which Reminds Me

My great-grandparents spent some time in China as missionaries there mostly in the 1910s and early 1920s. She doesn't say very much about that on the tape, just says that while her husband was busy operating a mission there and preaching the gospel she was mostly busy having babies. In addition to the seven children that lived there were two babies that didn't live, Philip and Anne. Then they returned to the U.S. On the taped interview of her, she says that there comes a point when you just can't "keep going." Some busybodies may want to load that point with a lot of theological meanings that perhaps were not intended by her. Ok, so, yes, in everyone's life there are seasons. We are strangers and pilgrims in this life, as the New Testament says. So they were called to China for a time and then later they were called to go somewhere else and then eventually they retired near their children in Pasadena, California, and then eventually they were called to go home to be with the Lord in heaven as we would imagine. Fine. With seven children it is not so easy to be a missionary. Nowadays the missions department has rules about that but in the old times there weren't so many rules. But anyway to each there is a Great Commission calling of some sort. How that works out in real life may not necessarily be manifest in a career sort of way. Sometimes it is just too personal to discuss with persons who don't really understand anyway. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, since when does anyone take seriously the idiotic jibber-jabber of the Cederbloms? Everyone knows that they are merely Swedish tellers of tall tales. With the straightest of faces they will spin the most ridiculous yarns, expecting that all of the girls are so gullible as to be taken by that nonsense. I for one already know from experience to be on guard against the Cederbloms. Just being Swedish will not make you invincible, never mind what the tale-bearers might be saying. If you are  some former girlfriend of the Cederbloms and you are living your life based on what they said then you are clearly off the wall. You deserve to be just as much disregarded as they are by the rest of us. You also cannot be taken seriously.

Which Reminds Me

When I was in college I remember that some guys thought it was funny to ask girls such as me trick questions that could not be answered rightly one way or another. Neither yes nor no would be the right answer so it was a bit annoying to be asked such inexplicable questions. I could not begin to explain what they were talking about, much less answer the question without rewriting their brain patterns and I had no time or patience for explaining to complete strangers complex matters that are really none of their business. For example, the Cederblom boys often asked weird questions that were completely off the wall, often with an angrily confrontational tone that seemed out of place coming from such a completely ignorant person with no intelligible speech patterns. Also, I remember once having a conversation with Kathy's boyfriend, Ken MightBeJapanesey in which he asked me some weird question. I might have said yes or no, one or the other, just to cut the conversation short, because I really did not want to be bothered with having to explain the facts of life to such a completely ignorant person, and then he laughed as if he had trapped me on some point, I am not sure which one, when actually I just did not want to be bothered with these obvious points that everyone already knows anyway. Just because some clueless person doesn't understand something, that does not mean that I am somehow under any obligation to explain it to him.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, someone is begging the question. Since when do we always say what we really mean? And what about all those words we didn't really mean when we were angry and upset about something? And anyway, who is more guilty of murder, the sister who threatened to kill her sister but never did or the one who did kill her sister without actually saying so, at least not in those words. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I drank the poison. What was I thinking? Weird how all of these secret off-campus sippers such as Cori and her friends seem to suffer no ill consequences and even enjoy high honors. They shove a cooler in my hand and command me to taste. I did touch my tongue to that and said it tasted like vinegar so I did not drink then. If I did that again secretly I would just be another one of them, a nothing, just a district salt that has lost its flavor. And if I did the same publicly probably all kinds of wrath would fall down on my head, doubtless. But at least I could not be accused of being one of them, a secret sipper.  Then possibly that would demonstrate to the secret sippers the folly of their ways? Umm, not really. And besides I would have to commit suicide to prove this point. So I wasn't being very logical. And besides it really wasn't worth it. It was only that one time but anyway death is not reversible by human powers. We are dust.

Which Reminds Me

Rodger Gasket made some disparaging remarks about Kathy's behavior in relation to her boyfriend Ken, who had been seen making out heavily somewhere on campus, and suggested that if I was Kathy's roommate I must be that way, too. I replied by saying something about how I really can't control what these roommates do when their out of the room. I don't really know these people very well.

Which Reminds Me

I am only vaguely aware of the existence of Sergio Rivera, who is married to Kathy Murray who was my roommate my senior year. But they weren't dating at that time. She was dating Ken Yamamoto or MiteBeJapanesey from Hawaii at the time that I knew her. How she later got married to Sergio Rivera I have no idea nor do I care to learn more about that. I really don't care that much. Lots of people got married after college. So?

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I was never interested in joining the military. I suppose that it would be a nice free ride, all your education paid for by the government and many other benefits, for those who choose to go that route but I was never interested in doing that with my life. Ours was never a military family so no one here is required to go that route but if you want to do that no one is going to tell you that you cannot do that. Like I said, I don't want to do that but I do have some cousins who did go military.

Which Reminds Me

I have a hard time understanding why some people are imagining that I was expecting to inherit some large amount of money from somebody's will. That is just so false. Wrong. The only will that I might be mentioned in would be that of my own parents and I never had any high expectations from that. Whatever my parents might leave behind, split half-and-half with my sister, will certainly not be enough to even live on. I might have to live in a cardboard box under a bridge after my parents die because unless I can work, which is hard to do while trying to deflect all of these incoming bombs, I just won't have enough to live on. My parents are not exactly wealthy to speak of.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that reunion of 1998 during which we all met at Pam's house. We all sat around listening to mostly Linda chattering about her work in the obstetrics department of Holy Cross Hospital and telling her usual horror stories about nursing work, as if we were all at some nurses' conference and would enjoy sharing that, including that same story that she had already told in the old days about the baby that was born without a brain. It lived a few days longer than expected because of its strong sucking reflex but it did die a few weeks or months after birth. Hmmm, who would that have been? Well, I am not one to go around parroting Linda's mindless chatter but plenty of other people were present to do that, including Craig and Vic and Rosanne and Pam and maybe John and Michelle. Linda was also saying that Angie's family is very concerned about her dating a non-Christian man there in the Bay Area where she was living. I think she was already working on the Romanian orphanage thing by then although her mother was dying or had recently died and I don't remember what else Linda might have said about that. Anyway, I doubt there will be another reunion like that. Enough said.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I don't have any Greeks in my family that I should run around looking for Miss Pilarinos from 8th grade. I don't know anything about those people so obviously I can't have them running my life behind my back. They are fired.

Which Reminds Me

I did overhear someone talking about Angie, the founder of a Romanian orphanage, maybe it was Ophelia or some of the Italians such as Michelle and Linda Crawley, saying that Angie was seen at Florida District Council all made up to look like a glamorous movie star and being introduced to the money by the Hoskins. Someone, either Ophelia or an Italian such as Linda, was making points about how does Angie get the money without the man since she obviously she lost her bid to marry David Hoskins and yet is still seen hanging onto his family as if longing to share in the wealth. Yes, well, since I have yet to hear the actual story from Angie or the Hoskins I get sort of annoyed at all of these obscure little hints from such a dreary Nurse Ratchet as Linda Crawley. It's not like Linda or Michelle or whoever it was would know beans about fundraising and ministry and that sort of thing. Not that I would even want to do that either but anyway I am just saying that they are just regular working people whose sarcastic tone is colored by jealousies and an abiding hatred of all missionary kids. I, too, am a missionary kid but really don't know know where Angie would want to do that either or why she would put such trust in that sarcastic Linda Crawley, as if she were some kind of friend behind her back.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, in case you forgot, Grandpa Calkins' special recipe for carrot cake with cream cheese frosting was delicious. Everyone loved it. He started making it all the time because he got so many compliments on that. He started helping with the housework after Grandma Calkins got angina and couldn't do so much. My mother still has that recipe and bakes it once in a while. Ok, so maybe Grandpa Calkins wasn't so picky about things. He once said that he likes fruitcake so everyone gives him their unwanted fruitcakes. Ha ha ha! Still, with carrot cake so easy to bake at home, we don't feel much urgency to travel all the way to Missouri just to taste somebody else's recipe for high-falutin' gourmet fancy schmancy carrot cake that is probably too expensive anyway. Even if we lived around the corner we really don't frequent those really expensive places. McDonald's is a bargain even if isn't so healthy and anyway it is hard to enjoy the food so much when you realize that you are eating twenty dollar bills.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward for us, a Pentecostal family, to have these traitorous back-stabbing Hunt cousins interfering with what is really nothing wrong. The Hunts just don't understand and probably never will. I should not have to feel like an enemy of myself in my own House when actually we are all branches off the Pentecostal tree even if the clueless empty-headed Hunts don't have a clue about that.

Which Reminds

Yes, I am vaguely aware that my grandparents got a special deal on oil well money that they probably didn't deserve given what little I know. That was nice that my grandparents were financially secure in their retirement because of that. However, I wasn't even aware of that most of my lifetime. Only recently do I start to piece some of that together in my mind. I imagine that whole deal may need to be dismantled somehow. However, I have no money and no paperwork to even begin to think about that. Meanwhile, those whiners have had free reign to wreak havoc on my life in all kinds of nasty ways. For that reason I don't think they deserve any consideration given their rotten attitudes. It's not like I will be inviting them over for dinner so they could walk away with the silverware. However, that is not to say that I want the same deal that my grandmother had. I haven't had the chance to be aware of that deal's existence, much less to figure out what needs to be done about that, so I don't appreciate their snipering activities all at my expense.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I noticed the recurring theme of birds. And "To Kill A Mockingbird" is another book that we read in high school. I am not sure what that has to do with us as we are not from Georgia and only know what we read in the book. Coincidentally, my great-grandparents had a missionary colleague named Clinton Finch but I don't suppose there would be any connection there to Atticus Finch, only a fictional character based loosely on the stories of author Harper Lee's own father, Amasa Coleman Lee. But besides that book was not published until 1960.

Which Reminds Me

I suddenly remember that "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" is one of the books that was required reading in high school English class with Miss Marken. Who would want to read such a dreary and depressing book if not for homework assignments? We do have a cuckoo clock here but that's not to the point. In the book there was a mental patient and Nurse Ratchet locked in hostile conflict. Who do you suppose would win that contest? All the authority is vested in Nurse Ratchet. Just strangling Nurse Ratchet will not solve that problem. Nurse Ratchet takes pride in riding roughshod over all of the mental cases under her care, such as McMurphy. And if you kill Nurse Ratchet, they will not be reluctant to lobotomize you. The mental switches will all be flipped the other way and you will have a hard time remembering your name and address, and they will think it fun to watch you stumbling around in the dark. So that is something to ramble on about I suppose. A depressing thought for sure but I didn't write this book.

Which Reminds Me

I got sick and tired of this arrogant Cori witch yelling and screaming me down every time I make some point, however small, just because, I don't know, it's not like I was saying something wrong, it was just that she always has to be right no matter what and does not tolerate any small degree of disagreement or counterpoint. It's just useless to argue with these chatterbox people. I just have to let them talk and not say anything because if I do say anything I will be sorry later. I have learned that by difficult experience.

Which Reminds Me

Perhaps someday I will go shopping at that local arts and crafts store or buy a soda at Green's Wall, but, anyway, hobbies are not full-time jobs and they don't pay very well. And soda has too much fructose to be healthy so I wouldn't put too much weight on those minor pitstops.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I get it. Is my name Mary that I should be spared the public humiliation of a divorce? Ha ha ha! As if I even know anything about Joseph, or my Dad's Uncle Joe for that matter. Really.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, who wants to live the rest of their life bullied and mocked by these snarky district people? Of for that matter the management of the Greens' Wall? Cori always was so horrid and worthless as a roommate. I can't live like that so why did I even start with that? Thus, I quit.

Which Reminds Me

It is rather misleading for Cori to go around saying that she fired me when actually, for one thing, I was never an employee of Del Taco that I should be expected to accept her barking orders at me that way, as if she were somehow my work supervisor. Ha ha ha! Then myself, rather than accept that type of domineering behavior from her, I quit. She, faced with my refusal to obey her barking orders, started screaming that I was fired and that she wanted me out of her room. Fine. I don't really care if I never see her and her horrid family ever again in this lifetime. Like I said, maybe when we all get to heaven we will have been perfected enough to get along but until then I can't be bothered with all of their mental problems. They were really nothing, just district uppity-ups or military trash or Japanese riff-raff or something.

Which Reminds Me

If you were in my position, wouldn't you think that it would be nice if I could find some way out of this miserable trap? Wouldn't you think that it might be nice if I could somehow work my way off this hook that I seem to be dangling on? There is just nothing that I can do right in certain people's eyes so there is no reason for me to even try to appease their never-ending wrath other than to commit suicide which I am not prepared to do at this time. Sorry. Should I apologize for not committing suicide? I just don't understand your ridiculous questions.

Which Reminds Me

Speaking of Greek, I do remember Miss Lilian Pilarinos who was a schoolteacher at the MK school for a couple of years. If she is still alive she would probably still be living in New Orleans area. She was never really my teacher, however. During 7th grade we were on furlough in the U.S. During 8th grade my teacher was Mrs. Grace Richardson, who was teaching the older children of 5-8th grades that year while in the other schoolroom grades 1-4 were taught by Miss Pilarinos. I don't remember if she was still there in 9th grade but by then I was sent to the American high school so I really don't know what else happened that year. I only appeared at a handful of school events and parties so I would agree that those people really don't know me that well. They probably don't remember very much about me. They probably remember mostly my sister who was there. One thing I do remember, however, was that Miss Pilarinos was overheard to loudly complain that she was feeling like a spare tire as a single schoolteacher working amongst a bunch of missionary couples. Maybe I did overhear that. Maybe I did mention that to someone. I don't remember. What did I put in all of those letters I wrote to Susie? I don't remember. Maybe she could mail them back to me so I could refresh my memory. Yes, well, anyway, so that's just how it is for single women missionaries on the field, sort of miserable, not really so exciting as she might have imagined. It's just work work work, but come to think of it that's life. It's just all about the work.

Which Reminds Me

By the Bakers it is fairly obvious that I was not referring to the Baker sisters of New York. Only the other day I was noticing that the famed pianist Dino is now operating a bakery in Branson, Missouri. But I don't know anything about them either to be able to think of any questions to ask. I did hear him performing at a church once and he was excellent but that was a long time ago. I don't really have any plans to go there any time soon that I should think of buying a ticket at this time.

Which Reminds Me

I think that if you are so obsessed with subject of nudity you might consider relocating to some isolated place such as Borneo where you may cavort in the wilds among one of the most unrestrictive cannibal societies of the earth. Many persons learned the facts of life from the pages of National Geographic, which has documented the antics of these primitive tribes hidden in the steamy jungles. In fact, our MK school had a fairly extensive collection of old copies of National Geographic for us to mainly look at the pictures. 

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is odd, all this yapping about Jessica. I don't think I even know any person named Jessica. My sister's family dog is named Jessica but that is a dog, some type of Schnauzer. I cannot imagine why that name should be thrown around so cavalierly, as if I were somehow acquainted with the tawdry affairs of the Bakers. I never sent any application to North Carolina so they should not be calling me from there for any reason. Whatever. Time to forget about those silly TV people. No, I never heard of any church secretary named Jessica. I have heard of a church secretary named Susie but she married her boss which is just as well so she can talk to someone else now. I don't want to hear about that. I read enough in the magazines to know that I don't want to see more. Whatever.

Which Reminds Me

Long Beach has a lot of nerve accusing me of anything when they produced that trashy vulgar foul-mothed Cori who is nothing to be so proud of. Nobody wants to hear from anyway. I am glad that she is gone because I am really not interested in arguing with them. It does boggle the mind how such uppity-up missionaries to Japan could produce such a worthless trash heap as Cori Nipper.

Which Reminds Me

Who can count the freckle points of me? I have no idea how many that might be nor do I care to discuss this point with you.

Which Reminds Me

I do not remember but I think I did not go to the beach with Cori and her boys. Monroe had said something about watching my freckles explode but I don't particularly find that type of humor funny. Ok, so melatonin tended to explode in pin points all over my skin when exposed to the sun. Whatever. My points are none your business, especially if you are some Delta Dawn monstrosity of ditzy Dauna's stupid motormouth variety. I don't want to hear from you either. Goodbye.

Which Reminds Me

Did I ever think to mention that never in my life did I ever have any conversation with Michael O'Farell, much less his chatterbox cousin Heidi? Thus, I could not even begin to explain Michael's strange verbal outbursts. Doesn't he know better than to be teasing those nasty people? They don't really understand English that well, much less English humor and the complex spirit of it, and much less so when anything is directed at them. Besides, their own Spanish humor is pathetically crude and vulgar so they might not appreciate that. You should not be surprised to see them behaving more like black magic witches because that seems to be the only thing they know.

Which Reminds Me

One night late in the evening during college in the dorms someone came and said that some guys were planning to come and "get" me, whatever that meant, whatever their names were. I had heard stories of dorm raids, very messy stuff, so some of us went downstairs and hid somewhere until the time of threat had passed, then returned to our rooms to sleep. So there is nothing eventful to report on that non-existent event.

Which Reminds Me

I do seem to remember that my parents were involved in some prank during their college years but I really don't remember the specifics of that. Something about someone being very irritated when told that the chairs just got up and walked away. That doesn't sound quite right but that is the only explanation that I ever overheard. Sorry can't help with that but you can't get blood out of a turnip.

Which Reminds Me

Makes you wonder why Sharon Noble is so concerned about having pupils in her I's. We don't all need to be ophthalmologists to know that we all have pupils in our eyes. It is just the way we were made. It is the iris that gets controversial. I remember saying to someone that I think that persons with dark eyes do have irises, that their eyes are just so dark that we can't see them and they may look like their eyes are just one big black pupil, but that is just an optical illusion. However, I am pretty sure that I wasn't talking to Sharon at the time. Interesting how these points get distributed liberally around the population. Anyway, if we can't see the whites of your eyeballs then we would be asking you what planet you are from because we all have whites in our eyes. But that is not what we were talking about.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, nothing is ever going to change without money. All of the tea in China will not accomplish a single thing at this rate. I am just tired of this obnoxious whining with no bucks to back up the your wild claims. There is just nothing else to say.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I did notice the prompters but I do not see why I should be the one to stick my neck out there and comment on the specter of some snarky prep school brat running for president. I think you should find someone else to elaborate on that point. I would like to leave that line for someone more knowledgeable of that subject of which I know nothing.

Which Reminds Me

It is true that many American parents tell their children that they can do anything when they grow up, even run for president. That is because we don't want to put too many limitations on our children's imaginations, dreams, ambitions for their future life. We want them to be free and unencumbered by our own prejudices and problems. We want to see them go far beyond what we were able to accomplish in our short lifetimes. Of course, life happens and we all find our places. Life is short. Few are the choices we are given, as the song says. And while we know that we are loved whatever we may do, we only know that we do not want to run for president or anything close to that. What a nightmare. You have to be so perfect all of the time and never make any mistakes of any kind and say the right thing on every occasion. You have to sell your soul to the "people" and be thrown around by every Tom Dick and Harry crank that comes along. Parties are so meaningless nowadays. Blah blah blah. I started early with making mistakes plus I was just never in the right place at the right time for that, not to mention that I am also a girl, so it would be ridiculous for me to imagine getting involved in electoral politics of any kind, much less anything presidential. We obviously know that only a very few have the ambition and calling to be president of the nation. Even the thought of college president sounds so lofty and unreal. So really, it should be no surprise that I would not be rushing to get involved in politics of any kind. That was never what I meant by that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I might have expressed a suspicion that some of my classmates might have been smoking pot but it's not like I ever had any specific evidence of that. It was just a general impression of their appearance being so wild that, well, maybe they were that wild. I really don't know anything about that but time shows that they really were very unfriendly people even if I was wrong about the pot charge. I really never accused anyone of that but it was a general impression that maybe they were that wild.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and wasn't it I who asked a couple of innocuous questions to Ms. Luna and got back some shocking answers that I wasn't expecting? I didn't understand a Spanish word I heard in ninth grade and was shocked at the answer. Maybe that is why I asked a second question, because I just couldn't believe that people would be tossing off such words as if nothing. I had never heard those words used at church or anywhere else so they might have been speaking Hungarian for all I could tell. Ok, so maybe I should have just kept silent and looked it up in the dictionary, which I did later for some other words. I do regret asking any question at all because everything always gets turned against me later. I should know better than to open my mouth ever. And one would think that these people would thank me for at least thereafter respecting their privacy and not saying anything else about that to anyone or doing anything else with that. It's not like I ever went around spreading stories about them or talked about that. Some people just have no conscience and don't care what they say so why should I care or give a second thought to that. I also might have misunderstood some other words I read in books but I doubt that I was the only person with that problem. Interesting how they can say whatever they want behind my back with no repercussions. Anyway, it's not like I owe a thin dime to the greedy Luna family so I do hope that they will not be hanging around later waiting for handouts that they are never going to get from me. That was nothing. If hindsight were foresight. In hindsight I think that if someone asked me questions about certain words I would probably just tell them to look it up in the dictionary rather than embarrass myself with the answer, but on other hand there is nothing wrong with answering questions of fact. I think this lengthy guilt trip has been excessively ridiculous and I want it to stop now.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, what is land that thou art mindful of it? The land has been there for thousands of years and the land will doubtless continue to be there for another however many thousands of years. But we are people. We are as grass. We only have a short time to steward our portion of it, however small and tenuous, and then we are gone and we are remembered no more by the living. Who can say what will happen to the land later after we are gone? Will worrying and fretting accomplish anything in regards to the land? When the people of Melodyland disappeared the theater/church building was plowed under and a shopping center now occupies a space that once seemed so important in Anaheim, Calif. All that money raised and now Melodyland is gone, vanished, bulldozed and repaved. Melodyland is just another shopping center, nothing more. There is nothing to remind us of what once was a church that I only visited once or twice anyway, of people who once claimed Melodyland as their home church. So land is not really that important after all as it turns out. Time is short.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I never stole your money so have no idea why this snarky rich Rusty acquaintance might be crowing at me. How horrifying! I never really thought about Rusty as money. He is more of a liability than a potential profit in my opinion, not that I would know anything about that.

How convenient for these witches that all of my information got so scrambled and everything drip-fed back in such a way that I always look like an idiot and they always look better when we all know it is not always so. So they got the advantage of time and opportunity which was stolen from me. Ho hum!

You spend 20 years torturing me to explain how I overheard some minor tidbit of nothingness which makes me think that you are just sick and twisted in the head. So whatever. You obviously hate me immensely is all I can figure from that. Luckily for me you are obviously not God.

Which Reminds Me

I remember Rusty as an angry person. At least he was pretty much always angry with me. He was complaining that my piano wasn't good enough to qualify as his accompanist. Fine. He might have been right on that point, that I was in over my head there. Anyway, I no longer care about piano at all so complaining about my piano skills will get you nowhere. Sorry, but all of this whining about my lousy musicianship will not win you any prizes from me. I only think of Rusty as a colossal nuisance. Sorry but college is OVER and I am no longer available to be insulted and complained about behind my back. I am not interested in hearing another word about that.

Which Reminds Me

During college I do not recall myself having any positive relationship with Rusty. Mostly he just insulted me so obviously I would prefer not to be dialoguing with such an annoying person as that. Cough cough. Why cough when I could stay healthy and avoid any entanglements there? You just never make any sense to me.

Which Reminds Me

And what makes these boring worthless Iowans think they should always get their way in matters that are none of their concern. It is not so, as the Annals of American History have shown. You might be at the wrong party or too early for the real show to begin. Only time will tell. I suppose that one state is better than none but anyway I have no personal connection whatever to the state of Iowa so politics should not be affecting my life in any way. It is hard for me to understand why the Iowa would be crowing and cursing at me. I could not care less about such a dreary place as Iowa.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is hard for me to understand why our cousins are strutting around so weirdly as if they deserve special protection from something. Well, their parents always seemed sort of weird and mentally ill as I remember them, not that I really understood what all the fuss was about at the time. No one ever really explained that to me so I have no idea what to do with all of these intercepted messages about them, as if they were something important. I really don't know anything about them and I never really cared what they do. They were always traveling around, going from place to place, so a lot of times nobody knew where they were or what they were doing which partly explains why nobody really understands what their problem is and probably never will. Perhaps I shouldn't have said some things that I did say about them when I was younger and more immature than I am now and yet, on the other hand, I really don't care what they do and do not understand why the boring Butterfields should be so loudly clamoring for vengeance as if that were the Christian way to handle family relationships. Grandma Calkins has been gone for a long time now and everybody else just wants them to be quiet because they just weren't that important.

Which Reminds Me

That might have been a pathetically lame and just plain wrong effort of trying to attach the McClellan story to the Tinker tidbit from high school. There was nothing that I ever said about that, just me once confirming that I did overhear something when asked, so extensions to Scotland are just utterly ridiculous. You might as well send your sheilas are down under on that account and have no chance of getting anything else from that. You might have more luck targeting the Irish, specifically Michael O'Farrell. Oh, did he get some flack about that? I really don't remember now if that was him or someone else who said that, to tell the truth. It's not like I ever think about that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that I have yet to visit the Presidential Library at College Station. That's a city in Texas and I imagine that it may contain all you would want to know about voodoo economics and other economic and political issues of interest in the 1980s if you are so inclined there, which I am not.

Even so, I did graduate from college and I have the diploma to prove it, never mind that Michelle was never really there. Machelle may imagine that high school is the height of accomplishment but education does not stop with her big fat mouth. Education continues throughout life and later we may look back and wonder what we were thinking at the time sitting there listening to that. She tried to boss me around and publicly disinvited me to some shower for some person I never heard of thus indicating that I should not be aspiring to her social level. Even so, I never liked her attitude and really don't care if I never see her again in this lifetime. Maybe when we all get to heaven we will all be perfect then and able to stand being around each other. But all of that does make you wonder if she is related to the Bush family. She never really said that in so many words. I did vote for them as there was no other party choice but it is hard for me to remember why that was now that there is so much water under the bridge and I learned so many things later that I had not been aware of at the time.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, now I remember. You asked me if I had noticed that people were teasing Trina Tinker about her name. And I said that yes, come to think of it, I think that I did overhear something. I noticed someone riffing on that book title that refers to tinkers, tailors, soldiers and spies. Yes, I suppose that name jokes can get sort of irritating, especially when they are made on your own name. I suppose that the dictionary definition alone would be enough to get some jokesters started on the tinkers. And of course I would know all about name jokes. My name is often mistaken for candy because it sort of sounds like that which explains why I am continually subjected to all kinds of jokes about my name, about candy canes, and being striped red and white, and am I sweet, and can you eat me and so forth. Blah blah blah. No, you may not eat me. How many times do I have to explain that actually no, you may not eat me. I am not that sort of candy. So obviously I know about name jokes. I might have said something like that. I really don't remember much.