Which Reminds Me

It may seem easy for General Jerry to stand there holding a bazooka to my head, as if blowing my head off any moment now will somehow solve all the problems of the world, but this really doesn't help me in any way. General Jerry-Can doesn't have to worry about paying bills because he has lots of power and money, and plenty of time because he is retired and can do whatever he wants, while poor little me has to sit here starving to death because some big-shot military honcho wishes to use me as some pathetic lab rat on some mysteriously tortuous treadmill. This life just isn't fair.