Which Reminds Me

You have a lot of nerve bragging to me about New York. You are the ones who sent me a message about the "Importance of Being Earnest." And you also imagine that the origins of Sesame Street's Elmo have some special interest for me. If you had done your fact checking, as you should have if you deserved your top-dollar Madison Avenue salary, before dropping bombs on innocent bystanders such as myself, you would know that I am obviously not related to Earnest and also that my surname did not begin or end with him. So why are you screaming in my face on a continual basis? I am not descended from the Calkins of advertising fame, needless to say. I am descended from a poor folk branch of the Calkins family who migrated westward in the mid-19th century looking for jobs and better opportunities because the East was already built out and there was no room for us in the "In." So just because my surname comes from Hugh Calkins who landed in Connecticut in about 1640, that does not mean that I am still there now on this present day. And also, our spelling does not accommodate references to the star of "Home Alone," who is no kin to us that we ever heard of. There is no "u" in my surname spelling.  So perhaps all of this goes to show that you are the ones who need to work on your spelling.