Jan's Book

I remember almost nothing about Jan's book. I am sure that I read at least part of it but it didn't seem all that interesting to me, just the same history stuff that one probably finds pretty much everywhere anyway if one wants to look them up on Wikipedia or something like that. Those television people all look the same to me. However, I must say that it would be so funny to watch Miriam, Bob Hoskins' secretary, riffing on a book like that. She always was hysterically funny. I was never witty that way so I don't know where these people come up with all these weird things to say. If I tried to do that I would just bomb so I don't even try, not ever. And besides, I would get in too much trouble if anyone found out that I was ever talking to Miriam and even worse that I laughed. She really puts her foot in it sometimes and gets herself in deep trouble with that warped mind of hers. It would be funny to watch but the ticket would be way too expensive.

Speaking of Books

Yes, Jan has a lot of nerve demanding anything from me. We all somehow know that her attempt at writing a book was a dismal failure. Where is this book that Jan wrote? Were all the copies of Jan's book burned to avoid some dark secret from spilling out? I really don't care. It doesn't matter to me. I vaguely remember that there was a copy of Jan's book in the library at Editorial Vida. I might have skimmed through parts of it. There was something about how she really likes to shop for wigs and makeup with Tammy Faye Bakker and that is about the only thing I remember about that book. Perhaps I am not the only person in the company who had occasion to read the book. I really wouldn't know.

Basketball Court

Yes, I am really not interested in reviewing and/or discussing Dawn's encounter on the basketball court involving David and Bobby with all the little kids standing around watching them kiss. That was Dawn's stupid point. Yes, kissing is involved in courtship and one has to be willing to do that if one wants to get married and have children, obviously. This is a very obvious point that is universally true throughout all of humanity and not something that I would need Dawn to explain to me, thanks anyway. That was all I was trying to say.

Dawn is always so silly, always giggling about every little thing that comes into her mind at the moment even if it is not really that important and we are in the middle of class studying something very important in preparation for a test. It doesn't matter that we have other priorities at the moment or that we are not impressed with the half-baked joke that Dawn is giggling about after we have asked Dawn what is so funny and required an explanation for this latest spontaneous bout of giggling. In jolly Dawn's selfish mind, the entire world must come to a stop to listen to what Dawn has to say about nothing much, just obvious stuff that everyone already knows anyway. That is the problem with being in eighth grade. Even though Mrs. Richardson was right in saying that we all have to get along and so we must not complain Dawn's constant giggling lest we be viewed as cranky, yet we still I do wish that Mrs. Richardson would support me and knock Dawn a couple of notches off her high horse because it really is hard to concentrate with Dawn sitting behind us giggling about maybe a silly prank she pulled on Miss Nafsker or whatever. It's just always something but it's just not the right time or place to talk about that, save it for recess.

Orlando

I only vaguely remember seeing Tony Orlando & Dawn on television maybe once or twice, maybe in reruns if I am not only dreaming that I ever saw them on television, and that probably only after seeing them spoofed at a college talent show. I do remember reading an article in Time magazine about Tony Orlando and Dawn and their rise to fame but we did not have that show on television in El Salvador (I suppose they just can't squeeze in all that U.S. stuff when there are so many other Mexican, Venezuelan and other Latin American TV shows all competing for time in a country with only three television channels at the time). I have no clue why they would choose to spoof Tony Orlando & Dawn at a Christian college talent show. I personally am not interested in that kind of variety show where the stars are always poking each other and that is supposed to be funny but it's really not. We are supposed to laugh but they already have a laugh track anyway so it is not important to ask whether anyone gets it. Yes, humor of the 1970s was the pits, not that I would remember not having been here at the time but those 1970s always look so stupid in reruns so I probably did not miss anything important in terms of U.S. television of the 1970s.

Protestants vs. Protesters

I never was one of those protesters who spent time in jail after picketing on the street outside abortion clinics and yet I am a Protestant. I am not saying that I disagree with pro-lifers. In fact I agree but the street protest thing is not my cup of tea. Anyway, Molly was the one who talked often about her street protest picketing and other radical activities, in case Machelle forgot. I think she is very brave for doing that and for being willing to go to jail and possibly get labeled with a criminal rap sheet for life just to express her opinion on that particular subject matter. However, I personally am not that brave, I must confess. There is only so far one can go in polite society in terms of expressing one's opinion on certain matters and to go any farther would be counterproductive and invite recriminations even if one's opinion is right. At the end of the day we all have to get along even if we don't always agree on every subject matter. But perhaps civil society is not the appropriate place to discuss these matters anyway. Tools of art and war are sometimes called upon to help redirect the ship of state gone adrift. A good alternative to street protests is always better in my opinion.

The Problem With Episcopalians

As long as I am tossing out the Methodist cousins, I might as well throw out the Episcopalian cousins as well. We have read or heard in the news about how some of the Episcopalians have cut off relations with their American denominational board and are seeking to establish ties with the Anglicans of Africa. However, it is not necessary for me to explain that we are not Episcopalians and that their problems are not our problems. Some people seem to be very confused about this but I don't recall my denomination needing or requiring the services of an Anglican bishop to administer our internal affairs, thanks anyway. I am not sure how this affects my distant cousins but anyway, like I said, their problem is not my problem. We are content with whatever we read in the news about the Episcopalian thing because it is not our problem and it would cause too many problems to ask.

The Problem With Methodists

The problem with Methodists is that they think they know everything and they think that only they can represent the interests of the United States, as if any non-Methodist could not possibly understand anything and is completely worthless in terms of being a U.S. citizen or having even a shred of intelligence. It further compounds the problem for us Pentecostals that back-stabbing traitors like Wicked Witch Murlene and her screechy wicked daughter Rebecca, who defected to Methodism, go around saying nasty things about us behind our backs that are not exactly true and playing all kinds of political games that make us look like idiots.

These Methodists forget that this is not England, a country with a state religion that purports to represent British interests in the religious sphere. This is the United States of America where we are all of us free to exercise our religion as best we can, right or wrong doctrinally is immaterial, as long as we are not stomping all over the Methodists' toes. The idiotic opinions of my cousins who happen to be Methodists do not have any great importance in my view and should not be given any greater weight than my own brilliant thought patterns, it goes without saying. In the whole grand scheme of things our country's founders did not intend for these idiotic Methodist witches to be running roughshod over the rights of normal people like me.

Anyway, I was not planning to have to fight a huge battle against people who were supposed to be my friends and relatives countrypeople and were supposed to understand the plain and obvious truth staring them in the face and poised to bite off their noses to spite their faces. If everyone is going to be so nasty to me then there is absolutely no point in my continuing to bother to do anything for them or even try to benefit the glory of trashy wortheless Methodism. By that, I am not defending the obnoxious Catholics or the whiny Presbyterians either. You are all a bunch of whiny nothingness. If only it were legal for me to commit suicide. Yes, that would be the perfect solution but alas someone will have to pay for this mistreatment of me because I certainly cannot afford to do it.

Stricklands

Someone really should remind Stephen R. Cranford that his own mother's maiden name is Strickland so these bad jokes about my grandmother are just stupid. What makes the Stricklands think that we would care to press any claim on their asphalt and gravel business anyway? And what would I do with a pile of rocks? I would rather be dead than fight with the whiny Cranfords. Obviously Uncle Winfred never did me any favors but he is not the only game in town. I have other options than to depend on the Stricklands for anything. I can also say exactly the same thing about the worthless whiny Mercado clan. I never want to hear another word from Rebecca's piece of ethnic dog meat, chosen obviously to fulfill the ethnical labeling requirement and not because of the disturbed contents of his empty head given that his only information comes from the wrong side of the family as far as we are concerned. Thus Walter and Marcos can consider themselves warned to shut up because they will be running the show as far as we are concerned.

Shots

As long as I am getting my shots in, it will unfortunately be necessary to take out that wicked witch Rachel Mercado who married that boring Mexican motormouth Walter. Your willingness to marry that Mexican does not in and of itself automatically endow you with any intelligence, charm, and leadership potential. Lots of people with no leadership potential or personality are married with children. The fact of having sex or being a crackerjack housekeeper proves nothing. I might have preferred to do my part in terms of multiplying the race as per the biblical instructions but Mr. Right was non-existent so anyway at least I can take comfort in knowing that it's not just about me. Lots of people never get married and never have children. Murlene certainly did make up for the deficit by herself having nine children but that means that Rebecca only has a one-ninth share of Murlene's one-quarter share of Judy's one-seventh share so you really don't have very much to say about anything actually. Each voter only gets one vote and each mother only gets her anywhere from one to up to twenty-five shots to produce a decent well-behaved child who will grow up to be a law-abiding and productive adult citizen. That is all she gets. Beyond that she really has nothing to say to me. I should not have to explain that I was never interested in stealing her boring blob of a husband. I have better things to do than dialogue on this tediously boring and obvious point.

Bee Heeled

I am so sick and tired of this old worn-out joke. Sure, it wasn't very nice of those guys at Evangel College, whatever their names were I don't quite recall, to be making fun of poor old Mr. Angley and it was perhaps even dumber of me to maybe once unthinkingly repeat the joke sort of although I can't quite remember what I said. Looking back from an older and wiser perspective, I see that Mr. Angley has a lot of problems and it would not be very nice or productive to make fun of him. He has his place of ministry. That said, I need to remind Mr. Angley that I am NOT his dog. I do feel sorry for him given that he has a lot of problems but he also has a lot of friends, too, so basically I really don't feel all that sorry for poor old Mr. Angley. I really don't have this problem that he keeps talking about so basically that problem is not my problem and so he really has nothing to say to me. I feel sorry for those people but it's not my problem. Life is too short for me to sit around worrying about their problem. I have other things to think about other than Mr. Angley's sad and pathetic problem. Sorry but it's true and I am only saying this because someone asked, sort of, because otherwise I really would not have a clue about Mr. Angley. To tell the truth, I don't follow television closely enough to keep up to date on Mr. Angley's situation. There are just so many of these people on TV anymore that no one person could possibly keep track of them all.

Immunization

I wonder what makes these people think that we don't have immunization. We never could have gotten a passport and visa without having gotten our shots. Surely my own mother would remember who the doctor was or something about where we got our smallpox vaccination and other shots, maybe tetanus and whatever else was required at the time that we left the country. It was scary, getting my shots, but the benefit is that I cannot get that sick ever. My body just won't take the virus.

My Horrible Name

Yes, what a horrible name my parents gave me. Everyone should stop making all these pathetically bad jokes about my name, like pretending that my name was ever something like Candy Cane. Not so! My last name has always been Calkins and never Cain. Now one could make an argument about my sister's last name being Cain given her murderous attitude towards me but I never murdered anyone, obviously. Neither am I a can with a big D attached to the end of it. Or they ask me if my name was really Candace or Candice and I always have to say no, just Candi. My Dad said that if I am going to be called Candi then that should be my name. No nicknames please! These psychos really should stop inventing these stupid little puzzles to keep my mind preoccupied and distracted from what is truly important and necessary to life and liberty. I always did like jigsaw puzzles but not on their terms. They don't really have my best interests in mind so never on their terms.

Uncle Sam's Rotten Rich Kids

Yes, I so much can't stand Uncle Sam's rotten rich kids. Cori, for example, is a prime example of rotten rich kid who thinks that her money and her connections to power entitle her to behave like trash and then beat me up and throw me away like yesterday's garbage because I dared to criticize her. With Uncle Sam's rotten rich kids, it just doesn't matter what I do right. It's just all about them and whatever they want. If I don't serve their political purposes they have no sense of loyalty or caring about me. It's just all about them. If I make them feel guilty because I don't do exactly whatever they want then they can be merciless and I have no escape. That is why it is better not to aspire to even be acquainted with rich people. All they do is make one's life miserable. I just wish I had know more about this earlier.

Overheard

Ok, so maybe I do vaguely think that I overheard something about the money but it did not strike me as particularly important at the time. People acted so weird when they though I heard something but there is certainly no reason to make my entire life grind to a halt just to talk about that silly stuff, obviously, and anyway, I was at the time terrified to ask any questions because these people get so weird about everything. Better to just forget about that nonsense because it is not important anyway. So what if we happened to walk past a group of partying people on the beach walking to the campground at El Cuco for annual church youth camp in August? It was still summer and Libby and her friends were probably just having a good time before school would be starting at the beginning of September and it was that week in August when the entire country is on vacation anyway so lots of people are out vacationing. I never really thought very much about that. Maybe Sharon asked me who those people were and if I recognized any of them and I probably answered whatever questions I was asked, not that I recognize all of them, just Libby and a few others, not that I remember now anything very clearly, just some people partying and maybe drinking and smoking, I'm not sure. We Christian MKs are not supposed to do that so although they hailed us waving flashlights and tried to greet us and ask us what we were doing we didn't say very much and kept on walking because they seemed too wild for us.

Alice

Yes, before Martha was the Vida receptionist there was Alice and Alice is the one who would remember me. I heard that she later moved to Colombia to work with a ministry to street children. However, at the time that I knew Alice she was the very chatty receptionist who served as a Grand Central Station of sorts. She is the one who would remember me and she would also probably remember who it was that often loudly complained about a urinary tract infection that occasioned frequent visits to the receptionist desk which was directly around the corner from the nearest ladies' bathroom, the other one being upstairs. Well, we all had occasion to visit with Alice from time to time, obviously.

Mistake

Yes, that certainly was a big mistake, accepting Cori Nipper's invitation. Cori obviously needed other girls along to get her parents permission to use their family cabin in the woods, but I should have known better than to accept any invitation from Cori. The reality is never exactly the way it was described in the original invitation, how the three of us girls would be sleeping in one room upstairs and the guys downstairs. Things did not end up happening exactly that way and we always have to do whatever Cori wants or she cops and attitude but anyway I did not do anything wrong. I don't know about you but my conscience is clear even if some people could construe the appearance of evil and read more into that weekend than is merited. I can't speak for some other people such as Monroe and his girlfriend but at least my conscience is clear.

Stinky

Everything stinks. Everything is set up to make me lose no matter what, to make me never get what I want to matter what, to make me always look like a complete idiot no matter what. This is because I never enlisted and declined to join that Mexican Oneness cartel known as JAMAS. Obviously, JAMAS means Never in Spanish. So you are saying NEVER to me on everything. I NEVER get anything. I NEVER get what I want. I NEVER get heard. I NEVER count for anything. I NEVER get forgiven. I NEVER get the money. How shocking it is to learn that everyone belongs to this Mexican Oneness cartel. One would think that if you had any brains you would know that Libby is a Jehovah's Witness so obviously her leadership of the Oneness cartel JAMAS is part of her cult-like sick and twisted mindset of which I would be wise to take nothing because she just doesn't get it and anyway this is not something that would be worthy of debate to a real authentic Christian if there is such a thing left on the planet. One would think that these people would be embarrassed to be throwing around and flaunting their connection to this terrorist organization JAMAS as if it were something to be proud of. And whatever happened to the trinity? These triangle jokes are in very poor taste and disgusting and entirely revolting. We know what you are trying to do. You will attempt to bury the trinitarian thought in a blizzard of bad jokes, obviously. I don't remember discussing this with anyone in high school so I don't understand how they got involved in this dorm floor discussion with Sharon Baldwin on the subject, although we also did discuss this at MK school. It is always a really bad idea to confront people with an advanced theological concept like the trinity when you don't know who you are talking to anyway and perhaps it is not clear where you are coming from. First things first. We are not saying that the trinity is even necessary for salvation and eternal life in heaven or miracles or the Holy Spirit. However, there are other mysteries, the deeper things of God, that many people are just too simple-minded to grasp. Western civilization was not built on simplistic thinking, obviously. Clearly we must pick our battles and the JAMAS cause is not a battle that I personally would choose to fight about. If these people are at a lesser stage of maturity in some way then fighting is hopeless. No insult intended but we are not interested in picking a fight with you when you just don't get it. Your mind is entirely closed and you refuse to listen. It is something that you have to study out for yourself but you won't do your homework. Anyway, it is not something that I can tell you, but with such a great cloud of witnesses over centuries of Western Civilization speaking on the subject, you would be wiser if you would shut your mouth and listen.

Martha the Receptionist

I wonder what makes Wicked Witch Martha think that I was ever the receptionist? No, Martha is just the receptionist and always will be because obviously time stands still in that La-la land of the Latino Lunatics. It would be so cruel of me to suggest that Martha go back to her shabby little shanty, or gaudily gilded mansion or whatever it may be, and stop poking her nose into my personal business but sometimes these Latinas just don't know when it's time to quit. They are not going to find any gold from Fort Knox here at our house. We never did that kind of investing so obviously there is no material reward to their relentless pursuit of gringos. It's so fakey how these Latinas pretend to be nice people and pretend to be friendly when actually they hate my guts and are only using me for their own personal gain, to establish their own careers all at my expense. I hate my life. This whole system stinks as far as I am concerned and I want my own life separate from these whiny high school Latinas where the only thing they will know about me is what I tell them at the high school reunion and nothing more, just like everybody else on the planet. High school is for studying and doing your homework, not for developing a spider web of worthless connections to the Chavez government.

The System

Yes, one would think that Pam BowlingBall would be ashamed of her rotten attitude, always whining and complaining about how unfair it was that I had a job, my Selectric typewriter was red and not just a boring black or grey, etc. etc. etc.. I fail to see any reason for me to apologize for my existence or for having that job at that time. It is not like I was not qualified for the job. My typing skills are adequate thanks to Mr. Peters' typing class in high school. I can read and write and spell quite well. I was able to competently shuffle and stay up to date with the avalanche of paperwork that Carol Long dumped into my inbox on a continual basies. Carol Long was such a horrible nightmare of a boss and yet I stood my ground for almost two long, boring, tedious years until I finally came up with some excuse to get out of that miserable job working for the whiny distribution guys who only have jobs because they need an excuse to continue their missionary appointment, not because they actually know what they are doing in that position. Those distribution guys are so full of their own self-importance when actually the mission board was doing them a favor by giving them something to do. One would think that the wicked Mintles and wicked Hultgrens would have thanked me for putting up with their nonsense as long as I did. It just goes to show that these people have a completely disproportionate sense of reality, as if they mattered. Life will go on without them collecting paychecks at Editorial Vida, obviously.

Confrontation

I am surprised that everyone is expecting me to confront trashy bitch Carole Hultgren (MK-Brazil). I actually have better things to do than condescend to say hello to that wicked witch, not that I would ever say what I really think about her in a public way except the facts, obviously, because I don't really know her and couldn't care less if I never see her wicked face ever again in this lifetime. Just because she is obviously holding some grudge against me, that does not give her the right to extract a confrontation from me. I didn't do anything to her. I did hear tell some stories about her wicked deeds but it is really not my place to do or say anything about that. Things that I only thought of or read about, she actually carried out and did in a most evil and wicked way, intentionally and deliberately, so obviously there is a big gulf or chasm dividing me from Carol. Just because her brother-in-law is connected to Pat Robertson's 700 Club, that does not impress anyone who knows the truth about Carol and her pathetically lowlife drug addict husband Nathan (MK-Ecuador), now deceased, and his idiot father Harold. Yes, we all know they spent time in jail together for illegally obtaining drugs. These are facts that are out there for all to see but that says nothing about me. I don't even know those people and we never met in high school. Our paths crossed only at MK Retreat once or twice but we never talked or even said hello so you can expect nothing from me, obviously. Being an MK in Latin America is hard enough with all these native Latino peoples poised with daggers in hand waiting for us to make even the tiniest mistake so that they can have an opportunity to plunge more knives into our backs, so obviously we cannot afford to say hello or to be associated in any way with an actual trashy slut like Carol who really does take the prize for wickedness.

Dave Hultgren The Thief

The only thief I can recall would be Dave Hultgren (MK-Brazil). He stole something out of Ann Nile's purse when he was working at Editorial Vida. I wouldn't think of this except that everyone keeps bringing this back to mind. The Hultgrens should not imagine that they will run into my after church some afternoon again as I no longer live in Central Florida and have no plans to ever return there. With no missionary parents, those shamelessly whiny Scandinavian thieves have no place to get in my face and tell me anything, especially not putrid slut Carol. Any dog can pop out puppies so that proves nothing. Sorry but I had to say that about vicious bitch Carol because she asked for it.

My Sister the Thief

Yes, I vaguely remember that when we were small children visiting my grandparents in Oceanside my sister went off to play with some children down the street and liked a certain toy so much that she brought the toy home with her. When my mom found out about that she made her take the toy back because it did not belong to her. Obviously I never did anything like that. I could retell the story if you really want to know, not that I remember anything about that. I don't know why this matters so much when my sister was only maybe four or five years old and she learned her lesson. It is not like I go around shoving it in her face all the time, unlike the way I am constantly mistreated by everyone for no particular reasone except that everyone hates me, obviously. I wasn't just imagining things when I used to ramble on in paranoid fashion in my diary about how nobody likes me. It was true, obviously. I don't make this stuff up.

Kick Out the Stupid Doctor

Yes, we must remind everyone that Dr. Sanchez does not belong to my family, my church, my school, my country and his stupid rules do not apply to me. Where are his wicked daughters/sisters anyway and what do his family problems have to with me? Nothing obviously. Obviously Noel imagines and fancies that bashing me is going to somehow restore his family's lost honor and glory but that is not so. Just bashing me is not going to help with all the other books that I know nothing about and never read and all the parties that I never attended and all the people I never met and don't know anything about. Sorry but these obnoxious Baptists are such depressing people, always trying to pretend that it was our fault when actually they don't really have anything good to offer me, only some poisonous garbage, always trying to build themselves up in their own strength instead of letting the Holy Spirit work God's will in people's hearts and lives. What did the Baptists ever do for me anyway except to laden me with all these burdens that are too heavy for me to bear? Why should I bother to call them when they never call me anyway? They treat me like the enemy when actually they have not and never will make the effort to learn how to be my friend.

Too Much

Yes, that was very strange, all those people screaming and yelling at me and all because I wrote one stupid letter. OK, so it was stupid, but still, one letter does not give those people any rights to go around trashing me all over the place or in fact to say anything. I did not do anything to them. I don't know even know who they are or what their problem is. They obviously have a lot of problems but it is not something for me to worry about. That stuff is ancient history now and if those people cannot forgive and forget then they will be living forever under a curse which is not my problem. They are responsible for their own rotten attitudes, not me.

Yes, I vaguely recall someone talking, maybe it was Susie, about how pukey it was to see Roseanne Murphy Benner cuddling on Don Benner's lap and cooing and acting like a little sex bunny or something like that. I vaguely remember her saying that but it is not like I really have anything to say about them. I vaguely remember them but it has been many many years since I saw them and in the whole scheme of things they really are not much more than acquaintances to me. She was my third grade teacher who scolded me about staring out the window too much instead doing my schoolwork. Ok, so I think therefore I am. My Dad mentioned that Don Benner's first wife was Chinese. I have no clue about who she was or how that divorce went down. I don't want to know anything else about those people. You would have to ask John Bueno howhat happened. I am sure that he knows all about it. I for one am really not interested in learning about the sordid contents of John Bueno's sick mind. I have an idea that things must be really weird in there but fortunately he is no longer in the AG so he is no longer my problem. Hallelujah!

The Shocking Truth

Yes, it is very shocking to think of Rose Wilson as a lesbian dike but it came out of her own mouth and so obviously no one is going to argue with that. I for one don't want to know anything else about it. I never really liked Rose anyway. I am busy planning to get married and have a family eventually so I will have no time to spare for Rose and her sidekicks Debbie and Lynda, especially not now. Sorry but I really don't like this idea of these lesbian dikes bullying me into submission to their personal agenda. It's just not my thing. I have other priorities. Even a wedding ring on the finger does not necessarily mean very much to those people. Just look at Sharon. Just troll the Internet and see my bimbo-idiot high school classmate Heather prattling on her pseudo-theology blog. What would a beer-swilling Episcopalian party animal know about theology anyway? Nothing, obviously. On the other hand being a single woman could just mean that Mr. Right was shot and killed in Vietnam, further skewing the ratio of available men to available women. I realize that it was not fair that Pastor Webber forced the five boys into a gay lifestyle in which they are not allowed to have wives and children because of their sick brains, thus taking five more candidates out of the available gene pool. Still, forcing me to become a lesbian to satisfy the vengeful demands of the five Wicked Witch mothers for equal suffering on our part does not really make this alright. Six wrongs don't make a right. I have been wronged and slandered and I think someone should take those wicked witch mothers out behind a barn. Shoot the old dogs or plug their mouths before they do any more damage. I think they should be more than satisfied with the millions of dollars that they already have extorted from the Assemblies of God denomination when actually it was just all Pastor Webber's fault anyway. We just all trusted these wicked, child-molesting pastors way too much.

Laid Out Rose

Yes, that Rose Wilson always was such a wicked witch. If none of us can do better than those Wilson music dogs, then we are all stuck in limbo land forever because although she did have a good voice she was a horrible person to be around and even dangerous. One day in music class Rose was singing "When I am laid" from the opera "Dido and Aeneas" and smirking and making all kinds of grimaces as if this were a joke. Ok, so maybe we sort of get it and maybe we don't but whatever. And then later maybe it was Lynda who said that Debbie Tracy thought that I was making "interested" faces at Rose who was singing. That was so weird. I never realized until then how wicked Debbie Tracy actually is not to mention Lynda's odd participation in this strange little drama. How could anyone even think such a thing let alone say it when this is a Christian college? Maybe I just brushed it off at the time thinking that Debbie perhaps misinterpreted something, some look on my face or whatever. But I am getting very tired of all these people forcing me to think about lesbians and gays. I am really not interested in discussing that subject. Just because I had two cousins who were gay, as has been mentioned more than once, that does not mean that I would want to join them in their lifestyle choices or, for that matter, think very much about them in the future. I am very straight. And how is it that these people seem to know more about my cousins than I do? I was never around them all that much and can't really say much about what they were like in high school or speculate on who they would have married if things had been different. I do hope they were saved before they died of AIDS but otherwise I have nothing else to say about them. They had their lives and their friends with whom I am not acquainted and their tombstones memorialize them just like most of the people who have gone before us on this planet. I don't think that they were mistreated. If they are dealing with a lot of shame, it is unfortunate but we all come by these pangs of guilt naturally. It is called sin.

The Problem With Billionaires

Yes, what a joke, the bazillionaire Brizuelas pretending to be poor people, as if they needed the money and as if they could not afford to pay for whatever they want, a million-dollar condo in Miami, a flat in Paris or whatever. These billionaires did not amass their vast personal fortunes by being kind and generous to regular white folks such as myself. I should know that in a very personal way, shouldn't I? It's a dog eat dog world out there and these Brizuela billionaires did not get ahead with a view toward the English. It's more like they would bury us under a blizzard of Continental blithering if we let them if you know what I mean. So obviously it is not like I am going to bother calling Martha back. I already sort of know that she is just working the angles to make me look like an idiot. No need to add fuel to that fire, thanks anyway.

Misspoke

Yes, I would be misspeaking if I ever said that someone was gay without knowing for sure that they really are and I would have no way of knowing that. I was just mindlessly repeating what someone else said, I suppose. I may have done that more than once. People throw these labels around without thinking what they are saying but it really was the wrong thing to say. Still, only a vicious mongrel dog would take what I said that way so obviously I am never going to have another personal conversation with certain people every in this lifetime, especially not Dauna. I just cannot have all these little critters chewing on the furniture.

Pizza

Yes, I do like pizza but I also realize that the pizza delivery man is not going to let me have my pizza if he does not get paid first. It is not like the pizza man is really my friend or anything like that. It is not like the pizza man is going to care about whether I am hungry at the time or whatever, only about the cash or credit card and also tip. That's just how it is in the business world. It's all got to be quid pro quo. And likewise it's not like I would want the pizza man showing up at my house when I did not call him. The pizza man should not be making an appearance at the front door unless delivery is requested. Otherwise, it is not like the pizza man and I are on any kind of personal friendship basis. There is no need for the pizza man to wonder what I think about his personal behavior and lifestyle when he is involved in activities other than the delivery of pizzas. So like I am saying, you are just a pizza man and it is none of your business.

Bob

Yes, we were at MK Retreat one Thanksgiving, all of us MKs from El Salvador standing there talking and feeling sort of strange because we all seemed like different people to each other than the ones we remembered from the past — David, Bobby, Susie, me, and maybe Rene — and we were talking about our college experiences. Bobby said something about being shocked at all the gays in college. I am not sure what he meant by that or what to say because I am not sure exactly who they are. I have some clues in mind but not really any way to prove that in any conclusive way. Perhaps Bobby knows more about that than I do. I would be happy to refer all questions on the subject to Bobby because I really don't know and don't want to know anything else about that.

Rich People

Yes, I like this picture of rich people like Bill and Melinda Gates as debt collectors. That is one of the problems with the Republican Party platform, that rich people often are depicted as our friends who are going to provide us all with jobs when actually they are not our friends and not necessarily going to give us all jobs and might even fire us and send our jobs overseas to benefit the company's bottom line. In fact, rich people are so busy helping the poor that they have little thought or care for the middle class job seeker. Perhaps if you were a pathetically impoverished, disease-ridden, gaunt and skeletal shadow of a human being living in a Third World country, then the charity organization would step in to help nurse you, the pathetically suffering victim of war or famine, back from the brink of death. But things like that never happen to normal working class people who are required to toil away the rest of the years of their lives on the Social Security plan so that they have done their share for the system and can without any qualms of conscience collect their check right up to the end. That's just the reality of life in the 21st century.

Charlotte

Please don't ask me to give any opinion about Charlotte. I honestly remember almost nothing about her. I do remember once singing a trio with Cheryl Ganskie and maybe the other person with Charlotte although I'm not sure and our accompanist would have been Warren. Charlotte might have been a music major or studied music but I don't remember very much about her. I could check my notes but I really don't have much on the lower class music majors. I mostly think of her as the type of person who probably spent a lot of time slinging food around the cafeteria during foodfights. I always mostly ignored cafeteria foodfights and those annoying people who often boast of their prowess and daring in the foodfight arena. I never saw much value in establishing a reputation as one who would daringly grind a bowl of pudding onto someone's head or whatever. Like, so what? Who cares? That sort of food-slinging behavior gets you a lot of attention from targets like Tim Cederblom who might notice you and ask you out on a date after returning the favor but I was never very interested in getting to know him that well so it just doesn't matter to me. Don't expect me to come running with a pi to throw in your face just because. I think it was disgusting when you guys would leave the table and there would a heap of food slopped right there in the middle. I don't remember doing anything like that. That is just not who I am.

Girls vs. Graves

Yes, I vaguely remember at college some girls were hugging and crying at some meeting, I think one of them was Charlotte Rosser, and some guy seeing those girls hugging said something about being shocked to see all of those lesbians. I see from the alumni directory that Charlotte is married with children so obviously Joe did not know what he was talking about. And anyway can you really expect a guy like Joe Graves, sometimes derivisely dubbed "Mr. Joe Freshman," to say anything intelligent? I vaguely remember him being full of bluster but not someone take seriously. These guys are so full of themselves it is not even funny, just tedious.

Early Tongues

Yes, it is very obvious that persons who speak in tongues early in life have a definite advantage in the Pentecostal realm, especially if said early experience is recorded somewhere in great-grandmother's diary. So we see that my uncle early in life spoke in tongues and yet later in life became a disaster when he dumped his wife, married one of those Foursquare witches, left his own two daughters to wallow in stupid white-trash ignorance and spends most of the rest of his life with the Foursquare family that is not really his own except through divorce. Still, he spoke in tongues early in life so obviously he stands to inherit a bundle of Pentecostal cash perhaps and a life on easy street? No, obviously we see from the example of my own aunts and uncles that speaking in tongues early in life does not guarantee a stellar life to come. In fact, some people just never think about it again and forget almost everything they were ever taught in Sunday School, just like some Baptists that I can think of who believe that once saved always saved. So it's OK for the Baptists to live like hell on earth because they have a guaranteed ticket to heaven anyway but they really put us on a huge guilt trip because they were expecting something else. And the same to you Baptists, thanks anyway. So obviously these matters are often discussed among various Christian groups. Anyway, it it is better to speak in tongues early in life than to spend most of junior high camp evenings after chapel hanging out at the Pinecrest snack bar with trashy dancers Debbie Lange and Sherri Turnbull, but, anyway, it does not necessarily mean that you are going to win the lottery later either.

Saddleback Susie

Yes, we should give credit where credit is due. I can see the importance of giving credit to Susie, meaning my Dad's cousin, for preserving some measure of family history although I am not exactly sure what research she did or where I could find it. However, we should all remember that Saddleback Susie is not my Dad's cousin nor would she be a reliable source of information regarding my family's history or pretty much anything else for that matter. Saddleback Susie is a very confused, wicked friend who imagines herself an heir to the Stuart throne when actually she is just a working class citizen like everybody else except that her father died when she was 12 and thus she inherited a lot of money very young from Social Security and life insurance or proceeds from their family ranch in Paso Robles or something like that. Parental death is not a good way of coming into money but I suppose the money did help to relieve their anxieties about not having a father living. I still have my father living and thus no money to inherit, a completely different story obviously, but this is not a problem when I am only 12 years old. Everyone feels so sorry for Susie and her family. They are showered with attention at every turn because they are the Stewart pioneers whereas my family is, well, I don't know. Why do they always treat us like the redheaded stepchildren, as if we were not really part of the family, always misunderstanding everything I say? I thought they were more mature adults than that but apparently not.

Stewart Connections

It should also be pointed out that the family of Susie Stewart (MK-El Salvador) of Paso Robles is not related to the Stewarts of Upland and thus should not be confused with the Stewarts who are distantly related to us, not that this matters very much generally speaking. Susie's grandfather was Harry I. Stewart, not Harry V. Stewart, so obviously it is not his photograph that is found in our family's possession. Besides, Harry I. Stewart's mother was Louella Alice Alderson, not Louella Whetstone, so obviously she was not my great-grandmother's cousin nor was she related to Sharon, at least not from that angle. And there is some speculation as to whether Buzz's name is really Walter but that would not make him a son of Harry V. Stewart anyway. So all of these facts leave me unrelated to the Stewarts which does not bother me very much. I never was one of them anyway.

Oops!

Oops! I got this all mixed up. I am not a professionally trained genealogist, obviously, or I would not have forgotten that we are not at all related to Harold Van Allen Stewart, the son of Louella May and/or Mary Louella Whetstone and Allen Niefert Stewart who died in either 1975 or 1999 depending on what the facts actually might be. Thus, it is obvious that Mrs. Whetstone is not my great-grandmother's cousin. However, that does not mean that we are related to Sharon Whetstone either. That does not make Sharon's mother a cousin to my great-grandmother, not that I would have had a clue about this in college. I don't see any Whetstones in our family tree, not that it matters. Billions of other people on the planet also are not in my direct family tree so I am not sure why the Whetstones are so intent on brewing this tempest in a teapot. I cannot rewrite history to make Mrs. Whetstone the mother of Harry Stewart. It just doesn't work that way. Sorry.