The Shocking Truth

Yes, it is very shocking to think of Rose Wilson as a lesbian dike but it came out of her own mouth and so obviously no one is going to argue with that. I for one don't want to know anything else about it. I never really liked Rose anyway. I am busy planning to get married and have a family eventually so I will have no time to spare for Rose and her sidekicks Debbie and Lynda, especially not now. Sorry but I really don't like this idea of these lesbian dikes bullying me into submission to their personal agenda. It's just not my thing. I have other priorities. Even a wedding ring on the finger does not necessarily mean very much to those people. Just look at Sharon. Just troll the Internet and see my bimbo-idiot high school classmate Heather prattling on her pseudo-theology blog. What would a beer-swilling Episcopalian party animal know about theology anyway? Nothing, obviously. On the other hand being a single woman could just mean that Mr. Right was shot and killed in Vietnam, further skewing the ratio of available men to available women. I realize that it was not fair that Pastor Webber forced the five boys into a gay lifestyle in which they are not allowed to have wives and children because of their sick brains, thus taking five more candidates out of the available gene pool. Still, forcing me to become a lesbian to satisfy the vengeful demands of the five Wicked Witch mothers for equal suffering on our part does not really make this alright. Six wrongs don't make a right. I have been wronged and slandered and I think someone should take those wicked witch mothers out behind a barn. Shoot the old dogs or plug their mouths before they do any more damage. I think they should be more than satisfied with the millions of dollars that they already have extorted from the Assemblies of God denomination when actually it was just all Pastor Webber's fault anyway. We just all trusted these wicked, child-molesting pastors way too much.