Broken

Yes, we don't think it is fair for us to be held hostages of Karen and Richard. Sometimes Karen is just a broken record. She gets stuck on one point and cannot get off it. Sometimes you have to remember that Karen is only 25% of the picture. Just because she is a few years older than I, that does not mean that she has a very good understanding of anything much. As we can see, she has not done very well for herself so far so there is not much reason for me to care that much about what Karen thinks anyway. I have other ideas than Karen would know anything about and she just would not able to understand.

Landowners

Yes, these wicked landowners ought to be ashamed of themselves. All kinds of filth spews from their mouths and then they pretend that it is all my fault. I am really tired of everything being my fault. It is all just an illusion, a lot of politicking, because really it is not my fault. I never had a chance to begin with, locked out from the start, so there never was any reason to try.

And who is the guilty party in James 5:1-6? I think it is you:

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

The oil companies want to harvest the oil eventually but the time is not yet so no big deal. It won't kill me if the oil does not pay off for another generation or two. Maybe some relatives of ours will enjoy it a couple of hundred years from now even if we are no longer in the land of the living to know what happened. There is no rush, plenty of oil left in the Mideast to keep my car on the road.

I do wish that I could have had children to leave my share to but no luck. Obviously no man in his right mind would want to marry a dog like me. Thus, I will have to leave mine to other relatives in the family because really it is a personal decision, not something to discuss with them.

In or Out

I do remember my cousin Karen telling me how jealous she was when Jack used to babysit us, meaning me and Karen and David and maybe René and Richard. Karen said that she was jealous of our bond, meaning Jack and David and me, that we were very close and Karen felt out of the loop, like she was an outsider. I really do not remember that. I actually remember very little of significance about Jack nor can I think of much to say about him. I do not think that I am "in" anything that I know of or that Karen is "out" either. I do not know what she is talking about. I mostly feel like an outsider myself. I suppose that we all feel like outsiders sometimes in life. No one is always "in" everything. There are times when we just do not know what other people are going through and even if we have our opinions about that we cannot really know everything.

Bricks: Ha ha ha!

Oh ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!

And what makes Cori Nipper think that I would ever think of coveting her namesake brick in the Yellow Brick Road?

Oh ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!

Maybe it is a good thing that my gpa did not qualify me for the "honors" society at my college. Thus my name is not sitting there alongside that of foul-mouthed Cori and a few others who have done nothing to clarify the confusion about the meaning of "honor" and everything to make it worse than ever.

Oh ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!

You cannot plant me in your penthouse. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

You cannot really put me in the "Wizard of Oz" box. It just doesn't fit. We all know that Frank Baum was a completely cynical atheist. The beautifully written "Oz" book series, I read most of them because we had probably all of them at the MK school and whatever we had was probably read by at least some of us. The Patchwork Girl, etc. They are classic children's books. Still, we cannot take any of that stuff seriously. Not really. If you take it too seriously, you will end up imagining that the only miracles are the products of your own imagination, that you were only dreaming, that it was all just an illusion or sleight of hand by a clever magician, the suspension of disbelief required of theatergoers.

No, sometimes there really are miracles that cannot be rationalized or explained away. Sometimes God really can do amazing things if we have faith to believe. That is the problem sometimes with modern society and progress. We are so fascinated by our own accomplishments and skills that we forget about the author and the finisher of our faith. We forget that it all comes from God above. With God all things are possible, as the Bible says.

Land Rights

Yes, it is odd to hear all these talking heads on TV, all these nattering nabobs of negativity, telling me that I have to cooperate with the devil or die. And if I don't cooperate with the devil I will also die. So there is just no hope for me. I might as well be dead because the landowner has us surrounded on every side, as if we were his prisoners, as if drilling were our fault, as if the potential for environmental damage were an imminent reality. No, it is really not up to us. The oil companies, they are the ones who take surveys of the land. They are the ones who decide whether the prospects are good or not. They are the ones who will negotiate the lease of land for drilling if necessary. They are the ones who really should take care not to spill oil and if they do to compensate for damages. They are the ones who will seem a lot like the waterman who comes to our house to check the city water meter. We have to give the waterman access to the city water meter outside. Same thing sort of. And we also have to pay for the water. You don't have to pay for the oil, you just won't get the royalties. I also probably won't live long enough to see the royalties and it is not something to arrange my life around. I am not a multinational corporation who has diversified interests and income sources. I cannot afford to put my entire life on hold to wait for oil drilling when everyone says there is nothing there anyway. It is a sentimental thing to us, something about my grandfather's deal with the banks. We do not require landowners to prove themselves "good" people in order to do farming and ranching. The same should be true for us.

Passports and Vaccinations

Yes, it would be interesting to learn more about the passport snafu of 1916. Did the passports expire or were they seized in a crackdown on missionary activities by those atheistic U.S. diplomats so disdainful of the value of the missionary presence in China. Or maybe it was not like that. Maybe it was the clueless missonaries who did not have their paperwork in proper order and were so disrespectful to the U.S. diplomats when these discrepancies were pointed out in December of 1916 and remedied. So which was it? What exactly happened anyway? I suppose it is only coincidental that famous U.S. diplomat Samuel Sobokin was shot at while driving to Mongolia. Probably no connection there. So what did happen and who was involved? It would be interesting to know more about that.

Bea

Yes, one does logically wonder why stupid fat ugly matron Bea Mintle is still buzzing around up there in Central Florida as if she had anything intelligent to say about me. It is fortunate for the Mintles that missionaries cannot be fired. If it were not so, then Bea's stupid husband Harold would have been out of a job long long ago. No need for his "secretary," the fat ugly spinster Carol Long, to try and detract attention from Harold's shortcomings by trying to make points about me, her assistant for two years. For two long years I endured Carol's constant insults and condescension, dutifully shoveling the required paperwork — typing and transcribing and filing and photocopying and shredding and the like— and what did I get for all my hard work? Nothing much. It is not like I would ever be promoted by people who know me as a "kid" and cannot imagine me as anything else but a "kid." Carol tries to make much of the time when I was putting some things away in Harold's desk, Harold being absent from the office as usual, and Carol opened the door and "caught" me briefly sitting in Harold's chair. Carol made some bizarre comment about it being illegal for me to be sitting in the chair. I am not allowed to do that because it would look too presumptuous, as if I would want that job. Ha ha ha! It would not be so bad for her to say that once, but then for her comment to be circulate all over the planet as if I were still sitting there in Harold's chair gives much too much weight to the importance of Carol, who was later fired anyway for proposing her own promotion but that was after I left. Anyway, we never had much to do with the Mintles or, for that matter, anyone from Ecuador. We cannot explain how the Mintles turned out such pathetically "bad" drug addict sons. We cannot explain how Nathan met Carol Hultgren, who was a pathetically "bad" drug addict daughter. Truly they were soulmates, a match made in heaven is the traditional saying. We cannot explain why the Ecuador missionaries are so boastful of their work when we actually do not see much fruit of that. Maybe they were the problem. Who knows?

Church

Yes, there at church on Sunday was that hideous 'Ice Queen' Ophelia hissing and spitting venom all over the place. Yes, it makes sense that Ophelia would not bother to come over say hello to me after all the vicious backstabbing she has been engaged in over the years. One would think that these simple-minded people would realize that Scandinavian is not synonymous with blond Pentecostal. You could be Scandinavian and also be a Hispanic-looking pagan tree lover as we all know too well. Yes, I got the message about how Ophelia has a problem with my voice teacher. Ophelia also serious vocal problems and that is why no one wants to listen to her painful rendition anyway. One would think that by now these people would get a clue and realize that California's glory days are over and gone for good. In today's global marketplace one would think that one would realize that no one has time for California's provincial backwater villages so redolent of Mexican folklore. We have other things on our minds now.

Land Rights

Yes, we own the mineral rights and they own the land so they have to give us access to the land for purposes of testing and whatever the surveyors want to do and, maybe someday if we ever got lucky drilling. However, we cannot have these obnoxious landowners meddling in our personal lives. We cannot have these wicked landowners showing up at our house to download the contents of my computer and snoop around in my bookshelves and researching our family tree as if that would change a thing. They have no rights to me because I am not a piece of property. I am only an intangible thing who means nothing to them. We are not interested in getting personally acquainted with the wicked vile snooty landowners who so obnoxiously make their stupid points about not being able to say no to drilling. Get a life, you pathetic whiney landowners. We are sick of hearing your pathetic whiny garbage from your pathetic whiney pastoral staff who seem to have forgotten that they work for us, not for you. Grow up, you big crybabies. Do you think we are so naive as to not know that you make your deals with the oil companies? Do you illegal riff-raff, how dare you call us with your whiny complaints?

The Vicious Yearys

Yes, it is so miserable to sit there and listen to wicked Pastor Yeary telling me that everything I do is a big mistake and that basically my existence is a huge mistake and that everything I say or do is wrong wrong wrong. I never should have been born according to them. What a creepy loser he is. How dare these wicked Yearys accuse me of being bigoted when actually they are the liars who are discriminating against me. They pretend to be Jewish, as if the ministry were theirs as a birthright, when actually they lie lie lie. It is easy to boast about being ministers after the fact, after you have a job as a pastor and nobody can fire you because you have the ownership of the church building all locked up in legalities. They pretend that I was born of an inferior race when actually they have serious mental issues. I cannot be expected to figure out what their problem is but, anyway, if God did not mean for me to born, then why am I still here anyway? Go figure.

PIs

Yes, my former co-worker Michael Sasser, who lives somewhere down in Miami area, mentioned that he also moonlights as a private investigator. Funny, you would not imagine such a happy-go-lucky fat young guy being actually a snake, nor can I imagine why he would have any reason to investigate me. I am nobody important and do not know anything about it. Mike Sasser has written some books although nothing all that impressive yet, or at least nothing on bestseller lists. He is mostly trying to follow in the footsteps of his Dad who lives in Oklahoma and writes books, as Mike himself told me, not that I have heard from Mike in many years, not since he left the company for whatever reason, because he wanted to spend more time writing books or something like that. I am not a good person to ask about Mike as I do not know anything about it. You could always ask Andy, wherever he went. If anyone should be paid for spilling the beans it should probably be me because without me you would still be just as confused as ever. Obviously I have supplied all the information that is helpful to toward dispelling widespread confusion and anything I do not know is not necessary anyway or else none of your business.

Jeff

I well remember studying Mexican history and hearing the story of how the Mexican people wandered through the wilderness looking for a place to call home. One day they came to a lake and in the lake was a small island and on the island was a cactus and on the cactus was an eagle killing a snake which it would eat for dinner. This was taken as a sign that this was the place and, of course, everyone knows that this lake no longer exists because it was filled in to build Mexico City. Yes, snakes are not something that I would eat for dinner but I do remember that my friend Jeff kept the skin of a dead snake in his sock drawer there in the house where he and his family lived in Guadalajara. Snakes commonly inhabit such areas of Mexico, as we all know. I also remember that during a picnic near a volcano we found a beautiful piece of obsidian, which is a volcanic rock turned to glass, as well as pumice. That is probably when I started collecting rocks. Obsidian and pumice can also be found in El Salvador which has many volcanoes. One learns about these things when one lives there for a long time.

Richard & Karen

Yes, it is hard to understand why my cousins Karen and Richard have such an uppity attitude when they both of them have nothing to boast about. All they have done is spend all their parents' money and accomplished nothing much in their lives. Why should I care whether they ever get any benefit from land ownership? It is really not my problem that they are broke deadbeats. I well remember one year how we arrived at my grandparents' house in Modesto, California, to celebrate Christmas and cousin Richard was very upset at the appearance of these strangers who claimed to be cousins. How dare we presume to be related and in the same family as Richard? Did we not know that those are his grandparents only and that we are intruders? Yes, that is how they are. We used to it.

On The Way

Yes, I did visit that Foursquare Church On The Way a handful of times along with Barbara Harvey's sister Marlene on a few Sunday evenings. She ended up going there regularly and met her husband there, a banker I think she said on the phone, but I moved away so do not know much about Marlene anymore. I only know that I did enjoy the few times that I visited there with Marlene. It is a very nice church if you can afford to live in the Hollywood area but it was much too far away for me to ever commute there by myself from Orange County. It is not like I would ever be able to get involved there. I would be exhausted from all that driving. I remember well that Debbie Thomson (MK Venezuela) and her husband tried to get a job there but it is very hard to get involved with Foursquare if you are not born and raised Foursquare and known by all those Hollywood celebrities and assorted various people who attend there. I think I heard that things did not go so well for Debbie Thomson and her husband and that they were disappointed but I do not remember the details of that story anymore. I only know that Van Nuys is not the only church "on the way" to heaven. One can go to heaven without ever setting foot in a Foursquare church or even the City of Van Nuys for that matter, or ever hearing a word from Jack Hayford. The gospel is about Jesus Christ, not a particular church building or pastor. He is the head and we are just the arms and legs so to speak. Still, it is a good idea to find a good church with a good pastor who preaches the gospel of Christ rather than some other gospel wherever you may live.

Memories

Yes, it is funny how your own mind can play tricks on you. I am starting to remember something that I had partly forgotten about the two ladies who parked their travel trailer on the Bible school property. I am starting to remember that it was actually the Baptists who were making a big fuss about them being there not far from where the MK school is, within walking distance, as if those ladies were ever going to apply to become teachers at the MK school. No, the two ladies were not there to teach school. They were there to hold services and do ministry in local churches. All that fuss about them possibly teaching school was just the Baptists like Gail Reese making a huge fuss because that is what they do, always trying to agitate against and defame Pentecostals and make something out of nothing. Now the AG missionaries at the time did have some issues with those ladies being there and did not invite them to join the missionary fellowship but the MF is not the same thing as the MK school. The MK school, although located on AG property, was run by a board of parents of all the denominations represented. So while the MF did have some issues with the two ladies, that is not something to discuss with stupid Baptists like Cori Nipper and Cindy Bell. It is an internal matter and if they had permission from the AG to park their trailer there, then there is nothing that the Baptists would have to say about that.

Photogenic

I am not photogenic. I never said I was or that I would ever be interested in doing broadcast television. Television personalities generally are thin and blonde and have bulldog personalities, always quick with a flippant retort for the liveliest of repartee. I have always known that I am not gifted with that quick-draw wit and, besides, I was never photogenic. You must have me confused with the arrogantly belligerent Machelle Bush. Machelle arrived at CBN fully expecting a quick rise to television broadcasting fame but it did not work that way for her. I see that she later became a teacher. In fact I do not know of many of us who did take the TV route. I always thought print would be the route for me. Too bad that paper is just too expensive nowadays. In today's paperless society there is just nowhere to put this.

Lynda and Dauna

Yes, Lynda was there attending the music workshop as was I when Dauna snuck into the audience. Perhaps it was the other music building. I don't remember. It might have been voice class but I am not sure. And how did Dauna know that Jim Linzey was going to make a big blithering idiot speech and also sing his painfully bad rendition of "I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked"? I do not know but I imagine that Lynda told Dauna, Lynda and Dauna being roommates on the second floor. I was not all that privvy to their private discussions down below regarding the pathetic social status of Jim as I was probably not present. I only remember some things that Dauna told me but down on the second floor they had their fingers in a lot of pies at that time. I do not really remember that much about it. You could always ask Lynda and Dauna.

Poor Jim

Poor Jim! We do feel sorry for geeky weird Jim. Christmas dinner was nice. But frankly that was a very long time ago and he never has spoken to me since and frankly I really do not care anymore if I never hear from Jim ever again, especially not now. I do feel sorry for Jim and his many emotional and mental disturbances. But frankly it is sad to see him trying so hard when he continues to be so pathetically mediocre, not an original thought in his empty head. Sure, I can understand where he might want to prove something to us who were there that night, to prove to us that he really can be somebody and do something important, as if we were the ones who were the source of his problem when actually it was mostly the second floor dogs. We think it is laudable that he loves the Lord and works in the ministry. Still, we all probably have some things we would also love to put it in our enemies' ears as well if we ever had the chance. It is not fair that our lives are being held hostage in this one-way direction to Jim's emotional problems when actually Jim is not really part of my life anymore.

Yes, I remember talking about how paranoid the Psalms are, how full of vengeance and prayers of triumph over one's enemies. But frankly, I am not Jim's enemy. I am just another Christian who is also praying for triumph over my enemies whoever they are and I think that it is high time that God listened to my prayers for a change. What do you think I am? Swiss cheese?

Jim's Problems

Yes, that was odd. There we were in the old music building, the one that was torn down for a chapel, and Jim Linzey got up to sing and gave a huge long speech about all of his emotional pain and then sang, I am not sure what song, maybe, "I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked," although I am not sure. Poor guy! It must be painful to be such a geeky weirdo. Jim was overwrought and bleeding emotionally all over the place and everyone was just sitting there scared to death and not sure what to say to him. (And who was Jim's accompanist? I am thinking maybe Warren but I am not sure. It also might have been Debbie.) Anywway, I am not completely sure of what all his emotional problems were, not to mention the voice quavers which nerves will do nothing to remediate. I remembered some things that Dauna said but I am thinking that his speech seemed to indicate that he had many other overwhelming emotional problems as well. This was in the spring semester. I had gone to the Christmas banquet with Jim but he had not spoken to me since then so that just confirmed to me that he had no personal interest in me. He had just needed someone to fill the ticket, that's all.

The weird thing is that Dauna had slipped into the room during the music workshop and sat near myself and Lynda and thus also witnessed Jim's performance. It was weird for Dauna to be there. Lynda and I had a reason to be there but Dauna was just spying. Dauna just wanted to see what Jim was going to say. So Jim looks over at the three of us and his expression registers more emotional pain. I am not sure what Jim was thinking but, anyway, Jim has a lot of problems.

High School

Yes, I remember how miserable the high school years were for me. When I was in high school we mostly had to socialize with the missionary families all of whom had only boys younger than myself. It gets kind of boring having to hang out with little boys who only want to talk about cartoons and the Three Stooges and cars and boats and boy stuff, not that there is anything wrong with that. It is just that I am a girl and older than they are and I have other interests that they know nothing about. I cannot really participate all that excitedly in their fusbol games which they of course want to win. They would not appreciate an older girl like me cleaning their clocks on the monopoly board. So basically life was rather lonely for me. We never socialized at the Union Church because those people are not even Christians, not as we would define the word, so they would not understand anything. We could try to explain but then they would just box it all anyway so there would be no point in trying to explain.

Aunts

Yes, "Aunt" Linda can be easily described as the "aunt" from hell so to speak. And Cindy is more of the same probably, not that I would know anything about them. I just do not associate with that type of lowlife trash. It is fortunate that my grandparents are not alive to see what a huge disappointment little Cindy turned out to be. One would think that she would be embarrassed to show her face in public after being such a horrible slut. I would not imagine being so snarky to my own relatives but since Linda was so mean and utterly rude to me I might as well return the favor.

"Aunt" Calls

That was weird. Why was my Wicked Witch Aunt trying to contact me anyway? What fellowship can a Christian believer such as myself have with such a demon-possessed vicious shrew as my own aunt, sad to say it, always conniving behind my back as if she were the Empress Dowager and the entire fate of the People's Republic of China depended on herself alone? Ha ha ha! My aunt is always trying to position herself against me, as if she had anything to offer but the empty nothingness of mainliners who actually believe in nothing but empty slavery to the demands of a works-based version of salvation. We even had some of those in El Salvador where I grew up. They built themselves a beautiful church with huge windows offering a panoramic view of the mountain. There they congregate to network with other wealthy people, businessmen and diplomats. But do they preach the gospel? I never attended there so I really do not know very much about the Union Church specifically, but generally speaking the mainliners do not really have a clue, as we see from the example of clueless Trina. And what would my Wicked Witch Aunt know about high school anyway? Nothing actually. My Wicked Witch Aunt shamelessly spreads lies about me because, well, I don't know why. I do not understand my wicked relatives and why they hate me so much. I only know that it is pathetic to see my divorced Wicked Uncle strutting around as if he were Chiang Kai-Shek ruling the family along with his vicious Foursquare slut Kay and his putrid "mother" Linda. Ha ha ha! My Aunts and Uncles really should get a clue because they were never that important. It was never about them to start with, at least not as far as I am concerned.

Linda

Yes, it is no secret that my Aunt Linda is mentally ill. She is very very sick in the head. One cannot have a rational conversation with such a Wicked Witch as "Aunt" Linda. Linda's example proves that a pastor's daughter can grow up to be a completely demon-possessed harridan. Maybe that is Ophelia's problem also. If Linda hates having redheaded nieces and nephews, that is only one further proof of what a worthless piece of trash Uncle Merle chose for the mother of his children, as if her Dutch heritage were anything of value to us, and as if there were any reason to think that my creepy loser uncle was ever a godly Christian anyway. So what if Uncle Merle will not be sending Christmas presents? For that matter, some of my other relatives also are quite wicked but Linda takes the cake for utter stupidity. Totally weird. Sometimes I think that I might as well not have any relatives, actually, because the ones I have are nuts, especially Linda and her brood of ungodly riff-raff grandchildren. What do you expect from a completely stupid cousin like Cindy? What was Linda expecting anyway? Did she expect us to expose ourselves to the ungodly demons that seem to inhabit the Jenewein clan? Was she expecting us to do her job of mothering for her? Did Linda ever go to church and read her Bible? Why should I care about stupid Linda anyway? She is nothing to me, just a stupid aunt who always treated me like garbage. I am not so Chinese as to imagine that family relationships require me to respect Linda in anyway, especially not now.

Introducing the Cook

Ah Ra, the cook, Shanghai

Let us now meet Ah Ra the cook. There he is on his way to or from the marketplace carrying the basket containing the daily food purchases. Yes, doubtless everything had to be purchased fresh in Shanghai, China, what with the scarcity of refrigerators in the early part of the century and previously. Where is the footprint of modern technology in his traditional garb and possibly hair in pigtail? Where is the car for driving to the market? Did he walk all the way there and all the way back every day? Yes, poor Ah Ra the cook. These people of old China worked so hard for so little.

We forget sometimes how fortunate we are here in the United States. Which reminds me that I once attended a week long conference in Chicago. My roommate that week was from Kansas City and whined and complained the whole time about how her husband, a Chinese man, a cook, was not treated as well as ought to be expected by the pastor and white men of the church they attended even though he sometimes cooked for church events. As if that were anything unusual. And you were expecting streets paved with gold here in America? Did you think that we had already arrived in heaven? No, this is not heaven and every luxury that we enjoy now is the result of a lot of hard work and ingenuity of the American people even though the convenience of cars and refrigerators is now taken for granted. It is not a right or entitlement that I should have to sit here listening to what's-her-name from Kansas City complaining about something to which she and her husband are not entitled. Let us not forget that a cook is just a cook. We all have our places in life and the cook is not the king. Just be grateful that you are not starving along with the millions dying in China.

Jim Linzey's Autobiography

Jim Linzey's book

A Divine Appointment in Washington D.C.

Here is another autobiography but I have not read this book. Yes, who knew that Jim Linzey would go on to be a famous army chaplain and write his autobiography after bombing so badly in college. Dauna told me something about it. I suppose it goes to show that you just never know about people. I once even had a date with Jim Linzey. Below, here are some of us in the college dorm vamping before the Christmas banquet. So I had to spend the whole evening listening to Jim Linzey yap endlessly about himself, as if he even cared about me. I was maybe fourth or fifth on his list, his other choices having turned him down, and I was the one who said yes because, silly me, at the time I thought he liked me. That was before Dauna broke the news to me that actually several other girls were his top choices, including Dauna herself, but they all turned him down and I was only a last resort . So I should be humble and not get any ideas about Jim Linzey liking me. No, it does not work that way. It is just all about Jim.

At left: Me, Heather, Gloria, Lisa

So how did Jim bomb in college? I personally only witnessed his bombings of the musical variety. But Dauna told me that early in his time at SCC he used the "M" word in a conversation with a girl and she absolutely blackballed him socially. She told a lot of other girls and they all spread the word about what a geeky weirdo he was. I got the news from Dauna much later. It does seem sort of weird that he would use that word in a personal conversation. He did not use this word with me but probably he had already learned his lesson by that time. I imagine that he probably did not mention that incident in his own book. It is not something to talk about with girls, obviously. No, Jim does not strike me as a Frank. As for who the girls were who organized the social ostracism of Jim, I really do not remember. I am sure that Dauna knows all about that. You could always ask Dauna.

Crazy For God

MK Autobiography

Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as One of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or Almost All) of It Back

I am currently partway through this book, Franky Schaeffer's autobiography. How nice to have such glamorous and wealthy parents who also happen to be missionaries. Most missionary kids are not so fortunate as Mr. Franky Schaeffer who spent his early years hobnobbing with celebrities and living among the intelligentisa of Europe, in the Swiss Alps. I supposed that if my childhood had been so glamorous I would have something to write about in a book. But the reality of my life is that the only time I ever attended the 700 Club I was only sitting in the audience. I remember that Mario Murrillo was the speaker and I had already heard him before speaking at my college so nothing new there, no reason to raise my hand. I was just there in the audience but did not raise my hand. Yes, Frank and I never seeem to be on the same page.

Mediocrity

Addicted to Mediocrity: Contemporary Christians and the Arts


Yes, this book has been sitting on my bookshelf for years. Maybe someday I will even get around to actually reading it. It might seem like it should not be so hard to read this book. After all, the book is very short, only 124 pages. And the title sounds so important, something about Christianity and the Arts. Wow! I mean, who does not want to sound fashionably artsy, anyway? And the author sounds like it might be someone important. After all, the book is published by a reputable publisher and has a glossy cover with art by Michelangelo, nonetheless. So why haven't I read this book? I am not sure exactly why I have never quite been able to get very far in this book. Maybe it is the idea of trying to decide what art is excellent and what is only mediocre. I mean, who am I to say? It is not my opinion that matters. What matters about art is whether the people like it and want it and buy it. And yet schlocky, mass-produced art is everywhere and pervasive and what is unique and quality is very expensive. I am not so presumptuous as to imagine that I could afford all that quality stuff so I am mostly stuck with mediocrity, if that is what you call mediocrity. And so maybe that is why this book seems too depressing to actually read past the blurb on the back. I mean, so what if I just cannot afford to buy the clothes that I really like and end up buying stuff I like less because it is what I can afford? That is reality. Excellence in art is a matter for connoisseurs and rich people to ponder. As for myself, maybe someday I will read this book. It won't change my life but at least I will have read another important book. Some people ridicule me for reading too many books, as if that were pretentious but, well, I don't know, I just always liked to read. and at least I am not so pretentious as to imagine that ignorance is bliss.

Nationals

Yes, it is sort of scary to think that Carmen, a high school classmate who mostly just sneered at me in utter contempt of gringos, later married a United States diplomat and was representing my interests as a U.S. citizen over there in various countries, mostly Italy and China, her husband working at U.S. embassies according to the alumni directory. Some of these people would love nothing better than an opportunity to finish the job that the Spanish Armada was never able to complete. With the U.S. military/scientific complex backing these Spanish "conquistadors," there would be nothing to stand in the way of their complete domination of society. Recessive genes for characteristics such as red hair would be utterly crushed by the black hair and brown skin types. Redheads, not unlike the Mayans, would mostly disappear in the genocidal and/or genealogical fray. There will be nothing we can do about it. What England's isolation was able to prevent, the enforced socialism of today's America will make unavoidable. We will have no defenses when the Spanish Armada sails to victory over the whites and blacks. There will be nothing to stand in the way of their assuming all positions of power over the morally weak and genetically recessive "American" people. Sheer numbers will make our oblivion a reality, eventually.

And you thought that I was hanging out with rich kids in high school? Ha! High school was miserable. I always thought that there would be a life after high school where things would be different but now I am seeing that is probably not going to be the case. I am just going to die and that's all there is to my story. There is not going to be any autobiography, in case you were expecting something.

Television

Yes, I do agree that there always was something irritatingly smug and self-righteous about Carmen, especially in the way that she always boasted of never watching television and knowing nothing about television programs and its various cultural permutations. As if there were a direct correlation between the watching of television and being a member of the National Honor Society. As if there were a direct correlation between watching television and being a member of the Satanic cult represented by such programs as "Bewitched" and "I Dream of Jeannie." You could just as easily never watch television because you are an impoverished illiterate who cannot afford to buy a television set. Or you could just as easily watch lots of television programs and yet be a Christian and even go to heaven when you die. It is not that simple. Someone said something about the Italians doing something to Carmen in regard to this point, maybe some of her irritating ways of pretending to be someone she is not, or something related to television, but I don't know anything about it because I was not involved in that. I am only hearing about it second-hand or third-hand from various sources but I cannot really explain what actually happened or why anyone would imagine that I would ever be friends with Carmen, especially not now.

Mental Health

Yes, I must have been crazy to spend so much time talking to counselors when actually it is my parents who need to talk to shrinks. Surely my Dad can't be serious about me never getting married. He must be completely out of his mind. I would never be able to survive as a single carbon copy/clone of that lady Barbara, she of the travel trailer and the traveling companion, Anna. I would starve to death first. And anyway, so what if at age three I did that stupid thing with the Oddo boy. The Oddo boy is ancient history now. He will never be part of my life ever again and the sooner he gets used to that idea and disabused of any other silly notions the better. I cannot have these crazy people running my life into the ground. My Dad must have gone bonkers if he thinks I am ever going to discuss such a personal matter with him. Basically, it is not his decision to make. I have pretty good judgment, actually, and I know what I want. Just because I made a mistake at age three, that does not mean that I am going to kick the plumbing later. Basically how it works is when I have everything all arranged, then I will explain it to my parents and not a moment before. I cannot trust my parents not to go blabbing to everyone on the planet immediately upon introductions so the introductions will have to wait until I am already sure of what I want and everything is basically planned. Only then will I be able to say anything to anyone, least of all to my parents.

License

I wonder what makes Michelle and those other yearbook people think that they have a license to hurt me? No, they have only been granted a license to explain their own folly and their own stupid thinking in assembling the yearbook in that odd way with all of its assorted mistakes. Obviously I don't know anything about it so I cannot begin to explain why some people's photos are omitted or what they were thinking. Someone said something to me about it but, as I have said before, I know nothing about it. And do they imagine that they themselves are in charge of school enrollment and grading? Do not the parents have anything to say about that? Why did my presence on the platform at graduation seem so annoying to some people? These people really should get a grip on reality because the fact is that I am NOT the maid of Soong May-ling or anyone else for that matter. I am a high school student like everyone else on the platform. My grandmother once said something about the maid, like in China maybe she was connected to the Pentecostals and said something to them, but I don't know anything specific about that, only something vague that grandmother said. Just because I am not on the yearbook staff, that does not make me the maid of Soong May-ling. Lots of Pentecostals were low-class and poor, especially in the early days, and maybe even now, but that is not an absolute rule, only a general demographic. We Pentecostals are not required to be poor in terms of religions. Our religions is not requiring poverty of Pentecostals. No, it is the powers that be, the government and society, that has arrayed all these forces against us to prevent us from ever climbing out of poverty. But still, I have never been to China so all of this has nothing to do with me and my life. Or does it? Hmmm...


I am not the maid of Rosanne Murphy who actually was my third grade teacher. I was a student at the MK school when she was a teacher there. I cannot comment on divorce and all that other stuff that happened several years later because I don't know anything about it. That all happened in the United States, probably in Colorado. I have only visited Colorado for one week so cannot say much about Colorado. I do not know anyone in Colorado except for my cousin who moved there later so has no connection to that stuff. So Rosanne married a divorced man but I do not know anything about that. I only know that she was my third grade teacher and that John Bueno invited them to live there and operate an orphanage. So that was his idea because the Buenos are the ones who know all about that. You could always ask the Buenos.

I only know that in third grade we girls once stayed overnight at Miss Murphy's house, the house where she lived with some other people, and in the morning there was a little black kitten trapped on the roof of the first floor, sort of an awning that we could see from the second floor window. The mewing kitten was rescued and because no one claimed it or wanted it we ended up taking the kitten home with us and we named it Spooky. When we went home on furlough in 1970 we gave the kitten to the maid, Betty, who moved back home to Santa Ana. Perhaps Spooky's descendants are still living out there in Santa Ana. Who knows? You could always ask Betty the maid, but not Betty my mom.

Mainline vs. Pentecostal

Now isn't that funny, my relatives pretending to be on the other side of things and joining mainline churches? Our great-grandparents were not mainliners, at least not after Azusa Street. They were Pentecostals before there was a Pentecostal denomination to which to belong and later joined the Assemblies of God. I don't understand why George Wood is pretending to be a mainliner when obviously the AG is a Pentecostal denomination, one of several that developed out of the revivals of the early 1900s.

Now isn't that funny, the mainliners pretending that it was the Pentecostals who encouraged Generalissimo Chiang Kai-Shek to divorce his first wife, Mao Fumei, to marry the wealthy socialite Soong May-Ling in 1927, as if we had anything to gain from that? Soong May-Ling was mostly Methodist from what I understand, although her family's Christian roots went all the way back 300 years to the first Jesuit missions to China. Soong May-ling's own father was a Methodist minister who worked with missionaries so obviously they were mainliners.

It was mostly the mainliners who celebrated Madame Chiang Kai-shek as the greatest hope for Christianity in China. But my great-grandparents were Pentecostal missionaries in China, not Methodists. It is true that they were Methodists before they became Pentecostals but that was before they went to China. In China they were Pentecostals and probably had not much opportunity for contact with such highly ranked people. It is true that we are not unaware of these politicians but we don't really know very much about them. My grandmother said something about the maid but I don't know what she meant by that. Those people are certainly not our personal friends, make no mistake. It is true that some of my distant relatives have reverted to Methodism, and that my Dad's cousin attended the mostly Methodist USC maybe in the 1950s, not that I know anything about that. But we are not really a Methodist family, not even a mainline family, with some exceptions.


After all, this is not the first time in history that divorce has reared its ugly head as a . Yes, the story of Henry VIII and his wives comes to mind. Several of his wives did not die of natural causes, and were in fact beheaded, all in the name of Christianity. "Onward Christian Soldiers," the song says.

Now isn't that funny, some crazy person telling me that I must pay for all of this garbage. I must reenact the tragic story of Mao Fumei. I must be her. I must be Mao, the woman spurned by all. If the President of the United States tells me that I must be single and miserable, that I must give up my husband to the other woman, that I must allow the other woman to raise my son and tell him where to go, who am I to argue with the awesome power of the most powerful First World government on the planet? Who am I to argue with the generals who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima? If those guys tell me that I must die lonely and impoverished, a forgotten shadow in the annals of history, what of it? Why should anyone feel sorry for me? I think there is something twisted about this scenario, as if the U.S. were actually that powerful. One often sees these fantasies in Latin American newspapers, like the time a hurricane hit Central America and it was widely reported that U.S. tampering with the weather had diverted the hurricane away from U.S. shores. Yes, I remember reading the article about Hurricane Fifi in the Spanish newspaper. And I also remember reading about how the U.S. did not really land on the moon and that it was all staged in a Hollywood studio. Ha ha ha! As if we were the foreign devils. Ha ha ha!

Yearbook Omissions

Yes, it is becoming very clear that my great-grandfather is not listed in the China Yearbooks. Also probably not listed are most of the Pentecostal missionaries with whom they worked and whose names do appear in the early Pentecostal publications. And we are NOT surprised. They just did not count in the eyes of the mainliners who were in charge of publishing the yearbook, meaning those mainline Protestant denominations who did have direct relationships with the Chinese government via the various treaties that had accumulated over the centuries. I am not quite sure why that was or how that whole thing worked. I do not have it all figured out. There were so many missionary groups from various countries of Europe and North America. I could list some of them here but the Pentecostal groups are not mentioned. I only know that the Pentecostals were quickly excluded by the mainliners due to various disagreements over theology and church practices. If you ask the mainliners about my great-grandfather they would probably not know what you are talking about. You have to understand that the mainliners have their place but they just don't understand the Pentecostal thing. But this is not the stuff that jokes are made of. We do not want to be in danger of mocking the work of God. This explains why we are not very pleased with Wicked Witch Trina, to put it mildly, for rearranging the yearbook and leaving out some people for no good reason, only bad. I mean, who knew Trina was so bad? That really is bad, bad, bad. All this actually proves is that Trina is a very bad girl. That's all there is to it. Oh wait, stupid Carmen was in charge of the yearbook, wasn't she? Obviously, being a member of the National Honor Society means absolutely nothing, at least not in her case.

Politics

You have a lot of nerve accusing me of associating with Communists and other un-Americans. Ha! Who do you think I am, the U.S. ambassador? His photo is there in the newspaper all the time hanging out with all kinds of un-Americans that I know nothing of. Obviously you are confusing me with someone else as usual. You are working so hard to fit me into your prewritten script but reality does not work that way. Sometimes things do not happen the way you expected. Sometimes we don't know what is going to happen until after it happens, not before. You obviously never go to church because, well, you never know what you are sitting next to there. Churches generally do not screen people by party affiliations or political criteria. The gospel is for "whosoever will" which means pretty much anybody can go to church and there is nothing that you can say about that without sounding just plain silly.

Mix and Match

Contrary to public opinion, I was never linked to or even much aware of the "plantation" mindset of these Southern belles who imagine themselves able to commandeer the lives of their slaves, inclusive even the breeding patterns of the various racial stocks. After all, we are told, do not cattle breeders pick and choose certain cows for breeding based on their physical and behavioral characteristics? The same with dogs. Yes, I suppose if you want to let someone else choose your mate then you can do that. You can be just a docile cow herded here and there by the ring in your nose. It is your choice. But this would probably make you a Moonie. Funny, whatever happened to all the Moonies anyway? We remember seeing the photos of mass marriages years ago in the newspaper, but where are all those families now? One never hears much about the Moonies anymore. They just disappeared into the landscape. Or else you would be taking Derek Prince's book "God Is A Matchmaker" maybe a little too seriously. You have to make some decisions, too. God doesn't want mindless robots either. He wants people who have opinions and make choices and decisions. Why else would He give us free will?

Too Aggressive

Yes, these Jehovah Witness people are just too aggressive. Those horribly brainwashed people keep coming to our house and pounding on our door and leaving their garbage for us to throw in the garbage can. We all know that everything done by the Jehovah Witness cult is just wrong wrong wrong. They have nothing to teach me and I don't want those people messing with my head. They can never do anything right until they find out who Jesus really is. Until then I do not want to hear one word from fat ugly pig Libby Penders and her stupid Jehovah Witness crew.

Anomalies

Genealogical anomalies seem to abound in the historical record regarding missionaries to China. How is it that Bertha Dixon, in her book "Romance of Faith," says that she and her husband William T. Dixon departed from San Francisco in December 1909 and that their return to the United States was occasioned by the death of their two children in 1911? The 1910 census taken in April of 1910 lists Bertha and family present and accounted for at the Training School for Christian Workers in California. How then can the Dixons be in China and California at the same time? I am not sure how this can be. And why is it that no passenger lists appear proving that Bertha and family ever returned to California by sea? Can it be that they never did to go China and that the "Romance" described in her book is all a careful construction of chitter chatter and gossip and things heard of? And why would Azusa Pacific University, which that school later became, list biographical information about her if her book did not have something of value to say? Yes, all these matters for trivial pursuit are everywhere. And if Philip Barth died in China in 1911 how can he be buried in that Los Angeles cemetery?  I like the game of Trivial Pursuit but not as a full-time job. I cannot afford to sit around nibbling on these little clues when I have a job to do. Obviously someone has already solved these little puzzles anyway so I do not need to reinvent the wheel. My services are not needed and I have better things to do anyway. Like my Dad always said, I must use my head for more than just a hatrack.

Dogs

Speaking of dogs, is there some reason I should care at all about what Jeanie Barton Lewis is yapping about over there wherever she is. I don't remember ever having a single class with her in high school so she must have been an All-Dummies student, not that I would know anything about her. She is obviously not related to me so she would not have a clue about my genealogy. I don't appreciate being patched over to Malta and those distant cousins who lived on Southern plantations. Yes, they were so much nicer to black people in their kind and patronizing way, according to the plantation landlord way of thinking. Yes, I am sure that if I had been to the plantation born maybe I would have been nice to my slaves, too. However, I would also be just as sick as your are, and you are sick sick sick. The plantation system is broke so let's not rebuild it either way around.

Streaking

Oh, that was Roy Smeya who told the story about streaking which was a phenomenon of American culture in the 1970s, not that I would know anything about that. I only remember hearing the story about the streaker. When missionaries tell these stories we are supposed to laugh and think this is funny but it really is scary to think that American culture dipped that low over the past century. Fortunately streaking is no longer in vogue and you will probably go to jail if you try to make a statement that way, as the cops have said.

Playing Along

Yes, I am not really the person who originally complained about Italians but this is the role assigned to me so I suppose I might as well say a bunch of stuff about how annoying Italians can be, as if it were all about them. No, last time I checked there are many kinds of people, not just Italians. Just because your parents were Italian, that does not entitle you to "special" treatment for being an IK.

The Chinese Opposition

In 1925 we learn that the New Thought Movement is posing a serious challenge to Christianity in China. "Many who have been abroad have come back having seen the worst side of Christendom. The foundations of faith have been shaken," says our guide, Mr. Zia, describing the organized opposition to Christianity in China. Yes, there are plenty of so-called Christians who don't have a clue. A poem titled "Amen" published in the Weekly Review is no trite devotional. Written by Mr. Tai Tien Chou, it calls for the abolition of the Christian Church and of Christianity. The "Vanguard" magazine has published the manifesto of the Anti-Christian Student Federation, including the names of its constituent organizations. The Federation argues that (1) science and Christianity are incompatible and (2) that Christianity as a tool of imperialism and capitalism is a means of oppressing weaker nations.

Yes, we are not unaware of these challenges to our faith. China's unsaved masses are not unique in opposing the true faith which is the Christian faith. But like so many others foes of the cross throughout the course of human history your resistance is meaningless. There is a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof is death. You can oppose the cross but you will be sorry later. If you embrace the cross now then you will be with us in heaven but if you will not accept Christ as the only hope of salvation then, well, we can't promise you anything in terms of riches and wealth. Basically, you may well have a very good life as a mother of lots of children here on earth and yet roast later because we are not talking about earthly things. Silver and gold have I none, to quote the apostle. But such as we have we give to you. We are talking about spiritual things that you cannot understand without spiritual eyes to see and spiritual ears to hear.

You can't squeeze a whole lot of spiritual truth from a peculiar cultural artifact such as the China yearbook, the product as it is of a certain time and set of circumstances. You have to look to the true source of this Christian hope of which we speak. This is found only in the pages of the Bible. Here is how the Apostle Paul explains the human dilemma in the New Testament, Romans 7:

• 14. We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.
• 15. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
• 16. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.
• 17. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.
• 18. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
• 19. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing.
• 20. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
• 21. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
• 22. For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
• 23. but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
• 24. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?
• 25. Thanks be to God — through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
  

Yearbook

Yes, leafing through the yearbook, suddenly my classmates look so Chinese. I had not remembered them with such slanted eyes and yellowish complexions. And anyway, where did all those Oriental names come from, all those Kondo, Liu, Takeda, etc.? I am not sure why but every yearbook seems to begin with a General Survey of conditions in China, not that I would know much about that. Says that eminent old "China hand" Arthur H. Smith: "The currents and the cross currents mingle confusedly, but they are beneath the surface, and often the only evidence of their existence to the outsider is the emergence of new sandbars, the opening of new and intricate channels, and the partial or complete closing of those which have been long in use." Yes, the constant struggle of the ying and yang perhaps? I am not sure what he means except that China is making progress. Dr. Smith is not shy about expressing his opinion in matters of Chinese government and dissing various Chinese leaders as he sees fit. For example:

• "The aged Sun Chia-nai was a man of weight and importance in his way, but he belonged to an age which had never comprehended the new era in which he could not be classed as a leading figure."
• "Yang Shih-hsiang, Governor-General of the Chihli province, was not a man of great abilities, but a substantial and a useful official."

Dr. Smith reports in 1910 that the talk in China is about the proposal to introduce a constitution. Provincial assemblies have been called to develop this document. Dr. Smith confidently asserts that the provincial assemblies will immediately want to know why the people are being so heavily taxed. "The next step will be an impeachment of the inordinately large number of thoroughly inefficient officials against whom there has hitherto been practically no redress."

Yes, now there's an idea. Let's impeach all these government officials who are so heavily taxing us to pay for all this stuff. Yeah, sure. I hope the lawmakers in D.C. are shaking in their boots. Uhuh!

Yes, clearly the constitution will solve all of China's problems, although Dr. Smith has some trepidations about how it is going to work. "By what processes are these innumerable millions to learn the meaning of that mighty and mystic term, to distinguish between liberty and license, to be schooled in that self-restraint which involves cooperation, the subordination of the present to the future, and especially that of the individual to the community?"

Nevertheless, that will be a glorious day for China when a constitution is finally adopted and ratified.

When that day comes district magistrates will be obliged to give prompt attention to suits-at-law, to decide with some measure of fairness, and the rudiments of a writ of habeas corpus act will emerge, preventing the indiscriminate detention of both guilty and innocent for months and years until all track of the original case has been lost to the public. Whether the reformed code of Chinese law which is promised at an early day is to take cognizance of matters like these, no one seems able as yet to say with certainty, but whether it does or does not, the old tyrannies and disregard of individual right are doomed.

  Yes, that will be a great day indeed.