If only

Yes, there clearly have been times when I was guilty of not working. I certainly cannot say that I am an innocent on that point. However, time keeps running on and I cannot turn back the clock to redo all those things that I did not do right the first time. It is just the way it was. If only this... If only that... So many things I could have done better but didn't. So many things I should not have done but did. If only, if only, if only. All these "if onlys" just make me feel hopelessly guilty and unable to rise above any circumstances ever. My mother used to always say "if only" and then I would just feel hopelessly guilty and lost without hope. If only. Yes, I am guilty of being a sinner and I have faith in Christ for salvation but still there is "if only." My life spun out of control long before I can remember so there is nothing I can do about that, not really any remedies to make everything right. It is just the way it was.