Which Reminds Me

So anyway, not to be mean or anything, but there is really nothing that I would need to discuss with the stupid Santiago family. How did that nasty little porcupine Sandra get promoted so highly? Some things I will just never understand.

Which Reminds Me

The way I see it, Max is a greedy gold-digger who has gone to extraordinary lengths to insert himself in a most self-aggrandizing way into a story that really was not that important in the first place. This is how language groups finally split off into various branches, because there was no reason for me to apologize for attempted civility. And I could try to randomly throw some rocks at some other high school classmates but I don't know enough about them to understand what their problem is in this regard. I never gave it another thought. Language mistakes, sometimes very funny ones, happen all the time. Didn't we often sit around relating various language jokes over dinner, although not that one?  Neither did I ever discuss this non-existent issue with the Santiago idiots. Everyone at college suspected that the Santiagos were deeply weird but I am sure that I never understoofd the half of that. I was never all that interested in socializing with those wacky weird Santiagos, never mind their lies on that point.

Which Reminds Me

I suddenly remember that during high school I read a book titled "The Screwtape Letters," by C.S. Lewis, one of several of his thought-provoking books of Christian philosophy. It was personal reading not related to school. I don't understand why that would be a problem for whoever it was that you sent to scold me for reading that. Perhaps you are one of little sister's worthless contacts because you was never shy about taking up whoever is against me.

Which Reminds Me

Men are so naturally egotistical so perhaps this helps to explain Max's weird attitude. I imagine that Max probably thinks that I liked him but that was not so. I never thought very much about Max. He was just a Sunday School teacher with a prickly porcupine attitude towards white people. It was not my idea to ask him to be our hiking guide. I am not sure how that happened. So if Max is going to be displaying such Mayan/Moslem attitude toward women, obviously I am not going to remember him later. Yes, I do agree that I probably should not have said anything to him given his bizarre display of attitude problem. And yet people often lecture me about how I should try to be more friendly and try talking to people more often. And doesn't big fat Susie talk to everyone in sight and gets away with everything? And this is what happens when I try to do that so obviously I cannot win this game for losing whichever way that goes.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I never asked you to define for me the concept of mountain peaks, that I should be required to apologize for something that I did not say or even think of at the time. Why should I think to ask you the meaning of some basic vocabulary word that really did not seem all that complicated at the time? The context of mountain landscapes clearly indicated my meaning, which dumps stupid Max in some other bucket, which explains why the whole thing was "fixed" to save Max's face at my expense, because he is male and I am not. But even so I won't need Max and his attitude problem for anything. Anyway, it was only later that we learned that some regional expressions can be more politically loaded than we had imagined. So maybe I should just try to never to say anything in any language, thus avoiding all potential complications in future but also losing my voice as an individual, if pretty much anything I might try to say can go so wrong and will be taken wrong anyway even if no such intention was present. So much power is in the tongue, as James of the New Testament says. So this solution of not saying anything and letting them trample me underfoot for no particular reason other than their own selfish pomposity really does not work for me. But I do not see any way to fix that discrepancy in the ordinary course of events. There is no mechanism and/or money available to fix this problem.

Which Reminds Me

Why all this yapping about wheat, winter or otherwise? Who doesn't like bread which is made with wheat? I know that I love bread, especially those warm rolls served at certain restaurants, although I cannot remember the specific incident when I may have been guilty of eating too much bread. Tasted so good at the time. Anyway, that reminds me that during high school I sometimes liked the music of a group called "Bread," even though some of their songs are more silly than they are worth. There is a song about finding someone's diary under a tree and reading its talk of love and then ultimately finding there the name of someone else loved, not me. Yes, well, I only kept a diary for about a year and then my sister found it and read it and made it seem so ridiculous that I never kept a diary after that. I might have written some other journal junk but nothing that I would want to discuss with someone so evil as the little sister from hell and her pack of horrible friends. They think that being mothers will protect them from criticism, and yet if their children are growing up to become a pack of homegrown naked savages so clueless about the rules of good behavior, even that won't protect them forever. Their sinful behavior will have its consequences eventually that we will not be able to protect them from if they can't learn to think for themselves. You must learn to do the right thing or rather not do the wrong thing even when your clueless parents are sound asleep. Ultimately, we cannot protect you from yourself. If you are determined to be your own worst enemy, well, we cannot protect you from that. So obviously if I am going to be writing something in the future, little sister will need to be excluded from my workplace. My work is really none of her business.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, everyone loathes and despises Denny now that he has made football a bad word. Nobody wants to waste their brains on Denny's garbage and I don't blame them.

Also, if I could remember the Hillary jokes that Roy was telling I would consider repeating them but I seem to have forgotten that. Probably the same jokes could be told on any politician of either side.

Of course, parties have their purpose. If you want to run for office you have to work the system but personally I would prefer to enjoy my independence without such political hassles as running for office. I really could not care less about electoral politics. The title of president is not that important to me.

Not that I would want to be royal either. What a useless job that would be to be royal and have to look picture perfect all the time and see my picture in the papers all the time. But I just cannot imagine why I should ever have to worry about that. Royalty was never my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, the way these crazy Scottish people are crowing about nothing much, one would think that I was the Queen of Ireland. Ha ha ha! How ridiculous! Doesn't everybody know that Ireland has no royalty? And even if there was such a thing, who would want such a thankless job as having to rule over those dreary Mackish bulldogs? Ha ha ha!

Which Reminds Me

When I was at Evangel everyone seemed so impressed with the speeches of Denny Duron and then I heard later that he was fired or prosecuted for misbehavior or something. So that is sad but ultimately not my problem. It is not like those people would ever do me any favors. I never did get anything from that. We just did not know at the time about Denny's devilish backhanded doings but whatever. Even so, God tells us to forgive these wicked Duron people who do not know what they are doing.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there are a few other puzzles that I really cannot get a handle on. For example, what are all these Ohio people crowing about, as if they were my slaveholders? I realize that Ohio is a very influential state, but, really, Ohio has not that much meaning to me. I realize that my great-grandfather was born there in maybe 1875 although I am not exactly sure, but, well, that was a long time ago, and anyway he was German. I do not think that Ohio has any hold on me, yet all this crowing of the Ohio makes one imagine that the River Dee runs through Ohio rather than Scotland. This is nothing but confusing to me. I do not think that I can begin to explain how this Ohio confusion was originally created, much less how to untangle it. And also what are the Rockefellers crowing about? I do not think that I have even the slightest connection to West Virginia.

Which Reminds Me

I really could not care less about the mindless opinions of these bootlegging racketeers of New York. I am not interested in discussing the temperance movement with a pack of adolescently challenged drunks in need of a rescue mission. Temperance is, well, a politically loaded word in some circles. We do not need to repeat the mistakes of past generations to know that some legalistic methods just aren't going to work in today's world, realistically speaking. Even so, I think that I should be allowed to make my own personal decision in that regards. So were you planning to put a gun to my head and force me to drink your poison? Personally, I would rather not participate in your bootlegging hypocrisy. Where did you get my name anyway? There was nothing that I needed to discuss with you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is true that our grandmother sometimes gave us licorice sticks to eat. Doesn't everyone like licorice sticks? So? That is not something to discuss with the makers of furniture polish.

Which Reminds Me

Life is too short for me to spend all my time arguing with boring blond bimbos named June from Massachusetts who was a communications major, etc. I don't care what they talk about at their private parties. Just because Pam Hart from South Dakota, June's roommate, was trying to stage a huge argument on various points in contradiction to Dareda and June, that does not mean that I would care to participate in that. I have other things on my mind such as hopefully someday meeting Mr. Right-For-Me and getting married and having my own family and that sort of thing. Or finding a job and a career that will work for me. I have no interest in going to New York to look for June's rising star in the communications industry. There is nothing in New York that I am aware of.

Which Reminds Me

Rhonda Hurd of Michigan lived at the other end of the floor but what Rhonda Heard about that I really could not say. I just want to forget all that garbage.

Which Reminds Me

I do not recall myself ever stealing the worthless ideas of Dareda so I am rather confused as to where that came from, all this crowing from Dareda about her ideas stolen by me. There is nothing that Dareda ever said that I would consider worth repeating. One would only regret the attempt to even halfway repeat that garbage. But I too can remember being somewhat upset when persons stole my brilliant ideas from my brilliant mind although I cannot remember anything specific at the moment. I have forgotten whatever I might have said about that to whomever and do not wish to be reminded of that now. Some things are best forgotten, another reason not to return to the Evangel College looney bin. Don't I just loathe rooty-baggers? So who is stealing whose ideas anyway? Don't we all think that our own ideas are more important than your nothingness? Wasn't Dareda just a nuisance, so horrible? Nobody wanted her garbage. I did not ask for or want that garbage to be thrown at me. What was I supposed to do with that? But perhaps I exaggerate to make a point, although I don't remember much about that.

Which Reminds Me

You are perhaps asking me whether all of the people of Louisiana are as pathetically stupid as this Miriam. Is not the truth of Bill's worthlessness as a future dating prospect self-evident to any half-brained observer of his devious behavior? I really should not need to explain this to anyone, so why does this pathetically stupid Miriam still cling-on to delusions of Bill? Miriam's brain is apparently so scrambled that nothing I can say would satisfy her idiotic hallucinatory machinations. So obviously I should not attempt to say anything at all in response to Miriam's idiotic questions, thus avoiding the inevitableness of not being able to say anything right about that.

Which Reminds Me

There is no way I am taking the fall for your Atlanta dog. Enough said about that. I don't like being backhandedly slammed that way by a certain worthless Atlanta piece of garbage that I dare not name lest I suffer even more horrible consequences. I never had the slightest connection to Atlanta so obviously there was a mistake somewhere.

Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to repeat the same old story of how Cori was telling us how she and some other girls were over at Paul Olson's place and while there she pinched his butt? Are these people losing their minds? Someone else might remember that, maybe the twins. I only heard about that after the fact, not long before we parted ways.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, and also someone once gave me a small jug of maple syrup. I suppose that the machine would also find that useful somehow.

Which Reminds Me

While I was living in California years ago, I once went with Marlene from Arkansas to a concert of Bob Bennett, whose music I liked very much. However, Marlene did not like it at all and had a miserable time. She thought the lyrics were so dumb. In our discussion it became apparent that Marlene does not understand the concept of similes and metaphors. She just interprets everything in an oddly literalistic way so typical of those boring people. So that was further evidence that I don't belong there, just can't understand them. I just don't fit in with those stupid people. Just another reason to leave Marlene in the lost and found to be claimed by the machine.

Which Reminds Me

That was weird how Miriam was so convinced that she had a real relationship ongoing with Bill. Didn't he quite recently bring his new girlfriend to church and introduce her to several people? So why is Miriam still so convinced that he was also serious with her? I don't understand Miriam, nor do I care to hear more about that. It just doesn't matter what Miriam thinks when Bill is obviously not cooperating with her fantasy life.

Which Reminds Me

Many years ago when I was attending a church in Oakland Park and involved in music there, our drummer and soloist was Bill. Bill was such an outrageous flirt. He was always bringing some new girlfriend to church with him and yet also wanting to flirt with me and other girls. I do remember Miriam saying that she had a crush on him. Yes, and so did a lot of other girls. Personally, I would never want to put too much weight on the flirtatious behavior of Bill. That is the way his personality is. He thinks that in order to get me to attend a rehearsal, he has to lay on the flattery and butter me up with compliments. That really wasn't necessary. I wasn't doing that for him.

Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to explain that I cannot explain what happened at the Waffle House restaurant? I can only imagine what outrageous thing Miriam might have said or down there while breakfasting with Susie and perhaps some other people, knowing how Miriam is generally speaking. I only remember that Miriam said something outrageous to Loren Popineau the one time I took her to church with me there. Susie often hints about the Waffle House affair but has yet to provide any clear and factual explanation so obviously I cannot help to clarify that. I also cannot help to explain whatever Miriam said or did while babysitting the little Hoskins brats. Someone has been hinting about that but I just have no idea. I just think that they want more attention than they deserve to get.

Which Reminds Me

Someone forgot to tell those stupid people of Louisiana that I am not even slightly interested in connecting to Miriam's dreary life. Miriam is originally from Louisiana but I don't know every much about that, nor would I care to learn more about that.

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, I seem to remember that Miriam Denham has a lock on the governess position, but I really wouldn't know anything about that. You would have to ask Miriam for those stories because I really don't remember much, just that she was sometimes over at their house supervising them or watching out for them or something.

I really don't think that I need to remind them that I am not a clone of Miriam, so dumping me in that basket just won't stick. Just because Miriam was quick with a snappy joke bordering on the racy side, often saying quite outrageous things when she gets wound up and going, which gets very embarrassing because she goes too far, that does not mean that I would be able to do that, too, or even remember now what she said that was such a problem for them, especially to cause that dreary Buzzing noise, which doesn't seem to be able to differentiate between anyone. How utterly insulting. As if. Well anyway, I was never that "funny." Also, it is quite possible that I was not there at the time so I may be missing something. I would not want to have to repeat some things that Miriam said, but if the police are asking, well....

So whatever happened to Miriam anyway? She dropped off the radar a long time ago but you could always call Susie and Buzz where she is. Maybe they would know something. I really don't care about that. I would only say that I never wanted her horrible job babysitting the horrible Hoskins brats. I don't need that kind of problem.

Which Reminds Me

During my second semester at Evangel College, on a very cold winter morning, some girls came into my room and everyone was talking about some things of future expectation, dating and marriage and the like, and various things were said on such topics. Some of the things that were said were quite similar to things that I already knew because my mother already explained that to me anyway, excluding some other things that they were talking about. So it was nice to see that they, too, have good mothers who already explained that to them anyway, and also have supplemented that with other magazine reading not known to mothers. It is not like they would need me to explain that to them also when they already know that and more. I suppose that one could speculate on whether they had compared notes with my mother or someone else, or whether these things are just universal knowledge that everybody already knows anyway. I think that if I had a daughter, that I too would want to provide a framework of reality for her future life in explaining the facts of life generally speaking. However, I did not feel at that time any urgent need or desire to show them my stuff or to prove my stuff to them. Whence comes this notion that I have to prove myself to someone? I do not recall myself ever applying for the imaginary position of governess to someone else's daughter that I should have to endure some qualifying interview on these personal topics that are no concern of theirs. I think that would be a thankless task so obviously I am not going to do that. I do not feel the need to explain the facts of life to just anyone so that some crazy pack of dogs could more easily exploit and abuse me. I think that whether or not I get married and have a daughter later, still I have a fairly good idea of the facts of life, never mind about the crazy notions expressed about some other people.

Which Reminds Me

I do think that I remember Miriam Denham once saying that she was thinking of someday writing a book but whether she ever did that or not I have no idea. I never saw anything written by Miriam. What sort of book might be produced by her is hard for me to imagine as I really do not know very much about her. It is not like I cannot write my own book independent of anything that Miriam might say about anything. I wasn't thinking about Miriam so many years earlier than that when I mentioned a similar thought of my own of writing a book. I am reserving the right to do whatever I want in terms of writing a book or not irregardless of the machinations of Miriam and her network of cronies of whom nothing really matters in that regard.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what was I thinking about there in ninth grade, asking an uncertified classmate for language instruction? I had not really thought of it that way, but if you are going to put it that way, then also don't ask me for English language tips because then I would have to return that in kind which would only escalate a conflict that was really not necessary or intended that way in the first place. That is how wars get started and we really ought to be smarter than that, or at least I think that I am smarter than that. Speak for yourself.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is really nothing that I would need to discuss with that idiot in the garishly flowered Hawaiian shirt. Everyone knows or should know by now that he is just another one of those French-fried idiots whose vocabulary is limited mostly to various body functions, drinking and dancing, etc., similar to the primitive cave dwellers of present-day France. No capacity for higher reasoning is in evidence there. Sad about having to leave them frying but avenues of communication with them are limited to almost zilch. So just because some Porto Rican Tag-A-Longs are making a hugely noisy commotion, that is not a reason for me to respond to their nonsensical and meaningless chattering. How can we admit these stupid Tagalongs to the Union when they still imagine me their slave property? No slaveholders can be admitted to the Union now that the Civil War has ended. I am just saying. Tell your wicked and repulsive King Tagalong to stick that in his ear. So just because some clueless people imagine me to be their slave property, that is not a reason for me to do something. To my mind, the idiotic opinions of your stupid little Kimmie-Puke do not constitute a quorum for the purposes of doing something about that. I just don't care what those idiots think about me.

Which Reminds Me

Where did all of these Tag-Along Porto Rican dogs come from? I have never been there, Porto Rico or Hawaii, either one, so I really wouldn't know anything about that. I only know that my great-grandparents worked at a church in Hawaii in the 1930s but we here have no interest in replacing the Anderson outreach to the Tagalongs.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, was someone at our high school fired? You are often overheard talking about that. Someone often talks about the firing but I really would not know anything about that. It is not like they would ever tell my anything so obviously I cannot explain anything about this mysterious "firing." So who was fired and why? I have no idea. Stop trying to blame me for something that I don't know anything about. It probably had nothing to do with me. It wasn't my fault.

Which Reminds Me

Why all this yapping about a More-Gun? The only Morgans that I can think of are the most worthless idiots who do not deserve anything more from me. I do not want to be seeing Dareda's stupid face painted all over the walls everywhere I go. I just thought that she was weird and I won't be returning to Evangel so I don't have to see her stupid face across the hall every day. There is nothing "more" to say about that. I never buy country junk.

Which Reminds Me

You are rather late, you know, in finally exposing the deceitful wickedness of Airplane Dog Dareda. I don't see a need to cover up the wickedness of these airplane garbage people at my expense. Am I some sort of goddess that I should sacrifice my true identity to redeem a hideous fag named Dareda? Thus, I don't see a need to discuss that any further. I think that our pathetically stupid RA, Amy from Ohio, should be finding out who said what first before casting all of the aspersions onto me. I didn't plan that session in the first place and don't remember saying much. Certainly Dareda's careless lack of attention to details proves that Embry probably never built a plane that could fly, so we can depend on Embry to build us a useless monstrosity, is how that looks to me.

Which Reminds Me

Why don't you just ask Katherine why she thinks that her Sicilian identity has Persian roots? I really wouldn't know anything about that. I might have overheard something to that effect, about how she has a common bond with the Persians amongst us for that reason. But I really wouldn't know anything about the Persian-Italian connection and why they call themselves the "Aryans." I only remember the story of the Three Wise Men from the Bible, how some actually indefinite number of wise men from the East followed a newly appeared star and arrived at Jerusalem and finally Bethlehem. There are various theories about these wise men and where they came from. Some theorize that they were from Persia and schooled in the mysteries of Zoroastrianism but that is only one of many theories. I really would not know very much about that.

Which Reminds Me

We think that the birds are all well and good in their places, but the way that these Roman Italians crow about the eagle pictured on their national flag, it does make us wonder to what country have these people pledged their allegiance. When I pledge my allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, I think of the stars and stripes, the star-spangled banner, Old Glory so to speak. When these Roman-Italians pledge their allegiance to the symbolic eagle of America and Italy, we are reminded that a picture of an eagle is prominently displayed on the Mexican flag. So what is this artificially constructed Roman republic to which Katherine has so carefully contrived to pledge her allegiance? It is true that the Eagle has landed on the moon, but these Mexican-Italian witches really cannot claim the credit for that. If they were in charge of the government, that probably never would have happened. They think only of their own Italian race and show not much interest and in anyone else beyond themselves and their own boastful glory. Perhaps I exaggerate for purposes of making these points clear, but at least that is the way it seems to me.

Which Reminds Me

If you had attended high school with us, you would have noticed that Katherine was one of the weirdest, stupidest people there. She was often known to break forth into strange confrontational monologues that were entirely nonsensical. There was evidently always a high level of anger in Katherine's blankly idiotic mind, whatever that meant. I really couldn't care less about Katherine's serious mental problems. I was not a trained psychologist so I really had no idea how to respond to that.

Which Reminds Me

It so happens that German writer Margaret Weppner in the 1800s commends the English and German people of San Francisco while omitting any mention of the Italian people of San Francisco. Well, tough luck. Is that a logical reason for the Italian people of San Francisco to stage a toddler-style temper tantrum and attack me so rudely? I do like pizza to eat so I would like to retain the right to buy pizza whenever I want. That said, there seems to be something wrong with this picture but I really would not be able to comment more specifically on that. I highly suspect that I do not yet have all the pieces of that puzzle even now.

Which Reminds Me

During the first semester of ninth grade I began to notice that some of the people in our classroom were uttering strange words unknown to me and which seemed to lack any context with which to guess at their meaning. Sometimes several of these mysterious words would be strung together in a nonsensical way. Yes, I probably should have not said anything and just quietly searched the Spanish dictionary where I certainly would have found them, as I learned later. However, at the time I had not imagined that. So I asked someone in the classroom what a certain couple of words meant and the answers were rather shocking to me. Ok, so I learned early not to ask any questions and to say nothing more on that subject to anyone else because they will do something weird with twisting that around and attaching that to something else of which I am not quite sure what. Anyway, I am really am not interested in discussing this subject further. Even so, the Portuguese excuse will not work for you. I am just saying. You just don't have that many languages in your bilingual skill set.

Which Reminds Me

Truly, you do give me too much credit for omniscience and manipulation of data. I really did not know that my Dad had an uncle named Sam, much less anything any relatives living in the Bay Area. I only knew of my mother's side of the family who lived in Northern California. Needless to say, Cori has been fired from any connection to me. I will not be accepting any more camping invitations from those dreary people. I can never know what garbage they are trying to attach to me behind my back unbeknownst to me so obviously it would be dangerous for me to be associated with them. At least I know that now, even if I did not know it then. Hmmm. I could say something similar about those nasty Southern Coneheads, especially that trashy cheater Irene, so rich and yet so pathetically stupid. Obviously, the trashy Boyds ought to be fired from office because they only got where they are by cheating with stupid Conehead Irene, not because they ever learned to speak proper Spanish.

Which Reminds Me

One book that I did read during high school was the novel by Taylor Caldwell, "The Glorious Physician," which attempts to novelize the story of Luke, the physician who wrote two books of the New Testament as letters to his friend Theophilus. The book attempts to work in a lot of historical information about ancient civilization during the Roman Empire but the author's modernist outlook gives short shrift to the gospel story . After all, don't we all know that ancient Roman civilization was horribly wicked, the Roman people brutal and cruel? So why give so much attention to the Romans? Obviously we wouldn't want to go back to that. The whole point of Christianity was to transform the society from the inside out, by the renewing of minds, one person at a time, and not to allow ourselves to be molded by society. We are not to be conformed to this world, a form that is fading and will soon pass away.

Which Reminds Me

All of these things do make me wonder now what was contained in the book written by Helen Calkins that was never published, perhaps describing her childhood in India. I don't know how you expect me to comment on a person of whose existence I was not aware until quite recently. I just have no idea what that would be about.

Which Reminds Me

One book that I did read during high school was "The Diary of Anne Frank," which had been recommended or mentioned by someone. So she falls in love with the only male available to her at the time, which does not show much discretion, you were saying. You were telling me that the lack of morality displayed in her writings proves that she deserved to be thrown into the ovens to die, unlike the chaste and self-sacrificing Corrie Ten Boom. Hmmm.... For one thing, just reading this book does not make me Jewish and also does not mean that I would share in the deeds of indiscretion described verbally in the book. Also, are you trying to say that many trashy sluts are surviving because they did not verbalize or express their misdeeds in writing so as not to get caught? Or that the authors of all trashy books ever written are automatically caught and thus killed? Or that that was the reason she died? Or that persons innocent and unaware of the misdeeds of others did not also perish in the ovens? The rain falls alike on the just and the unjust, as the saying goes. Sometimes it is just the system. Sometimes the system gets broken. That is a deep question for shallow minds such as mine. I really wouldn't know.

Which Reminds Me

At my first job after college, at Vida Publishers, one day someone called and asked for one of my bosses, Harold Mintle, and I told the person that he was "out to lunch" at the time. My supervisor, Carol Long overheard me saying that, laughingly scolded me about that, saying that such a thing might be interpreted as that I was telling someone that Harold Mintle is crazy. Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way. I was just thinking that he was out of the office, having gone to lunch. But yes, I suppose that some snarky person could make hay with that. So I should probably not say this and not say that. And I suppose that the list would be endless of things that I should not say if I have to worry about what some snarky person might do with that.

Which Reminds Me

Gail Lee and myself were amongst a group of people involved in a canoe trip down the rapids of the Kings River which is located in the Sierra Mountains of California. That was organized by Cori. Oh, was that supposed to mean something? I really wouldn't know. I hadn't thought of that. I wasn't on the organizing end of things. I always thought that Gail was such a babyish person, so obviously you are describing Gail, not the brilliance of me. Perhaps Gail's babyish traits are a family problem. I really wouldn't know anything about the Lee family's personal problems. Just one miscellaneous photo from the family box is not going to trigger much of a memory in me. Maybe someone else in the family would remember something. That is scary to think that these unknown Asian people are attacking in the deeps, unbeknownst to us. I already have enough problems without all of their garbage. So whatever.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to recall that Gail Lee also lived down the hall from me that first year. I think that she was rooming with Lisa and that Theresa lived next door to her. Or something like that. I also don't remember very much about Gail Lee. She was a rather sullen person who lived in some other La-La land and also disappeared after the first year although she did make an appearance during a certain camping trip that was organized by Cori. Our notes on reality don't seem to compare at all. No one ever mentioned whether she had a cousin named Jennifer or whether either of them have any connection whatever to the mysterious "Lee" photo in the family connection, an unknown Asian person. I really wouldn't know anything about that or them.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, Mother Theresa was such an amazingly self-sacrificing and wonderful person. Who could possibly think of competing with that? She has the Nun's prize already wrapped up, incontestably, so obviously it would be useless to think of trying to get anything better the Nun way.

Of course, the only Theresa that I can remember from college was the one who was dating Michael Beals, who is now our college president. But he didn't marry Theresa, who lived down the hall from me the first year of college but later disappeared from view. I don't know what happened to her. I really don't remember very much about her or whatever she might have said about him and their relationship. I only noticed more recently that Michael Beals married someone else whose name is Faith and is now the college president.

Ok, so, whatever. I really wouldn't know very much about that. I never claimed to know everything.

Which Reminds Me

Well, poor little Rhonda, did nobody think of giving her a college scholarship, only to her two brothers? I really wouldn't know. No one ever mentioned that to me. I suppose that the Caribbean would be such a horrible place to have to grow up, but I really cannot imagine that. Ok, so you are saying that she married into the dreary Tease family. Whatever. I don't think that I am missing anything important there. I never liked them that much that I would care what they are doing over there in their private La-La land of the Southern Cone. If they were Mexicans we could understand about the salsa and chips but if they are going to behave like Southern Cone tribals then we really are not interested in more of that internal political stuff that has no application here.

Which Reminds Me

To summarize, yes I do remember hearing that David Wilkerson gave full scholarships to the two Hittenberger boys in Haiti because he was impressed with the way that they helped him with some type of campaign that he held there. So that's nice. We all heard this story about them. Obviously they cannot give full scholarships to everybody. Nobody was expecting anything more from them. They were just very lucky at the time. There is really nothing else that anyone needs to say about that. That was a long time ago.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I was not aware during college that California was being invaded by Kansas and also Ohio. Those Kansas prairie dogs certainly do have sharp little teeth and they are always chewing on the furniture which probably explains why there is not much left there of the way things were. Most of the people who originally supported by parents are dead now. Only a handful of them are still living. Many other people moved away. So there is really nothing there worth mentioning in terms of the churches.

Which Reminds Me

When we were living in El Salvador and wanted to go shopping downtown where you have to bargain the price of something we always knew or were told that they would probably charge us a higher price than the natives because we have white skin and thus we are automatically assumed to be rich even though we are really only sort of middle class or rather lower middle class. So, whatever. We already know that on the scale of relativity we might seem to rich to some of those poor people who live so sparsely in overcrowded conditions. We also already know that we cannot be properly categorized with those few rich people who own vast fortunes and properties there. We really don't need to be reminded that we don't really fit into the circles of the vastly wealthy. We already know that. We know who we are even if you clueless Spanish people don't know much.

Which Reminds Me

When the Bible talks about the house of David, I do not need to explain that is not a reference to the Wilkerson family, of whom nothing is known. We assume that probably David Wilkerson had a family as do all of those high-flown traveling preachers but we have no personal connection whatever to them, no knowledge whatever of their personal identities outside the limelight. I don't know why I was never interested in working for Teen Challenge, which harbors a variety of delinquents. David gave generous scholarships to the Hittenberger boys who helped him in Haiti, but we weren't expecting him to do us any favors. There was a showing of the movie in El Salvador but David never made any personal appearance there at the time we were there so we really wouldn't know anything about how that happened or why we are constantly reproached for not getting the money. Whatever. Anyway, didn't that David died in a violent car crash? So obviously the Bible had a different David in mind.

Which Reminds Me

When I was eight years old in the third grade and living in Mexico, and attending the American School there, we had a set of books called Childcraft which seemed very fun to read because they would explain how to do various things. In one place I read about how you can have a party for any reason whatever, it doesn't have to be somebody's birthday, you can just have a party to have some friends come over and play various games. The book said to make invitations for your friends so I did that. However, the book did not saying anything about telling my parents first. I handed out my invitations to various people and at the appointed time for the party several people arrived for the party. My mother was doing the ironing and obviously not prepared for any party of which I had forgotten to inform her and so they were all sent home. Some people scolded me very severely for that. So, yes, that was another one of my dumb ideas. Later I was telling my mom how I felt so bad about that and wondering if I could ever get over that feeling of guiltiness and my mom said that probably when I get older I will probably be able to laugh about that silly thing that I did when I was eight years old, which only halfway helps because many other very serious people will never let me forget that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward, myself being confused for one of those nasty Lang sisters. Why do I still have Deborah's face somewhere in my pictures? Everyone says that she is so mean and throws horrible temper tantrums and tyrannizes her little sister Connie. At least that was what Connie said the one time that she came to talk to me. I really wouldn't know. Or maybe it was my sister who said that I am not nearly as mean as Debbie was to her little sister, but she probably forgot that she said that. She never fails to take any opportunity to side against me on whatever point but I shouldn't say more about that. Anyway, I don't think that I know those people anymore. I haven't seen them for so many years that I really couldn't careless if I never see them again in this lifetime. We had to abandon them to the ghettos of Long Beach. There is a reason why they only complain and whine about every little thing, which is because they are not leadership. They are just dull and boring, rather dingy sheep who cannot be trusted for anything.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I do remember that Miss Murphy was my fourth grade teacher. I don't know why I kept saying that she was my third grade teacher when it was actually fourth grade that I had Miss Murphy as my teacher. She might have been someone else's third grade teacher but as far as I am concerned she was my fourth grade teacher. I don't quite remember how that error got stuck in my brain. Miss Murphy was the teacher who always chided me about staring out the schoolroom window. I was supposed to keep my head down and concentrate only on my schoolwork.

Which Reminds Me

So you are perhaps telling me that in high school there was some sort of subliminal ballgame going on behind the scenes. Oh, I didn't know that. I never noticed that so I really cannot help you with that. I can easily imagine that plenty of things were happening that I was not aware of. I never claimed to know everything, unlike some other people I could name.

Which Reminds Me

Sometimes I think that I hear the obnoxious Ashcraft sisters nattering in the background. The Ashcraft family are some of my parents' dear friends and financial supporters of their missionary career so obviously I cannot be expected to say what I really think about those dreary people of San Diego. Because of their financial dole, they considered themselves my slave masters. Even so, I do not recall them ever doing anything helpful to me. They attend a Baptist church now so they really don't matter anymore. To me they are just another nuisance. I don't think that I owe them anything at all.

Which Reminds Me

I remember someone talking about some friend of my parents who campaigned in some sort of Mrs. America pageant but I don't remember who that was or any other details. You would have to ask my parents if they remember something because I really don't.

Which Reminds Me

I do have a vague memory from childhood of being with my family at a state fair and there was a beauty queen there and maybe someone made a comment on her strangely backless outfit. I really don't remember any details, not even her name, just that we saw her standing there wearing her tiara and sash, holding a bouquet of flowers and talking to some people. But normal people such as ourselves do not dare to dress that way while on the streets going about our business so it is hard to imagine why anyone would want to be a beauty queen even if you could qualify.

Which Reminds Me

In regards to your offer to sell me some arms, I am sorry that I will not be able to comply with your demands. It was your decision to shoot me first and ask questions later, so now that I am as good as dead there is nothing that I can share with you even if I had wanted to. I am as good as dead already by your countrified definition so your line of questioning is just more vanity of vanities blowing in the wind. If you really had a good faith desire to negotiate with me, shooting me first would be a ludicrous way to proceed. Let that be a lesson to you.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, everyone in America admires the heroism of Corrie Ten Boom. I read several of her books myself. She didn't plan to be a heroine or a famous celebrity; she was just doing the right thing at the right time and place. She wasn't pretending to be spiritual. She was doing what she saw to be her Christian duty, basically. So? No one can plan to emulate that, but it is an interesting story to read among many more.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it does blur the picture to see these Confederate Baptists pretending to represent us. I never liked the Confederate Baptist Bells and Reeses so much that I would be willing to sign my life away to them. Well, we may agree on some points of religion, but when it comes to some other social and political matters, I, for one, would prefer to speak for myself. The ballot box only has room for one vote at a time. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

During high school, myself and several other girls were invited to try out for the competitive girls' baseball team. So at the appointed time we all lined up to bat and one by one we were given a chance to strike the ball. I was made the first one up and when I struck out, meaning that I swung the bat three times but could not connect to the ball. All the others who followed after me just walked. They let Kathy pitch her off-center balls and then just walked. Yes, just think, if I had known ahead of time that Kathy was such a lousy pitcher, I too could have just spared myself the effort and also walked. I mean, really, why bother? It that is the best that the CIA can pitch to me, there is nothing that I can do to help them. Perhaps I hadn't been briefed ahead of time on the lousiness of Kathy as pitcher. Yes, I really don't know what meant.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was rather lame of Marty to complain about police harrassment and being arrested for getting on the train without a ticket. It would seem rather logical to assume that persons wishing to ride the train would make sure they know where to buy tickets and have their tickets in hand before they just go hopping on train cars, but she always was known to be a ditzy motormouth who was feasibly too busy yapping to actually stop and look for directions. That happened in France, but really country matters not. Buy train ticket before boarding seems like basic common sense to me.

Which Reminds Me

So basically with mineral rights I have this huge rock wrapped around my neck. I can't live with it and I have no way of getting rid of it. So it is just a miserable situation, obviously.

Which Reminds Me

I am not sure from whence comes this fantasy that I would want to hobnob with the wealthiest people of the world. I do not recall myself ever saying anything resembling that. I cannot say that I never watched an episode or two of the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous on television but, honestly, I doubt that I could enjoy all that luxury all that much, having to keep track of so many bills. There is really only so much that one person needs for living, maybe a house and comfortable furniture and food, a car and a little spending money for gasoline. Which is why it really grates when these Vodo witch people try to classify me as having inherited wealth as opposed  to themselves deserving all because they are working class. I never had all that much inherited wealth to speak of. Even if I had possession of my mother's mineral rights, that would not be classified as inherited wealth. That would be an investment expense that may nor may not ever pay a nickel in return. It is very much a long shot to put any faith in mineral rights. And even if someday they did find oil there, so what? The royalties might not amount to all that much, just a small trickle of money from natural gas is maybe enough to stock up on cat food, assuming that we had a cat, but we don't because I am allergic to cats, so anyway I'm just saying, mineral rights are nothing that I could or should bank my future on. So obviously I must work and collect a paycheck. But that is hard to do with so many guns aimed at my head. It makes it hard for me to concentrate. The first mistake I make, they will just throw me out the window. So the other half of my head says that I should just sit here and wait until they run out of bullets and then hopefully I will be able get on with my life without further interference from them.

Which Reminds Me

That was lame, your feeble attempt to attach me to the Webbers of Arkansas. I don't even remember that much about them. I might have been introduced once or twice but that won't get you very far with me given the sad story of what you were doing behind the scenes. Nothing that I ever did can compare to that.

Which Reminds Me

This script goes on to comment on a college classmate of the Oriental variety, Grace from Hawaii. Yes, don't these Orientals seem such sweet China dolls and yet when you open them up by the back door, out comes such a raging stream of bitterness and anger. Who knew this was all their Oriental problem?

Which Reminds Me

I have no personal interest in the state of Ohio. Interesting that if you parse out the name of that state, as O-HI-O, you get a couple of Oh!'s and also the abbreviated name of the state of Hawaii. Makes you wonder if there is a special relationship there between Ohio and Hawaii. And, anyway, no one ever said whether Bob Dole's family planted the original pineapple plantation in Hawaii, the Dole brand name so evocative of tropical fruits in cans, but no one ever mentioned whether Bob was from Ohio. I would never have any reason to think of these things. And what happens if you translate the name of O-HI-O into Spanish? Well, you get O-HOLA-H, which sounds sort of like the name of the famous harlot whose travesties, and her sister O-HOLIBA-H's, are described in Ezekiel 23. Yes, what a horrible thought! What mature adults would have thunk up this horrible scenario? But it is in the Bible, nevertheless. How could I even imagine that, much less attach that to Ohio and Hawaii and pineapples? I must have lost some marbles somewhere.

Which Reminds Me

Those lousy planners told me that I would have a well-paying job and plenty of money for travel and whatever else I might want to do, and they are the ones who decided that I must be single and have no family of my own to worry about. That wasn't my idea. So where is this job? Why does everything always go wrong for me? It's like I am hexed. Where is all this money that is supposed to pay for my life? You can't just pull the rug out from under me. How rude.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there was quite a bit of cheating going on in our high school classrooms. Everybody knew that. I was never one of those cheaters. However, I did not consider it my job to turn in the cheaters on tests. That was the job of the teacher or test monitor, and often cheaters were caught by them. However, I imagine that plenty of cheaters got away with it, their little cram sheets ingeniously tucked away in a shirt sleeve. Just look at Patty, for example. Well, you are asking me, which Patty? There were at least three Pattys that I can think of in our high school class. But I was always too busy working on test questions in my own studious way to worry about whether or not one of those Pattys was cheating or not. You figure it out. I cannot be expected to sacrifice myself to the duties of test police when I already instinctively know that such a role would only invite even more negative retributions. I already have enough problems.

Note: Why don't you ask Ann Campbell yourself whether she was a cheater? I wouldn't have the foggiest idea. I was never that young that I would be able to monitor people at other grade levels.

Which Reminds Me

Whence comes this myth that I never made any mistakes or said some things wrong now and then? I think that I am a human being and thus allowed to make some mistakes now and then. I wish I were perfect but to claim so would be stretching the truth just a bit. There are some persons who believe themselves sinless and then there are those who know that Christian justification is by faith, not works, lest anyone should boast. No, we must not boast of being perfect. Our faith is in the forgiveness of sin, not the entire absence of sin. Those who imagine themselves sinless by comparison to some other person are not wise, as the Bible says. We must not imagine that being better than another puts us above reproach. Commending yourself only proves that you really don't understand with Christianity really means. No one is righteous, no, not one, as the Bible says.

2 Corinthians 10:12-18: "For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding. But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the sphere which God apportioned to us as a measure, to reach even as far as you. For we are not overextending ourselves, as if we did not reach to you, for we were the first to come even as far as you in the gospel of Christ; not boasting beyond our measure, that is, in other men's labors, but with the hope that as your faith grows, we will be, within our sphere, enlarged even more by you, so as to preach the gospel even to the regions beyond you, and not to boast in what has been accomplished in the sphere of another. But he who boasts is to boast in the Lord. For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends."

Which Reminds Me

Anyway, there is no way that some Roman riff-raff mob is going to tell me who I have to marry or not. When will these yappy people go away and stop bothering me? I don't even like them so why would I want any part of their so-called big deal.

Which Reminds Me

I do remember that my Dad had an uncle named Ben but he is dead now and, anyway, I don't remember anything about him, just that he existed. His second wife was a lady from the Dominican Republic but I never met her. I imagine that she is probably dead now, and anyway there were no Spanish children in the family, certainly not mine. Reading through great-grandmother's diaries, we learn that Uncle Ben and his first wife had a daughter named Lori and a son named Benjamin but of those persons' lives I know nothing at all, only that they lived for some time in San Francisco. Oh, I didn't know that. Even so, I am not aware of any "big deal" in regards to Uncle Ben so obviously I cannot be expected to comment about nothing.

Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to repeat the same old stories from when I was eight years old and living in Mexico? One time we were at the beach and some of us children were jumping waves in the surf and a huge wave knocked me over and I rotated all the way around, my fingers touching the sand, and then back around and landing on my feet, and then I was standing there as if nothing had happened. Just because Kent was facing some other direction at the moment and did not notice that, that does not mean that it did not happen the way I described and not as Kent is fond of pretending. I can't believe he would still want to argue about that minor detail. I know what happened to me.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, what a joke, trashy foul-mouthed Cori pretending to be a good mother. Ha! It's not like the scummy lowlife Nippers could not know about that. They are just obfuscating to cover their own butts. So obviously that's the only thing they care about, covering their own butts. And doubtless that will produce more of the same. So ho hum! I am leaving this planet so they are not my problem now. Cori was often heard spewing F-bombs, much like that F-bomb idiot from high school who went into the military and was working at the Pentagon. Was Thomas a co-worker of Cori's older brother who also worked at the Pentagon at the time? It does make you wonder. Why is the military so interested in making our lives miserable?

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I remember reading Hemingway's "The Old Man and the Sea," which was required reading in high school. So that was well-written although I suppose that some people would be tempted to just dismiss that as only some poor Cuban fisherman dying of hunger in ragged clothing whose rustic boat happened to drift a bit too far out to sea and then underwent a huge struggle to catch a huge fish and tow it back to shore, somehow escaping with his life. So why should we sympathize with that, you are asking me. And yet, all I can say is I don't know. It is true that Hemingway was a gifted writer who did have a way of making the story interesting somehow even if otherwise no one would have given those poor people a second thought. They are just the laborers of the earth. But that is one of the functions of literature, to bring these things to our attention if only for a short time and in an appropriate way. And also you thought that perhaps in reality few poor laborers are really going to seek such enormous challenges to their limited skills and resources. Most are content to stay within the limits of their territorial waters to bring home the average fish needed for ordinary consumption and marketplace demands. Yes, mostly it is the wealthy sportsmen with huge boats and plenty of money to spare who are the ones out there in the deeper waters trolling for that really big fish. So was Hemingway really writing about a Cuban fisherman or was he autobiographically describing his own fishing activities? Yes, possibly, so there's an interesting point, but I have no idea. That would be a subject of debate for another time. I am really not equipped to take that on at the spur of the moment. There is another deep subject for shallow minds.

Which Reminds Me

The truth is that I cannot possibly succeed. I must fail at everything. If I were to happen to succeed at something, then I would have 10,000 members of the nasty Little Sisters League dragging me down, screaming at me, trashing everything that I say or do. It is better than I just sit here and fail. Only my failure will make them happy.

Which Reminds Me

Many of these clues point to a certain high school classmate of mine but I really can't say very much about that. She might be able to provide you with much more information than I could on the subject of Pollo, but I can't tell you what was in her head. Why don't you just ask her yourself what she was thinking? I really wouldn't know anything about that. Just because I sat behind her in the alphabetical order of things, that does not mean that she was ever forthcoming with information. She imagines herself living on a higher plane of existence than myself. I would rather not say anything that might provide them with more material with which to ridicule and humiliate me even more, and pretty much everything I say or do seems to serve that purpose well enough. I already have enough problems without you-all driving me crazy.

Which Reminds Me

One of the creepiest things that ever happened to me many years ago was the time when I was asleep and I felt something crawling on my legs and I jumped out of bed and turned on the light and threw back the sheets and there was a cockroach. Ick! I shudder to think of it. Come to think of it, I think I did mention this to someone, maybe Pam. Of course, I imagine that she would have used that too. These people have no discretion or sense of anything being confidential so I can't trust them for anything. Nothing is confidential with them. Everything is just out there on the Internet so I have to be very careful what I say or do not say. And even when I don't say anything sometimes they try to fill in the blanks with imaginary information. So obviously I can't trust them for anything.

Which Reminds Me

You certainly are a clever snake. You have advised your minions that my words are my seeds of power and so if they eat and devour all my words then nothing of mine can grow or develop. I will be nothing but another meaningless body with no power. So that explains why I sometimes hear my words mangled into nearly unrecognizable forms. And yet the question remains, are you a Roman Catholic or an insectoid creature? The answer to this question is not clear. You clone of Raymond, you sit there spewing F words as a mindless automaton. Only later do we learn that you were on the CIA payroll. This is an alarming confluence of factoids. Why would our own U.S. government be funding such religiously anti-Protestant activities in defiance of law-abiding peaceful U.S. citizens such as myself? The answers to these questions are not clear.

Which Reminds Me

Years ago when I was looking for a journalism job I sent my resume to many newspapers. I remember that once or twice I got a call from some place in North Carolina but I never did answer that call. I don't know why not. A job in North Carolina couldn't have been any worse than what I ended up with. But it is probably too late now to reconsider that possibility. Too many years gone by, too much water under the bridge.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, if I had a choice between a job or Jeb, I certainly would choose a job. I don't have any use for some nasty politician who is obviously playing the field against me for some mysterious reason even though I was not even aware of his existence until more recently. I do not want to be reminded of high school. I want to get on with my life and forget about the misery of high school, and not be constantly tripped up by all those annoying cliquey people who are making some silly points for no particular reason, just because they hate me. Just because you hate me, that is not a reason for me to do something. I just want a job that does not involve electoral politics. I really don't care that much who wins. I think that each candidate should get their fair share of publicity and then we will see how people vote on election day and then go from there.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is no place for the gallows here. How do we politely tell the Gallows that we just thought their cousin was really nothing, just a foul-mouthed whiner. I always just ignore that type of person because I really don't care. Not to be mean or anything, but there really never was any reason to say about the gallows and their stateside in-laws.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is no way that you can salvage Regina. She is no Queen, just someone else's nasty little sister, not mine. I already have enough problems of my own without adopting someone else's nasty little sister. Even if Regina's own cousin were some vulgar skunky dull and boring candidate for president and shooting from the bushes, none of that could salvage my low opinion of Regina. To me it just looks like Stone corpses are hanging from the gallows. We have no use for the gallows here because we do not nor ever did hang with them.

Which Reminds Me

Ok, so that's almost interesting. Has anyone asked Rose Pierce Stone whether Barbara Pierce Bush is her cousin of some degree? Whether or not it is so, I really couldn't care less. This point is not relevant to my life, and also I would not want to feel myself forced to express any actual opinion of their sons. All I can really say is that they are not my problem.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that is sort of awkward, the trashy foul-mouthed Brooks sisters pretending to have anything intelligent to say about anything. Back in college days we did not know the extent of the Brooks' wickedness, but now that their bad behavior is evident everywhere, we know that probably the Brooks family would feel more comfortable hanging out with the trashy broads of ORU because certainly they don't belong here. Marion and Marilyn were twins. Marion has a lot of nerve accusing me of anything when she has made such a wreck of her own life. I really don't need to say anything about that and allude to that now only because you asked.

Which Reminds Me

When I was out and about a few years ago I remember hearing David's voice out there talking about how he cannot think of going into the ministry because of his wife, who is apparently some dippy French bimbo specializing in racy French literature. That is a sad story but I really don't want to hear more about that. David himself always was hyper-legalistic so he should know that if he had wanted to go into the ministry he should have thought about that before he got married because marriage is forever, or should be. Once you tie the knot, nobody wants to hear more about your sad 'what if' stories. You did that to yourself and it can't be undone.

Which Reminds Me

I do remember that when we were in El Salvador my mother told me a story about one of the pastors or assistants who was caught in, let's just say, a compromising position with a woman on the church staff to whom he was not married. My mother said something about the details of the situation but I do not remember the names of the persons who were involved in that scantily clad affair. Some of those people just all look alike to me. I wouldn't really be able to point out those two individuals from the crowd so I don't see that there would be anything for me to say about that. It was the church's business to discipline them in a way appropriate way to the positions of responsibility which they had failed to fulfill according to the rules adopted by the church. There is really nothing that I can add to that.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, there is really nothing that I would need to discuss with a blood-sucking Transylvanian colonist vampire named Max. I would not be able to explain that to myself even if I had tried. Some words must have gotten jumbled in my head because I don't exactly remember how that happened. When my mother explained to me what I had said, I was saying: Oops! And thinking that I must have an acute case of foot-in-mouth disease somehow. How could I be so stupid? Anyway, I was only trying to be friendly, to say hello, but really I would not want him to accidentally think that I ever liked him that much, and after that, even more NOT.

Which Reminds Me

I seem to remember that I finally did hang up the phone when the telemarketing surveyor's questions were getting too, shall we say, fresh. If that is what you call modern and edgy, then I don't need it.

Which Reminds Me

No one mentioned whether Dareda is related to the famous airplane makers. It is hard to imagine that some brilliant airplane makers could have produced such a horrible monstrosity as this obnoxious Dareda, who spewed poison all over the place. I might have flown on airplanes from time to time but I have no knowledge of the inner workings of their family problematics of their aircraft.

Which Reminds Me

That was very awkward to be listening to someone who almost sounds like the devil himself. He says that he wants to disassemble my brain and tear me into little pieces. What a scary thought. Clearly there is no love lost there. But we already know from the Bible that the devil is a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. So just proving that you have the design and ability to destroy my body proves nothing but your own wicked identity. But your hatred is no secret. Obviously I would have to die rather than submit to that. And yet I cannot schedule my own funeral just yet. I might need to live a while longer. So there is a conundrum, the now and the not yet. I am leaving this planet but my departure time is not yet.

Which Reminds Me

I am suddenly reminded of a time when I was in the journalism class working on school newspaper and my co-assistant editor Kathy reached over and hit me on the stomach and made some comment about my stomach not being entirely flat. So that was weird. I just shrugged and made no reply because my mind just goes blank when Kathy says these weird things. I wasn't that fat but neither was I ever that thin.

And then many years later Stacy at church made a similar comment about my stomach protruding, not being entirely flat, and asked if I was or had ever been pregnant. My answer is no, that I am just perhaps a bit overweight. I think I said that if I were pregnant that would be the second time in history. But, Ok, so maybe my numbering could have been a bit off. Anyway, my point was that no, I was not pregnant then, nor had I ever been pregnant. So enough said about that. What is wrong with these people, that they are so fixated in their fault-finding that they would even invent something to accuse me of, and even try to fabricate the non-existent proof of something that never happened? Their desperation is very annoying.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that I say should thanks for the diploma. I have it stored in a drawer somewhere. It may have some important signatures on it. So that was an accomplishment of a sort. Of course, I already know that a diploma is not necessarily an automatic passport to career heaven. The rest of it is all up to me. I cannot expect the college to hand me a career on a silver platter. I have to go out there and get my own job and make my own path in the career world. Colleges often have an alumni office that offers contact information but that only means that I have to make the effort to go and look for that and then send out my cover letter and resume and then hope to get a favorable response or not. Sometimes the college reputation also helps and sometimes not. So it is just all up to me.

Which Reminds Me

Truth be told, I did not invite Dareda and Company to stop by my room and talk to me. They are the ones who barged in uninvited and proceeded to vomit their poison all over the walls. What was I supposed to do about that? I am often told that I should be more friendly, so I tried to listen politely. But, yes, some of their subject matters were rather problematic from an ethical point of view. There is not always a written statutory law to explain in so many words something that is a bad idea all things considered. Truth be told, I never did like Dareda all that much. I always thought she was sort of weird and self-absorbed in an immature sort of way. I wasn't going to verbalize that but since she turned out to be even more horrible than I had imagined, I find myself obliged to return fire for fire. I would not want to find myself in the position of having to defend her and her big fat mouth, obviously, which is another reason why I resented being attacked later by Pam and Company. Why is it that some of the most obnoxious people I ever met are from the Dakotas? I am sure that I don't know the half of it. Anyway, I did not return to Evangel the next year so that solved everything. With me living in another state, the pit bulls of Evangel will have to find someone else to target. The thought of having to go through another stupid argument with Jan is just too exhausting to contemplate.

Which Reminds Me

As I was saying, I never had any thought of the broadcasting business. I have no on-air experience and am not photogenic to put it mildly. The last thing I would want would be some nightmare about having to appear on camera all the time. Even when I was younger, the idea of having to compete against some glamorous blonde model type would be ridiculous. Why would I want to compete in a game in which I don't have the goods and could not help but lose? Obviously blondes are going to win that game, so why bother? I don't see why you would need to remind me that I can't win. I already knew that.

Which Reminds Me

I am suddenly reminded of being in study hall in high school and hearing some taunting remarks sort of directed in my direction, mostly by Kathy, something about my rabbit ears and so on. Whatever. Was I supposed to answer that? I would really rather not dignify the rotten attitude of these dreary Italians with any comment. That would give too much credit to them at my expense and I am not that dumb. These Italians certainly do give new meaning to the concept of excommunication but since I am a Protestant I don't see it that way. I really don't care what about what they are saying. Was I supposed to reward these attempts to stew me in a broth all of leeks with some sort of prize? That would be illogical. I think that if I ignore them, perhaps someday these immigrant pizza tossers will learn that they must verbalize their thoughts in English language understandable to ordinary U.S. natives such as myself. I just don't speak their private Italian gobbledy-gook street language. That much I get.

Which Reminds Me

That wasn't very nice of you to send someone to tell me that I am your voodoo doll and that you are going to completely restuff me and stick me with thousands of pins and needles. And also, you wanted to know when I am going to go to New York. Well, if that is all there is for me to look forward to in New York, mostly torture and misery, I don't really see any reason for me to go there. If it is a snake handler that you seek, I would suggest that you hire a professional, which would definitely not be me. We don't do snake handling here. Personally, I don't believe in tempting fate. Bad things sometimes happen to people who think they can test God.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, it is a bit awkward for us to see this hideous fag Susan poking around behind the scenes, as if there were something that we were supposed to say about her. We don't know anything about her or why she pretends to know something about us when actually her name does not yet have any meaning to us, myself not remembering what were the married names of Uncle Winfred's two daughters. I only figured that out later after I had done my genealogy. And even so, I still don't see the connection.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, I just remembered something about Mr. Schaeffer, our 10th grade science teacher, something about one of his more embarrassing moments. But I wasn't even thinking about that. So typical of these absent-minded professors to think that they are being talked about all the time. Not so.

Which Reminds Me

I really need to get back to work now. So maybe one of these days I will get a round Tuit.

Which Reminds Me

The Amish custom of bundlings was explained to us by Mr. Schaeffer, our 10th grade biology teacher, amongst many of his entertaining digressions, but you were not there so you would not be able to explain that correctly. Enough said.

Which Reminds Me

Why is this clueless person yapping in my face something about the Amish? I have nothing against the Amish. I am not aware of there being any Amish in our family tree. But even if there were, they can meet in their own little house churches and nobody is going to complain about whatever they want to do as long as they don't come over here and try to burn me out of house and home, in which case I would have to kill them first, and they shouldn't be imagining that I wouldn't have a clear-cut case of self-defense in case of war. I am not sure what happened originally, just that their own grandmother was disgusted with their rotten attitudes or something like that, and grandmother to us always seemed more credible to us than them. Always. But I really wasn't paying attention to the details of that. I really don't want to know the dreary details.

By the same token, I really need to get back to work and leave those Club Med whiners on the resort beach baking their skins to a cancerous hue because, really, who doesn't know that two plus two equals four? Where have you been?

Which Reminds Me

I am not sure why our cousins keep saying that they feel themselves pressured to join the military. I really don't see why they say that. Yes, I suppose that the military might have been an easy free ride with all of those benefits. The army pays for everything for them. But personally the army system seemed to me such a boring thing because I just was never interested in that type of thing. I would rather have a normal job with paycheck and take care of myself without their interference. Thanks anyway.

Which Reminds Me

We see that hideous fag Andrea has yet to explain her illicit affair with doggie dike Deborah. If there was anyone "out" at our college it would have been Deborah, who has yet to explain her rainbow affairs with Lynda. Everyone knows that Deborah is a pathetically horrible person so when she, through Lynda, accused me of being "out," I shrugged that off as more of Deborah's pathetically stupid nonsense. Why would anyone take that seriously, unless you are also "out" of your mind?

Which Reminds Me

The parable of Jesus says that those who started work early and those who did not start working until later all received the same wages. Thus you will understand my indifference to the idiotic claims of Cori to special treatment because she was employed in serving fast food long before I thought of establishing a career. So she has worked for her money by stuffing enchiladas. Ho hum! Jesus treats of us all the same is the way I read the Bible. Cori is often known to fly into idiotic screaming fits and snits. Ok, so she hates me. Whatever. That said, my confidence in Christ has nothing to do with stupid chatterings of Cori.

So what if she just got through strewing my guts all over the place. And you expect me to just get up and carry on as if nothing weird was going on. So whatever

Which Reminds Me

Needless to say, I would rather kill myself than to allow certain trashy persons to tell me how to train my daughters. Just because Beverly made some stupid mistake, that does not justify the intrusion of her stupid in-laws. We already know that Hazel had mental problems, but that was never my problem. There just won't be any daughters of mine for you Richard's wicked horrible family to train. I will just kill myself before they will rule over me.

Which Reminds Me

During high school one of our classmates was seen with a copy of the famous, or infamous if you prefer, novel called "The Valley of the Dolls." Her locker was near mine but that does not mean that I ever read that book. So all of these "Dolly" jokes are utterly meaningless to me. I have heard of the famous country singer and even seen her on TV but there is nothing of personal acquaintance to speak of.

Which Reminds Me

It was not for no reason that our high school newspaper was called the "Trojan Times." You living in your alternate reality of Sparta may think that pictures tell the whole story but it is not so. Learning to read has great value in terms of making sense of reality and the world around you, and you cannot put literacy back in the box. But I have not enough time to explain everything to you. You will just need to learn how to read someday. I have no more patience for these illiterates.

Which Reminds Me

Karen of Pennsylvania was a scary sophomore, always screaming about how she hated initiation so much that she will not rest until she has inflicted double the torture that she suffered upon the next incoming class of freshmen. So that was another reason not to return to Evangel to live a life tormented by these scary dogs. I can just take my marbles and go home. Evangel just wasn't that important to me.

Which Reminds Me

One day at Evangel someone asked me what was that bottle in a paper bag that I was seen carrying into the dorm? Answer: Welch's grape juice. Oh! Even so, said Miss Keating from Oklahoma City, I should not be seen walking into the dorm carrying a bottle of any kind in a paper bag. People will wonder what I am hiding. Yes, I suppose that is true. Even so, I know that I did nothing wrong so Miss Keating's opinions of paper bags are such a bore, especially this many years later.

Which Reminds Me

I don't quite remember who it was, when I was at Evangel, who first brought up the subject of vibrators, so I really shouldn't be guessing later. So a few days later my roommate Jan was talking about some things and I said to her that she could always use one of those things on herself. What a flippant thing for me to say! What was I thinking? And maybe that wasn't quite fair because, come to think of it, it really wasn't Jan who first brought up that subject. It was someone else whose name I have forgotten. I could name a few other people but if I guess wrong I would only be compounding the error. At that point several things were blurring together in my mind. I later happened to see one of those things on a store shelf near the digital alarm clocks and mixers and blenders, which seemed very weird to me. Why are we talking this way at a Christian college? Don't these girls have mothers to explain anything to them? Your head is full of magazine junk and not much else, obviously. So all of these things would make you wonder, obviously.

Which Reminds Me

When I was in high school our mascot was a Trojan. There was a cartoon picture of a little warrior in his armor.

However, I was talking one day to a person who was telling me that there were some people in our high school who actually consider themselves the Spartans because of their predilection for sports and the military arts. They are spartan of lifestyle and fierce of personality it would seem. Oh, I didn't know that. I just thought we were all the Trojans.

Which Reminds Me

Why are all these dark-skinned women putting so much faith in the words of old King Solomon? He's dead now, has been dead for a long time, and even if he were still alive, do you really think you would ever get a prime spot in the harem, with all your attitude problems? Well, no one can really answer these questions. It's just all vanity of vanities.

Which Reminds Me

Ok, so you wanted me to tell you about the Baja field trip and the Mexican vanilla. So why didn't you just ask me about that instead of everything else but, even though I wouldn't have known why that was important at the time. But I may need vanilla for baking cookies someday.

Which Reminds Me

I don't know how you expect me to defend the politicians of another country whose party politics has other definitions than ours. They have to answer to their own people. I don't know very much about them in political terms. I might be able to rattle off a few names but what goes on behind the scenes is not so easily explained by me. I was from a missionary family so I did not think that it was my job to build political bridges at the time. In fact, our rules basically tell us not to get involved in the local politics. That would be one way to get stuck in a quagmire that could thwart our primary purpose of building churches.

Which Reminds Me

There was a book that we read in high school, in Spanish literature, called "Mr. President." Someone was saying that I should not have read that book but I don't see why not. It really wasn't the worst of the bunch that we were assigned in high school. Some people think that women should be illiterate still but I don't see it quite that way. It was written by a Guatemalan author who won the Nobel Prize so obviously it probably did have some literary merit. It was very controversial in a political sense as were many of those books. One of the characters is called Angel Face, and when you remember that the author's own middle name was "Angel" you start to wonder if he was casting himself in the picture in some fictionalized way. Or was this "Angel" a supernatural creature of the fallen sort? Or is the use of the name "Angel" a political satire in itself, as the character in the book was a political henchman who cleans up the president's dark deeds and thus tries to put a happy face on an otherwise tyrannical dictatorship. Well, he actually was satirizing a certain Guatemalan dictator's presidency but since we didn't really know very much about that history we mostly focused on the descriptions of the poverty and corruption, because that's what happens when the rich trample on the poor.

Which Reminds Me

While in college I went on a field trip during the January term. For three weeks we traveled in two fans through Baja California and Mexico studying desert biology. I do remember that one time when we stopped at a Mexican grocery store, one of our science teachers recommended that we take advantage of the opportunity to buy a huge jug of Mexican vanilla which supposedly is better than the diluted, highly processed variety that is found in tiny jars on the average U.S. grocery store shelf and supposedly is more pure vanilla and of better flavor. So probably some of us did that. So? Who is going to argue with a science teacher with a doctoral degree in these matters?

Which Reminds Me

You often remind me of the lawsuit in which my grandparents were the losers. This involved the famous oil well drilled to find out if there was anything in it, as the letter writer said. You often liken their case to that of Ananias and Sapphira who were suddenly struck dead because their sale of property was misrepresented to the buyers. Well, we cannot dispute the facts of the lawsuit at this late date. However, most of these events occurred long before I was even born so I really cannot speak to that. All I can do is quote something in the Bible about how the sins of the parents and grandparents are not revisited upon the children. Obviously we cannot undo those past events, but also we cannot tolerate being shamed for events of which we were completely unaware. We can only start with the pieces that we found in the box and go from there.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, I suppose that those Canadians do have a problem, trying to pass off their cranky dog Ann Campbell as anything but horrible. Ann is always angry about everything so I have long since ceased to care what Ann thinks about anything. Especially is she always angry at me. I already know that Ann will always disagree with me on every point so, anyway, whatever. It has been a long time since I gave any thought to the dull and boring Campbells.

Which Reminds Me

Pam was climbing through the walls trying to find out what we had been talking about. However, I was really not interested in discussing the facts of life with that hideous fag. If I had to choose a role model it would not be Pam Fart of South Dakota. But I already had a mother who already explained to me the facts of life so I really don't need the input of these nasty prairie dogs. I just need to be alone to sort things out in my mind without their stupid interference.

Which Reminds Me

I wonder what makes the Cranfords think that I would want any part of their pile of rocks near the Dallas area. My grandmother might have had some emotional attachment to the farm of her birthplace, but to me Uncle Winfred's pile of rocks holds no particular appeal. I am not allowed to sell the mineral rights that belong to my mother. But as for the farm and its pile of rocks, I really have no interest in renewing the petition originally made by my grandmother. That would be pointless. We already know how Uncle Winfred callously shrugged that off. We already know that the Cranfords consider themselves entitled to all of the profits from the crushed rock operations and are not willing to share with us anything more than is legally required. So while we may be entitled to royalties from the natural gas, if they are fracking oil we really wouldn't know anything about that. It is not like they would ever tell us anything. To me Dallas is just another boring place of no interest.

Which Reminds Me

While I was in college at SCC I do remember that one of our classmates was named Kevin Johnson. However, I do not remember anything specific about him, just that he was blond. He appeared as a nondescript boring person of no interest as far as I was concerned. I never had any conversation with him or heard anything about him. Thus it seems odd that I would lately be hearing him muttering various threats and curses against me behind my back. During college I didn't think about him at all. Maybe he is saying that he has a problem with thinking outside the box, but I wouldn't know anything about that. In college I would have been utterly clueless about such finer points of wording.

Which Reminds Me

During the year that I was at Evangel College I remember that June was rooming with Pam Hart of South Dakota, a horrible person whom I instinctively detested. I am not sure why. I just didn't like her. And then after the girls' chat in my room, in which June played such a vocal role, one wonders what June said later to Pam about that in the privacy of their dorm room because then Pam was climbing through the walls trying to learn more about it. Well, she wasn't there at the time so I really can't explain in so many words that outrageous thing that Darlene Embry said although maybe I did make one failed attempt later and shouldn't have even tried, thus sparing myself the trauma. So obviously if I try to explain that, I would just make a bigger mess.

Which Reminds Me

While I was in college, at SCC, we had living in the dorms with us a married couple who were said to be having an open marriage. She lived in the girls' dorms and he with the boys. I don't know if that lasted more than a semester or two. At the time this story was told to me I sort of knew who they were, having seen their faces around campus once or twice, but after all this time I cannot remember their names or who they were or anything about them. I cannot answer the obvious questions: Did their so-called marriage survive college? How could this possibly happen at a Christian college? Why is our stupid RA not doing something about this? Well, I was not the RA so it was not my place to do something about that. I imagine that the information would eventually get around to them, probably already had before I even heard about this, but our RA's live on some other planet so there was no telling what they might have done.

Which Reminds Me

Jill Anderson was making some comment about being Baker Acted. That was a new term for me. She probably learned that joke from her psycho sister, Sue Watkins. So if your psychologist thinks that you are suicidal and likely to kill yourself, they are required by law to report you to the authorities in advance of your actually carrying out the suicidal intentions that you expressed during your session. I don't remember the context of Jill's comment, just that the use of Baker's chocolate squares do not qualify as justification for this vast invasion of privacy. I am just saying.

Which Reminds Me

I don't know how you expect us to accomplish anything while the dreary denizens of Dallas are allowed to run roughshod over all of our personal interests. Wasn't it they who murdered Uncle Herb? Wouldn't they be likely to kill me too if I were to set foot in that dreary city called Dallas? Yes, there would be no reason for me to go there to be humiliated by the dreary whiners of Dallas. I wouldn't know who my friends or enemies are. All the people I would hope would be my friends would turn out to be my enemies and also my enemies would be packing more punch than I had originally estimated. Thus, the thought of going to Dallas has no appeal for me.

Which Reminds Me

I don't know how you expect us to accomplish anything at all while the dreary denizens of Dallas/Denton are allowed to run roughshod over all of our personal interests. There are many things too personal to discuss with their brood of wicked children, I don't really care how many. 8? 9? Not meaning to be mean, but they don't really have the paperwork to warrant poking their noses into matters that are none of their concern. We may or many not have some paperwork but won't need the Warrens' interference for anything, thanks anyway. I hadn't thought of expressing this thought in so many words, but since Geordgie Pordgie Puddin Pie is so urgently insisting on a pack of nonsense, I must say: So?

Which Reminds Me

Of course, knowing what I know now, I probably never would have gone back to California for college or ever. Never. But back in the old days I had no idea that I had so many enemies among the People of California who so utterly despise me and think of nothing else but how many extraneous curses they may heap on my head somehow, as if I even knew what they were talking about. I really wasn't expecting everybody to like me but back in the old days it seemed like at least some people were friendly and nice enough. I just didn't see it that way back in the old days.

Which Reminds Me

And who is calling who an Amalekite? Why you wretched Girgashite, Hivite, Perrizite, Parasite! Well, I do remember some people at college were calling me a Parasite but I don't remember why. I wasn't asking them for anything, don't want their dirty money anyway, am not involved in the practice of fundraising for nonprofit organizations, so it was just gratuitous name-calling as far as I was concerned. I am supposed to just ignore these ignorant whiners because, really, they don't know what they are talking about and, anyway, college is not a good place or time to address these points. I am not yet in a good position to blow them away.

Which Reminds Me

One day near the end of my second semester at Evangel College I came back to my dorm room to find that all of Jan's things were gone. The window and door were open and Sue Waligunda, who is of Ukrainian descent, was there to tell me that Jan Green was gone now and that she had propped the door and window open to clear the air, to dispel the clogged air. Ok, so that was nice of Sue. How it came about that Jan was expelled from the dorm I really don't quite remember. I wasn't there for the final confrontation so I really don't know exactly what happened or what the last straw was. I just know that it actually was sort of a relief to have the room all to myself for the last couple of weeks or so. It is hard to say who was a more outrageous person, June or Jan. Also present were Karen from Pennsylvania, Darlene Embry, Cindy, and I'm not sure who else. It is hard to explain how such a supposedly spiritual Bible major protege of Dr. Baldwin could be such a depressing roommate as far as I was concerned. There never seems to be anything nice to say about her that I can remember, but the Green family are horribly nasty rich people so it is somewhat unfortunate for me to be on the wrong side of them.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, ha ha ha! Shrill hag Dorothy pretending to be Mother Superior of the Dominican order. These haughty arrogant Swedish people are so utterly selfish and greedy, thinking only of themselves and never of anyone but themselves and their own greedy Scanned-e-Navient selfish desires.

Which Reminds Me

I really don't care what you say. I always did strongly dislike those whiners Sharon, Debbie and Rose at college. I just don't like them, personally speaking, but that's just me. I don't care how well they sing or play the piano. I just don't like them, personally speaking. Not to be mean or anything but I always did think they were deeply weird and to be avoided in general because, anyway, nobody really knows what they are talking about and, anyway, who cares? I just don't care. I just can't let those weird people run my life. I have to think for myself and find my own life because, obviously, if it all were up to them there wouldn't be anything left over for me. I can't expect or depend on them for anything.

Which Reminds Me

So maybe now those Dominican fryers will get a clue and stop trying to lure me to their dreary convent. I really don't care about them that much. There is a limit to how much tribulation one poor person such as myself can endure.

Which Reminds Me

Oh, I was not aware of the Italian fairy tales, but yes I do suppose that they would have them. Pretty much all cultures of the world have fairy tales of one sort or another so it is not surprising that there would also be Sicilian fairy tales of which you were perhaps referring but I did not understand then. Here they are now for those who are so inclined to compare and contrast the fairy tales of island culture, be it Ireland or Sicily. As for me, I really don't have much interest in reading more fairy tales now that I am an adult. I suppose that the global supply of fairy tales is quite large and where would it end? I really don't remember much about that. You must have gotten me confused with someone else.

Which Reminds Me

When I was at Evangel College, I remember hearing June talk about how she and some other girls went to the campus of the Central Baptist College that was in the same city to use their library or eat at their snack bar or something. I don't remember specifically what they were doing there, but while they were there they struck up a conversation with some Baptist boy there, and he responded saying that their rules did not permit him to be seen speaking in public to such girls as them. So this incident was discussed as an example of the extreme conservatism of the Baptist college. Yes, I am quite certain that the Baptist version of CBC may be even more conservative than ours in some ways. Of this I have no doubt. However, personally speaking, I really see no reason to go there and meddle with those people's heads. They have their own peculiar rules to go by and we have ours. I tend to think that they really wouldn't understand us.

Which Reminds Me

"Come up and see me some time," said June from Massachusetts, blinking luridly, imitating the movie lines of Mae West's saloon girl, during the college talent show at Evangel College, part of an impromptu version of "The Dating Show." I also remember that two guys imitating the Blues Brothers poured a goldfish bowl into a blender and turned it on. Ick!

Well, June lived down the hall from me that year so I can vouch that she was prone to saying the most outrageous things, on or off stage matters not. She was making the most of a resemblance to Bette Midler, and wasn't Bette Midler wildly popular at the time? But sometimes these movie things do not play so well at Christian colleges. I can easily imagine that some people would have been outraged at June's sayings and doings but I really don't remember very much about that. I didn't go back to Evangel the next year so I can't really say more about that.

Which Reminds Me

It seems clear enough that the voters had spoken. Nobody really wanted Anne poking around behind the scenes. But if she wants to have her own private pity party, well, nobody can really begrudge her that.

Which Reminds Me

Why all this yapping about the State of Mass? So you think that attending Catholic Mass once a year will keep you covered on the political front. Personally speaking, I have never been that far north. Baltimore is the farthest north that I have ever been at present. Whether it is Chappaqua or Chappaquidick to which you refer, I know nothing of a personal nature. All I can offer to you is Dauna's empty head on a platter. Plus a parroting of the anti-Kennedy political mutterings of various family members. We were Republicans so obviously we would not care to hear more about the various intrigues and connivings of them. But I suppose all that money can buy you a lot of friends and political connections.

Which Reminds Me

How many times do I have to explain that just having red hair and freckles does not constitute one an Irish Catholic? The truth is much more complicated than that. There might be some Irish there among other things but this is not a reason to establish worthless dialogue with the dreary Kennedy clan, who although immensely rich are otherwise impossible. I am not interested in being a minion of them. This is supposed to be America where we are free of these silly European prejudices.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, that was weird. I was hearing messages from the snarky arrogant Boone clan, something about prosecuting us for having violated copyright laws and Ferrer being incensed about our impersonation of Debbie Boone. And don't I know that it was Kathy Wilson who did the "You Light Up My Life" skit in the talent show? Only because I watched it from the audience. Why would I have to pay for the copyright transgressions of the Wilson family? It's not like they ever tell me anything. I don't know anything about it. I think they should be paying me to compensate for all this harassment, none of which I was prepared to handle.

Which Reminds Me

I have no need of any Southern Baptist spokesman to represent me. For one thing, I have no reason to be negotiating with the Anglican Church in regards to my church membership for purposes of linking through them to the Catholics. It's not like there is anything to discuss with them. I am sure they will be taking very good care of the castle without any help from me. I have no castle claims to speak of. Just because some meddlesome Southern busybodies are trying to get in my face, that does not mean they represent me in any way. Why are they bothering me? I do not wish to be represented by some clueless Southern boys who have gotten too big for their britches, as the saying goes. There is just nothing to discuss. Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Jesus is all that matters in terms of eternity.

Which Reminds Me

Yes, sometimes they try to make me feel like I am the virus, which makes me rather angry with them, those tormentors, and then I remember that God loves me and that I am who God made me to be and then I don't care so much about what they think, because anyway, it's not about them. They really don't matter in the long run. It's about me and my personal relationship with God. That is what matters in terms of eternity.